Dungeons Are Bad Business

A mud golem on all fours ran down an alley with Alforde hot on its heels. Vee – and by extension, Reginald – were a good distance behind, a fact that the [Dungeon Master] blamed on his burning legs.

There was a wall at the far end of the alley, but unlike some of the mud golems they’d chased so far that night, this one didn’t try and climb it to escape. Instead, it turned around and made a sound that was probably supposed to be a growl, but came across more as a series of blurbles.

Alforde didn’t slow down, slamming himself into the golem with all his strength and bringing Slammy up into its stomach. “Vee, cage!”

Panting for breath and cursing his thighs, Vee skidded to a stop and raised his hands. Thankfully, he’d gotten plenty of practice with making the cages that night – he’d long since lost track of how many golems they’d caught - so he was able to whip one together fairly quickly.

Alforde maneuvered the golem inside so Vee could seal it away, and the gate closed with a loud thud. The [Ghost Maestro] decided to take a few moments to catch his breath before shrinking the cage down, partly because he was tired and also partly because his pockets were filled to bursting and he wasn’t sure where he’d be able to fit the newest golem. Should they not deactivate the way Vee expected them too, he’d definitely be able to throw a bunch into the dungeon for the next few weeks and get some value out of them, though he’d have to make sure that they couldn’t escape or violate their floor orders.

He chuckled quietly as he sat down and leaned back against the nearest wall. “I can’t believe I’m thinking about the dungeon right now.”

His stomach rumbled loudly.

“Beats whining about how hungry you are,” Reginald answered. “That said, I’m pretty sure it’s past midnight now, so we can probably go ahead and call it if you want. The fact that there are still so many golems out and about means that Luna and Holly haven’t been able to catch the [Golemancer] yet. I’m not sure how worth it is for us to stay out hunting any longer.”

“I don’t mind going after a few more,” Alforde said. “We’re getting better at catching them and each one we snag means that there’s less chances for property damage.”

“You’re right,” Vee said, sighing. He stood back up and knocked the dust off his coat. “We’ll stay out for a little bit longer and then head back to the boarding house. Let me get this one shrunk down and then we’ll go look for more, okay?”

[Citizenship +1]

His friend nodded, and started knocking off some of the mud that had built up on Slammy’s head.

Wincing at the headache forming behind his eyes and the pressure in the ridge of his nose, Vee grit his teeth and focused his attention on the ectoplasmic cage. It shrank slowly, though when it got down to its smallest size, the [Ghost Maestro] felt something dribbling down to his lip.

“I think my nose is bleeding,” he said, reaching up and pinching it as he leaned slightly forward. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad, and stopped on its own after a minute or so.

“Maybe we should call it for the night,” Alforde said. “I didn’t realize you were as worn out as you are, Vee.”

Vee wiped his nose clean and coughed. “I didn’t either. But yeah, that sounds like a good idea to me.”

Moving slowly, the trio headed back toward roads they knew better – their pursuit of the golems had taken them deep into Northtown, to places they hadn’t really explored before – and the [Dungeon Master] marveled at just how different it looked from anywhere else in the city. The buildings were adorned with big wooden beams, and small statues he didn’t recognize sat in front of each store. Strange signs were everywhere, advertising all sorts of products including a fancy coffee shop, a jewelry store, and various consultants. The streets were surprisingly clean, other than the bits of broken glass that were the fault of the golems.

The nestled pocket vibe actually reminded Vee a little bit of a nice Bardis neighborhood, and the flicker of nostalgia warmed him as they headed back to the main streets. He looked up at the names as they passed, committing them to memory as a place to visit with Luna sometime.

His pleasant thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar voice, and when the trio turned a corner they found themselves face to face with Sacre and some of his goons.

As surprising as it was to see the [Honest Businessman] outside of Angeliinos, the sight of the woman clinging to Sacre’s arm was even more shocking to Vee and his companions. With dark, curly hair and features that looked like they’d been sculpted by a [Master Mason], she was, in a word, beautiful.

“What are you three doing all the way out here?” Sacre growled as his goons stepped forward. They all carried weapons – clubs and daggers, mostly, though one had a glaive that shimmered in the moonlight.

Sensing the threat in the man’s voice, Vee hurriedly reached into his pocket and drew out one of the golem cages. He held it up and rotated it so that the gangster could see the little creature inside. “Hunting mud golems. We’ve caught a bunch around this area, but I’m tired so we’re calling it a night. What are you doing here?”

“We don’t have to answer you,” one of the goons said, lifting his weapon, but Sacre raised a hand and the man fell silent.

“Relena lives around here,” Sacre said, and Vee could infer the rest from there.

Tucking the golem back into his pocket, Vee pressed one arm to his stomach and another to his back. Though it’d been years since his parents had forced him and his brother into etiquette lessons, the motion of a [Courtier]'s slow and polite bow came naturally to him.

“In that case you can both rest easy. This area is clear.”

