Dungeons Are Bad Business

Encouraged by the success of his test, Vee returned to Crestheart Tower the next morning to wrangle up a few more slimes so that he could expand the operation.

Unfortunately, there was a finite amount of room for growth that he could provide on his own, so he had to try and get a bit creative.

Vee’s first attempt was to make himself a series of ghost arms that would attach to an ectoplasm harness around his shoulders and chest. It…didn’t work. In addition to looking horrifying – like a cross between a blown out umbrella and some kind of hellish spider – the ghost arms simply weren’t strong enough to hold the slimes in place.

Chasing down slimes that escaped and were causing havoc in the city wasn’t part of his plans for the day. With a sigh, Vee dispersed the ectoplasm back into the air and reconsidered his options.

His second effort, also focused on ectoplasm, was to impress a few of Crestheart’s ghosts into service. He was already leaning into the ‘Cleaning brought to you by the minions of Crestheart’ angle pretty hard with the slimes, so why not go all the way?

Sadly, the ghosts weren’t quite smart enough to properly do as he requested, and he didn’t have the orchestra space to give them proper orders.

Speaking of the orchestra, he would have been happy to assign Do and the rest of the [Dungeon Maintainers] to the task, but dared not distract them from their work to prepare Crestheart for reopening. Beyond that, he was still a bit nervous about bringing fiends inside the gate. The [Dungeon Maintainers] were developed enough that he he was starting to believe that they'd probably be fine so long as he was there to supervise and prevent people from panicking at the sight of ‘monsters’, but he couldn't say the same for the Light and Medium sections yet.

Alas, he’d have to see about crossing that proverbial bridge some other time.

Kai and Alforde couldn’t help either. They were both busy with their own projects – Kai with the menagerie, and Alforde with his sparring – and so Vee found himself trying to recruit Juniper and Torres to his cause.

The [Stationer] refused flat out, as Vee expected.

“I do not deal with…slimes,” he said with a twirl of his mustache and a haughty little glare. “I deal in paper and ink, Mister Vales. Speaking of, I have prepared your flyers as requested. I’ll be expecting my payment at the end of the month as we agreed.”

He reached down to the ground and picked up a thick stack of papers, which he handed to the [Dungeon Master]. Vee took them and winced. Right, the flyers. Vee had kind of forgotten about those, what with the bugs and all. Whatever, it’s fine. I’ll just put them up while I’m out crunching bugs. Kill two birds with one stone.

He looked at Juniper and grinned at her, hoping that the [Herbalist] would be willing to come along and help out.

She put her hands on her hips. “I want half of what I make,” she said.

Vee shook his head. “No chance. That’s way too much,” he said. “I made the leashes, and unless you want to get your arms covered in slime, it’ll be me attaching them too. All you have to do is walk down the streets and take money from people. The slimes will do all the hard work. How about a quarter?”

Juniper tilted her head to the side.

“Meet in the middle? Bit more than a third?”

Vee sighed. Better to have two thirds of something than a hundred percent of nothing.

“Fine, it’s a deal.”

He leashed up another pair of slimes for her, and they walked to the gate together, making small talk along the way.

“I’ll head towards Southtown and you go to Eastown, okay?” Vee asked as the gate slid open and they headed in. “The price for cleaning is five silver fleurs per storefront unless no one bites in the first hour, then drop it to four and see if you can drum up some business.”

In all honesty, after seeing yesterday’s demand for himself Vee doubted getting business would be an issue, even at the higher price of five silver per storefront. It seemed that once again, his initial price had been far too low. If today’s demand was still as high as yesterday’s, he’d raise the price to seven silvers the next time he brought the slimes out. There were definitely enough bugs to justify it.

He needed all the fleurs he could get. Based on his math – which he’d had Cecil confirm multiple times – the dungeon’s coffers would only cover the next three weeks of Sacre’s repayment and then he’d be in big trouble.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t as nervous about that as he probably should have been. There were plenty of ways to make money, and he’d make it work, somehow.

“But what am I supposed to do with the fleurs?” Juniper asked. “Do you want me to just hold on to them? Are you crazy? I’ll be mugged!”

Right. That was a bit of a problem. He hadn’t had any issues yesterday, but he remembered the failed mugging when they’d gone to exchange the silvers for gold fleurs before their first payment to Sacre all too well.

“Why don’t you make a ledger and collect later?” Reginald suggested. “Take some paper and write down the names and address of each person who hires you. Make sure they sign it so that they can’t try and conveniently forget to pay us later. Then, once we’re all done, we can go around and actually pick up the fleurs after Alforde is done with his sparring for the day.”

