Dungeons Are Bad Business

Shifting his consciousness back to his own branches, Kai climbed up out of his barkbody and slid down a vine tendril to the ground. He wandered over to the bottom of his warding hedges and examined the growth of the mushrooms underneath. They were still growing well, but after a thorough inspection, Kai decided to infuse them with additional Green Spirit all the same. His energy wove its way through the grass and into the mushroom stalks, diffusing through their caps and renewing their power.

[Congratulations, you are now a Grove Tender Level 16!]

[Green Spirit +1]

Poking a few tendrils down into the dirt, Kai took stock of the soil’s condition. It was coming along nicely. The nutrient replenishment that would have taken months or years under normal decomposition was being accelerated quite a bit by his efforts, but it’d still be some time before the menagerie could truly sustain itself like a proper Grove. Until then, he’d have to continue making regular deposits of green energy to keep the process moving.

His sap sang with warmth as he headed back to his barkbody, but he was stopped in his tracks at the sound of bony jaws chattering nearby. Kai turned toward the sound and saw a trio of skeletons trying to turn themselves into a ladder – or, really, a tower – to allow another one of their fellows to escape. A knight skeleton stood on another’s shoulders, while an archer tried to hoist a mage up high enough so that the fourth skeleton could leap over the hedge. Frail as they were, their balance was imperfect, and when the knight on the bottom shifted, the whole venture collapsed. The skeletal chattering increased in speed and intensity, and Kai once again tried to discern its secret. He was convinced that the skeletons were communicating with one another. How else would they be able to behave in such a coordinated manner? The treant paid close attention to the clacks and clicks, hoping to hear some difference in tone or duration, but all the chittering sounds were the same to his senses. Foiled once again, the treant returned to his work with a sigh. He was determined to figure out the trick so that he could anticipate the skeletal mischief before it started, but today wasn’t going to be the day.

Returning to his barkbody and using [Shift Consciousness] so that he saw through the construct’s eyes once more, Kai stalked over to the skeletons and gently used his mallet to discourage another tower attempt. The minions skulked away, and the treant watched them for a while longer to make sure that they weren’t immediately launching into another escape attempt.

“They’ll probably try the tower again in another hour or so,” the treant muttered to himself. The skeletons were certainly living up to their reputation as troublemakers, and Kai spent more time than he liked corralling them and preventing them from getting out into the deserted parts of the city.

Thankfully, the slimes and elementals weren’t nearly so difficult to keep track of. The elementals simply wandered around inside their pen – made from stones the medium section of Vee’s orchestra had helped him drag into place – and the slimes did nothing but eat all day. Honestly, Kai felt a bit of gratitude for the fact that the skeletons kept him busy.

The Royal Slime, Pretzel, had produced two small slimelets so far, and the treant was sure that more were on the way. Pretzel kept its offspring close, guiding them to small flowers and bugs around the menagerie that they could eat without having to compete against their fellows. Kai found the behavior fascinating, and he wondered how long it would be before the slimelets were kicked out of the proverbial nest.

Beyond that, it looked like another slime in the menagerie might have been getting ready to transform into an armored slime. For reasons Kai didn’t understand, it’d taken to only eating bits of wood and tree bark, which lingered in its gooey body instead of being broken down and dissolved.

Things were good right now. Eventually, Kai knew that he’d have to expand the menagerie to accommodate all of the other minions Vee wanted to start buying for the dungeon, but today, it was a perfectly sized bit of paradise. He eyed the far side of the menagerie, deciding that when the time came for the enclosure to get bigger, he’d start over there.

For now, his rounds were done, and that meant Kai had a bit of time to go out and get to work on his other project. The verdant construction.

Leaving the menagerie, Kai walked through the nearby alley and checked on his little plantings. Juniper had helped him pick flowers and shrubs that didn’t need much to survive, and the treant was hoping that they’d flourish. Given enough time, they’d eventually serve as the base for the rest of his aspirations that were part of his [Verdant Builder] class, but for now he was just aiming for a foundation to get through the winter so that he could start in earnest come spring.

He examined a daffodil that had been struggling to gain its footing, giving it a trickle of Green Spirit to bolster its strength.

“Hang in there, little friend,” Kai whispered. The daffodil sent an affectionate feeling through its petals into Kai’s senses, and the treant smiled. It was a tough and determined little thing.

“You know, this place will look really nice once you get the hyacinths planted near the wall,” a voice behind him said.

Spinning around and reaching for his mallet, Kai found himself looking at a door. He relaxed right away. He’d heard about the strange salamander from Vee.

“You must be Zeiken. How did you know I wanted to plant some hyacinths here?”

A fat yellow salamander head poked out from behind the door and gave Kai a wide grin.

“I have my ways.”

A heavy breeze blew through the air, rustling Kai’s branches. He’d never felt it before, but it was still familiar. In the same way that a lemon tastes different than a lime or an orange yet is immediately recognizable as citrus, Kai felt like he was hearing the voice of the [Oracle] back home.