Sacre’s face looked like it’d been carved from stone, but the woman’s expression brightened right away. Getting up on her tiptoes, she gave Sacre a quick peck on the cheek and said, “Oh baby, you’re so sweet! Coming with me yourself even though you already had things under control! The fact that you’re so considerate makes me –”

She whispered something else that Vee couldn’t – and likely wasn’t supposed to – hear, and the gangster chuckled as she pulled away.

“Good work, you three,” the [Honest Businessman] said, coughing into his hand. His goons relaxed and took a step back.

Reginald tightened his brim around Vee’s head.

“So you’re happy with our work, then?” Reginald asked. “In that case, does that mean you’re going to give us the reward you promised us?”

One of Sacre’s eyebrows went almost to the top of his skull. “Reward?”

“Yeah! We got rid of the golems like we said we would. You’re going to hold up your end of the bargain too and have Walnut skip visiting us for the next two weeks, right?”

A vein bulged on the side of Sacre’s head, and his eyes narrowed. Had he been alone – or just with his underlings – he probably would have replied in a different, more violent way. With Relena there looking up at him and his mind occupied by other things, though, the [Honest Businessman] had no choice but to grunt and say, “Right. Two weeks with no visits from Walnut.”

“Or anyone else,” Reginald said hurriedly. “Two weeks with no collections of any kind.”

“Fine.”

Sensing that the conversation had come to its natural conclusion and that staying any longer would risk the fragile illusion Vee and his companions were clinging to, the [Dungeon Master] gestured for Alforde to follow him and walked away.

When they were a safe distance away and there was no chance of Sacre and his goons overhearing them, Vee took Reginald off and turned the hat around to look into his [Majordomo]’s eyes.

“What was that?!”

Reginald grinned. “No need to thank me. You’re welcome, boss. I saw the opportunity and went for it. Since he had Relena with him, I figured that he wouldn’t be able to say no, and now we have a bit more breathing room to scrounge up the next payment.”

“I don’t think he'll let us get away without any retaliation though,” Alforde said. “We should keep the tally ticking and be prepared to make a bigger payment than normal.”

“That’s a good thought,” Vee said. “Worst case scenario, Walnut expects three week’s worth when we see him next. Nice spot of thinking, Reginald. Well done.”

The hat’s grin grew wider and the trio returned to the boarding house without any further issues. Vee slapped together a few cold sandwiches and wolfed them down, then collapsed in his bed and went to sleep.

Luna and her party were waiting outside the boarding house the next morning, and while the [Pumpkin Witch] looked tired, she looked happy too when Vee and his companions came downstairs and headed toward them.

“Any luck with the [Golemancer]?” Vee asked.

Luna shook her head. “He slipped away somehow, but Holly thinks she got a good enough look at him that she can go and start looking for him elsewhere around the city. She’s really annoyed that we haven’t caught him yet, so I think she’s going to try really hard to track him down.”

“Poor guy,” Alforde said. “Holly is really scary when she’s mad.”

Luna chuckled and nodded. “She sure is. Anyway, the reason we’re here is that in accordance with the job you posted in the adventuring guild, we ventured out into the mountains. I’m pleased to report that we were successful.”

“You found one?” Reginald sounded surprised. “Did you…uh…come across anything else while you were out there?”

Luna turned to her companions and nodded, and Calico, the [Sister of the Plate] reached into her satchel and drew out two bottles filled with a bizarre liquid. “We figured that you might have some difficulty getting there yourself, so we harvested this and brought it back.”

Vee took the bottles, surprised by their weight.

“I know you’re probably busy this morning,” Luna said. “But is there any way Calico and I could talk to Reginald for a few minutes? We had some questions about this reservoir that we were hoping he could help us clear up.”

Vee took the hat off and raised an eyebrow, but his hat’s loopy expression betrayed nothing out of the ordinary.

“I suppose I don’t see anything wrong with that,” he said, handing Reginald over to Luna.

“Thanks, we’ll be quick!” Calico said. The women took Reginald and walked down a nearby alley, and Vee found himself left alone with the [Backstabber]. Janice, if he remembered right.

“So was it a good job?” he asked, trying to strike up a conversation, but gave up the attempt when the woman fixed him with a frigid glare.

Guess I’ll just wait for them to finish up then, Vee thought, tucking his hands into his pockets.

He fought back the urge to whistle, grateful for the ray of sun peeking down through the clouds.

Main Character Sheets:

Main Character Sheets

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 30

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 23

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 15

Wit: 36

Faith: 25

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 15

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 15

Devious Mind: 24

Leadership: 19

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 22 (+1)

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 4

Persuasiveness: 5

Bargaining: 2

Patience: 1

Competitive Spirit: 1

<3<3 Infatuation <3<3

Alforde Armorsoul (UNCHANGED FROM LAST CHAPTER):

Primary Class: Hammer Specialist (Self), Level 5

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 10

Might: 55

Wit: 14

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 29

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 13

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 9

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ??

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 41

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 19

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 10

Might: 1

Wit: 37 (+1)

Faith: 16

Ambition: 28

Greed: 24

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 41 (+1)

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 46

Patience: 9

Irritability: 22

Remorsefulness: 17

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

#4^5#*&_!+++#(@$#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8