Double-Blind: A Modern LITRPG

There was a hollowness to it. Not in the traditional cliche sense—there was no part of me that regretted what we did to Sunny, and regarding the act itself, I felt nothing but satisfaction. It was good that he was gone. Right, even. Nothing he could offer us as a prisoner mitigated the risk of keeping him alive. And now that he was gone, I was all but certain I would sleep better.

It was the way he went that felt anti-climactic. No actual plan, no sudden, unexpected yet brilliant strategy to prolong his life. It almost felt like he’d been hoping we’d just… forget about it all. Move on in lieu of a greater threat.

Only we hadn’t.

All throughout the trek back through the Galleria, I expected a wrinkle. Some buzzer beater complication to throw us back into the shit. For the Driftless to turn or simply for the Steward to suddenly require more payment for the hunting license.

None of that happened. I got the sense that unlike a lot of guilds operating in the city currently, the galleria-folk simply didn’t have the energy to start shit. They were stuck on defense, between two camps of assholes that wanted them gone. I came in with a team, solved a problem cleanly, and left the Steward confident he’d made a friend. Realistically, he had.

I was starting to owe too many people favors.

Greg had already left, so we drove the spare SUV Sae kept in her inventory out. At Astrid’s prompting, we paused a few blocks away, pulling into the drive-through of a now derelict food chain. She and Max got out alongside me while the others waited.

“Sorry.” Astrid winced, one-eye half-closed, and reached out to steady herself on the bumper. “Whatever he’s doing in there, it’s sapping my mana. If he’s doing it on purpose, he clearly doesn’t realize that me running out of mana means him running out of air.”

“Guessing he missed that fine print.” Max stuck his hands in his pockets.

I scanned the night, looking for the odd passerby or faces peering through windows. Finding nothing. “Bring him out. We’ll keep squelch up and put him in the trunk compartment.” The main reason we’d relied on Astrid’s pocket dimension spell in the first place was to obscure the kid altogether. No matter how flexible they were being about their human infestation, anyone would ask questions if you were carting a kid away.

“He’s gonna remember the car.” Max warned.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re ditching it after this.”

He sighed reluctantly. “Maybe we should consider other options.”

“No, we really shouldn’t—”

Before I could finish, Astrid rounded on Max, shoving him hard. “What the fuck are you talking about? No really, what are you suggesting?”

Max held his hands up defensively, backing up in a circle as Astria advanced on him. “Look, I like kids as much as the next guy. Got a couple myself. But that’s not a kid you’ve got locked up in the shadow realm. That’s a child soldier. One almost guaranteed to have a fucked up childhood with plenty of motivation to hate us.”

“He didn’t see our faces.” I said, trying to keep things low-key.

Which clearly didn’t work, as Astrid rounded on me next, hands clenched into fists at her side. “And if he had, then what?”

“Hypotheticals are pointless. We were careful. We did it right, and he didn’t see shit. Let it go.”

Astrid crossed her arms. “I want to hear it. What would you have done if he saw our faces, Myrddin? Because up to this point, your go-to response to inconvenient problems hasn’t exactly been pacifism.”

Max rolled his eyes. “Girl joins hit squad. Is shocked when there’s hitting involved.”

“You fu—”

“Enough.” They both jumped at my tone, Astrid frozen with a finger planted on Max’s chest. I stared down Max first. “The rest of you are more or less anonymous. Sure, he saw your height and build but that’s all he’s got. Sunny was running scared for weeks. I’m the bogeyman in this scenario. If the kid’s gunning for anyone, he’ll be gunning for me first.”

Max grimaced. “This isn’t just self preservation. I’ve worked for a lot of guys. You pay better than most, and never treated us like we were expendable. Pulled my ass out of the fire more than once. So I’d be a shithead to not point out what might be a fatal mistake, just because it’s unpleasant.”

“Okay. But you agree that I’m right?” I held his gaze. “That I’m holding the lion’s share of risk here?”

“From the kid, maybe.” Astrid muttered.

“Yeah.” Max said, his voice clipped. “I suppose you are.”

I stared at Astrid next, resisting a subtle temptation to use on her. Not to lie, just to ensure she believed my next words as truth. Most mages with high int would be able to shrug it off, but Astrid was deeply unsettled, and the ability worked better on elated emotional states. Especially when I was familiar with the person in question.

But that was a slippery slope, and I knew it.

“If he saw our faces, I couldn’t just let him go.” I started with an admission. “But I’d come up with something. A safe place to keep him within my circle of trust.”

“A prison cell.” Astrid stated with obvious distaste.

“No. Somewhere humane, a place where he could contribute and have some semblance of a life while managing the potential threat.”

“And if he takes advantage of that compassion to come after you?” Max prompted.

I locked eyes with him. “Then that’s my problem to deal with.”

“Whatever. Just trying to keep you alive, chief.” Max waved over his shoulder. After a couple of seconds, I heard the hum of the low radio as the door opened and shut.

With Max gone, I turned to Astrid. “Satisfied?”

The van shifted slightly as she sat down, fight draining out of her, leaving her drawn and pale. “I’m all fucked up.”

“Why?”

She wiped her face, fingertips cloying at the sides of her eyes. “It’s just… I always knew the world was a scary place. Like I knew that, even before. Astrid and I wouldn’t have survived if we were that naïve.”

