Dungeons Are Bad Business

Alforde paced back and forth in his arena, his gauntlets tight around Slammy’s handle as he tried to summon an adventurer with nothing more than the power of his will. Sadly, he didn’t possess skills that would let such a thing happen, which meant that he had no choice but to wait until someone made it to him on their own merits.

Time, as it frequently did while Alforde waited between bouts, slowed to a crawl. Normally, the armorsoul didn’t mind the slowness all that much, but today he felt flickers of irritation between his plates. He was eager – no, that wasn’t right, he was impatient – to test his strength, to compare his skills to those of others, to fight. It’d been far too long.

This agitation was a rather new feeling, as was the sense of his cape dragging along behind him as he moved. He paused and looked down at it, appreciating the way that it ended just below his knees. That wasn’t always the case. For reasons that he was still unsure of, the cape’s length changed throughout the day, though thankfully it generally stayed between his waist and boots. Tripping over it wouldn’t have been very cool. Sometimes, when he focused on the swirling snow and ice, the armorsoul thought he felt a sensation reminiscent of his connection to his limbs, but it was a fleeting thing he had yet to truly master or explore more with his full focus.

Eventually, perhaps, he’d be able to control the cape the way he did his body. The purpose of such an ability wasn’t yet clear to the [Dungeon Champion], but it was intriguing all the same. Could he use it as a shield? As a slide for attacks? As another limb to wrap around his foes? All of those things had value; he’d have to talk it over with Shadowforde at some point.

Speaking of Shadowforde, his mirror glinted across the arena, and Alforde thought he saw his Reflection pacing back and forth in the twisting smoke of his own realm. Was he impatient for a battle too? The armorsoul thought about calling out to his doppelganger and asking, but was stopped by the telltale squeak that marked the approach of an adventurer coming down the stairs.

Finally! Alforde was pleased that the sound had somehow survived the dungeon’s remodel. He’d expected it to vanish when Do and the other [Dungeon Maintainers] rebuilt the staircase, but somehow they hadn’t managed to do so. After hours of tinkering and two full material replacements, they’d simply given up on getting rid of the sound and declared that the squeak was an intended part of the staircase design. A creative usage of the term “design”, Alforde thought, but he didn’t mind it at all.

His thirst for battle was so great that he almost lunged forward as soon as he heard the doors creak and crack open, but he managed to restrain himself. Instead, he focused his will inward and struck his favorite pose. Pauldrons back, head tilted to the side, and pointing at the door.

Like an old friend in a time of need, his Intimidating Presence was there immediately, filling the room with the certainty that Alforde was powerful and not to be trifled with. Some of that came from the armorsoul’s beliefs in his own strength, but the dungeon added to its power and bolstered Alforde’s stat slightly beyond what it should have been capable of otherwise.

A few seconds passed, but the door didn’t open further. Alforde started feeling a little silly. Patience was a virtue, he reminded himself. Especially for a [Dungeon Champion]. He’d hold his pose until the adventurer appeared.

Thankfully, it wasn’t much longer before the doors opened the rest of the way and a darkened figure took a few wary steps into the arena.

“Welcome, adventurer,” Alforde crowed. “You’ve done well, to make it this far!”

To complete the dramatic effect he was going for, he rocked back and forth as discretely as he could manage, hoping that the frosty gloom of the arena would both hide his motion and help his cape flap back and forth. Sadly, it did not, so the armorsoul resolved to ask Hanako for a couple wind skill crystals that Do could install on the tiles behind him.

Appearance was important, after all.

The adventurer was a tall and lanky green salamander, carrying a double-edged polearm and walking with a bounce that marked him as a capable fighter. Alforde noted the careful way his foe-to-be looked around the arena, and was pleased to see the flicker of trepidation on the creature’s face as it settled on Shadowforde’s mirror.

Alforde’s Intimidating Presence faded – he needed to find a way to project its boosted form for longer durations of time – and he shifted from his greeting pose into his battle stance with Slammy resting on his pauldrons. After rushing through his welcoming spiel, he tossed the salamander the SSB – the tiny magic pill that would prevent him from getting hurt during the battle – and readied himself for combat.

“We’ll begin as soon as you take that,” the [Dungeon Champion] said. “Let’s have a good fight, okay?”

The salamander nodded and popped the pill with a smile. “I’m looking forward to it,” he hissed as he leapt forward and raised his weapon.

Watching him hurtle through the air, Alforde judged that the attack didn’t warrant using [Give No Ground]. There wasn’t enough force behind it. Instead, he blocked the blade with Slammy’s handle and pushed. The adventurer flew back, flipping through the air and landing gracefully on the far side of the arena before sprinting forward for another attack.