“Are you some sort of [Psychic] or something?”

The salamander stepped out the rest of the way from behind his door and bowed. “That’s correct. I’m a [Doortune Teller], actually. I’m surprised you picked up on it so quickly, though I suppose I probably shouldn’t have been. You might be much smaller than your cousins across the continent, but you treants are a perceptive lot.”

A [Doortune Teller], eh? Kai hadn’t ever heard of the class before, but that was true of many things in the world.

“What’s that do? What brings you here?”

Zeiken shrugged and looked up at the sky. “I’m afraid my class isn’t particularly interesting. I don’t have much control over it. Sometimes I have dreams. Really vivid dreams that lead me to interesting places or people. I [Open Doors] for them, or [Close Doors] that might cause them trouble.”

“And Oar’s Crest is one of those places?”

The salamander shrugged once more. “Of course. There’s all sorts of gripping things around here, though some are more interesting than others. I’ve offered my services to Vee as his [Dungeon Liaison], which will keep me from getting bored for years to come. When he accepts, you and I will be working together, so I figured I’d come and formally introduce myself. If possible, I’d like to be friends.”

Zeiken extended a scaly hand, and Kai [Shifted Consciousness] again before clambering out of the barkbody to take it with his branch. He wasn’t totally sure that he trusted the salamander, but he didn’t sense anything evil about Zeiken, so he saw no harm in being friendly.

“Well, I’d better be going,” Zeiken said as he stood back up. “I have lots of other things to see and do before I go talk to Vee. You should probably get to the rest of your rounds though, especially the flowers three blocks over that way.”

With his feet plodding across the ground, the salamander gestured west before grabbing the handle of his door. He swung it open, then stepped through it and pulled it shut it behind him. Kai blinked and when he opened his eyes, both the door and the salamander were gone.

“That was…something,” Kai said as he shook his branches and returned to the barkbody. He wasn’t generally the type to dwell on things when there was work to be done, so he put the encounter out of his mind and got back to it. He was starting to feel a bit tired though; using [Shift Consciousness] so frequently in a short period of time really sapped his strength, but he still had more than enough to finish the rest of his rounds before returning to the menagerie. He consulted the sun and shadows. There was still a good chunk of time before the skeletons tried to escape once more.

Kai walked west, as suggested by the [Doortune Teller], and made his way down the alleys around the menagerie. He carefully examined the flowers blossoming in each, and was satisfied by their progress. They were coming along just fine too. When spring came around, he’d have plenty of patches that remembered growing things to work with, and progress would come easy during the warmer months.

As he approached the last alley he had time to check, Kai heard a bizarre wailing sound and hurried towards it with his mallet drawn.

He’d been expecting some sort of monster – maybe even a blightbeast! – but instead, Kai found a fiend on its knees next to a small trio of dandelions. The creature was shaking. He recognized it as a member of Vee’s Medium Section, and he saw that it was fiddling with one of the flowers, which had been crushed.

When the fiend heard the sound of the barkbody approaching, it stood up and took a few rapid steps back.

“Wanted touch. Pretty flowers. Was accident. Am sorry,”

Kai looked down at the dandelions, and while he was sad to see that they’d been destroyed, it wasn’t the end of the world. Dandelions were weeds after all, and he was sure more would pop up around his verdant construction as time went on.

Still, the fiend watched him warily as Kai knelt down and used one of his skills to speed the plant’s trip back to the soil. The color faded from the dandelion’s petals, and it turned to dust soon after.

“Was accident. Am sorry. Accident,” the fiend repeated, sounding more than a little worried.

“It’s okay,” Kai said as he put his mallet away. “I’m not mad at you or anything.”

When the fiend met his eyes, Kai saw a flicker of green light that got his attention. He’d seen a similar light in Juniper’s eyes, and while this one was much weaker, he was still quite intrigued.

“Do you like flowers and stuff?” he asked.

The fiend stood still for some time, but then nodded quickly. It was almost like it was ashamed.

“No grow. Only break,” it said. “Want change.”

Kai shifted the weight of his barkbody and fell into thought. He could sympathize with the fiend’s plight.

“Well, if you’d like to learn more about flowers, like how to take care of them and stuff, I’d be happy to teach you a few things. I could always use another pair of hands around the menagerie.”

For a moment, he wondered if the fiend understood him. Vee’d mentioned more than once that the medium section seemed to be delayed compared to the other sections of his orchestra, but eventually, the fiend nodded. He could sense the creature’s gratitude and his sap warmed.

“Would like. Ask Master.”

Kai nodded and held out his hand.

“I’m sure he’ll say yes. I’m Kai. What’s your name?”

“Name?”

“You know, what you’re called?”

Another pause. Then, softly.

“Don’t have.”

The green light flickered again in the creature’s eyes, and Kai turned his attention to the crushed flowers on the ground.

“That’s fine,” he said. “I’ll call you Dandelion. How’s that sound?”

“Like much.”

