Dungeons Are Bad Business

…I think that you’ll agree that a close reading of your product listing doesn’t mention any sort of growth or development in the manner I’ve described. As such, I would greatly appreciate one of your [Necromancers] coming out to personally examine the subject in question as soon as possible to make sure that there’s nothing serious amiss.

Thank you,

Vee Vales

[Dungeon Master] of Crestheart, Oar’s Crest

Setting down his pen, Vee read over his letter one more time to make sure that his handwriting was as good as it could be and that he’d spelled everything right. He might not have looked as closely if it’d just been a personal letter, but he was firmly of the mind that business communication required more than a modicum of professionalism and effort, and wanted to make sure that the letter was as good as he could make it.

The language was a touch more…forceful than he might have otherwise written, Vee thought, but after another read-through, the [Dungeon Master] decided that he didn’t mind the tone. It didn’t hurt to be assertive, he thought, so long as he was polite about it. The issue was somewhat serious, and he didn’t want to be brushed aside or ignored.

Folding the letter up, Vee set it aside to take to the post office after the day’s runs and turned his attention to the viewing crystal next to Reginald. The first adventurer of the day – a level 21 [Combat Puppeteer] – was just walking into the dungeon. At first glance, it was actually somewhat difficult to tell the adventurer apart from the puppet because they were the same height and moved with the same wooden gait. Only the occasional direction of string movement finally gave it away as the pair headed into the dungeon’s starting room.

“Never seen that before,” Vee said. “Puppet that looks like the puppeteer. Kinda weird, isn’t it?”

“[Puppeteers] are always weirdos,” Reginald answered as Vee activated the first flurry of ghosts to try and impede the adventurer’s progress. The six minions were destroyed in a moment by a flourish of silver strings that sliced them into pieces of smoking ectoplasm. The [Combat Puppeteer] cackled, and gave his marionette a high five.

Reginald gave Vee a significant look.

“Like I said. Always. Weirdos.”

They were silent for a moment as one of the [Dungeon Maintainers] opened the door to the next room, then Reginald said, “Hey, boss, I know things have been hectic, but do you have any ideas on how we’re going to make enough fleurs to cover our next payment to Sacre? It’s still a few days away, but it’s definitely coming up and I don’t want to be blindsided.”

Vee shook his head. “Part of me is hoping that we can just make up the money on dungeon entries and continued offers of advance runs, training fights, and skill reviews, but I don’t think it’s going to be enough. Why do you ask? Do you have an idea?”

“Of course I do, boss! I was thinking we could always indulge in that time-honored method of getting money quick without regard for the future consequences. You know, you, me, and the big guy could just waltz right into the local liquor store and —”

“Reginald, we’re not going to rob a liquor store,” Vee interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring down at his [Majordomo].

His hat looked up at him incredulously, his eyes wide with exaggerated indignation. “Robbery? Why, I would never suggest something like that, boss!”

Vee didn’t budge, raising a skeptical eyebrow instead, and Reginald relented with a felty grin.

“Okay, fine. Maybe I’d recommend a bit of petty larceny – or even grand – if the circumstances were truly dire, but that wasn’t what I had in mind. I promise.”

“Well, what were you thinking, then?”

“I was going to suggest that we acquire a bit of liquid courage and then head over to the bank. Our need for fleurs is higher right now than it is in the future, right?”

“Not really,” Vee said. “If anything, we need more fleurs in the future than we do now.”

“Sure, sure, technically that''s true, but a fleur today is worth more than a fleur in a few months. Time value of money* and all that.”

“I suppose.”

“Well, in that case, I propose that we get the people at the bank to give us a short term loan, or better yet get them to help us sell some short term bonds. We’ve already tapped the resource that is the adventurers of the city, but why not offer up some options of support to other businesses and citizens of Oar’s Crest?”

“The bank didn’t seem terribly enthusiastic about the prospect of working with us when we went there back when we were starting up.”