Vee paused and scratched his head. That was definitely a better idea than what he’d been thinking of doing, which was making a haphazard lockbox out of ectoplasm. The ledger was simple and would be effective. Why hadn’t he thought of it? Weird.

“Let’s do that, yeah,” he said as he tore a few pages out of his notebook and handed them to Juniper. “Meet back here in a few hours?”

The [Herbalist] nodded and left. Something burned in Vee’s mind, and he hurried to call out to her before she got too far away to hear him.

“Juniper! Make sure that you tell them the slimes come from Crestheart, okay!”

That part was really important, though Vee couldn’t quite say why.

[It’s important to be aware of one’s image.]

[You can now earn points in Public Relations.]

[Public Relations +2]

Reginald asked what he’d just gotten, and his brim tightened when Vee told him.

“Yikes. That one’s a bit of a double-edged sword,” he said.

The actual act of having his slimy duet clean the street was surprisingly pleasant. He just walked down street after street while Reginald called out to people. When he got hired, he stood in a single place and let the slimes eat to their core’s content. Once the storefront was cleaned up, he bade the shopkeeper farewell and went on his way. Business was good, and the slimes eagerly devoured all the bugs. The ledger system worked great, and based on how quickly his notebook was filling up, Vee found himself wishing that he’d given Juniper more paper. Along the way, he slapped his flyers onto empty walls and windows, advertising Crestheart’s special event all over the city. Hopefully they’d generate some interest.

As morning turned to afternoon, Vee decided to sit down and take a bit of a break. After tying the slimes to a tree so that they couldn’t get into any mischief, he bought himself a snack from the small pretzel shop nearby – well, actually he got it for free as a way of saying thanks for cleaning up the shop earlier –and took a bite. It was wonderful. Hot, fresh, perfectly salted and with just a hint of rosemary to really elevate the flavor.

A happy sigh escaped his lips.

One of his slimes turned and Vee got the distinct impression that it was looking at him. Or at least, looking at his pretzel. Vee ripped off a chunk and tossed it on the ground.

The slime blarbled with joy as it squelched over and devoured the morsel.

While he finished the pretzel, Vee looked back at the road he’d already cleared. The contrast between the nice, clean sidewalk and the insect infested streets was rather striking. I really need to get Alforde and Kai to come help too. There’s just too much ground for me and Juniper to cover on our own. Actually, maybe I could let other people rent slimes from me for the day. Fifty silver fleurs – or maybe sixty or seventy!

It was definitely worth thinking about, but if he rented out the slimes and something bad happened while he wasn’t around, he was sure that he’d somehow be found liable. He wasn’t interested in seeking out additional headaches to deal with.

He sat for a few minutes longer, momentarily content with the world. Seeing how much progress he’d made left him with a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was good to be able to point at something nice and say “I did that.”

[Citizenship +1]

[Failed to receive quest! Reason: Citizenship too low (Requires 20 points!)]

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Vee growled at the notification as he dismissed it. “I’m working on it.”

Recharged and ready to go again, Vee stood up and got back to work. In addition to gaining another point of Charisma from talking to all the shopkeepers, he got another point of Citizenship later in the afternoon.

Vee tapped on Reginald’s brim as they finished clearing the sidewalk in front of a soap and candle shop and the overweight, middled aged owner handed Vee a small candle in thanks.

“Do you think I could somehow scrape my way up to twenty points simply by cleaning up the city?”

“Might be worth a try,” the hat said. “But hey, boss? Before worrying about that, doesn’t it seem like the slimes are getting bigger?”

Vee stared down at his minions. Were they? The one he’d just brought along today looked to be about the same size as it’d been when he’d left the dungeon… but the one from yesterday – the one he’d fed the pretzel to – was in fact a little larger. It also seemed to have a strange bump on its upper back. Reaching over, the [Dungeon Master] prodded the lump and found that it was noticeably harder than the rest of the slime’s body. That was good…probably. For a moment he’d feared that slimes were more like slugs than he’d thought and that the salt from the pretzel was dissolving it.

Why was it growing now, though? Was it connected to feeding the monster a more varied diet? It had to be, right? It was too much of a coincidence, after weeks of eating garbage failed to produce any meaningful growth. He’d have to go look at a monster manual to be sure, but he made a mental note to get some plants and other things from Kai and Juniper and see how the monsters did with them.

Bigger slimes meant bigger profits…for some reason. Vee shook his head. He was confident in that assertion, but had no idea why. My thoughts are weirdly fuzzy, today. Not enough sleep last night, I guess.

