Dreams of Imahken

“A specter to test, then to you the rest.” The fox’s eyes leaked blue haze for a blink, then Sator and Tyza heard Illus and Anilee remark at something.

Illus had been silently waiting at the ledge, too caught up in his own worries to analyze the ruins. Anilee was expeditiously sketching the bridge they saw. Precise pencil drawings littered the pages of her notebook, but she never let him look at any of them.

“Do you remember how tall the bridge was exactly?”

Illus didn’t respond, staring pensively into the distance.

“Illus?”

“Hm?” He glanced at her sketchbook.

“Did you see how tall the bridge was?”

“I was hardly paying attention to it, the scene and whatnot. I reckon it was ten feet high.”

“Of course you weren’t.” Anilee sighed dismissively.

Just then, Illus thought he heard something beneath them, but when he glanced over the edge, the foliage was too thick to see through.

Illus found his gaze returning to Anilee again, washing away all of the ire in his heart for a moment. “How does it feel, finally being here? It’s been a long dream in the making, no?”

She lifted her eyes from the sketchbook. They fluttered to Illus, then the bridge, then the mountain above as a snide smile grew. “Amazing. I hope Carmonia is rolling in his grave thinking that a girl like me will get the credit for finding this place…” she glanced at Illus and added as an afterthought, “with you, of course.”

“Your father will be proud to see what you bring back. I know it. So many people will.”

Anilee half smirked, half sneered. “My father will be more proud of you. He thinks you’ve done it all because you organized this expedition.”

“Ani,” Illus shook his head, softening his voice, “this is your expedition, your work. He sees that.”

Her eyes fell. “But this would not have been possible without you and the resources you acquired from the military archives. I can hardly take credit.”

“What can I say, Anilee, you inspired me…” Illus approached her.

Anilee froze, face redding and eyes widening.

“... to see where this research might go. It has been a pleasure helping you realize your dream.” He held out his hand.

Anilee hesitated, then shook it awkwardly. “Yes, likewise.”

“And I want to apologize for earlier. I should have never been so presumptuous and selfish, expecting a response from somebody who never felt such a way. It’s good that the air is clear now and we can both move on.”

“It’s fine, really, but…” Anilee lowered her head, “you’re always the one cheering me up when I’m down, helping me like you did yesterday. Why do you even bother with somebody as awful as me?”

Illus chuckled. “You were so frightened, but I want you to see this through. Almost there has never been quite enough for me.”

Her voice fell. “Why do you care about me so much?”

He chuckled and gazed toward the mountain, having played this game a thousand times, affirming her until he was back in the palm of her hand, restarting the vicious cycle. “I would do it for anyone. Is your sketch finished? We may have time to investigate around the base of the mountain before nightfall.”

Anilee pursed her lips, her face concealed beneath the brim of her hat. “Yes, this is sufficient.” She slipped the journal in a pocket of the bag Illus was carrying.

“Follow closely now.”

Illus carefully stepped forward, listening and watching for any signs of the bridge collapsing or shifting. The first half was sound, but a missing support beam near the other side left only half of the bridge walkable. The collapsed roof being held up so long was a promising look, but Illus was still careful in his crossing. He stepped onto the fallen granite, testing it with his foot. It didn’t shift or move.

He had no idea what he would do if the bridge began to move or shift, so he stepped quickly over it, letting his breath out once he reached dilapidated tiles on the other side.

Illus had all of the weight, so all he did was glance over his shoulder while Anilee crossed. The way she lifted her skirt and tiptoed across, careful as always.

“I must say,” Illus let his thoughts carry his words, “This is quite impressive. Obviously most of the temple is buried or lost to time, but… so much is still here, it’s…” he lost his train of thought.

“This is nothing. So much for a lost temple.” Anilee stomped the granite and glanced around the bridge and the mountain, eyes relaxed, mouth gently frowning as she avoided his eyes.

But Illus looked past Anilee, to the bridge where another woman was standing. Her long azure hair ethereally hovered as she elegantly tiptoed over the bridge the same as Anilee. She slowly approached, staring at Illus, captivating him into stepping closer.

Anilee was behind Illus, her own voice captivated. “Do you see her too, Illus?”

“Ye-yes… but…”

“Is she the fox’s doing?”

“There’s no other way, right? Ani, look.”

Anilee turned around, jumping in place at the mysterious woman. The woman seductively smiled and raised a hand to beckon Illus. Anilee grabbed Illus’s arm and turned him around, pointing up the mountain.

“Look! There’s another!”

