Ero Dungeon Online

After the raid was over, I decided to hang around in the instance for a few minutes just to enjoy the bittersweet music that played after the boss was defeated. It was always one of my favorite soundtracks in the entire game. Somehow, the game’s composer managed to perfectly capture the feeling of going up against an ancient being who wished to save his people only to be betrayed into dooming his people. Then, as the battle progressed and came to its end, the epic theme transitioned into a soft and sad theme, but it felt uplifting at the same time.

The betrayed ruler was finally dead, his people freed. While none were left of their civilization, they were at least finally able to rest in peace – spared from unending life dedicated to destruction and despair.

Even the dark clouds over the raid zone cleared once the boss was dead to allow rays of sunshine to come down unto the decrepit city.

Every clear of the raid tempted me to get more involved in the game’s story. Sure, the game also had absurd and hyper-sexualized areas and themes, but it had a dramatic and emotional storyline in the background.

During one seasonal event, you might have a forest perverted to the point where its trees turn into giant dicks and its streams of water replaced by streams of cum that oversized sperm cells swim through.

During another seasonal event, you might be assisting the preparation of a festival dedicated to honoring all those who were lost within the game’s story where everything is very somber and serious… until somebody dressed like a rainbow unicorn with a dick on their head comes for the event

“How long do you plan on lying there, darling?” my favorite spider asked, interrupting my thoughts.

“Until the timer runs out and kicks me out, probably,” I answered.

“Do you realize that the filth you are lying on is likely the ashes of the dead?”

“I do. I also realize this is a game where all of those ashes are going to magically disappear after about five seconds of walking around.”

“You have a point. So, tell me. Do you plan on doing anything for your leave? I am sure the guild master would be willing to throw a going-away party for you.”

“That’s too flashy. I’m thinking I’ll just… sort of leave.”

“Leaving without saying a word to anybody does not sound like you.”

“I mean, I’ll send a message in guild chat or something, and everybody that I’m friends with is already on my friends list, so it’s not like I’m cutting ties.”

“Still, I would think a man with your beliefs would want to do something more… proper?”

“It doesn’t help that I have no idea what makes for a good goodbye. It’s generally been others leaving me and then me dealing with it. I’ve never been the one to leave others. Besides, it’s just a guild. People leave guilds all the time.”

“This may be true, but everybody in the guild knows who you are. After all, you are probably the most famous person that any of them have ever met. You may not be one of the guild’s top members, but you are still its star.”

“Don’t – don’t call me its star.”

“Why not? Ah, I see. Could it be that being considered so highly flusters you? Or is it something else causing your cheeks to redden?”

I set the status of my helmet to visible so that my face was no longer visible.

“You may have thought that a good idea, but all you have done is confirm my theory. It is surprising to think that somebody with your level of popularity could still be flustered over something such as this.”

“It’s just… weird. I mean, I can handle being called popular when it comes to my videos, but I don’t like being called the star of a guild. Especially when I’m not even one of the best players in it. That title deserves to go to somebody who actually deserves it and not somebody who people like just because I’m popular.”

“Please, darling. You know as well as I do that you would have made just as many friends even if you had no prior popularity. Though, now that I am thinking about it, you are horrible at being popular.”

“How am I horrible at it?”

“Because. Those who are popular are supposed to be full of themselves—”

“I would be if I could clone myself.”

“I – that… is not what I meant, but I suppose it qualifies. Now, as I was saying, those who are popular are supposed to be egotistical.”

“I mean, I did just say I would fuck myself. Or let myself fuck me.”

Thera sighed and raised a palm to her face.

Making her facepalm was always one of my favorite pastimes.

“Then I shall move onto the next point. You may be egotistical, but you do not flaunt your status, you are exceedingly humble, you are—”

It was a really good thing that I made my helmet visible. If she could have seen how much she was making me blush, she would have had no short amount of fuel to use in teasing me. Though, I always did enjoy being teased by her. Even so, it was still embarrassing and I was just as happy to avoid it as I was to experience it.

Maybe it was because I knew that if there was any one person in the world who couldn’t care less about my status, it was Thera. Sure, she checked out some of my videos after everybody figured out who I was, but she wasn’t even a fan of them and how she treated me after that did not change in the slightest. There is also the fact that she told me numerous times before that she did not care about who I was outside of the game – that all that mattered was who I was inside of the game.

I never expected us to get as close as we managed to get. Though, I still wanted to get closer.

“—are you even listening to me?” she asked, her arms crossed over her abdomen just below her chest.

“Sorry, I was thinking about when we met. You were kind of cold to me back then.”

“Somebody had to be. The few girls in the guild started fawning all over you as soon as they found out who you were. I had no intention of feeding fuel to your ego.”

“You say that now, but becoming friends with you has done more for my ego than their fangirling ever did.”

If there was one thing I loved more than making Thera facepalm, it was making her smile. She always looked so serious and reserved. Whenever she smiled, though – well, it was just one of those smiles that I could get addicted to. It was probably a good thing that her smiles only ever came in rare, quick moments or else I would have developed an addiction to them without a doubt.

“I suppose that is another point proving just how poorly you behave for somebody of your popularity. You could easily use it to your advantage, but I do not believe I have ever seen that. You always earn everything on your own merit. Smiles included.”