Though, he didn’t really feel tired. Odd. Shrugging, Vee walked down to the next shop keeper and smiled as Reginald called out to her.

“Want to be able to walk in and out of your place without splatting bugs?” the hat asked. “The [Dungeon Master] of Crestheart is here with some of his dungeon minions to help you out! Just five silvers! Better help than you’re getting from the council, eh?”

The woman laughed, and happily signed the ledger.

“I don’t suppose you’ve got anything that could help with the rats? They’re easier to deal with than the bugs, but there’s still altogether too many of them wriggling around.”

“I don’t have anything on me right now, but I’ll see what I can do,” Vee said.

Rat problem, huh? What could he do to deal with that?

He let his mind wander while the slimes got to work. He noticed that the bump on the slime’s back was starting to change. It looked like it was getting a few points and ridges.

Vee’s slimes kept on growing as the day went on, and by late afternoon Vee had a hard time getting them to do as he wanted when they pulled against their leashes. The worst of it was when they tried to get to a kittrekin butcher’s steaks and Vee had use literally all of his strength to yank them away. The big tabby, wearing a dirty apron and holding a large cleaver, growled and shook his paw at Vee as the [Dungeon Master] dragged the minions further down the street.

“Watch where you’re leading those monsters!”

“Will do, sorry about that,” Vee hollered back as he put up the last of his flyers for the day. His arms were aching from guiding the slimes so much, and he decided that he’d done enough for the day. He’d go back to the gate where he was supposed to meet Juniper a bit early.

The [Herbalist] was already waiting there for him. “My arms got tired,” she said by way of explanation. However, to Vee’s surprise, her slimes were exactly the same size as they’d been when they’d started that morning. Compared to Vee’s, they looked tiny.

That was peculiar. Since they’d been eating the bugs too, shouldn’t they have been growing as well? Was the pretzel the key ingredient?! No, that couldn’t be right. He’d only fed it to one of his slimes, and the other had also grown, if not quite as much.

There was a mystery to be solved here, but Vee knew that he’d need the help of a monster manual to get to the bottom of it, so there was no point in wracking his brain just then.

He collected Juniper’s ledger and the pair went back to Crestheart. The slimes seemed sad to be led away from their tasty meal, and warbled pitifully as they slid towards the tower.

Vee activated [Excellent Spreadsheet] and had Cecil record the amount of money they’d earned from the day’s efforts. Collectively, he and Juniper had cleaned up fifty-six storefronts - with him cleaning thirty one and Juniper cleaning twenty-five, which meant that they’d earned two hundred eighty silver fleurs. Not a ton of money, but certainly nothing to sneeze at. Per their agreement, Juniper was entitled to forty-eight of them, which definitely put a damper in the day’s profits, but Vee was still pleased with the overall amount.

Realistically, though, if he was looking to maximize his fleurs from this venture, it’d make sense to go and pay a [Lawyer] to draft up a liability waiver and start renting out the slimes instead of handling the cleaning himself.

That was a task for tomorrow at the earliest though. Bidding Juniper farewell and promising to bring her the money as soon as they’d collected it, Vee took the slimes back up to their room in the tower and locked them back inside. Before he could close the door on them though, he noticed that the bump on the one’s back had transformed further.

Now it looked vaguely like a crown.

Rubbing his eyes, Vee decided to go and visit Kai. There was still an hour or so before sunset, and he didn’t want to bother Alforde during the armorsoul’s sparring. Instead, he’d go and see how the menagerie was coming along.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales:

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 23

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 14

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 4

Might: 10

Wit: 28

Faith: 18

Adventurousness: 6

Ambition: 9

Plotting: 13

Charisma: 7 (+1)

Devious Mind: 14

Leadership: 14

Guts: 10

Intimidating Presence: 7

Citizenship: 11 (+2)

Public Relations: 2 (+2)

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 19 (+1)

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 11

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 10

Additional Class: Clunker (Vee Vales), Level 2 (-1)

Might: 25 (+2)

Wit: 10

Faith: 24

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 8 (+1)

Endurance: 12

Intimidating Presence: 9

Heart of a Champion: 3

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 5 (+1)

Vigilance: 4

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ???

--~H@#r$d o% ^he B&#e K#$@ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, L$#@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 36

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 8

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 4

Might: 1

Wit: 27

Faith: 9

Ambition: 25

Greed: 21

Deceptiveness: 29

Manipulativeness: 34

F^#$#$%@#

Loyalty: 41

^^^^^^^^^^^

[*--__#4%_--------]

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 3 (+1)