Another woman, perhaps the same one, sat by the peak. Her sweeping strands of blue hair wafted with the wind. Her face too was concealed beneath a fox mask. She took no notice of Illus and Anilee, instead gazing wistfully toward the distant horizon, seated with her head on her knees. Her clothing was different, however, being a silk robe with azure floral patterns. It was modest, covering all but her head, neck, hands, and feet.

Anilee’s eyes filled with indignation. “That woman is wearing my nightgown!” A sliver of jealous admiration grew in her voice. “Why does it look better on her?!”

“Probably a matter of color, really, blue on blue.” Illus sighed, realizing he was about to be forced to go up the mountain and get it for her.

“Get it back for me, please!” Anilee grabbed Illus’s hand, begging him like she was used to.

“Why did you bring an expensive nightgown out here?”

“I- I-” Anilee shrunk into her shoulders. “I thought I might wear it.”

Illus shrugged. “We go up the mountain and then…” he thought for a moment, wondering how much he should help her. “If she’s still up there, you can ask-”

“What?! Ask?!” Anilee pouted.

“Ani, I’m not sure she’s real. I think the fox made her to get us up that mountain like it made the one on the bridge.”

“Fine!” Anilee grabbed the backpack strap and yanked it from Illus’s shoulders. She opened her section and strife took her face. “It’s a mess in here!”

Illus glanced over her shoulder and sure enough, the clothes were completely fine, just not folded. “Is it in there or not?”

She huffed and carefully emptied the pocket of her dresses. The pocket in question was the largest pocket, stuffed to the brim with clothes, cosmetics, and drawing supplies so much that nothing else could fit in the backpack. Had Illus not packed his own bag so lightly, Anilee would not have had any food or toiletries. Now, all of that was strewn around the backpack and Anilee despaired in her lack of a nightgown.

Illus’s eyes were still locked on the woman atop the mountain. She seemed so peaceful, silently gazing toward the horizon while her hair lightly waved in the wind. He wondered if she may be a mirage, or perhaps another entity like the fox.

Anilee smacked the bag. “She has it! She stole my nightgown!” She yelled to the woman on the mountain. “That is my nightgown you have on!”

The masked woman turned her head toward Anilee and smirked, then back to the distance. Illus sighed for the climb he would have to endure. Not because he would struggle, but because Anilee would assuredly be miserable the whole way up.

Illus began up the stairs which zigged and zagged upward. They were overgrown by moss; cracked and littered with roots.

“Illus, are you not going to bring my bag?!” Anilee stood up, the mess a pile around her feet.

He didn’t bother turning around. “Pack it up quickly and leave it in a safe spot.”

“What if it gets stolen?!”

“Carry it if that pleases you, but it is my honest opinion that we will not be needing a pack of dresses atop the mountain.”

She pouted, stuffing the bag full again. Everything was overflowing out of the top, unable to be shut. She dragged the bag beneath a tree and hurried to catch up.

Their gentle foot taps echoed through the swishing leaves, a cool, calm walk. The path zigzagged across the front of the mountain, which made a long climb of what was a rather short mountain. They saw little by way of sights, as the sightlines were blocked by trees for most of the hike. Up the stairs they walked for well over two hours before Anilee’s huffing and puffing brought her to a seat to catch her breath.

“Hm?” Illus turned around, not a sweat broken. “We’re nearly there, do you not want your gown?”

“We-” Anilee was trying to breathe. “We- we’ll see her… come down the stairs.”

“I’m not sure if spirits or ruin entities need to use the stairs, Ani. She could very easily be gone already.”

Anilee scrunched her beet red face at him, aggressively downing her canteen of water.

Illus shrugged and sat on a step. “It’s your dress.”

“And who did she steal it from, Illus? Who has been in charge of my bags?”

“She stole nothing, Ani, I gave it to her.”

Anilee turned to Illus with more vitriol than he had ever seen her express.

He shook his head. “Gosh, you can’t ever tell when I’m joking, Ani. What, do you want an apology? I’m sorry your dress got stolen. It’s a dress. You can get another if we can’t get it back.”

“So you’re simply fine with being stolen from now? Where is your pride, your dignity?!”

Illus laughed out loud. “Ani, I’m unsure if we have had the same experience here. That fox understands human speech, makes mirages, and laughs at our torment. It probably stole your dress, and normally I would be just as infuriated, but I am of the belief that there are powers outside of our control here. And if a dress is all that’s stolen, then what’s the worry?”

“It’s the nightgown my mother gave me!” She was almost in tears again. “Do you not care about anything anymore? What changed?”