“That’s because they didn’t know you! I’m sure that those old well-dressed [Robbers] would be willing to work with you now that Crestheart has been around for a while, and if we’re lucky we might even be able to get enough to pay Sacre entirely. Heck, even if we can’t, we can get enough fleurs to keep us afloat for a little bit while we rebuild our finances and expand the dungeon this spring. The fundamentals of the business are solid, we’re just in a bit of a cash crunch right now. Think of it like a [Combination Attack]! We ask for a loan, and if they say no, we get them to help us sell some bonds. It’s a win-win!”

Vee rubbed his chin as he thought it over, watching the [Combat Puppeteer] take down Mister Chills as he did so. The miniboss wasn’t quite up to his normal performance on account of the dungeon’s lack of power, but Vee was still surprised to see the ghost falter so quickly.

On the one hand, getting deeper into debt wasn’t exactly desirable, but if he could shift his debt away from Sacre and replace it with a basket of other people – who probably wouldn’t break his kneecaps if he couldn’t pay – that had to be a net positive, right?

“I’ll think about it some more,” he said. “The bond idea is certainly interesting, though I’m not sure that we have enough time to actually sell them before the money is due. There’s bound to be a lot of…formal …stuff…that goes into that. We’d probably be better off if we could just get another loan.”

He drummed his fingers on the desk, and Reginald didn’t push the matter any further.

Down in the dungeon, the [Combat Puppeteer] had gotten distracted by one of the marionette shopkeepers and failed to notice the trio of skeleton lancers slowly closing in on him until it was too late. His run came to an end, and Vee leaned back in his chair to look outside while Reginald and the [Dungeon Maintainers] got Crestheart ready for the next challenger.

It was sunny, and virtually all of the snow around the dungeon was melted now, with only a few tiny swathes of slush here and there.

He hadn’t noticed them before, but there were a few new planter boxes along the street too. They were still empty, but that was sure to change soon as Kai and Dandelion filled them up. Vee couldn’t wait to see what the bonsai treant and his fiend had in mind for them either. Fresh flowers sounded lovely.

Spring couldn’t come soon enough.

After all the runs for the day were finished and the expenses taken into account, they ended up making just over nine hundred silver fleurs. It wasn’t a bad day by any means, but some quick mental math confirmed to Vee that it wouldn’t be quite enough to make the next week’s payment to Sacre if that pace continued. However, all things considered, they’d be pretty close to the amount they needed, so maybe there was something Vee could do that wasn’t quite as extreme as selling bonds or taking out another loan.

Vee resolved to brainstorm money making ideas as he made his way back to the boarding house with Alforde and Reginald, though his thoughts were somewhat distracted due to Alforde’s bragging about his control over his Domain against the three adventurers who’d managed to make it down to him that day.

“— she thought she was going to overwhelm me with that [Triple Hex] of hers, but then I raised my gauntlet and BLAM! Domain Time! She wasn’t nearly so smug after getting clocked with a few big pieces of ice, either! I sure hope these out of towners are a bit of a challenge, Vee! I’m starting to worry that I’m getting too strong!”

The [Dungeon Master] smiled at his friend’s bravado as the gate closed behind him, but made sure to temper the armorsoul’s mirth lest it blossom into something nasty again. “I’m sure they’re going to be plenty strong, pal. You’re going to have to work harder than you’ve ever worked before if you want to keep up with them.”

Alforde flexed, then flashed Vee a big thumbs up. “Don’t worry, I will!”

Laughing and joking, the trio headed to the post office to send off Vee’s letter to the [Necromancers].

*See author's note for definition

There was a note on Vee’s door the next morning, and the [Dungeon Master] read it through bleary eyes. Thankfully, it was written in a large, careful hand. One corner of the paper had been burned away, which Vee took as a signature of sorts when he saw that there was no name at the end.

It said:

Emergency council meeting has been called for tonight to address the recent spate of crime across the city. I will be attending, and will also make the request for your fiends as discussed. Get them ready to work. There’s lots for them to do.

