Dungeons Are Bad Business

Setting down the ectoplasmic helmet that he’d been working on, Vee decided to go ahead and take a little break until Kai and Dandelion arrived with the ghost slimes. It wasn’t the most efficient use of his time, he knew, but he didn’t mind. A few “wasted” minutes here and there was far better than coming down with a nasty case of Burn Out. After all, Vee had no interest in spending the next weeks – or maybe even months – stuck in a sea of apathetic thoughts that prevented him from doing anything productive.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to wait long. The distinctive sound of Kai’s barkbody footsteps approached the door, and the treant’s voice rang out.

“Oy, Vee! Care to come give us a hand? This thing is heavy!”

Slightly bemused by the treant’s choice of words, Vee made his way over to the door and opened it up. Kai and Dandelion were outside, cooperatively carrying a large, “rustically” constructed box that was bigger than either of them. Tufts of warding hedges had been stuffed into the gaps between the boards, but even their presence didn’t stop the wibbles and wobbles of the box’s lid now and then.

Kai stepped into the workshop, his barkbody scraping Vee’s shoulder as he passed. “Sorry, gotta get this thing down as quickly as possible.”

They dropped the box onto the floor, and Dandelion let out a small, relieved sigh. Kai straightened back up, and his barkbody’s amber eyes glowed for a moment as the treant separated himself from the walking suit’s clutches and hopped out on top, giving Vee a better look at his [Menagerie Caretaker].

Kai’s branches were covered in tiny green buds, and the flowers he’d worn on his shoulders – which had turned gray during the last bit of the winter months – had vanished. Now and then, a tiny green mote flittered between his branches, disappearing into the wood only to reemerge a few seconds later.

“I hope you really need ghost slimes,” Kai trilled proudly. “We brought a ton of them!”

Vee nodded and walked over to the box. “I can see that. How’d you guys get so many of them?”

He pried the lid off the box and found himself looking at a veritable sea of milk-white and luminescent green slimes. They differed greatly in size, ranging from as small as the [Ghost Maestro]’s pinky to bigger than his thigh.

“Dandelion figured it out,” Kai said proudly. “Go ahead, friend. Tell Vee what you did!”

The fiend – who was starting to look a little…stickish, Vee thought – hemmed and hawed for a moment before it straightened up and looked Vee in the eye. There was a new green sheen there that was unmistakable, and for a moment Vee felt like a kid flopping around the maple leaves in fall. He shook his head, dismissing the bizarre sensation.

“Kai planted the seed of the idea. Dandelion simply followed and applied the thought.”

“That’s not telling him anything,” Kai said, reaching over and giving his apprentice a friendly swat. “Give him details, Dan! Details!”

The fiend’s head dropped and it murmured something Vee couldn’t hear. Kai repeated the swat – a bit more forcefully this time – and Dandelion looked up once again.

“Slimes can’t digest warding shrooms,” it said slowly. “Chopped some old ones up real fine and added to ectoplasm mix. Eventually mushroom build up causes slimes to split.”

Vee whistled softly. That was quite the discovery! “Does it work on the normal slimes too?”

Kai shook his branches. “I’m afraid not. I think the ectoplasm causes slimes to eat differently than they normally do, which is why the ghost slimes don’t notice. The amount of time it takes for the split to occur varies too, but we can better control the amount of ghost slimes we have at any given time now.”

“Excellent,” Vee said. “If this little experiment works I’m probably going to need a lot more of them in the near future.”

“That’s fine. We have plenty of warding shrooms.”

While Dandelion and Kai waited, Vee selected a slime that was roughly the size of his palm and took it over to one of his helmet ghost prototypes. He squished the creature into place, then activated [Zipper Fingers] to fasten it there. The skill worked reasonably smoothly, though the [Ghost Maestro] had to fiddle with the initial connection between the slime and the helmet.

When he was done, Vee set the helmet down on the table and waited. A few seconds later, it floated up into the air, bobbing back and forth as the slime inside moved naturally. It was a little slower than Vee wanted it to be, but with the initial lift problem solved, Vee was increasingly confident that he could get the ghost to zip around the way he imagined it to.

He turned back to Kai. “How’s your verdant construction stuff going?”

The bonsai treant shrugged. “Pretty well on the whole. Actually, now that you’ve brought it up, I wanted to ask you about something related to it.”

Vee raised an eyebrow, but stayed silent so that his [Menagerie Caretaker] could continue.

“Would you mind if I took Dandelion out to the groves with me? There are a few things out there that I think would help with my lessons and make the menagerie work better too. We should be back in a day or two.”

“Is there any risk of minions causing trouble with you gone?”

Kai shook his branches. “I don’t think so. The skeletons have all been much calmer since that [Necromancer] came and sorted them out. He also gave me a few brushes and other little tools that I can use to make sure that unlife doesn’t build up in their cores again, since he said that was probably a contributing factor.”

“Got it. In that case, go ahead. I don’t see why that’d be a problem,” Vee said. “Out of curiosity though, what sort of things do you need to grab from the grove?”

“Oh, you know. Mostly tools, but I’ve also been wanting a few other warding growth specimens and a couple other plants that I haven’t been able to find anywhere in the city. I’m hoping to get some maintenance on my barkbody too. It’ll be a pretty boring visit, all things considered.”

