Dungeons Are Bad Business

Vee scrambled to his feet, hurrying across the room to look outside. However, there was nothing beyond his window but empty sky. Now, that was what was supposed to happen, given that it was all the way up on the thirteenth floor, so he dismissed the knocking as a figment of his imagination and turned back around. However, before he’d made it even halfway back to his desk, more knocks came from the window and he spun around. This time, he saw the flicker of a dark shape swinging to the left of the window.

Needless to say, that wasn’t supposed to be there.

Throwing the window open, Vee stuck his head outside and looked over to see a figure hanging from the tower from a shimmering silver rope. Or maybe not a rope. It looked like a whip, actually, but one made of snowflakes. Vee shrugged. Certainly, this was unusual, but he’d seen weirder things since coming to Oar’s Crest.

The figure swung back and Vee saw that it was a woman. He’d never been great at discerning ages, but if he had to guess he would have pegged her for being a couple years older than he was. Her hair was blue – though a darker shade than his own – and when their eyes met as she passed by, the [Dungeon Master] couldn’t help but see that there were glowing silver snowflakes in the center of her pupils.

Another Witch, then. Vee shivered, but that probably had more to do with the snow than any sort of ominous realization.

Kicking her feet against the side of the tower, the woman stopped her momentum and looked up at Vee. She held out her right hand.

“Help me up, short stuff?”

Vee frowned at the name, but assisted her into the tower all the same, closing the window behind her. She clapped her hands and all the snow on her hair and clothing flew into the air. It swirled around for a moment, a blizzard in miniature, before turning into a small snowman that perched on her shoulder like a [Pirate]’s parrot.

“My name’s Holly,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you, Vee Vales.”

Well, that saved them both the drudgery of having to introduce themselves properly, though the [Dungeon Master] was a little uncomfortable that she already knew who he was. Nodding, Vee said, “You know…we have stairs that you could have taken up here. If you’d fallen from that height, it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

Holly laughed. The sound whispered with promises of fresh snow underfoot and flurries in the air. Vee shook his head. Witches.

“Winter is upon us, which means my powers will soon be at their peak for the year,” she said. “If I’d fallen, I simply would have used [Snow Form] before I hit the ground. It wouldn’t have been a problem. Besides, I can’t stand climbing stairs.”

Me neither, Vee thought, but I don’t go climbing up the sides of buildings to get away from them.

That prompted another thought: maybe he should. With the help of Do and the rest of the [Dungeon Maintainer]’s crew, it should be possible to rig up some sort of lift outside the window out of ectoplasm, and then he’d never have to climb up all those stairs again! He could just ride up and down without issue.

The [Dungeon Master] smiled at the thought before tucking it away. Again. Later.

“Well, what brings you here?”

Holly returned his grin with a wolfish one of her own, and Vee recognized it immediately. She smiles like Sacre. Tucking his hands behind his back, Vee readied himself to use [Summon Miasma] if it proved necessary, but the Snow Witch held up her hands.

“There was this salamander that visited me a few days ago. His name was Zeiken, and he carried a door. Pretty weird, right? Anyways, he told me to come and visit you once it started snowing properly, since you’d be trying to keep the city streets clear. I’m a [Snowmancer], and I’d like to help.”

Unbidden, thoughts of improvements to Crestheart filled Vee’s mind. If she wanted to help with keeping the streets clear, could he get Holly to help him improve the dungeon too? Build a collection of angry snowmen? Summon giant snowballs that rolled down hallways? Stack piles of snow that fell from the ceiling and buried adventurers? All of those sounded interesting.

They’d have to wait for a little while, though. For now, he’d keep the conversation focused on taking care of the city. Once that situation was completely under control, he’d ask if she was interested in helping with the dungeon. The long march of progress never stopped.

[Ambition +1]

“That’s a generous offer,” Vee said. “I’m happy for all the help I can get. Why don’t we sit down over there and we can discuss how you’d like to contribute?”

She joined him in front of the console and waited for a moment while Vee pressed the buttons and turned the dials necessary to send his Marked minions into the adventurer. The skeleton mages hurled their jinxes, but the [Axe Afficionado] shrugged them off and hacked the minions into pieces with contemptuous ease.

Vee frowned, twisting a knob to his right that would speed up the upcoming floating platform. The adventurer was a big and burly type, who he doubted was used to quick feats of athleticism. Let’s see how you do with that.

“There’s just one thing I want to know before we get started,” Vee said as he turned to Holly. “What is it that you get out of this? Zeiken is definitely a strange one, but I don’t think you’d come here to offer your assistance just because he came and told you to do so. If it’s money you’re after, you’re out of luck. I don’t really have any spare fleurs lying around these days.”

Holly shook her head. “It wasn’t just him,” she said. “There’s uh…a friend of mine who asked me to come and lend a hand after Zeiken left. She said that you’re a really good guy and deserved some help.”

As she spoke, Vee thought he smelled vanilla, cinnamon, and cloves in the air. He smiled.

Alforde walked back and forth across the floor of his arena, watching frost appear and vanish with his every step. He danced a little jig, and sure enough, it left a short-lived pattern of rime behind in his wake.

Nifty!

When he twirled around, his cape seemed to linger where it’d been for a moment before following, which was…actually kind of annoying? It felt like something was holding him in place, and the armorsoul wondered if there was a way he could make it stop doing that.

