Etudie Perpetuity

The past pushed the present into the future?

What did that mean?

I frowned. I was still reading the Book of the Past in my head, but that wasn’t helping me figure this out at all. I understood a little bit of what Madness had said. I already knew the reason the Immortals didn’t directly intervene in the world all of the time was because it gave the other Immortals the chance to increase their own power at the expense of the intervening Immortal. If that same principle applied to the temporal domains, Madness’ intervention on that day could have given both the Evil Eye and the Simurgh the opportunity to grow stronger. Except, the Evil Eye had recently lost the Oracle and The Terrible, which must have weakened it too much for it to gain much from Madness’ intervention at that time.

But even if the Simurgh had increased the power of the Past, why would that send us to the future? Did it maybe work like the way my power to travel to the Future did? When I moved something after projecting into the future, my body would move to that point in time. Everything else proceeded as if I had simply disappeared. Did my conversation with Madness freeze me in time, allowing the Simurgh to ‘push the present into the future’ by expanding the past?

The bird pecked the silver orb and a loud crack resounded through the air.

The other birds stopped flapping their wings, hanging listlessly in the air. The tornado fizzled out, caressing the inside of the silver orb as it faded. The lead bird kept its beak in the crack, its dark beady eyes trained right at me.

My lips closed. My eyes followed. Words, thoughts, ideas flowed through my head. Madness’ words echoed and I finally understood.

I finally understood the Past.

---

“Wait, can you tell me how to get back to my world?”

The Immortal of Madness said, “Since you didn’t ask me to send you home right away, I think you like it here, don’t you?”

“Yes, I like it here. This world is fun and exciting. I have friends here now, I can use magic, and even though I’ve been fighting one insane monster after another, I feel like I’m strong enough to protect myself now.”

“Very well, I’ll tell you how to get home. If you ever get tired of this world, you can just go back! How does that sound? You can even take little Noel with you, if you want. If she wants to join you, that is.”

“That sounds too good to be true.”

“Well, I never said it would be easy to get back to your world.”

“I see.”

“But the way back is simple. You just have to be annihilated.”

“You mean I can get back to my world if I die?”

“No! Death is death. How stupid do you have to be to think dying here would bring you to another world? No, annihilation, annihilation. You must pursue annihilation!”

---

The Past exists unchanging. It cannot not be altered. I can only observe it.

---

“Thank you, Caspian Holm. I knew I was right to let you through,” said the figure.

“Who? What are you?”

“I am your benefactor. The one who pretended not to know about that stupid red thing’s plans. Oh, you have no idea how much I’ve helped the two of you. And you have no idea how much you’ve helped me. Thank you, Caspian Holm and Noel Jora, for letting me meet my beloved, once again.”

---

The Past’s power is in its permanence and its inevitability. In weight, it is always heavier than the future and the present. It carries with it many souls, many histories, many dreams and wishes, many regrets and mistakes.

---

“The one from the story?”

“Yes. They called themselves the Immortal of Desire.”

“The Immortal of Desire,” whispered the elder. “I have not heard that name before. I have lived for many years, child. It is strange for me to not know the name of a god. Especially one that did not leave our world.”

---

“Come on! There’s no way that thing is going down that easily,” said Noel.

“We need to run as far as we can,” I said.

“But the Oracle is right outside and she’s controlling uncle Sharun.”

“We can deal with that. The bigger question is where do we go from here.”

“We should go to the camp first and gather the other tribesmen. We need to let them know The Terrible is a five star monster, not a blessing from the gods!”

---

The Past is too powerful. It should not be used carelessly. And now that the Present and the Future were also in my hands, I had the power to destroy everything with a wayward thought. A little carelessness could feed everything and everyone to the insatiable stomach of the Past.

---

“You taught me to drink from your eyes, the ripe red wine of love. Wrought in the heavens from pure moonlight, the whole world dances for you. Repentance torn to tatters, I can see nothing but you. With my feet in the waves, I drink from the sea. I am drunk off your gaze, I am drunk off your love. I am drunk off of this gentle feeling of intense ecstasy. This gentle feeling of intense ecstasy, I blame on your gaze. This gentle feeling of intense ecstasy, I am drunk off your gaze.”

---

“Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood, in which the burden of the mystery, in which the heavy and the weary weight of all this unintelligible world, is lightened. That serene and blessed mood,

in which the affections gently lead us on, until, with an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things.”

---

It made sense that poetry went to the Immortal of Desire. It also made sense that the Past went to the Immortal of Desire. Poetry, past, desire, everything carried a note of romanticism. Like rose petals on a lake’s surface. Cherry blossoms, sweet mountain air, think of anything you like, anything that evoked poesy, wistfulness, perhaps even a little lust, though not of the carnal sort. And not love, either, since that was the domain of madness, and for good reason.

---

“And this is a double berry.”

“Are these good to eat?”

“No, they’re poisonous. We use them as bait for Farro Birds.”

“Wonderful.”

---

The only part that did not make sense to me was Desire. Not that the Simurgh could not control desire. Desire fits the romanticism completely. No, I could not figure out why the Simurgh was titled the Immortal of Desire. It wasn’t a simple quirk of my translation magic. Even Madness had been surprised the first time he heard it.

---

“This blade was always given to the greatest hunter in the tribe, but nobody believed a single elf could hunt the vicious Carica Serpent. My father was faster than any other elf. My uncle chased after him, followed closely by other hunters, but by the time they reached the watering hole, the Carica Serpent was slain. Its long, slender body lying next to the water’s edge, curling like a sand dune.”

“My father’s body was found next to the beast. A large gash in his stomach, oozing blood. One of the monster’s teeth lay on the ground beside him. The song ends with the verse: Carica’s blood burned to ash by Rosta’s anger. The water turned bitter with Jora’s tears.”

---

The Past must be recollected in reverse.

---

“I need you to say a few words, slowly and while stressing your mouth movements. Anything is fine at first, I just want to confirm something.”

“I understand now! Wait, that’s so cool. You got all of that from a name?”

---

The Simurgh controlled the Past, and the Past was insanely powerful. It also controlled Annihilation. It was, according to the three Immortals, the most powerful Immortal of all. But then why was it called the Immortal of Desire?

---

“Hi, you wouldn’t happen to be a figment of my imagination, would you? Or a character in a really, really vivid dream?”

“No, my name is Noel, and I’m real. What about you, are you real?”

“Yeah, I think I am, and like I said, the name’s Cas.”

---

Yes, the name is Cas. And I am just as confused as you are.