“You’ve had to be strong for a long time.” I filled in, almost automatically falling into therapy mode. In truth, it was far easier to empathize with Astrid and Astria than most people simply because of their history. Like me, they’d grown up fast out of necessity, been left with the lifetime’s worth of baggage that went hand-in-hand with accelerated growth, and now weren’t really sure where they fit in the world. “We’ve seen some shit. Some real monsters too. And while it might be scary to see that first hand—”

“You told us once that we could quit. Step away for any reason.” Astrid’s voice was quiet.

“Of course. Though that’s a little beyond the point, considering.”

“Because we’re done now.”

“Yes.”

“And if I said I don’t want to stay on retainer?”

At first, I said nothing. I’d been open with the Strike Team about what we were setting out to do. Maybe it would have been wiser to obscure that. But I thought it was important that they knew there was an end in sight, and even more vital, that there was something for them when they were done. Sae I didn’t have to worry about—she was already a member of the merchant’s guild. Max had a cushy consulting position waiting at the adventurer’s guild, with a third-party ready to make the introduction.

The twins didn’t like big groups, so hooking them up with a Guild was out. Instead, I’d come up with the idea of keeping everyone on the strike team on retainer. They’d get a monthly payout in the form of easily achievable quests, and I’d have an emergency resource if the situation called for it.

But I knew why she was asking like this. While she held something potentially problematic for me in her pocket dimension. It was leverage.

Astrid was afraid of me.

“Have I caused you any hurt, or frightened you somehow?” I asked.

“No.” She shook her head, then shook it again. “No, you’ve been great to us. God knows Astria really looks up to you.”

“Then can I ask why?”

Astrid wiped her eyes again. “If it’s about firepower, Astria will stay on retainer. Probably couldn’t talk her out of it if I tried. I don’t think you’re going to come after me. It’s not about that. Before the strike team, I thought I was a realist. Like I knew how temporary life was. How quickly it could all be over.”

“But knowing and seeing are two different things.” I filled in.

“Yeah. Guess they are.”

It was difficult to stay rational. At the end of the transposition, when the less appetizing actions I’d had to take to fill the receptacle came to light, Astrid and Miles were the only two people who’d gone to bat for me. I’d helped her first, but it cost me nothing, while she’d burned her entire guild telling Rodrick to back off.

“Okay.”

If taking her off retainer was what she wanted, I’d abide by that. But I would not use her reticence as an excuse to ignore my debt and let her twist in the wind. I’d give Astria her share, doubling the remaining member of Gemini’s payout, which would trickle down as resources for Astrid one way or another.

“What, that’s it? Just okay?” Astrid blinked several times.

“That’s it. If we have to part ways, I’d much rather do so amicably. On one condition.”

She braced, setting her jaw as she waited for the other shoe to drop.

“Don’t be a stranger, stupid.” I lightly swatted the back of her head, and smiled as she scowled back at me. “Regardless of how you feel, I see you as a friend. And I owe you. If you’re ever in over your head, you have my contact info. Just shoot me a line. I’ll be there.”

With that, Astrid managed a smile, and all the weight she’d been carrying melted away. “Astria trusts you a lot. The way she used to trust me.”

I thought of Ellison. “It’s probably just a rebellious phase. That tension will fade.”

Probably.

“If you do end up calling her in for something, I’ll stand by so she can use the whole mana pool. Just take care of her, alright?”

I nodded and put a hand on the trunk. “Ready?”

When she confirmed she was, I opened the bottom compartment of the SUV. It was a secondary storage space large enough to hold two spare tires, a lot of gear, or an average-sized person. The sound proofing and carbon reinforcement were obviously after market. Astrid cast a spell, removing the kid from her pocket dimension directly into the compartment. He seemed hazy, out of it somehow, until his eyes locked on me.

The hatred in his gaze as we closed the compartment stuck with me long after I dropped the others off and they went their separate ways. I’d intended to talk to Sae about the potion that night, but by the time we got to the exit point, she was fading, barely awake.

Still, I couldn’t just leave it. I’d talk to her tomorrow, barring some greater disaster or unexpected bullshit. Actually, probably better to just commit to having that conversation tomorrow, regardless. If I kept procrastinating every time life threw me a curveball, I’d never get anything done. Max gave me a knowing glance as he left. He was more used to this line of work than Astrid, and probably assumed that regardless of what was stated, I was going to be professional and make sure there were no loose ends.

It bothered me because he was right. Blood had been spilled. The sort of blood this kid would never forget. Reality wasn’t fiction, though. There was no guarantee he’d go the Monte Cristo route. It was far more likely he’d either die the same way dozens of Users died every day in the dungeons, or simply be too occupied with surviving the chaos of the system to do anything else.

But I was all too keenly aware that there was a lesser chance I was making the same mistake Sunny made in the tunnel. The grave misstep of showing mercy to the wrong person.

Do the kid.

The voice from a distant memory left an unpleasant taste in my mouth as I drove mindlessly, looking for an isolated spot. No. No matter how bad it got, there had to be rules. And no matter how inconvenient his existence was, the kid was an innocent.

Were you an innocent?

I ignored Jaded Eye’s commentary as I drove up to the top floor of an abandoned parking ramp overlooking a park. Belatedly, I realized this was the first place I’d spoken to Sunny, when I was still looking for a way into the Order. Less that six months ago, but it felt a lifetime away now.

“Done.” Azure told me. “Didn’t take much to calm him down. I think whatever Sunny told him must have scared the shit out of him. He seems genuinely shocked he’s still alive.”

“Let’s get this over with.”

I left the engine going and killed the lights, got out, and popped the trunk.