Dungeons Are Bad Business

Vee crouched down in front of Dheart, scowling at the mess of buttons, switches, and dials that adorned the dungeon heart’s top and sides. He’d once had a manual that detailed all of them, but, like most people with a new purchase, Past Vee had set it aside without even so much as a cursory read through, and then promptly discarded it. Now he was left with a series of things he’d never used, let alone understood, and as the scratched, singed, and lightly bleeding skin on his arms and right cheek could attest to, some of them were dangerous.

The [Dungeon Master] couldn’t fathom why in Gawain’s name the dungeon heart had been built with traps that attacked anyone who pressed its buttons, but that was a matter for another time. For now, he had to do his best to find the button that would let him pour the agua magia into Dheart so that it could be absorbed by Reginald’s core, while also minimizing his injuries.

“I’m telling you, boss, it’s the big yellow one on top there,” his hat said, gesturing with one of his tiny spirit arms. “Trust me.”

“But there’s no way for you to know that for sure,” Vee insisted. Sure, the button his [Majordomo] was pointing at looked safe, but so had Reginald’s first three suggestions, and all of them had turned out bad. He winced, looking “And if it’s another steam vent or set of shadow claws, you’re not the one who’s going to suffer the consequences.”

“But you can’t just sit here staring at them forever either,” Reginald said. “Eventually you’re going to have to pick one, right?”

That was true, but Vee didn’t bother answering. He looked at the buttons carefully, wishing that they had markings or icons that would give him a hint as to their purpose. Nothing stood out, and so with a resigned sigh, he moved as far away from the button as he could, turned his body to the side, and pressed the button.

There was a clunk, and a panel opened on Dheart’s side. Through the chute that was now visible, the [Dungeon Master] could see the familiar glow of Reginald’s core. The [Core Spirit] made a gleeful sound that promised plenty of future bragging, and Vee scowled.

“You were bound to get lucky eventually,” he said quickly to head off any imminent crowing. “Now how much of this stuff should I go ahead and pour in?”

“Just a little bit to start. It’s been a long time since my core has had access to anything so potent, and the absorption process is going to be slow. Aqua magia evaporates quickly in open air, and we don’t want to waste even a drop.”

Vee nodded. “And you’re sure that this won’t cause anything bad to happen?”

“Of course I’m sure. Now get pouring, boss!”

Still feeling somewhat apprehensive, Vee opened the bottle and held it over the chute. He tipped it forward just enough to let a small trickle of the shimmering liquid escape, then drew the vial away and closed it once again at Reginald’s command.

The aqua magia bubbled and frothed when it made contact with Reginald’s core, but Vee didn’t get to see much beyond that as Dheart’s chamber sealed itself shut.

“I’ll let you know when to add more,” Reginald said as Vee stood up and walked over to his console. “Let’s go ahead and get the dungeon ready for the day’s first runs, eh?”

Vee nodded and sat down. For the next few minutes, he checked his handful of traps, making sure that they were ready to go, and reorganized a few of his monster packs. The skeletons had caused some trouble the day before, attacking their allies as ferociously as their enemies, so he separated them out into their own tiny chambers to make sure that they didn’t get into any mischief before or during runs.

When he was satisfied that things would work the way they were supposed to, he gave his [Majordomo] the signal to go ahead and leaned back.

He hoped that the aqua magia would help Reginald regain his levels quickly; he missed the full array of traps, platforms, and other dungeon elements that he normally had, and yearned for their return. If that could happen before the circuit was scheduled to start, all the better, but he’d make do if it didn’t.

The day’s first adventurer stepped inside, brandishing her wand like a sword and looking like she was ready to swing it at a moment’s notice. Vee hadn’t ever seen her inside the dungeon before, and when he looked down at her application, he saw that in addition to being a level 33 [Kinetic Blaster], her so-called ‘home branch’ of the adventurer’s guild was in Old Narluc. Their strange icon – which looked like an octopus wrapping its tentacles around a ship or something – made him uneasy, and he thought he heard the faintest hint of a whisper after a few seconds of staring at it.

Curiosity prompted him to look through the rest of the challenge applications, and he saw that in addition to Old Narluc, there were also challengers from Shontsdale, Amespool, and Yew’s Rise. All of them were over level 30 in their primary class, which meant that they shouldn’t have any problems making it down to Alforde, especially since Crestheart wasn’t currently at full strength.

He pointed down to the papers, and got Reginald’s attention. “What do you make of this?”

The hat looked over the applications carefully, his mouth curling into a frown. “I’m not sure, boss. They’re probably just sending adventurers to scout us out in order to get an idea of how hard the dungeon is before the circuit starts.”

Vee’s Devious Mind – or perhaps just some good old fashioned paranoia – prompted him to ask, “Do you think there’s any chance they’re here for nefarious purposes? Sabotaging us or something?”

