Dragonlord

Ep 59. Just Like Before. (3)

Aldrid audibly laughed at her own story. The past she’d lived was nothing but irony to her future self.

“Isn’t it ironic? Even though our homes were under constant attack, the kin could never attack back because they were being considerate of us. They let us be attacked for our own sake. The truth is, we would’ve been just fine siding with demons for the kin. No one knew that many of us would rather die with our family than live on our own.”

“…”

“…But even then, Lord Serenis, I know you thought of us as family. The kin really did treat us no different than their own. Besides, Elder Arkrana always told me that the only reason she remained at the nest’s outskirts was because you asked her to protect us. How could I resent you after that?”

Serenis rolled her hands into trembling fists. Even though the deity no longer held any resentment towards the dragonlord, Serenis herself couldn’t forgive what she’d done to her kin.

It wasn’t just the dragons. Everyone had suffered in their own ways, and their lord had never lived up to her responsibilities to protect them.

“…It’s all my fault. I’m afraid there isn’t anything else I could say…”

Aldrid slowly placed her hand on the dragonlord’s shoulder. A gentle warmth spread throughout the dragon’s body as the deity whispered back.

“It’s alright. I know you didn’t mean ill. It wasn’t on purpose, right?”

“…I still failed you all.”

“It’s alright, I do mean it. And…while those were difficult times, I even became a deity now, see? The dragonkin managed to survive the era, too.”

Deity.

Aldrid’s words reminded Serenis of the entire reason she’d come to this place.

‘Deity…that’s right. She, too, is a deity.’

Serenis had momentarily forgotten – that Aldrid, too, was one of the twelve survivors of the past. She, too, was a facilitator of the star’s remaking.

The dragonlord raised her head once more, finally meeting the deity at eye level. A conflicted expression rested on Serenis’ face.

“Then, when the star was remade…you, too, have…”

Aldrid retreated her hand, shrugging at the response. Clearly, the dragonlord already knew of what had become of the world after her death.

“Shameless, aren’t I? I was a bystander too. When our world fell apart, or when Lord Vulka suffered by himself…I didn’t do anything. I only watched as Master Felicir did as he pleased.”

“…According to the Iris, you alone could stand before the deity of death.”

“Mhm. She’s right.”

“Why was it that you allowed the star to die? Was it revenge against all those that plagued your life?”

Instead of answering right away, Aldrid first smiled back at Serenis. Now that it was her turn to admit to all her wrongs, she found it difficult to part her lips.

“…To be honest, I was afraid of standing out. You see, even though Master Felicir can’t kill me, others still can.”

“…”

“And…I was scared. That, if I died, others would die with me.”

“…What?”

“With you and Lord Vulka gone, there wasn’t anyone to protect the remaining kin anymore. No one else is here to protect my family or the remaining hatchlings. I was scared of what would happen to them if I were gone.”

The deity’s hand slowly hovered over her own chest, grasping at the skin beneath – doubtlessly where her shard of divinity laid within.

“Haha…sorry. It’s a rather poor excuse for what’s happened. I sound like a child, don’t I?”

Was it childish?

Certainly, a person could be viewed as such for prioritizing the ones they cherish over what was morally right. If Aldrid was childish for choosing to live with her family and kin instead of fighting for the rest of the star, then she was willing to accept that.

Serenis couldn’t agree, nor disagree. The dragonlord had no right to judge the woman beside her. Unlike Serenis, Aldrid had made a choice to protect those she cherished – and had succeeded in doing so.

An empty laughter came forth from the dragonlord. Her decision had been to not make a decision – and that had robbed her of everything, cherished or not.

“…You’ve nothing to blame yourself for.”

‘If anyone is at fault, it would be myself. For pitting you into such a position.’

Aldrid quietly snickered at the answer. For centuries, she’d wanted to hear those words – but unlike before, she had no one to pray to, no one to look for guidance. Even when she answers the prayers of others, no one had been able to answer the deity’s own prayers anymore.

“…I never understood what it meant to be responsible for others before I became a deity. Being torn between decisions, regretting what you’ve done…but Lord Serenis, you probably felt this way all your life. Always worried about everything, always worried about what to do. You’ve carried this responsibility all your life.”

Sometimes, keeping one’s position was the only course they had.

To stand one’s ground for all eternity, protecting what little they could. To make sure that nothing ailed those they loved, even if it meant accepting the treachery of their present. Though Serenis had later realized that her decisions had been a mistake, she could at least say in confidence that it wasn’t out of sheer ignorance or a lack of contemplation.

