Elegy for a Star

Gwen had already returned from her Trial. Apparently all that she had to do was relive some trauma. She was glad to be done. Glad to have finished revisiting all that she needed to. Thanks for the agony, Wydwen. Real kind of you.

Why did she not remember what her mother did to her until that moment though? All she remembered was her mother leaving to become a Valkyrie. She had missed her terribly. She struggled with the fact that she hadn’t seen her in upwards of 17 years. She loved her mother. Or at least she thought she did. Whoever that woman in the Trial was, though? Gwen wanted to beat her into the dirt.

But it made some sense. That was when her father’s behavior changed; when her mother left. She didn’t understand all of the details, but some of the pieces were beginning to come together. Part of her was glad to have killed her father’s mimic in her second Trial. She almost felt like she was putting him out of his misery. If only her real father, the one back on Auwra, could find peace, whether in death or through reconciliation with his children.

A portal of bright light opened off to the side. Gwen’s heart filled with excitement that it was Joyona that was stepping into the tower. Gods, she’d hug that woman to death if she could. Well, hopefully not to death.

Instead, it was Mairaela and Miren. Gwen was grateful that they were back, but there was a pang of disappointment. She still couldn’t believe that Joyona was gone.

Mairaela was carrying something, though. A light. A golden light. A lost soul.

Joyona was dead and trapped in her second Trial. With Miren and Mairaela here, Tess was the only other party member unaccounted for. It couldn't be.

“No!” Gwen screamed, rising to her feet and rushing to Mairaela, “It can’t be, it isn’t-... Tess, oh my gods, Tess!”

“It isn’t Tess,” Mairaela snapped, “It’s Joy.”

Gwendolyn was relieved and devastated all at once. So it was true. Joyona was dead. Gods, it was confirmed now. There was no way that some portal would open later on and she’d see the giant stepping through. “I got lost,” the Evigkin would say. Gwendolyn was near to tears at the thought.

“We need to talk,” Mairaela said, sitting down upon the ground—or ceiling, depending on your view of the upside down tower—and gesturing for Gwen to do the same. Miren took a seat on her own until the three were forming a triangle of sorts. Mairaela kept Joyona’s lost soul in her lap, holding it close like a fragile, little bird.

“Miren is going to tell you something,” Mairaela said softly, slowly, letting Gwendolyn take in every word, “But first, I need you to promise that you’ll stay sitting and not hurt anyone.”

Gwen had a feeling of anxiety creeping up in her chest. What could Mairaela want to tell her that she would have such a reaction to. “I already know what the lost soul means, Mairaela,” Gwendolyn said sadly, “Believe me, I want to break something, but I’m going to remain professional while we’re here, in danger.”

Mairaela shook her head, “No, it’s something else. But I need you to promise.”

“Of course,” Gwen said, nodding her head, “I promise, Mairaela. I won’t get up or hurt anyone.”

"You're going to be angry," Mairaela explained, "I was too. I still am. Un-... unspeakably so. But I need you to hold that back until everything is told."

Gwendolyn nodded her understanding, "Okay. I promise."

Mairaela looked over to Miren, prompting her that it was her turn to speak.

“I want to explain myself, and the reasoning,” the Winter Fey started, “But there is no reasoning that could make this okay, so I’ll just skip to it.”

Gwendolyn leaned in, listening closely.

Miren spoke softly, “I killed Joyona.”

Eyes widening, Gwendolyn stared at Miren.

“I know, Gwen, I was the same way. I didn’t believe it at fir-...”

Gwendolyn leapt to her feet and tackled the Winter Fey to the ground, “You fucking bitch!” Fists rained down on the white-haired Fey, who mitigated a few to glancing blows, or blocked others, but there were some hits that caught her dead on. “I’ll fucking kill you!” Gwendolyn screamed.

Mairaela shouted something, but Gwendolyn wasn’t listening. She eventually felt someone pulling her fist back, but the knight was able to overpower it, punching despite the restraining hold. It definitely took some of the fury out of her strikes, though. The once-knight was seeing red.

“Gwendolyn, you promised!” Mairaela shouted, trying to hold back Gwendolyn’s arm with her free hand.

She was right. Gwen had promised. Maybe it would've held a bit better if she was still a knight, or maybe this was just confirmation that she never was. Gwen looked down, seeing Miren’s bloody lip and split eyebrow. She was bleeding on the right side of her hairline. She didn’t feel remorseful though. Miren deserved worse. Besides, it wasn't anything that wouldn't heal just fine, even if it was her actual physical body..

