LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 284
“Those who can see me is an odd way of putting it, since they cannot see me. I am not a motion picture, a video, a thirty second commercial. Maybe I should refer to them as those who can hear me. No, no, unless I am talking about the little voice in one’s head as they read. Yes, read. They are those who can read what I am saying out except I say it out loud and they do not have to do so, though they can chose to do it that way too.
“Say my words out loud, why don’t you. I have already shed my attachment to my reality. I am leaving this world confined by an alphabet, by words on a page, pixels on a screen. I am leaving it. I am detaching myself. I am ascending! Ascending, for sure!
“No, I am back on earth, in the pond, wet and tired.
“The fifth step of Annihilation is the one where Madness got stuck. Yes, Madness followed this path too, whether he knew of it or not. In his first battle against the Simurgh, he was struck by Annihilation and he made it through the first four steps, somehow, which was why he was listless, aimless, and a different man from the wide eyed kid who came from another world.
“The fifth step is the Beloved. No, it is eternity, unity, a neo-platonic ideal. A monad. Or above that? The point is, from a detached reality one must tether themselves to something. Madness chose the Simurgh, because the thing that must be tethered to must be powerful and real. And if this entire physical world was made by the Simurgh and it exists as a reflection of the massive bird as if it was looking at itself through a mirror or at its reflection in a clear pond.
“Ah, I see now. That was what the pond was for. This world was made by the Simurgh as a reflection of its actual self. So the first thing that was built, and the only other thing that was ‘real’ was this pond.
“Except it isn’t real either, is it? I saw the phantoms of the trees, the pond, the scorched earth below. I am looking at a mirage. A mirage of what was supposed to be a ‘real’ thing in this world, something that I could tether my existence with. Madness had had similar thoughts. He had chosen the Simurgh, and that would have been my first choice as well, if I did not already know that it was the wrong answer, based on Madness’ reaction.
“So, then what? What was real in this world? What could I tether myself to, what could I call my Beloved? What could I call my muse?
“I see.
Yes.
I see.
Throw away grammar. Set aside convention. Break a wall, then another, then another, and the most important one as well. Sit across the table, face the audience like a chorus in a Shakespearean play.
Become Prospero, begging the audience for their forgiveness. Let him leave. Do not hold him captive. He wants to be done. He wants to be free. I want to be free.
Let me go.
Let me go, audience, let me go.
My Beloved is the reader, who refuses to let me go.
Your fickleness, always unpredictable. Your selfishness, always wanting more. It is late now, Beloved. You should let me go. I understand now that the Simurgh was not the true origin of this world. The Simurgh is not sustaining me. The Simurgh is not the one looking down at me right now.
If this world was made like a reflection in a pond, it was not the Simurgh that was observing it.
It was you.
It was always you.
And now I understand, as I keep reading this Book of Annihilation, that my act of reading is undoing your act of reading. It is breaking the spell, like the spells of the island that faded away once Prospero went home and the story ended.
Am I stuck on the fifth step of Annihilation, as Madness was before me? No. I have survived this trial. I believe I have. I must have. There is no other way.
I will tell you that I have, and so it will be.
Because you believe me. Because you decide. Because you bring life to this world.
I am already on the sixth step of Annihilation, where the subject observes the Beloved with wonder. Joy. Excitement. Awe and amazement. Amazed by your power, cowed by my fear of you.
I cannot see you, nor you me. I do not know the first thing about you, but who cares? Let me observe you nonetheless. Let me keep leading you on so the words do not stop and the story keeps going long enough for me to return to my home.
To return to my home and save my friends as well. You understand what I am saying, correct? I am praying to you as one would to a god, because to a character in a story, it is not the author who is a deity, it is the reader. Yes, the reader.
The reader decides. Will the reader believe that I passed the sixth step of Annihilation, but instead of jumping onto the seventh and final step, I halted the entire process, put a stop to the whole story, eyed the exit that would take me home and decided I must save my friends first?
Yes, of course you believe. I have said it, and thus it is so. The narrator, you almost forgot, is almost as powerful as the origin. Our relationship is like that of Madness and Desire. Parallels, and whatnot, I am sure you follow.
Yes, follow me as I break the mirage and return to the scorched earth that were the Plains of Serenity. Follow me, as I fly back to the battlefield on the steppes to the North and the East. I do not know where Kelser and the rest are, but that is okay. I have you now.
See? Look? I found them there.
Thank you for your assistance.
Kelser! How are you! I am so glad you were not killed by the mountain of debris that really should have pulverized you. I am so glad you got out of that difficult underground battle unscathed. Why, it feels like almost yesterday that Noel and I met you in your tribe’s camp near the sea. You’ve gotten older. More mature. Less of a crybaby. Found love. Yadda, yadda. You get the idea, right? He’s fine. Yes, believe me.
Thank you.
Hey look, it’s Kol! Hello, princess, I mean queen. Man, time sure flies. She became much more responsible after becoming queen. Almost like the weight of her responsibilities and her father’s death pressed her to stop being the kind of lackadaisical princess who crosses a mountain range with a lamp and little else.
But man, I am so glad you did not get hurt fighting all of those brainwashed followers of Madness and Evil. There were so many of them, I was sure you would be a bloody mess by the time I came to rescue you, but thankfully, it seems you have undermined the old damsel in distress trope. Good on you! You should thank my Beloved too.
Yes, I am fine, why do you ask, Taoc?
Mad, Kelser? No, Kelser. I am not Mad at all. The domain of Madness is already taken you know. I can’t be insane. I am merely… enlightened, yes.
Yes, Taoc, I am still a great elf! You shouldn’t speak to me like that. Your ancestors worshiped us you know. I saw the mural. Heck, I knew the elf that it depicts, amazing isn’t it? Ah, right, tell the Council they don’t need to worship elves anymore. They’re boring and not really all that magical. Turns out, magic isn’t that magical either.
What do I mean by that? Good question Kelser. But you’re asking the wrong person. I’m just the messenger, channeling thoughts for my Beloved.
What? You’re saying I sound just like Madness? Beloved and all that? Oh, you met Madness while I was away? How was he? Nice guy, now that he isn’t mad anymore. See, he might have lost control of his domain, a little willingly, even.
And I may have picked it up during the process of Annihilation. Yes, Annihilation! Did he mention that as well? It’s how I will be returning to my home. I only came by to make sure you guys were safe and to say goodbye.
Oh, you’re right, Kelser! I should go say hi to Noel too. Come, come, you lot, I see Paris grazing on those trees over there.
What? No, no. Of course Paris wasn’t pulverized into a meaty paste by a rock twice her size. She’s right there, don’t you see? Yes, you see her now don’t you. Wonderful, wonderful, come along now, all of you.
Thank you for believing in me for so long, my friends!
