Elegy for a Star

Tess returned to her room only to find Gwen already securing a few items into her nightstand and cabinet. She paused in the doorway for a moment before entering. “Do I need to pack anything?” Tess asked, one hand scratching at the other arm.

“Why?” Gwen asked, looking over at her with a smirk, “It’s your soul going. Not you.”

“Well,” Tess started, narrowing her eyes and looking confused, “How did we bring all of that stuff last time?”

“You bring what you’d expect to bring. It’s really quite helpful. You often don’t know what you have until you realize you need it,” Gwendolyn explained, “How it was taught to me is… say that you have your bag of tricks, alright? You can pull out whatever item you need at the moment—so long as it’s something you’d expect yourself to bring—until it’s empty. Once it’s empty, it’s empty. Not gonna refill with anything else. You can only bring as much as you think you could reasonably carry.”

“That’s fucking weird, Gwendolyn,” Tess replied, scratching her temple.

Gwendolyn nodded her head, agreeing with the sentiment, “Yeah, well… we’re catapulting our souls into a cosmic black splotch in the sky while it eats away at Thyr and we can only stop it by killing off its myriad gods. Did you think it’d be normal?”

Tess pressed her lips together, looking a little flustered that she’d been so thoroughly trounced with that reasoning. “Well…” Tess started, looking around. She never finished the sentence, instead going to sit down on the edge of the bed. Soon, Gwendolyn turned about and joined her, sitting side by side.

“Hey, you okay?” Gwen asked.

Tess nodded a little bit, “Yeah. I mean, I think so. I’m nervous. In a good way?” Tess shook her head and let out a sigh, “Or a bad way. I’m not sure. I’m worried. Nothing bad is going to happen, right?”

“I can’t lie and tell you that, Tess. The Void doesn’t fuck around,” Gwen replied, reaching up and wrapping an arm around Tess’ back in a comforting manner, “But I can tell you that we’ve got a team sharper than Miren’s tongue.”

Tess could only chuckle at that, nodding her head.

“Joyona’s a gods damned powerhouse. She’s unstoppable, Tess. Mairaela’s a terror with those arrows. Fuck, we don’t even know what Miren can do yet, but she’s got to be strong, right?” Gwendolyn rubbed Tess’ back, “You’ve got your magic. I know you can control it better this time.”

“And you’re the best of us all,” Tess responded to Gwen.

Gwendolyn only laughed, “Yeah, well, I think you might be a little biased. I might be good with a sword, but I’m far from the best of us. There are different measures of ‘best.’”

Tess knew what Gwen spoke of. Her behaviors, not her skills. Tess didn’t care about either of it. She knew Gwendolyn’s heart. She knew it was in a good place. She knew it was in a better place without the pressures of knighthood weighing down on her. Hopefully, in the near future, she wouldn’t have familial pressure squeezing her either.

“You’re the best to me,” Tess replied, surprised by her own words. She meant them. She’d been thinking of them. If she ever thought to say them now, she would’ve chickened out. Sometimes it was better to say things without thinking them through.

Gwen turned to look at her, but Tess could only keep her eyes staring dead ahead. “Tess,” Gwen turned back, “I’ve done so many awful things to you.”

“What?” Tess asked, perplexed, “No you haven’t.”

“It’s my fault that you’re in this predicament in the first place.”

“We don’t know that…”

Gwen shook her head, “Then I was cruel to you. I didn’t trust you. I tried to keep you away from the Void when all you wanted to do was help.”

“You had good reason for all of those things.”

“And then I yelled at you,” Gwen replied, “I was so…”

“Stressed?”

Gwendolyn paused. She was likely thinking of another word.

“Gwendolyn, you were stressed out. Pushed to your limit. I don’t take any of that personally and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for it.”

“You can call me Gwen,” she replied.

Tess laughed, “You’ve got to pick one or the other, you know.”

“Gwen,” the silvery woman chuckled, “We’ll stick with Gwen, this time.”

Tess and Gwen shared a bit of a laugh, the mood feeling light and joyful for a time. Eventually, as the laughter died down, the silence of the room took hold, and darker thoughts came to mind.

“We’re going to be okay, right? I mean… it’s just cats,” Tess remarked. Tess slipped to the side and rested her head upon Gwen’s shoulder. The once-knight ran a hand through the blonde’s hair.

Contrary to what she said earlier, Gwen replied, “Yeah. Of course. Everything is going to be okay.”

“Okay,” Tess replied, closing her eyes.

They sat like that for some time, side by side, holding one another. Tess could have fallen asleep like that. Before long, she realized that this was what she’d been hoping for, for quite some time. To care for Gwen and for Gwen to care for her. To be close. To be touched. Not to have some raunchy fling or—not complaining but—be drawn into sex by Miri. She wanted that tenderness and now she was getting it.

“Gwen?”

“Tess?”

Their words were spoken in unison, trying to get the other’s attention. Both stammered their apologies and insisted on the other going first.

“You!”

“No, you, I insist.”

Tess coughed and lied, “I.. forgot what I was going to say!”

Gwen stared at her with utter disbelief on her face. With a smirk she spoke softly, “Before we go, I had something to say…”

Tess leaned in, whispering, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?” Tess asked, soft as a mouse.

Gwen turned to her and replied in a hushed voice, “I just wanted to say…”

“Yeah?” Tess asked, turning up and looking at her.

“That…” Gwen paused.

“Gwen?”

“Yes, Tess?”

Tess leaned in and Gwen didn’t waste a second.

Silver and gold embraced, drawing one another into a gentle kiss.