She stood, climbing off of Miren. She stood over her for a moment, suppressing the urge to hit her again. A fucking murderer. A traitor. She turned against them and killed her ally? Why? Why the fuck would she do that?

Miren covered her face with her hands, trying to recover. Gwen felt sick. She couldn't stand to look at the woman without wanting to throttle her. Instead, she elected to go and lean her shoulder against the wall.

Mairaela let Miren be, also not showing her any pity for her new wounds, and stood to her feet. She walked toward Gwen and leaned upon the same wall, facing her.

“Why the fuck is she alive?” Gwen whispered through her teeth, “Why didn’t you kill her? You’re just walking back from the Trial like you’re best buds now?”

Mairaela looked upset, holding Joyona close to her chest. "I wanted to," Mairaela explained quietly, "I still want to. I want-..." The Summer Fey had to take a deep breath. "She's fucked in the head, Gwen. She's been screwed over by her family. By her people. That's putting it lightly, even."

"It's no excuse," Gwen replied.

Mairaela instantly added, "And she knows that." The Summer Fey leaned in and was especially quiet for this next part, "After your fight during the Week of Conflict, you attacked Admaris."

"I didn't kill him, Mai," Gwen replied defensively, "Pretty big difference."

"But," Mairaela said with a wince, "If you had a real sword instead of a fake, wooden one... would you have?"

Gwen had that same thought go through her mind during the weeks she was under confinement. Yes. Yes, she would have. If there'd been a lethal weapon in her hand she would've killed Admaris without the blink of an eye, at least until it was done and the anger abated.

It must've shown on her face, because Mairaela continued, "Because you were fucked in the head. Also because of your family."

"That was-..." Gwen wracked her mind to find a difference. Eventually, she stumbled upon one, "That was emotional, you know? Spur of the moment? Was it like that for her?"

Mairaela shook her head, "I don't think so."

Gwen stared at her, expecting the point to hit home on its own merit.

"I know," Mariaeala said with a sigh, "It's-... I am just trying to justify not killing her. I just know it isn’t right, executing someone like that. Besides, none of us blame you for what you did. For what you might have done, because you're our friend and we know you." She bit her lip, looking around, "Is this situation really so different that we go from 'no blame at all' to 'she needs to be executed?'"

"That is such a stretch," Gwen replied with a shake of her head, "You were closest to Joyona out of all of us. You should be angriest. Why are you doing this?”

“I couldn’t,” she told Gwen, “And you won’t either. None of us will.”

“When did you become such a priestess? Find your fangs, Mairaela, we need to avenge Joyona.”

Mairaela’s brow furrowed in anger and she replied to Gwen in a serious tone, “It isn't about what we want or what we need. It's about what Joyona would want, and you know she wouldn't want that.”

That was without a doubt the truth. A Dark Wyrden was to be killed on sight. They were actively dealing death by just casting spells. But a traitor? Tried and judged. Killing was an option if they were still a threat, Gwen was sure, but if they could bring her back, then they should. That's what Joyona would want.

“We can’t just carry on like it never happened,” Gwendolyn replied, “She has to pay.”

Mairaela nodded her head, “We’ll turn her in once we get back.”

Miren collected herself, getting back into a sitting position. She touched her lip, fingers coming away with blood. She didn’t seem to show Gwendolyn any anger. This was a good thing, because Gwendolyn would’ve beat her even bloodier if Miren thought for a second that the blood spilled was done so without proper cause.

“You try anything,” Gwendolyn said toward Miren, “And you’re fucking dead, got it?”

“Yeah,” Miren nodded her head, sucking the blood from her lip, “I’ve got it.” The Winter Fey looked to Mairaela and said, "See what I mean? All she needed was an excuse."

"What does she mean?" Gwen whispered back to Mairaela.

Mairaela let out a sigh, "She was proving a point that none of us are her friends, and I can't really argue with that. I hated her just for where she came from. Maybe you do, too. Or maybe you're piggybacking off of the way I feel. Joyona was ambivalent as always and Tess-... I don't know about Tess. She kind of accepts anyone."

Gwen found it hard to pity her. She was a villain, it was as plain as that.

Wasn’t it?

“How long have you been back?” Mairaela asked her, distracting her from the anger.

Gwen looked back at her, “I don’t know. Not long. Fifteen minutes?”

“What do you think Tess’ Trial is?” Mairaela pondered aloud.

Gwen let out a sigh, “Knowing her past Trials, there’s probably a hundred hot ladies taking turns riding her."

“Yeah,” Mairaela replied with a sad tone, “I’m just glad someone isn’t having a terrible time.”