“Are you telling me that I can redeem my popularity for more smiles from you? I might have to take you up on that offer.”

“I would never show you another smile if you were to try. Fortunately for you, I know that the thought would never cross your mind.”

“Well, it technically just did if I asked about it.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Hah. Oh, and I was going to ask you later, but do know any crafters you could get me in touch with?”

Thera sighed. “I see that no amount of… expertise in your field can prevent a man from ruining the mood.”

“Ah, sorry. I’m just really excited.”

“It is alright, darling. Even if you only get so childishly excited over the perverse, it is still adorably endearing.”

Since I had absolute faith in Thera meaning everything that left her lips without influence, there was no way that being called ‘adorably endearing’ wouldn’t make that blush return to my cheeks.

And so, the helmet stayed visible.

“That is something else, darling. I have never seen a man get called adorable or cute and then not deny it. Most prefer being called manly, masculine, handsome, and so on. You would think that calling a man adorable is comparable to tossing holy water onto a vampire.”

“I used to feel like that when I was younger. Like, maybe when I was thirteen-fourteen or so. Then I realized it’s just a compliment and that it’s stupid to get upset over it. Having more sex while being called that than the guys who hated being called it also helped.”

“I see. Like everything else, your confidence is fueled by sex.”

“Hey, sex isn’t the only thing that fuels me.”

“Oh? Then what else serves as your fuel?”

“Your smile.”

Thera’s eyes widened for just a second. The corners of her lips threatened to curl, but she restrained them before she could show me what I wanted to see. Well, she restrained them for a couple of seconds. There was no stopping the smile.

“You are both an expert at ruining the mood and above average at restoring it.”

“Only above average?”

“Using higher praise than that would inflate your ego too much.”

“Fair enough. The only thing I want to see getting inflated is wombs.”

“It has been ruined again.”

“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“I will forgive you this time. Now, what do you need a crafter for?”

“To craft something out of the drop I got. I didn’t even think about trying to get this crafted before since it usually gets used to craft the mount, but now I want to turn it into a trap for the dungeon.”

The item that I got from the boss was called “The Grand Lich’s Book.” It looked like a simple, dusty book and it had no use as anything more than a crafting material. Some people used it to craft unique weapons if they liked how the skins looked. Most people used it to craft the special mount that the community had nicknamed “Master Hand.” After all, when using the mount, you get to sit in the palm of a giant, purple, glowing hand made out of demonic energy.

It even had a special action that could be used to flip people off.

More importantly, the book could be used to craft a trap for the dungeon – a trap that is modified by the dungeon master’s alignment.

But first, I needed a crafter since I didn’t have any of my crafting classes leveled up high enough. It didn’t help that it needed a max-level Mana Tamer – a niche crafting class.

I figured I should probably include that with my request. “They need to be a Mana Tamer, by the way.”

“I see,” Thera answered. “I do know of one particular individual with every crafting class at maximum level, but he – well, he can be an annoying individual to deal with. He acts like a man with the popularity of you without any of said popularity. He thinks very highly of himself, but he is brilliant. I believe you have met him once before.”

“Wait, you’re not talking about—”

“I am.”

“Fucking Wally.”

I only ever met him once before. Our first meeting didn’t go that well since he had the kind of personality that I always had difficulty working with. Perhaps the most infuriating thing about him was that he kept his in-game name hidden, so the only name that I knew to call him was the nickname that Thera told me about.

Wally.

According to Thera, he got the nickname from one of his associates telling everybody else to call him that, and he never bothered giving anybody else a different name to call him. The infuriating part about it was that he hated being called Wally… but still refused to tell anybody a different name to call him.

Why? Just why?

He made no sense to me.

If there was anything else about him that annoyed me, it was how – well, obvious he was even if he didn’t think that he was.

I can understand why people hide their sexualities. Maybe they’re nervous, uncomfortable, afraid, might get into trouble for it – there are tons of reasons for it.

But just like his name… he makes it obvious and then gets flustered when it’s pointed before asking, “Does it matter?”

Yeah, you Wally, it matters! You send more confusing signals than anybody I have ever met! One moment, his eyes kept on going down to my crotch. The next moment, he was saying he had no interest in such “immature barbarity.”

He even knew who I was and knew that there was no way I would ever judge nor shame him, but he continued being – just – he continued being Wally.

Fucking Wally.

If somebody wants to be private about their sexuality, that’s fine. If somebody wants to be open about their sexuality, that’s also fine. But jumping back and forth between them, saying one thing while acting in a completely different way, is just confusing and annoying. I even made a video long before meeting him about how types like him are dangerous and generally not worth any time. Dangerous because they might want something but never clearly consent to it, and not worth the time because there are others out there who won’t send such confusing signals.

But… I will admit that he was also the type of person I liked to tease.

If only I could have teased him while making sure that it was something he wanted, but nope.

He only had one redeeming factor other than looking like a nerdy twink.

As annoying as he might have acted, I could tell that there was kindness behind his eyes.

That kindness only added to how contradictory of a person he was.

And so, Thera arranged a meeting between me and Wally to get the trap for my dungeon crafted.

As much as I would have preferred somebody less troublesome to work with, I knew that Wally could be depended on even after just one meeting with him.

I also knew the perfect way to tease him considering how much he kept on looking at me before.

This time, I would give him nothing to look at.