Kai grinned inside the barkbody and gestured for the fiend to follow him back to the menagerie.

“Before we get started though, come with me. We have to thwart a clumsy escape attempt.”

[Congratulations! You are now a Verdant Builder, Level 4!]

[Faith +1]

[Citizenship +1]

Vee leaned forward in his chair and pressed the slider that controlled the floating platform’s speed as far as it would go. There was an almost imperceptible hum in the air, and the [Dungeon Master] grinned as the adventurer currently riding said platform almost lost his balance.

Rubbing his chin, Vee watched the man ward off an attack by a pair of ghosts that drifted through the walls with his dagger. One of the minions managed to strike a blow right before dissipating into smoke and Vee cocked his head to the side. For all his martial skill, the [Wanderer] didn’t seem particularly athletic.

“How good do you think his dodging skills are?” Vee asked.

“Only one way to find out,” Reginald answered. “Give him the darts.”

When the adventurer jumped free of the platform, Vee twisted another knob on his console, causing four panels on the walls to slide open as the [Wanderer] landed on the ground. There was a loud hiss – union rules for dart traps required at least a quarter second’s worth of audible noise as a warning cue before any projectiles were fired – and then a volley of darts shot from one side of the hall to the other.

The man leapt forward, dodging almost all of the threats. However, one dart struck him in the calf and the adventurer fell face-first onto the floor. When he got up, he held up his hands.

“I’m done,” he called out. “I give up, I quit!”

“Understood,” said Reginald into his magnifying crystal as Vee deactivated the rest of the dungeon’s traps so that the man could leave safely. “Your run is now concluded. Please follow the associate to the nearest dungeon exit. We look forward to seeing you challenge us again.”

Turning to Vee, Reginald grinned. “Nice read, boss. You’re starting to get the hang of this, eh?”

Vee brushed his bangs out of his eyes. “A little bit, maybe. I’m still basically just guessing and activating traps at random.”

“You’ll get better,” Reginald said. “As you get more experience watching adventurers, you’ll start picking up on their tells, and once the dungeon can actually support it, you’ll be able to target your interference more and more.”

Vee nodded. His eventual hope was that he’d be able to take a lot of the pressure off Alforde by preventing challengers from even reaching the armorsoul in the first place. That was a lofty dream and one that he likely wouldn’t be able to accomplish for a long time – if ever at all – but it was something to work towards all the same.

There came a knock at the door, and before Vee could get up to answer it, Zeiken came inside. The salamander was grinning and twisted his door so that he could get it into the office as well. He was sporting a nasty scratch across his face, but the wound didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest as he smiled at Vee.

“Have you locked in your decision about whether or not you’re going to let me be your [Dungeon Liaison]?” he asked.

“What happened to your face?” Vee asked, horrified at the sight.

“Minor disagreement with a kitrekin,” Zeiken said. “I told him something he didn’t want to hear so he hit me. It’s fine. I’m a fast healer. Don’t worry about me, eh? Are you going to let me help you build your business or not?”

Vee looked over at Reginald, and the hat wobbled a little bit.

“It’s your call, boss,” Reginald said quietly.

Vee met the salamander’s eyes and slowly nodded.

“I’m not in any position to refuse help like you’re offering,” Vee said. “So long as we’re crystal clear on the fact that I can’t pay you right now and don’t know when I’ll be able to do so.”

“Excellent,” Zeiken said as he clapped his hands together. “That’s not a problem at all. Let me show you what I can do before you start worrying about things like payment and stuff. Heck, I almost feel like I should be the one paying you. I’m getting in on the ground floor!”

Leaving his door in the center of the room, the salamander plopped down on the ground next to where Vee sat and looked over at the [Dungeon Master]’s console.

He smiled in his unsettling way. Vee had a hard time ignoring the angry claw marks, but did his best not to stare.

“When does the next run start?”

Main Character Sheets (UNCHANGED FROM LAST CHAPTER):

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 25

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 17

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 10

Wit: 26

Faith: 18

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 12

Plotting: 15

Charisma: 10

Devious Mind: 17

Leadership: 15

Guts: 11

Intimidating Presence: 8

Citizenship: 16

Public Relations: 4

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 20

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 11

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 1

Might: 31

Wit: 11

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 16

Intimidating Presence: 11

Heart of a Champion: 3

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 6

Vigilance: 5

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 39

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 11

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 6

Might: 1

Wit: 29

Faith: 10

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 28

Manipulativeness: 35

F^#$#$%@#

Loyalty: 44

Patience: 12

[#@$%%^*!#@__--#%]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 4

Bonus: Kai's Character Sheet:

Kai Ginficus:

Primary Class: Grove Caretaker (Pachi Palmatum), Level 17 (+1)

Secondary Class: Barkbody Pilot (Pachi Palmatum), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Verdant Builder(Self), Level 4 (+1)

Might: 9

Wit: 6

Faith: 13 (+1)

Green Spirit: 30 (+1)

Adventurousness: 5

Guts: 9

Citizenship: 5 (+1)