Otherwise, he’d have to dismiss the cape before battles, and that’d be lame!

He was equal parts excited and apprehensive about the day’s contests. On the one hand, he was looking forward to testing out his new skill, [Tundra Crash], but on the other he was nervous that he might screw something up.

Still, before any of that was worth worrying about, an adventurer had to make it all the way down to the arena first. With all of Vee’s new ways to manipulate the dungeon, that happening wasn’t a sure thing by any means.

Time ticked by extremely slowly. Well, at least, it seemed like it did. There was no clock down here in the arena, so Alforde couldn’t be sure. To amuse himself, the armorsoul practiced his stances, swinging Slammy and marveling at the faint trail of frost each stroke left behind.

He was just about to summon Shadowforde for a sparring bout when Vee’s voice crackled into the chamber.

“Got a [Shelled Mage] coming your way, buddy. Not much for offense, as you might guess, but so far nothing we’ve thrown at her has even scratched her defenses. It’s all going to come down to you.”

Alforde perked up a bit at that. It was unusual for anyone to reach him unscathed, and the prospect of a battle against such a foe was exciting. He’d really get to test himself, and see what his new skill was capable of.

Resting Slammy on the ground, Alforde spun and pointed at the door. His cape fluttered behind him and he knew – knew! – that he looked awesome. The adventurer was going to be so intimidated!

Actually, come to think of it, was that really what he wanted? If she was distracted by his presence, wouldn’t that hinder her ability to fight?

Sadly, the armorsoul didn’t have time to really ponder both possibilities. The woman threw open the doors a moment later and stepped into the arena, and he had to do his best to look powerful and intimidating.

At first, he didn’t think that there was anything particularly interesting about her appearance. She was a stout woman with brown hair. However, there was a giant green turtle shell on her back that looked like it was fused to her body. In her hands was a sturdy wooden club,

“Hello,” she said with a small bow. “I’m looking forward to our bout, [Dungeon Champion].”

“You’re a…you’re, uh…me too,” said Alforde, a little embarrassed by his inability to come up with a fitting pre-fight line. He’d have to work on that with Reginald after the day’s runs were done. What good was such a cool pose without a suitable line to go alongside it?

After all the pre-fight formalities were taken care of, Alforde settled into his stance and waited. “Whenever you’re ready,” he said.

The woman smiled and raised her staff into the air.

“[Spinning Shell]!” she cried.

Like a turtle, she retreated into her shell and it, naturally, lifted off the ground. Once in the air, she started spinning rapidly, and shot toward the armorsoul as soon she touched back down.

“[Give No Ground]!” Alforde hollered as the shell crashed into his legs. His skill was tested, but it held and the [Shelled Mage] spun away. Alforde advanced slowly, raising Slammy to ready a mighty strike. When his foe approached once again, the armorsoul swung as hard as he could and sent the adventurer right off the edge of the stage.

One stock down, three to go.

The adventurer bounced back up, and started spinning even faster. This time, Alforde wasn’t quick enough to bat her away with his hammer, and went flying when she hit him since he hadn’t had time to activate [Give No Ground] again.

Even stocks it was, then.

Wary, Alforde watched the adventurer slide back and forth. She went all the way to the edge of the stage before whizzing back, and the [Dungoen Champion] had an idea. Raising Slammy above his head, Alforde felt swirling frost form around the weapon. At the same time, he felt a strange tingle between his pauldrons. With a grunt, he slammed the hammer into the stage.

“[Tundra Crash]!”

Ice appeared around his hammer and started creeping forward, and when the adventurer reached it, Alforde saw that his skill had done what he’d wanted. She lost control of her momentum and went careening off the side of the stage. He was back in the lead, without even having to land a blow that time.

The battle continued, with the [Dungeon Champion] and the [Shelled Mage] trading blows and knocking each other back and forth. Alforde used every trick at his disposal, frustrated by the way she met all of his attacks with the same skill. He disliked those who relied so heavily on a single tactic during battle. It wasn’t against the rules, but at the same time, Alforde didn’t feel like it was particularly fair. It just felt wrong, and the armorsoul had half a mind to pause the fight and complain.

Of course, that wasn’t really an option, so Alforde had no choice but to keep doing his best to overcome the adventurer.

However, when he finally managed to knock her off the platform for the fourth and final time, he couldn’t help but make a little noise of triumph.

Still, he was a professional as she returned to the stage. Shaking her hand, the [Dungeon Champion] directed her to the exit and resumed waiting for his next challenger.

Sadly, no more managed to make it down to the arena that day.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 28

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 11

Wit: 29

Faith: 20

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 13 (+1)

Plotting: 15

Charisma: 10

Devious Mind: 19

Leadership: 15

Guts: 11

Intimidating Presence: 9

Citizenship: 19

Public Relations: 4

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 20

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 13

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 2

Might: 35

Wit: 11

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 16

Intimidating Presence: 11

Heart of a Champion: 6

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 7

Vigilance: 5

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 12

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 6

Might: 1

Wit: 30

Faith: 10

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 28

Manipulativeness: 35

F^#$#$%@#

Loyalty: 44

Patience: 12

[#@$%%^*!#@__--#%]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 5