Their weapons met once more, and Alforde leaned into each blow of the furious exchange that followed. Without a doubt, he was bigger and stronger than his foe, so this type of slugfest suited him perfectly, but he was surprised when the salamander simply refused to back off. He was tenacious, and surprisingly tricky to deal with. No matter how many times Alforde batted away the adventurer’s blows, he failed to land any of his own. The polearm was always in his way, and the salamander somehow managed to keep turning Slammy aside.

For the next two minutes, neither of them managed to score a point, and Alforde’s enthusiasm for battle was tinted by a blossoming sense of frustration.

Taking a step back, Alforde looked over at Shadowforde’s mirror and nodded. The room went cold and wobbled as the Reflection stepped out and took up his place behind the adventurer. Shadowforde had a taste for the dramatic too. Alforde idly wondered if that was natural or if it was an echo of his own personality. Mirror lore wasn’t really his strong suit.

The salamander changed color. His scales were now bright yellow, and he seemed…thinner, somehow. Faster, but weaker. Frowning, the salamander danced back toward Shadowforde and attacked the Reflection. His polearm flickered and flashed faster than they had before, but his blows had clearly lost their oomph. Shadowforde managed to block each one with ease, and Alforde was able to approach from behind without issue. With the salamander’s attention firmly on his doppelganger, Alforde landed a solid blow on the salamander’s side that earned him his first point. Virtually unfazed, the adventurer hopped back to the stage and the battle resumed. He shook his head and his scales once again flickered, but they remained yellow. The salamander said something under his breath Alforde couldn’t hear and charged again.

Unfortunately, Alforde was disappointed by the rest of the fight. While the salamander’s aggression remained as potent as it’d been at the start of the battle, the threat posed by his blows wasn’t. It took barely any effort for the armorsoul to break his opponent’s guard, and the [Dungeon Champion] saw that the adventurer was running out of energy. The salamander struggled bravely, but he was ultimately overwhelmed and went flying off the stage three more times in rapid succession. He looked mad when he came back up.

“That was a good fight,” Alforde said politely as he held out his gauntlet. Good sportsmanship was an important part of his duties, and he’d not neglect it for any match, even if it’d been underwhelming. Still, the armorsoul hoped that the rest of the day’s fights would be more entertaining.

The salamander took a deep breath and looked nervous, as if wrestling with a difficult decision.

“I tried my best,” he finally said as he took Alforde’s gauntlet. “If it’s not too much to ask, would you, uh, mind telling me what I did wrong?”

Alforde tilted his helmet. Most of the time, adventurers simply returned his gesture and left or vowed vengeance before stomping off. Seeking feedback so soon after a loss was rare. So rare in fact that the [Dungeon Champion] wasn’t even sure how to answer. The battle had mostly been settled by the strength disparity between them, which meant that there really wasn’t much to be said in terms of what had been done “wrong”.

However, he couldn’t quietly shrug and ignore the question. That wouldn’t be right. Instead, he asked, “Why did your scales change color after my Reflection joined the fight? You were doing better before that happened.”

“I know. It wasn’t intentional. One of my class skills is [Scalestance], which has three forms I can use,” the salamander answered. “I’ll spare you the details, but basically, I get a bonus to some of my stats and my coloring determines which stat gets boosted. It’s powerful, but I can’t really control when it triggers, so sometimes I stance dance without meaning to. That’s what happened during our fight. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back either.”

Alforde nodded. “I see. Well, that’s probably the first thing you should work on then,” he said. “Your movements are fine, and you’re a competent fighter, but if you’re not able to ensure that you can do what you want during combat you’ll always be at a disadvantage. Consistency is the key to power.”

That last bit wasn’t technically true, as Alforde knew that there were all sorts of [Chaos] classes that thrived despite having skills with wildly disparate outcomes for every use, but he figured that a bit of generalization never hurt anybody.

Or at least, usually didn’t hurt anybody.

The salamander nodded. “I’ll keep working on it, then. Thank you! I got two points of Might for this run, so I’ll definitely be back soon!”

“I’ll look forward to seeing how you improve,” Alforde said as he pointed toward the door leading back to street. “The way out is over there. Good luck with your training!”

Once the adventurer was gone, the [Dungeon Champion] resumed his pacing. Hopefully the next battles would be better.

