LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 6. U-turn?
The man was silent for a long moment.
Xuelan's shoulders shook, and her long hair was scattered in a disarray.
"We need to talk." He spoke firmly.
The girl slowly sank to the ground beside the bed, her body dragging the blanket. Her eyes looked vacant, and she didn't react.
"Tell me what you're honestly feeling. Don't hold anything back. I don't want to misunderstand you." Kien said.
She was filled with contempt.
If he wanted her to talk, she wasn't going to do it unless he forced it out of her.
That demon shaman from the Tower said that Kien controlled everything now, right? He could brainwash her, micro-manage her muscles, peek into her memories, and mind-control her deepest beliefs if he desired it. Total unconditional ownership meant that nothing was spared. If he was dissatisfied with her personality, there was probably a way for him to edit out the parts that he didn't like. He could easily convert her into a perfectly obedient and mindless sex doll.
Xuelan had no way of knowing how much longer she'd be able to remain herself.
For that matter, was there any way to tell that he hadn't already modified her beyond recognition? What if he had already planted some kind of subconscious directive in her brain that she was unaware of? The psychopathic stalker could probably secretly order her to fall in love with him, and she would have no idea if her feelings were artificial or genuine.
Was she still the same person right now as who she was 48 hours ago?
Regardless, Xuelan wasn't going to give her ex-boyfriend the luxury of her cooperation. Even if he now owned her body, she refused to give him her heart. He could take it by force, but it wouldn't be the same.
She stared at him silently.
Kien sighed, and then sat down on the floor cross-legged so that he was level with her eyes.
"Look, Xue. I know you probably can't forgive me, but I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. You were the only person I could think of who I thought might possibly enjoy this."
"Enjoy this? What the fuck?"
"You're a masochist. Unless you magically stopped being one in the six years we were apart."
"You'd rather rape your ex-girlfriend than random strangers? What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I have a conscience, Xue. Maybe I'm messed up in the head for getting off on a woman's tears, but based on what I remember, you're at least equally as broken as me. This is why BDSM exists. We can satisfy each other's urges when ordinary people would look at everything we do in horror. But I can't fuck innocent strangers like that and still feel good about myself."
"BDSM isn't rape. A sexual fantasy isn't rape. Maybe I'm a little masochistic, but that doesn't mean I want to be raped."
"I know. I know. I'm sorry. Once I summoned you, it was a one way street. We couldn't stop the ritual halfway through."
"You raped me, Kien. You know my hard limits and blew straight past them."
"I'm sorry."
"Saying sorry doesn't make rape feel any better."
"Xue. I can't take back the mistakes I made, but I want to try my best to make our future better. We can turn this into BDSM. All of this can be 100% consensual moving forward."
The black-haired asian suddenly laughed out loud.
"Consensual?"
There was almost a derisive sneer in her voice.
"Is that how it works now? Step 1, magically enslave the girl while she's screaming no. Step 2, ask her to consent to all your future sick perversions? Step 3, profit?"
"Xue, please."
"No, I won't do it. I won't give you that satisfaction. Go fuck someone else."
"There isn't anyone else I can turn to."
"What? You think raping other girls is unpleasant? Oh? Too bad, boohoo. Looks like you don't have consent from me. You're stuck now, aren't you? You're a rapist either way. Don't delude yourself into thinking you're a good person. This isn't BDSM. You're not a Dom. You aren't an ordinary sadist with a rapeplay kink. In truth, you like genuine rape and you like torturing screaming women. Now you've done it for real, and you jerked off while doing it. Kien, you belong behind prison bars."
Kien suddenly closed his eyes and took a breath.
"No. You're right." He said.
The incubus slowly stood up.
His tall frame swayed in the room, and his golden eyes snapped open.
+ + +
"I'm not a good person. I died and went to Hell. I've done many terrible things in my life, and I deserve to be here."
Kien's words were slow and carefully chosen.
"But you're mistaken about one thing, Xue."
He walked over to the table and started running his hands over an array of toys scattered on the wooden surface.
"I made this offer to you because I thought it'd be nice if you could get some pleasure out of this arrangement. I thought we were friends, you know? I miss the days when we used to date. It was the least I could do for your sake."
He picked up a coil of vine-like rope that was lined with rough thorns.
"But if you'd rather choose the painful route, I have absolutely no problems with that. In fact..."
A small and frightening smile slowly stretched over the incubus's face.
"Truthfully, I do get rock hard thinking about fucking you without your consent. If I'm honest with my desires, I just love the way your voice sings when you scream."
He bit his lips softly, as if trying to resist a particularly nasty urge.
"Are you sure it's a good idea to tell me to abandon all my morals? Because if so, I'm not sure if there's any turning back."
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