“It’s not worth caring about when our lives are potentially at stake.”

Her eyes broke. “So you don’t care about me anymore?”

If he hadn’t seen this so many times before, he might have had remorse, but there was also something freeing about not having to rescue her from herself at every turn.

“Of course I care about you, not the dress.”

“Then don’t you want to make me feel good?” She rose, stepped close to Illus and gazed at him, her glassy eyes inquisitively reading his face.

He met her desperate pearls with faux apathy, a sinking feeling in his chest, but doing what Sator insisted would work. “It’s not up to me if you feel good or not, Ani. That’s a personal endeavor.”

“So that’s it?” She tugged at his shirt expectantly.

“What do you mean?” That irritated him. “Yes, that’s it. Buy a new dress when you get home if she won’t give it back.”

“For us, Illus. Is that it?”

Illus’s heart fell, but he forced resilience. “Y-yes. You’re not willing and I’m through waiting. Now we know each others’ intentions and we can move forward accordingly.”

“Then why does it feel like we never even tried?”

He immediately wanted to yell out “Because you never wanted to,” but he just took a breath. Then a thought of his own fault hit him and Illus’s heart sank further, afraid to confront that question that racked his mind every night, that “What if…?” And then he remembered every one of his advances being met with blatant ignorance and denial.

“I don’t know, Ani.” Illus turned away. “Well, you’re up. Let’s climb this mountain and you can ask for your dress back, yeah? I’m quite enjoying this trip, so I would rather not sully this victory with needless drama.”

They carried on silently, Anilee trailing behind Illus all the way up, stopping whenever he would to maintain the distance, even when he stopped to finally see the view.

The land around them was forested, largely flat, the mountain being the only major feature. Sprawling swaths of gently swaying trees in all directions, some ponds and lakes dotting the landscape.

He glanced back down at Anilee, who averted her eyes a moment too late. She had been staring at him. His mind raced as to why. Was she trying to figure him out? Had she always stared at him with his back turned and he’d simply never noticed? Or was it a ploy to win his affections back? He didn’t know, so he continued the walk upwards.

Whirling winds swirled at the rocky peak, though small it was. The landscape sprawled out before them, an ocean of green surrounding the island they stood atop, its shores dotted with columns of granite, a few granite buildings and gazebos, and the rose gardens which formed a wall around the entire site, all the way to where the mountain became too steep to climb. On the opposite side of the ruins was a crystal clear lake where the waters were still too low to flood the rivers on either side of the ruins. And of course, the masked woman was in the same spot, though standing, she gazed out to where the sun was meeting the horizon, away from Illus and Anilee.

She stood solemnly. Her unnaturally blue hair seemed to shift in the golden hour, a blue as deep and pale as the sky just after sunset, but moments prior to the first star’s shine. The ethereal glow that appeared to emanate from her begged to question if she was even real.

“You-” Anilee heaved, “you have my… nightgown! And I want it back, now!”

Illus grabbed Anilee’s arm and held her back from approaching the woman. “I apologize emphatically. We have no ill intentions, but you alarmed-”

The woman held her hand up to stop him, only turning her head halfway to see them. The ivory fox mask was incredibly detailed upon closer inspection, decorated by blues and golds in geometric shapes. Her gentle voice was akin to a flowing brook or a lightly rustling tree. “It’s quite nice on the skin, but I will oblige. If she desires this gown now…” She untied the sash and let the fabric fall down her lithe shoulders.

“N-no!” Anilee yelled in embarrassment, shielding Illus’s eyes.

She caught the gown from falling. “Do you not want it?”

Anilee stammered in gibberish, infuriated that she was losing her gown, but more worried about Illus seeing the woman in such a compromised way.

Illus lowered Anilee’s hand as the woman smirked and raised the gown. “Please keep it, a token of our respect and good will. If I may inquire a little,” he started, “we are explorers in search of Imahken.”

“A bit late, hm?”

“Are you…” Illus wasn’t sure how to ask what he wanted to ask. “Are you a descendent, or perhaps from the time? Is this truly Imahken?”

“Has asking a woman her age become etiquette since the last explorers found me here?”

Had this magical lady any wrath or spite in her? She seemed rather casual, but Illus feared what would become of asking too many wrong questions, at a loss for what to say next. “Well, I mean no-”

The woman nodded before her jovial tone and smile faded. “Imahken ceased to be with its people. We stand upon mere memories.”

Frozen and stuttering Anilee seemed more starstruck than scared. “You- you- you- are you the keeper?”

