Dungeons Are Bad Business

Feeling rather cheated, Astrid stomped out of the room of “Wit” with the orb key clutched inside her fist.

"What sort of self-respecting [Dungeon Master] calls that a puzzle?” she hollered up to the ceiling as she tossed the orb in the fire and watched as the flames changed color.

The challenge took place in a room much smaller than the room of Might. She’d been wary of a sneak attack, but no monsters appeared, and she’d been able to devote her full attention to the meager mental challenge Crestheart offered.

First, Astrid had been required to stick her hands into a box that she couldn’t see through and assemble a key from a scattered collection of small pieces with nothing but a picture of the finished product as her guide. Working with her hands without being able to see had been amusing at first, but the novelty quickly wore off.

The key she’d made unlocked a second box, which contained a small piece of transparent material Astrid wasn’t familiar with. Admittedly, this part of the challenge had stumped her a little bit at first. What was she supposed to do with this strange object?

However, she quickly realized that she was supposed to hold the sheet beneath the various beams of colored light shining down from the ceiling. When she did so, fragments of a poem appeared on the ground.

Each snippet of verse contained a number – poorly disguised by referencing animals playing in a field – and from there it was just a simple matter of solving an arithmetic problem and spinning a series of dials on the lockbox until they matched her answer.

She’d been given three chances, but had only needed one.

The entire room had been tedious, but wasn’t difficult. Certainly not “Wit” worthy.

Astrid headed for the room of Faith, hoping that the challenge inside would be more difficult.

The room of Faith was almost completely dark, and Astrid’s anger faded. Her mouth went dry right away and her heart started racing. Ice cold sweat trickled down her neck and back. She took a deep breath. It’d been a while since she’d last felt an [Aura of Fear], even if it was a weak version. It took some getting used to.

Before her was a large pit, and the bottom was filled with slimes. Given that they were as red as a cooked lobster and occasionally released gouts of smoke, Astrid surmised that they’d been fed plenty of fire elementals.

The distance across was too far for her to jump – though other adventurers with [Leap] or [Glide] skills wouldn’t have had any issues – but Astrid wasn’t worried. She’d seen challenges like this before. Another generic trap, she thought.

Slowly making her way around the side of the pit, Astrid tested the space just beyond the lip with her foot. Eventually, her boot hit something solid, and she grinned. Just as she’d suspected.

There was a bridge that spanned the pit, and given that it was virtually invisible through the glow of the slimes, she guessed that it was made of the same transparent material she’d used in the room of Wit. Hopefully it was sturdy enough to hold her weight.

Sliding her feet forward so as to keep them touching the solid material at all times, the [Sister of the Plate] crossed the bridge without issue and retrieved her third orb key. However, as soon as she lifted the sphere up from its pedestal and turned around, a pair of pulleys screeched above her head. There was a clunk, and then the room fell silent but for the warbling of the slimes.

Astrid returned to the base of the bridge to head back across the pit but stopped when her foot found nothing but empty air. The bridge was gone. Nor had any others been put down in its place. Astrid checked twice to be sure.

“Now that’s interesting,” the priestess said as she struggled against the waves of terror crashing around inside her skull. The [Aura of Fear] was getting stronger with every second, and if she stayed inside the room of Faith much longer, she’d be overwhelmed by it.

For the span of ten heartbeats – which really wasn’t very long at all given the speed at which it raced –Astrid considered abandoning her challenge then and there. She’d only entered the dungeon race to have a bit of fun; it wasn’t like she was actually interested in winning the top prize.

She gazed down into the pit and winced at the slimes down below. If she failed to make it across the gap and landed on top of them, she’d be in for a good deal of pain. Even her armor had limits.

Well…there had to be a reason it was called the room of Faith, right? After all, when faced with a seemingly impossible pit to cross – whether figuratively or literally – what course of action was there but to blindly leap forward and hope for the best? That’s the entire point of Faith!

Murmuring a prayer to her patron deity, Astrid crouched down and jumped forward as far as she could go. Only once she was in the air did she realize that she hadn’t looked around for a rope or something else she could use to get across before jumping. A truly devious [Dungeon Master] would have included something like that.

Thankfully, it seemed that Crestheart’s [Dungeon Master] was not particularly devious. About halfway into her fall, Astrid landed on something solid.

It was a thick layer of the transparent material, and the [Sister of the Plate] breathed a healthy sigh of relief as she returned to the hub. Once she was away from the [Aura of Fear], she felt much better.

“That was pretty good,” she shouted up as she headed to the next challenge.

