Empathic capacity of a teaspoon (HP Self-insert

I was lying on Bills couch, it was a nice green shade, my favourite colour actually. Fiddling with the fluffy pillows I completely ignored my brother’s baffled face.

“What.“ he repeated himself again.

“I want you to teach me how to apparate.“ I said with the blandest voice possible.

“Why ask me, I know how to do it but I’m not really an expert.“ I gave him the best deadpan I could manage.

“Because I trust you unlike, I don't know, basically everyone else.“ My eldest brother had a sad look on his face.

“I know you never really had a great relationship with mum and dad sorry for asking.“ That was a dumb thing to assume. No matter the relationship, no parent would ever consider teaching their pre-17-year-old child apparation.

I waited until Bill sipped his tea, the one I had made.

Bill was terrible at making teas.

“I'm pretty sure they think i'm squib.“ His reaction to that was to spew tea all over the floor and start coughing uncontrollably.

After he was done he took out his wand muttered a cleaning spell and put on his thinking face.

You knew it was his thinking face because his brows creased themselves together.

“You know I've never actually seen you do accidental magic, I just always assumed you were way to calm for that to be necessary.“ He looked at me and asked. “Can you do magic?“

I threw a weak fireball at his face, I was pretty sure that was answer enough.

You could see his brain grind to a stop.

“Take care your ears might start smoking.“ I grinned as I teased him.

He started massaging his temples.

“Any other bombshell you want to bombard me with or is that all?“ Well, he was asking for it.

“I'm also a reincarnation.“ At this point Bill just slammed his head on the table and started groaning.

Later when he was feeling well enough again, I had gone over and patted his back I was sure that had helped a lot, he asked.

“Why never tell anyone?“

Shrugging I answered. “I never really trusted them and I know curse breakers have to learn occlumency.“ He actually looked kind of ashamed at that.

“My occlumency isn't really that good.“ I almost couldn't hear his mumbling.

“Well preventing your youngest brother from being kidnapped by a crazy dark wizard should give you incentive to learn harder.“ He looked like he agreed.

“Wait how old are you if you're a reincarnation.“ I was simply amazed that he simply accepted it.

I shrugged.

He sighed.

“When you gonna tell me how to apparate.“

He groaned and seemed to consider it for a bit.

“Accio Book“

“This is my apparition textbook, but you need a wand to use it at first.“

“I work for Ollivander now I have access to more wands than you've ever seen.“ He stared blankly, that was something he was doing a lot today.

“Of course you do, why wouldn't Ollivander hire a nine year old, makes sense to me.“ The last part trailed of into incredulousness.

“You want to move in with me?“ Now it was my turn to look at him like he'd just proclaimed his favourite colour of the alphabet was 7.

“I guess you didn't ask before because you weren't sure if you could leave a kid alone for long?“ Bill had just finished his apprenticeship and was working full-time now.

He would be flying to egypt in a week.

Lucky bastard.

“Yeah and now we have an actual excuse, no matter how hard our parents deny it they don't have the money to let you floo to Ollivanders everyday. My apartment is only a 15 min walk away from Diagon.“ Mom could apparate me, but they were wizards, they probably wouldn’t consider that solution,

“Yeah sure i'll move in, but please soundproof your room before that I don't want to hear you doing it.“ That made him blush.

“I guess we can go explain to mum why her youngest son is moving out.“ He stood up dusted himself of and held out his hand to me.

“Please be gentle it's my first time.“ He started sputtering and then I felt like I was being squeezed through a tube.

We were suddenly standing before the burrow and Bill was looking at me expectantly.

“Please, this is nothing compared to the feeling of having your soul forced into a new body, or being born.“

“That's disgusting.“ He didn't stop grimacing until we entered the burrow.

-/-

3 hours later my stuff was shrunk down to a moveable size and I suddenly remembered something.

“Hey Bill a few years ago I found a closed chest in the attic, you wanna go see what's in it?“ Bill's face suddenly matched his hair and he looked like he wanted to be talking about anything else.

He coughed in his hand.

“I was curious as well, so when I learned basic ward breaking I opened it, it was dad's porn.“

Of course it was.