The woman took a deep breath in and turned toward the setting sun. “I am the remnant of a lost era, the keeper of time’s tomb, the watcher of all who enter my domain.”

“Um,” Illus interjected, “to backtrack a phrase or two, you said you met the last explorer to arrive here. Did you meet one by the name of Jiremont Carmonia?”

“A word of advice,” she ignored his question, “keep your eyes high so long as you are here, the sky is not always so lovely as this one, but it is as a golden dream in the days before the rainy season. Be away before the rivers grow, lest you be trapped in this world until they dry at the end of next summer.”

Illus lowered his head, stepping back. “Of course. Apologies, we did not mean to disturb your evening sunset. We will be on our-”

She put up her hand again. “I have witnessed thousands of sunsets as brilliant as this one will be, and I will yet witness thousands more. Visitors have not seen this sunset in centuries, so please you, let this one be a gift repaid by speaking nothing of me.”

She leapt off the peak as though featherlight,hopping from stone to treetop the whole way down, disappearing into the foliage.

Anilee took a sharp breath in. “Is she alive? Did she-”

“Heavens!” Illus’s mouth was wide open as he raced to the edge to watch. “No, she’s well. Ani, this is precisely why we need to not be demanding of the entities here.”

“I don’t- I hadn’t realized that… do you think she could kill us with magic?”

Illus’s face filled with bewilderment. “We haven’t the slightest clue how magic operates. I don’t know.”

Anilee put her hand on her heart and sat. “This is all becoming too much for me.”

“We had no way of knowing- of expecting this.” He sat beside her. “Perhaps we should take her advice.”

Anilee shook her head, “I don’t have the energy to walk back down yet.”

“No, I meant that we should watch the sunset.”

Anilee looked at him like he was crazy, forgetting her own exhaustion to ridicule him. “After all of that, you want to sit here and watch the sun? You can do that anywhere. We need to be documenting these ruins, searching for her! She is a resource like no other if she truly is from ancient times, and you let her get away!”

“Don’t you think she would have answered my question about Carmonia if she wanted to talk about the past?”

“She’s deflecting for some reason, but imagine what she could tell us! The poem said something about taking off a mask for a reward. Illus, do you think that if we steal her mask, we earn a reward?”

Illus got lost in Anilee’s speculative eyes, dreaming, imagining whatever she saw in her head. “What?”

She scowled at him. “Why do you always look at me like that? Am I that dirty? Is there something on my face?” She began wiping at her cheeks and forehead.

He lost all the fight he had, tired of the back and forth, exhausted from not knowing if she would ever accept him, and frustrated with her constantly miserable attitude. “I’m looking at you like this because I… I loved seeing you so happy living your dream. All I want for you is to be happy.”

She stopped wiping her face, silent with astonishment.

Illus sighed, caught in the moment. “What’s going on here, Ani? This game of ‘will he, won’t she’ is exhausting to no end. I thought that finally getting you alone as you are, you may finally respond authentically, but getting to know you is such a struggle, always. Why, Ani? Is there a shred of regard in there for me or am I the fool thinking you ever cared?”

Anilee pulled her knees in close to her chest and side-eyed him. “I don’t know.”

Illus’s head fell and he clenched his eyes shut. “What?!” He raised his eyes to her. “What don’t you know?”

“I don’t know what… love is supposed to be like. What it feels like.”

Illus relaxed his tired face. “I don’t know either, but I think that’s part of learning. Do you think you might love me, or you might be able to?”

“Yes… maybe.”

“Okay,” Illus bit his cheek in thought. “Perhaps we can treat this like an investigation, or research, then. Take a logical approach. What do… what could you… love about me? If you do.”

Anilee buried her face in her knees, still peeking at him with her dark brown eyes. “I like… how you bring me tea and goodies when I’m researching. How you always have a way to make me happy when I’m sad. How you help me carry the things that are too heavy for me.” She furrowed her brows and rambled an excuse as if by instinct. “I shouldn’t have to justify my affections.”

Illus’s heart sank, realizing that her favorite things about him were that of a butler.

“What about you?” Anilee mumbled into her dress, too embarrassed to look at him. “What do you… love… about me?”

He barely had to think. “I love how you see a mystery and so diligently pick it apart. I love seeing you smile when I bring you tea and goodies. I love when you fall asleep on that couch we’re always researching on, and I get to tuck you into a blanket.”

“Those last two aren’t about me,” she whispered into her dress, “they’re just things I do.”

His heart sank further, so much so that he was locked in a rough war with a tear in his right eye.