“I suppose it’s technically possible, but isn’t very likely,” Reginald answered. “They don’t really stand to gain anything by causing trouble. After all, we’re the first dungeon in the circuit. If we end up looking like a joke, most of the fairweather dungeon sport watchers who might be interested in the circuit will write the whole thing off as a bunch of amateurs. It’d make more sense for them to add some extra surprises we can’t account for to give us a better chance of stopping challengers if anything.”

He paused, then ruffled his brim. “With that said though, we should probably keep a close eye on them all the same, eh?”

“Yeah,” Vee said, leaning forward in his chair and watching the viewing crystal intently. “Let’s do that.”

The [Kinetic Blaster] sent blue-white tendrils of energy toward the first set of ghosts that assailed her, turning them into scraps of ectoplasm almost instantly. She was quick, precise, and completely methodical in her approach as she swept from one room to the next; this definitely wasn’t her first dungeon. Her gait revealed no obvious weaknesses, just dutiful determination, and Vee drummed his fingers against the armrest of his chair as he tried to think of something that would cause her trouble during her run.

He scowled when she dodged every monster attack with ease, using the open space in each room to control the engagement from start to finish. Were the rooms simply too big? It was an aspect of dungeon building he hadn’t given much thought to before, but maybe that’d been a mistake.

Other competent adventurers had come through Crestheart before, but they were rare enough that Vee still felt like he was seeing one for the first time, and he was still too inexperienced as a [Dungeon Master] to have a standard plan of action for challengers who were too strong.

Was this what all the adventurers with the circuit would be like? Vee hoped not, or he’d need to rethink his minions and traps again before it started. While the limited offering worked decently against the people who came to Crestheart on a regular basis, the [Dungeon Master] was worried that all the challengers would simply blow their way through them like the [Kinetic Blaster] was doing now. Juggling the available power would be a pain, but hopefully Reginald would be able to regain enough levels to let him turn some of the bigger traps back on.

HIs apprehension grew when she made it to Mister Chills and defeated the ghost snowman with no more than a few flicks of her wand.

She traversed the third floor with ease, leaping over the gaps and pitfalls that were still active like a toddler jumping over a mud puddle, and veritably strutted down the steps to Alforde’s arena before Vee got the chance to warn his friend of an impending challenge.

Alforde straightened up and hoisted Slammy onto his pauldron when the doors opened up and a woman carrying a wand walked inside. He flexed his plates, making sure that everything was moving as it was supposed to, and greeted his approaching challenger.

“I assume you know the rules regarding champion bouts?”

“Of course,” the woman snapped. “I’ve challenged twenty different [Dungeon Champions], and bested sixteen of them!”

“Good,” Alforde said, tossing her the ssb and waiting for her to take it. “I’ve been itching for a decent challenge. Show me what you’ve got. [Chilling Tempest]!”

Ice and howling winds filled the arena, and the battle began. The adventurer leapt forward, the tip of her wand glowing, and Alforde activated [Unstoppable Charge] to meet it.

The challenger went flying, and Alforde felt a twinge of disappointment.

Maybe he hadn’t needed the domain after all. He’d have to be more judicious in the future.

“Well, that’s one less thing to worry about,” Vee sighed as Alforde knocked the woman out of the stage for the fourth time in less than two minutes. “It’s a good thing we have Alforde.”

Back on the earlier floors, the [Dungeon Maintainers] were hard at work resetting their rooms and getting Crestheart ready for the next run. Though it wasn’t technically proper, Vee decided to go ahead and test his newest hypothesis, tweaking the dungeon a little bit by shrinking the rooms with the help of [Walking Walls].

“What are you doing, boss?”

“Seeing if this boosts the combat effectiveness of our minions,” Vee answered. An unintended side effect of his efforts was quickly becoming apparent, though: there was a glut of empty and unused space toward the end of each floor, and Vee hurried to think of something he could use to fill the space. Dropping a bunch of minions inside and turning them into brawl rooms was definitely an option, but it was an unsatisfying one. Vee wanted to do something better, but he’d have to test a few options for what might be best after the day’s challenges were done.

Vee conveyed his wishes to the [Dungeon Maintainers], telling them to start bringing up slimes, elementals, and ghosts to fill the new rooms. This reset had already taken longer than it should have, and he was eager to get the next run going.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales (Unchanged from last chapter):

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 30

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 23

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 15

Wit: 36

Faith: 25

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 15

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 15

Devious Mind: 24

Leadership: 19

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 22

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 4

Persuasiveness: 5

Bargaining: 2

Patience: 1

Competitive Spirit: 1

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Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Specialist (Self), Level 5

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 10

Might: 55

Wit: 14

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 29

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 14 (+1) [Deferred due to [Fair Fight]]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 9

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ?? (+2)

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Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 41

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 19

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 11 (+1)

Additional Class: Hyperthymesiac (Self), Level 5

Might: 1

Wit: 37

Faith: 17

Ambition: 28

Greed: 24

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 41

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 47

Patience: 10 (+1)

Irritability: 22

Remorsefulness: 17

Expository Prowess: 23

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Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8