As the day wore on, Vee heard cheers and shouting drifting up into the office from the street below. When he got a free moment – shortly after a level 7 [Spellsword] abandoned his run due to being frozen in place by one of Hanako’s [Frost Vent] traps – he stood up and walked over to the window to take a look and see what all the commotion was.

Down on the street, a circle of adventurers had formed around a pair of their peers who were fighting. For a moment, Vee’s heartbeat quickened at the prospect of having to go and try and calm brawling adventurers. He wasn’t exactly the type who could stop others in their tracks with nothing more than a loud shout. He supposed he could use [Summon Miasma] to put the combatants to sleep, but that would open a big old can of worms that he really didn’t want to have to deal with.

Thankfully, after a brief exchange of punches and kicks, the fighters stopped where they stood and a couple of the spectators entered the “ring”. They prodded elbows up and shoulders down, nudged feet forward and adjusted hips back, then nodded at the fighters who tried various swings from these corrected stances.

Vee breathed a sigh of relief. The adventurers weren’t actually fighting, they were training. He picked up Reginald and brought the top hat over so that his [Majordomo] could look too.

“Looks like they’re going at it pretty hard,” Reginald said as a new pair of adventurers walked to the center of the circle. Vee grunted in agreement.

With a shout from someone on the side, one of these new fighters – a [Spellcaster] who’d made it to the second floor of Crestheart – fired a blazing orb at her sparring partner. The thin, shimmering shield that the target tried to use to protect himself failed – as it had in the dungeon – and he went flying when the spell crashed into his body. Almost as soon as he hit the ground though, he was surrounded by other adventurers. One hurried to tip half a bottle of Juniper’s healing potion into the injured man’s mouth. After a few moments, he was helped back to his feet and resumed his bout, this time trying to add a second shield behind the first.

“They must want to join the Open Call,” Reginald said as the poor adventurer went flying once more. When he got up for the second time, he was visibly weakened and returned to the circle as another set of adventurers took their turn to spar.

“They’re all pretty far below the threshold,” Vee said. “It’s a nice thought, but there’s no way they’ll level enough to join up.”

“Unless it takes months for the bandits to be caught,” Reginald said darkly. “Some of the high achievers might manage to level up enough by then.”

“You think there’s a chance of that happening?”

The hat wriggled once in Vee’s hands. It was the closest thing to a shrug he was capable of. “A couple weeks ago I wouldn’t have imagined it possible that the bandits would still be active now. What do we know?”

“Fair point,” Vee said, his own mood blackening as he watched the adventurers continue sparring.

Before he could truly start brooding, Do sent up word that the dungeon was ready for the next run, so Vee returned to his seat and adjusted his dials. The day continued, and a handful of adventurers reached Alforde all to be defeated in spectacular fashion. The armorsoul sagged a bit when Vee called down that they were done for the day, but he marched up the stairs all the same.

After counting up the day’s take and storing the fleurs and the shards of chaos in the vault, the [Dungeon Master] and his companions went downstairs.

The adventurers were still on the street, and many shivered from the cold while others struggled to stand, but all their eyes burned with determination.

“Let’s go again,” one [Swordsman] said, though he was sporting several nasty bruises on his face and looked to have lost a tooth sometime in the not too distant past. There was a muffled cheer as the circle sent another pair of fighters into the center.

Vee looked at Alforde. He knew his friend well enough to know that the armorsoul was itching to join the sparring. Giving Alforde a nudge, Vee gestured to the circle.

“Go ahead and help them out,” he said. “Just make sure you’re back through the gate before sunset,” he said.

Alforde nodded enthusiastically before going to the nearest adventurer and asking if he could help out. The man laughed, and Alforde went and stood in the center of the circle.

“Let’s go, let’s go,” he cried. “I’ll take you on two or three or four at a time! Come on, let’s fight!”

The adventurers cheered again and Alforde was soon in the thick of a friendly match against a trio of eager enemies. He seemed happy, though he only blocked and dodged the attacks that came his way.

Waving, Vee and Reginald returned to the boarding house.

Main Character Sheets (UNCHANGED FROM LAST CHAPTER)

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 28

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 12

Wit: 31

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 13

Plotting: 16

Charisma: 12

Devious Mind: 20

Leadership: 16

Guts: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 20

Public Relations: 5

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 21

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 3

Might: 37

Wit: 12

Faith: 25

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 17

Intimidating Presence: 13

Heart of a Champion: 7

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 5

Vanity: 2

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 40

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 14

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 6

Might: 1

Wit: 32

Faith: 10

Ambition: 26

Greed: 22

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 35

%#$@%@@

Loyalty: 45

Patience: 9

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

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