A faint chime sounded in the back of Vee’s head - a proc of [Detect Falsehood] – but he didn’t find it particularly worrisome. He trusted Kai, but still tilted his head to the side and said, “Is that really all? Couldn’t you just send a letter asking for those things?”

The question hung awkwardly in the air for a few seconds, with Kai opening and closing his mouth like a fish in a fish tank.

It was Dandelion who broke the silence. “Asked Kai to take me. Want to question grove elders about Green Spirit matters. Apologies, should have asked Master first.”

Vee regretted that he’d already done the eyebrow raising thing, because this would have been a perfect time for it. Instead, he said, “Is that so? Tell me more.”

The fiend straightened up and the green sheen in its eyes grew stronger for a moment. “My Green Spirit wants to take new shape. Kai says elders provide guidance on such things.”

Vee looked over at Kai, silently inviting the treant to speak up.

“It’s…hard to explain. Technically we’re not supposed to mention such things to an outsider,” Kai said apologetically. “There’s…a whole bunch of rituals and stuff that most treants go through as they grow older and stronger that help them serve the grove. Dandelion isn’t a treant, so I’m not sure the rituals would be usable, but the elders would know best about how to guide Dandelion’s future growth. Is that…okay?”

Biting his lip, Vee thought the matter over. It rankled him that Kai hadn’t mentioned this until called out on it, but he supposed he could understand the treant’s reticence. He didn’t know much about the ways of treants, and couldn’t expect them to adhere to his preferences. It wasn’t a small matter by any means, but again, he trusted Kai and didn’t think the treant harbored any sort of ill will or intent.

[Patience +1]

He shook his head and sighed. There was nothing to be gained by naysaying the excursion, but he’d have to reassert his position to make sure that something similar didn’t happen again.

“Fine. Do what you think is best, Kai, but in the future I expect to be made aware of things like this. You might be Dandelion’s teacher, but Dandelion is a member of my orchestra. Don’t go forgetting that, okay?”

“Of course, of course,” Kai said, visibly relaxing. “Sorry, Vee. I really should have brought it up.”

Waving his hand, the [Ghost Maestro] signaled that he considered the matter settled for the moment, and returned to his work on the helmet ghosts.

Finishing his second spin, Alforde brought Slammy up as quickly as he could, only to find that Shadowforde’s hammer was already there and waiting.

“The timing is still off. You need to be quicker,” his Reflection said. “Instead of a powerful strike landing in two places at once, this will only be a delayed combination attack between us. I doubt we’ll get the results you want with such a tactic.”

“I know, I know,” Alforde said glumly as he relaxed his body and let his weapon fall toward the platform below. “Is there any chance you can move slower? I’m not sure I can make myself go any faster than that.”

The Reflection regarded him warily for a moment, then mimicked Alforde’s own pauldron shrug. “Such a thing is possible, I suppose, though the efficacy of our attack will be more potent at my speed.”

“The shadow is right,” Reginald piped up from where he was sitting. The hat had been offering advice and suggestions while Alforde and Shadowforde worked on their new attack, and while many of them had been the generic platitudes of someone who didn’t fight often, some of them had been useful. “You should always keep improving your speed. Sacha had a series of techniques for that, I think. Here, let me show you something. [Project Recollection]!”

Mist flowed out from beneath the hat’s brim, and a tiny silvery figure appeared on the stage. Alforde recognized Sacha’s silhouette, and paid close attention as the projection started to…dance?

“Sacha always insisted that ballet was the best way to improve movement,” Reginald said with a wide, mischievous grin. “What do you say, big guy? Think we should ask the boss to find you a dancing mentor? I’m sure there’s someone in town who can provide you with some lessons, eh?”

Alforde watched the projection spin and leap through the air. “Not enough time before the circuit starts,” he said. “But maybe afterwards. For now, I’ll just have to try even harder. Let’s go again, Shadowforde.”

Getting his weapon into position once more, Alforde did his best to empty his mind of all thoughts that weren’t Spin As Fast As Possible and threw himself into the motion. He was still too slow, but felt the familiar tightness in his plates that indicated a new skill was right around the corner.

He just had to persevere in getting it to manifest properly. A notification popped up beside his helmet.

[Remaining focused in the face of distractions is a potent ability.]

[You can now earn points in Single-Mindedness!]

[Single-Mindedness +1]

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 32

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 23

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 15

Wit: 39

Faith: 26

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 16

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 16

Devious Mind: 28

Leadership: 21

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 11

Citizenship: 23

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 6

Persuasiveness: 6

Bargaining: 4

Patience: 3 (+1)

Competitive Spirit: 1

Pragmatism: 1

<3<3 Infatuation <3<3

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Specialist (Self), Level 6

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 18

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 11

Might: 58

Wit: 15

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 32

Intimidating Presence: 15

Heart of a Champion: 14

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Vigilance: 11

Vanity: 2

Single-Mindedness: 1 (+1)

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

#$&Q#$)(@#$#@#$%!@#$##%#%()@#$**@@##

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 43 (+1)

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 20

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 13

Additional Class: Hyperthymesiac (Self), Level 5

Might: 1

Wit: 37

Faith: 18

Ambition: 28

Greed: 24

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 42

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 11

Irritability: 24

Remorsefulness: 17

Expository Prowess: 23

#%$Pragmatism*#$: @#61$5

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

#4^5#*&_!+++#(@$#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 9