Smiling, Vee folded up the note and tucked it into his pocket, his mind racing as he considered the new tasks that’d just been added to his already too-full plate. His first priority was to get his light section some uniforms that would keep the citizens of Oar’s Crests from panicking and attacking them on sight, then he needed to gather some extra tools, and come up with a way of transporting the trash out of the city. It wouldn’t need to go far, just out into Westown, where he could handle it at his leisure.

He could handle the second and third tasks by himself without much issue, but getting nice uniforms was beyond his skills. He doubted that sheets of ectoplasm would work the way they did for the mannequin shopkeepers inside the dungeon. Regular citizens going about their daily business were harder to impress than adventurers keeping an eye out for an attack.

Had Luna been in town, he would have asked her for help. She’d mentioned that she was a [Tailor] during one of their dates, though she didn’t often use the skills or practice much anymore. Alas, she was off in the mountains with the adventuring party, looking for ways to help Reginald regain his lost [Core Spirit] levels.

He’d have to find a different source for the uniforms.

Like always, the street outside the boarding house was nearly empty as Vee, Alforde, and Reginald stepped outside. However, unlike usual, Sculla was nowhere to be found, and Vee found the ogre’s absence far more jarring than he’d expected it to be.

His sense of unease grew as they got closer to the market square. The amount of garbage on the streets was the same as it ever was, but there were far more broken windows than normal, and a few businesses looked like they’d closed their doors for good. Trash cans were crumpled and broken, as were signs and tables. It looked like there’d been fighting nearly everywhere, and the few people they passed watched them with keen wariness. One older woman even hugged her purse to her chest, as if Vee was going to leap forward and try to wrest it from her grasp.

“Totally irrational. This must be what Sculla was talking about,” Vee muttered as he stepped over a shattered bit of stained glass. He nudged the pieces roughly back into place and saw that it’d been a snail at one time. A few minutes later he passed a stained glass kitrekin’s paw that’d been snapped in half.

Sacre and the don were a blight on the city, their antics frustrating and tiresome.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but someday I’m going to put a permanent stop to this nonsense. Vee thought. Wreaking havoc in the city every few months is ridiculous.

The Expectation coiled itself tighter around his shoulders, and a chill raced up and down his spine.

[Determination +1]

The trio entered the market square, finding it empty but for a few shopkeepers and the stationed [City Guards]. Vee exchanged waves with Joleimna, who was shaping molten sugar into a large bipedal figure. The [Ghost Maestro] wondered what it would be when it was finished, lamenting the fact that he couldn’t wait around to watch the [Candyman].

The woman who ran the clothing stall hadn’t yet arrived, but after checking his watch, Vee decided that he didn’t have time to wait for her, either. There was simply too much to be done at Crestheart. Instead, he left a note next to where she normally set up shop telling her that he was interested in speaking with her about some uniforms, and that he’d return again after the day’s business was done.

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Vee gestured for Alforde to follow him and turned to head back to the dungeon. He walked fast. There was a little less than an hour before the dungeon was set to open, and Vee intended to use that time well.

He was going to make some ghosts.

Main Character Sheets

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 29

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 23

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 14

Wit: 35

Faith: 22

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 15

Plotting: 19

Charisma: 15

Devious Mind: 23

Leadership: 19

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 21

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 4 (+1)

Persuasiveness: 4

Bargaining: 2

Patience: 1

Competitive Spirit: 1

<3<3 Infatuation <3<3

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 29 (+1)

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 15

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 18

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 9

Might: 50 (+1)

Wit: 14

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 28 (+1)

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 11

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 8

Vanity: 2 (+1)

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ??

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 40

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 18

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 9

Might: 1

Wit: 36 (+1)

Faith: 16

Ambition: 27

Greed: 24 (+1)

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 39

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 47

Patience: 9

Irritability: 22

Remorsefulness: 17

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

#4^5#*&_!+++#(@$#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8