Aldrid was the deity of life. At the same time, she was a dear child of the dragonkin that knew and understood Serenis as an individual.

‘…However…’

Serenis abruptly took a step back as she distanced herself from the deity. Her expression was torn between guilt and pain alike, and her eyes didn’t seem to know which emotion to focus on.

Aldrid worriedly watched the dragonlord, confused by the abrupt distancing.

“Lord Serenis?”

“…I am no longer your lord.”

It was only right that she drew the line here. The past remained in the past – eras had changed, and Aldrid was no longer a mere human child. They could not return to those olden days.

Serenis needed Aldrid’s help to defy the divinity of death, but not at the cost of forsaking another kin. If the dragonlord had to use coercion, she gladly would, and be despised for it fairly – it was a better alternative to unfairly relying on a past, severed connection.

“I seek to liberate this star and destroy divinity. I…am your enemy.”

A moment of uncomfortable silence settled in as Aldrid kept her eyes fixed on the dragonlord.

“…You are, are you?”

Then, the deity only let out a relieved sigh at the dragonlord’s sudden claim. She even began to laugh as she replied.

“You didn’t think I knew that already? Of course you oppose us. I’d expect no less from our lord who slayed the star’s tyrant.”

When Aldrid hovered her hand over her chest again, a golden brilliance illuminated the night as the fragment of divinity materialized into her hand. When the shard of life was completely out of her body, she slowly knelt down on one knee, placing it down on the ground before her as one would an offering to their lord.

“Here.”

“…You’d forfeit your divinity?”

“Why not? With you around, I don’t have to protect the dragonkin anymore. It’ll be a little harder to look after my own family, but I’m sure I can manage. We humans cannot destroy divinity in any way, but you…you can destroy the First’s body. You should be able to destroy this shard.”

“…”

Serenis hesitated to step forward. Even though Aldrid’s argument was sound, the dragonlord couldn’t simply destroy the divinity of life – for reasons that both of them knew all too well.

Aldrid snickered as she watched the hesitating dragonlord.

“You didn’t actually find me to destroy my divinity, did you? You came here to seek help in defying Master Felicir’s authority.”

“…You knew?”

“It was quite obvious the moment you said ‘Iris’ sent you. Since she can’t convince me to oppose Master Felicir, she probably asked you to do it in her stead – that you’d be able to persuade me otherwise.”

Aldrid’s smile widened as the dragonlord failed to deny her words. The deity began to skim over what she remembered of the deity of mana, tracing her old memories of Felicis.

“Did you know? Lady Felicis speaks as if she could, but even if she were actually given the chance, she couldn’t ever bring herself to kill Master Felicir. She’s more frail than she realizes. Even though she knows what’s right in her head, her heart never agrees.”

“…Then, what of yourself?”

“Me?”

“I’ve heard that you and your son also owed your lives to this ‘Felicir.’”

“…I suppose. Since he was the one who gave us our divinity shards.”

The dragonlord grimaced as Aldrid openly admitted to the suspicion.

“Then, even for you…opposing him would be difficult.”

“I would be lying to say I don’t feel indebted to Master Felicir, at least in part. But, lord, to tell you the truth…”

The deity cut off Serenis’ words as her eyes fell down to the shard of life on the floor. Even its golden brilliance meant so little before the Starchild.

“Even though I’ve spent a millennium as Master Felicir’s servant – as the deity of life – I still remember my life before that too. And I was much, much happier back then. When I lived together with my family, together with the dragonkin, in the home of our nests.”

Aldrid retrieved the fragment into her palms. She rose to her feet, beaming a bright, genuine smile towards the dragonlord.

“I’ll gladly help you, my lord. After all, you just might be the only person that could change our star now. But you have to promise me something in return.”

A brief pause ensued as Aldrid closed her eyes.

Just like Felicir, she, too, had a dream. A vision she wanted to realize that could never come to pass until he was gone – a world that could never come true without the lord of dragons.

“When everything’s over…could you promise to rebuild our nest? As a home where man and dragonkin can live together, just like before.”

“…”

Would a day like that come?

Even Serenis couldn’t say. But if a day did come where duty no longer bound her, then she’d wish for nothing more than just that.

To return, even in part, to the nest she so dearly missed. Where man and dragon alike would live and laugh in harmony.

“…I will. You have my word.”