He continued. “I love your persistence and dedication to realizing your dreams. I love how you always care so much how you look, and yet I’m still mesmerized every time I see you, even now. I love how you take the time out of your day to teach the schoolchildren ancient history-”

“That’s just a thing I do! Do you love me, or do you just love me for the things I do? I want all of your love, not just admiration and favor. Give me your love, only for me and nobody else.” Her frustrated eyes glowed like honey in the golden rays of the sunset.

Illus lost the battle with his eye, but he thanked that sunset that it was the eye she could not see. He shook his head and stared forward, the radiant heat warming his face.

“You’re right, Ani. I guess I don’t love you.”

“You only think you love me. You don’t know what real love is.”

Illus was positively irked at her hypocrisy, seeing the reality of the situation more clearly now, but he held back. “Perhaps we should just enjoy the sunset silently.”

His eyes went beyond the warm, rich-toned sunset spanning around the mountain, the gradient of night behind him. His mind was lost in the light, wondering why he ever fell for Anilee.

Then he felt a hand on his. Anilee scooted closer, much closer than she had ever been. She leaned against him and picked his hand up, lacing her fingers into his. He turned to her and before he could say or do a thing, she kissed him. Her hand rested on his cheek, her tongue pushing his mouth open, and then they tasted of each other with full fervor. He set his hands on Anilee’s waist, gently holding her like he had dreamt of doing for so long.

And yet the taste was so soured.

Illus released his lips from hers, but held close, breathing in the intoxicating warmth of her every exhale. She stared into his eyes expectantly, a bashful smile, yearning breath.

If there was ever a moment, a time to ask for her hand and take out the ring, Illus knew it was then. Surely she was coming around to him now, right?

He pulled his hand from her waist and set it on his pocket, fighting the desire to pull Anilee close and embrace her more deeply. His hand wouldn’t reach in his pocket, nor would his face move closer to hers.

His breath calmed, and he found himself reading Anilee’s eyes. They weren’t in love with him, not that he could tell. Illus saw no affection, just desperation. Like she kissed him because she knew no other way to keep him.

Illus sat back, propping himself up on the hand he was going to grab the ring with. He smiled at her and pulled her head onto his shoulder, watching the sunlight finally disappear beneath the horizon. He held her through the twilight until finally they were alone in the center of the deep black sky, peppered by millions of stars, the full moon casting pale light onto the mountaintop.

Anilee kneeled next to Illus, brushing her hand against his cheek once more. “If you love me, then why did you stop kissing me?”

Illus couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes any more. “If it was any other day these past five years, Ani, I would still be kissing you.”

“Then why not now?” She desperately pouted into his ear. “Why not anymore? Nothing’s changed.”

“You’ve not changed, Ani, I have.”

“What do you mean?” Her high pitched whining almost sounded like despair. “I didn’t know before, Illus, but you showed me. I love you.”

A heart sunken any deeper would have no time to resurface from drowning. Illus wanted to hear those three words for so long, and here they were, feeling so insincere.

She pulled his face closer. “Why can’t you love me anymore?”

“Because you only pull me in when you’re about to lose me, Ani. Every time.”

“Of course I don’t want you to go, Illus. I-”

“I think I’m beginning to see the full picture.”

“What?” She grabbed his hand. “What do you mean? You’re not acting like yourself! You’re not making any sense, Illus!”

“It makes no sense to me either, Anilee, why you say this now but show me never. Not on any normal day or even when I am low. Only when I dare question why I have stayed.” Illus croaked, years of frustration welling up in him. “It’s always me doing your bidding, then you begging for me back when I start to pull away, but somehow it’s my fault?! And now this? Am I supposed to believe that you kissed me because you love me when even on our nights alone you refused any intimacy, any care, any empathy?”

“I wasn’t ready, Illus, I- you’re not making any sense right now! Do you hear yourself? I love you, but I was scared before, but-!”

A burning sensation raged through Illus’s chest, surging through his mind like a fever lusting for a cure. He had no clue what the feeling meant, but he pulled Anilee in and kissed her again. This time was more drawn out, ravenous and desperate, hands wrapping around each other. She reached up his shirt, and he pulled her body against his, lavishing in the sensation of her hands on his skin, the soft press of lips, and the taste of each other’s mouths. After so many years of desire built up and finally broken down, Illus let Anilee have her way on that mountain top in the pale moonlight.

A chill slipped into the warm summer winds, night’s whisper that only drew them closer, tighter in embrace. And the wind carried the bang of a rifle shot on it, one which erupted at the foot of the mountain.