Vee grinned as the priestess entered the room of Dueling and fought a spirited bout with Shadowforde. Initially, the Reflection’s moves were crisp and powerful, and he landed several mighty blows. Unfortunately, without Alforde there to provide constant inspiration, Shadowforde couldn’t maintain his aggression, and Astrid’s powerful punches slowly overwhelmed him.

Her body heaving, Astrid limped across the room and claimed the fourth orb key.

The fifth room was much easier for her, and she finished it in less than a minute. Unlike the adventurer before her, the room of Bravery’s traps couldn’t pierce her armor and she was totally unimpeded as she made her down the miniature hallway.

As the [Sister of the Plate] entered the second floor with her bird companion resting on her shoulder, Vee readied his controls. Thanks to the way that they’d set up the room, he could see the minions at his disposal before he activated each pack. Like the archer in the room of Might, there were a few ghosts and skeletons marked with the strange purple diamond, and Vee wanted to make sure that they got defeated.

To control the elements of the room, he’d asked Hanako to rig up a series of crystals that he could control with a complex array of knobs and switches. Due to the limited notice he’d given his intern to design and build it, the resulting device was on the janky side of acceptable. Should he like interfering in dungeon runs directly, he’d have to ask her to make him a better one.

The first knob Vee turned sent a “floating” platform over towards Astrid. The adventurer waited patiently for it to arrive, and then stepped up to head back across the chasm.

“What do you think?” Vee asked Reginald.

“She seemed to have a tough time with the spellcasters,” his [Majordomo] answered. “Why don’t you activate that pack first?”

Reaching down, Vee pressed a button and opened the sliding doors that would release the second floor minions.

The spellcasters popped out, their jaws chattering with peculiar skeletal laughter. Raising their staves, they filled the air with their jinxes, sending bolts of purple air at the adventurer. Most of them missed thanks to Astrid’s efforts to dodge, but a few found their mark and the [Sister of the Plate] stumbled.

When she made it to the combat platform, Vee let the room’s own floor orders take over once again and watched Astrid fight for any signs of weakness. She seemed to be favoring her right side a little bit, so maybe one of the jinxes did more harm than he’d originally thought. Her bird had taken to the sky during the trip across the chasm, and it was squawking like mad as it flew around the room.

Vee reached for another switch that would activate a second pack of spellcasters, but Reginald reached over with a yellow spirit arm and prevented him from doing so.

“Her bird is worried. He keeps telling her that she’s almost done and that she has to only has a bit further to go. Why don’t you ease up a little bit, eh boss? This is a fun event; we’re not really trying to prevent adventurers from clearing the course. We want her to put up a good time, not give in at the finish line.”

Reginald had a good point, so Vee took his hand away from the controls and let the room orders do their thing naturally. Astrid boxed her way through the rest of the course, and when she hit the button at the end that stopped her timer, the [Sister of the Plate] raised both of her fists into the air.

The [Core Spirit] announced the result of the run and the time to the crowd – he’d been making regular, albeit vague, updates throughout – and the people outside the dungeon cheered like crazy.

There was something intoxicating about the sound, and Vee wanted to hear more of it.

[Congratulations, you are now a Dungeon Master, Level 16!]

[Plotting +1]

Vee got up from his desk and looked out the window. More and more people were streaming into Westown, and though he couldn’t really make out their faces too well from all the way up here, they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

He looked around until he saw Alforde – who was in fact hanging out around Glenda and Jared – and then a flicker of movement away from the rest of the festivities caught his eye.

Three people in their late teens to early twenties were climbing up the wall that separated the street fair from the rest of Westown. When one of them disappeared over the side, Vee swore loudly.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 24

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 16 (+1)

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 5

Might: 10

Wit: 26

Faith: 18

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 11

Plotting: 14 (+1)

Charisma: 9

Devious Mind: 15

Leadership: 14

Guts: 11

Intimidating Presence: 8

Citizenship: 14

Public Relations: 4

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 19

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 11

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 11

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 2

Might: 30

Wit: 11

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Endurance: 16

Intimidating Presence: 11 (+1)

Heart of a Champion: 3

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 6

Vigilance: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 37

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 9

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 5

Might: 1

Wit: 29

Faith: 10

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 28

Manipulativeness: 34

F^#$#$%@#

Loyalty: 43

[*--__#4%_--------]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 4

Bonus: Astrid's Character Sheet

Sister Astrid

Primary Class: Sister of the Plate (Temple of Piper, Oar's Crest), Level 18

Secondary Class: Boxer (Adventurer's Guild, Oar's Crest), Level 12

Tertiary Class: Birdwatcher (Self), Level 9

Might: 15

Wit: 34

Faith:40

Adventurousness: 12

Endurance: 11

Kindness: 22

Guts: 17

Loyalty: 23

Generosity: 25

Heart for Serving Others: 5