Elegy for a Star

“You mean I’ve been making out with Krahe all this time? The Krahe?” Gwen asked, equal parts surprised and excited. Tess had returned from the outdoors, shivering as she doffed her cloak and cold clothing. She and Gwendolyn now cuddled beneath the blanket, stripped down to their underclothes, for warmth and comfort.

Tess shook her head firmly, “No, you’ve been making out with me. I’m not Krahe. I’m just me. Besides, Krahe was Miri and I together, and-... I’m just not that person anymore, anyway!”

“What, you and Miri like… fuse together, or something?” Gwen chuckled with a good humored expression, her face buried against the back of Tess’ neck.

“No, I think it’s just-... just when she’s in my head, you know?” Tess tapped her temple, “But I was different back then. I don’t remember things anymore, but apparently that was a part of our plan.”

Gwen’s voice soured a little, “What plan?”

“I don’t know, Miri said that she and I decided to do this, to remove my memories,” Tess shook her head, “I told Miri I need a minute to process all of this. I wanted to hear more, but it was just so much. And I’m so angry at her.” Tess shook her head in disbelief, “I don’t want to believe her. She’s lied before. She’s lied so many times. I just can’t understand why she’d lie now though, so I have to assume she’s telling the truth.”

Gwen took a deep breath of Tess’ hair. She smelled like jasmine. How does she keep such good care of her hair under these conditions? She gave her a peck of a kiss on the back of the head, “It doesn’t change anything. You’re you. I like you. That’s it.”

“Thanks,” Tess replied. From the tone, it didn't seem like her words helped all that much.

Gwen hugged Tess about the midsection, giving her a comforting squeeze, “I know that this is hard, but we’ll get through it. Besides, you wanted to be special. To be useful in the Void. It doesn’t get much more useful than this, does it?” Gwen buried her face in Tess’ hair, breathing deeply.

“You’re right,” Tess nodded, turning her head to just barely peek at Gwen out of the corner of her eye, “Are you sniffing my hair?”

“You smell nice,” Gwen replied with a little chuckle.

Tess joined in the laughter, “Weirdo.” The blonde took a deep breath, “Then there was this woman that showed up. She had fox ears. Little markings on her cheeks. She said her name was Yna.”

“You’re fucking with me now,” Gwen said, smirking once again.

Tess shook her head, “No, why do you say that?”

“Goddess of Trickery, Tess.” Was she actually telling the truth? She hadn’t talked to Tess about the Pantheon much, and she only recently learned about the moons. Did she know about Yna or not? Tess wouldn’t joke for more than a couple seconds though.

“She said she wasn’t actually a goddess,” Tess corrected.

Gwen raised a brow, “Pretty sure she is.” She shrugged, “Might as well be, in any case. People pray to her to keep their secrets.”

“She doesn’t seem like the ‘keep your secrets’ sort,” Tess said with a thoughtful glance toward the headboard, “She was a bit goofy.”

“Oh, shit, is that the fox you met? The fox coins on your gloves?” Gwen asked, feeling a “eureka” moment as she asked the question, “Did she give you a fucking gift back then?”

“Yeah, think so,” Tess said with a soft nod, “That’s what she said. Said she was the one to teach Krahe how to fight, too. Said I was her ‘favorite human.’”

“That’s only ‘cause she hasn’t met Joyona,” Gwen mused with a little smirk.

Tess laughed and nodded her head, “I love our big giantess.”

“Me too,” Gwen said, her voice softening, “I’m glad she’s okay.”

“Joyona’s probably too honest and straightforward for a trickster goddess, though,” Tess replied, “But I don’t think I’m much of a liar, and she likes me.”

“Well, does she like you or does she like Krahe, because Krahe is you and Miri. Miri seems to lie enough for ten people, let alone two,” Gwen responded with a little frown, “You’re right that you and Krahe are very different, even from what I’ve heard. You’re, like… all of the good parts. The heroic parts.”

She could tell Tess was smiling. It warmed Gwen’s heart to know she could make the woman happy. Her heart was fluttering. For a moment, it dawned on Gwen that this might be considerably more than simply liking one another. Now wasn’t the time, though. Both of them had enough going on. Maybe it was something to bring up later, though. She was pretty sure that Tess felt the same way toward her.

Gwen was relieved to feel like this relationship was just easy and natural. It wasn’t a struggle. It wasn’t dramatic. It was simple and sweet and comfortable.

After a bit of a pause—a silence in which the two women could simply enjoy one another’s company and the pleasure of physical touch—Tess whispered, “Do you mind if we change subjects?”

“Of course not,” Gwen replied, giving Tess a little kiss on the bare shoulder and pulling the blanket up over them a little more, “What do you want to talk about?”

“How about the Corpsman’s Ball? What is it like?”

“Beats me,” Gwen replied, “It’s my first one, too.”

“What do you think it’ll be like? Do I need a dress or is there some uniform, or something?” Tess asked softly. The preference of a dress was clear in her tone.

Gwen answered confidently, “The Captain said we can wear whatever we like, so long as it’s appropriate for a high class gathering. Dresses or surcoats and cotehardie, you know? If you don’t have anything, you’re supposed to wear the dress uniform. It’s basically the same thing, anyway. Did you get the pants or the skirt?”

“The skirt,” Tess replied, “More comfortable with the-...”

“Right,” Gwen caught her with a little laugh, “The giant dick of yours.”

“Yes,” Tess gave a little giggle, “That’s the one.”

Gwen’s hand slid up Tess’ tummy until she felt the swell of a breast filling her hand. She cupped Tess’ breast, stroking a thumb over the nipple.

“Horny?” Tess asked.

“Mmhm,” Gwen replied, “Want to finish what we started earlier? I don’t think I’m so nervous anymore.”

“Me neither,” Tess replied, arching her back and pressing her chest into Gwen’s palm, “But I think we should wait.”

The excitement building up in Gwen’s chest drained like a stonekin wine barrel, “Oh. Did I do something?”

“No!” Tess replied, rolling over to face Gwen, “No, of course not. What we did was amazing, and what we’ll do will be even more amazing.”

This brought some relief to Gwen, but she still had some lingering worry.

Thankfully, Tess continued, “But I want it to be special. We’ve fooled around obviously, but we’ve never had sex. Like… sex sex.”

“Right,” Gwen nodded, beginning to understand where Tess was going with this.

“How about the night of the Ball?” Tess asked with a soft smile, “Is that okay?”

Truth be told, Gwendolyn loved the idea, even if it meant her latest flare of arousal may go unattended tonight. “Yeah,” she replied with an equally kind smile, “I’d like that a lot. You're special to me.”

The acceptance brought a big smile to Tess’ face. That fluttering in Gwen’s heart built again. “I made her happy,” she thought with growing joy, “And it was so easy for me. So effortless. Does that mean we’re good together?”

“I’m excited to go with you,” Tess said softly.

Gwen embraced Tess tightly, “I’m excited to go with you too. Do you think Mairaela and Joyona will go together?”

“I think so,” Tess replied, “Do you think Miren will go with someone?”

“Who’d go with her?” Gwen said, putting some venom in her voice.

“We should work on forgiving her,” Tess replied softly.

Gwen ground her teeth a little, countering, “I don’t know how to forgive a murderer, Tess.”

“I want to find a way,” Tess responded, “You don’t have to; I know that.” She let out a little sigh and said, “But I want to. If I made a mistake like that…”

“You wouldn’t, though,” Gwen huffed sternly, “That’s the difference.”

Tess bit her lip in thought, but didn’t come back with anything. Instead, she just nodded.

Perhaps it was that submission that made Gwen start to think that she was wrong.