In Which A Cheeto Attempts To Mind Control Dinosaur-Analogues
“You failed at one of the most basic Human proverbs, Aurelie,” DesUas sighed the next morning, when Aurelie eventually explained what had transpired in her conversation with her manager. “It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t realise I was asking permission, now did I?” Aurelie muttered, screwing up shreds of current event papers and aiming them for the office waste bin. “Bloody… safety of the Space-Time continuum. Who do they think I am? They do realise that I understand time travel a lot better than any of them, right?” She checked her watch. “I wonder if I can get Alvedo to pick me up some caffeinated beverage when he comes back in for his shift.”
“You don’t need caffeinated beverage, you need to grow some gonads.”
“Grow some gonads and do what?" Aurelie grumped. "Disappear off so that I end up being fished out, sentient being only knows when?”
“I swear, it’s like as soon as you start thinking of your home planet all your intelligence flees the vicinity. It won’t take you a full four hours to figure out your displacement number- just go for the duration of a single window. Hell, reroute us on our way back from our next call-out if you think that would make it easier. It’ll take 10 minutes at most.”
Aurelie’s reply was cut off by the shrill noise of the infraction whistle. DesUas pushed herself to her feet, towering over the Human, and smirked.
“Time to put your money where your mouth is. You’ve spent the past five years refusing to have a life because you’ve been trying to find home; are you really going to back down now?” The Aredbyne rolled her shoulders. “Besides, you don’t even listen to hir for such trivial matters as caffeine intake and sleep schedules. Why start now?”
Aurelie smirked back.
“Well, when you put it like that… I suppose we’ll have to have a layover on the way back.”
“Maybe I’ll accidentally put my gut on the control panel and redirect us.”
“That would be very unfortunate.”
“Though not the end of the world.”
“Well then, let’s get going.”
Aurelie had never been to any of the Romero universes. A quick scan of the atmosphere of the planet on their arrival yielded high, though not toxic, levels of methane and lower than adequate oxygen levels.
“Do you think I’ll die if I sneeze on this planet?” she asked DesUas, clipping the oxygen cannula firmly against her septum. The sharp pinch made her eyes water briefly. DesUas smirked.
“You should show Cora how you look with that on, it’ll really help you finally get a date.” The Aredbyne sniggered. Aurelie’s face began to warm, and she glared.
“You say finally as though I’ve been trying. Me and Cora are co-workers. Nothing more, nothing less, and no energy has been expended on my part trying to change that.”
“But a lot of energy has been expended on trying not to change it.” They began to walk, DesUas not needing to bother with the cannula. Though very Human in mannerisms and personality, physiology- and social structure-wise Aredbynes were very different. They were a semi-aquatic reptilian like race, with three sexes and 18 genders that together created an incredibly convoluted community network. On first contact with Humans, the Aredbynes had spent several hours trying to translate and explain the varying pronouns and social nuances. However as a race they were not known for their patience, and at the half day mark had thrown in the towel and decided to all just go by ‘she.’
Aurelie was reasonably certain that DesUas was neuter, and that DesUas was planning on just not breathing for the duration of their visit. Neither would have been polite to ask about. (Alvedo, their resident allodaponology enthusiast, didn’t let ‘social norms’ get in the way of what he felt to be pertinent questions, but Alvedo wasn’t here and Aurelie felt awkward.)
“Oh, come on,” the Human muttered to herself as it began to hail. The landscape around them was flat and oddly hazy, and the salt pan they were walking over quickly turned to sludge. “Who or what are we even trying to find?”
“Something or someone called a Dinerburg. Mature male. Originated in Romero Q, but seems to have been bouncing around the various Romero universes for a while.” Aurelie rolled her eyes.
“Probably forgot which universe he came from. Dumbass. Hey, pull up what Dinerburgs look like, and any traits they may have. I want to know if we need to expect trouble.” DesUas tapped at the screen, then stopped in her tracks. Aurelie paused, looking back over her shoulder. “What’s up?”
“They’re mammalian.”
“Yes?”
“They’re hyper social and can have up to 5 conversations at once.”
“Weird but okay.”
“They’re on average 3.7 cm tall.”
Aurelie blinked, then snorted, gesturing to the salty sludge beneath them.
“This layer of muck is deeper than that! What are you saying, we have to run to get to him before he drowns?” They both began walking again, DesUas’ gaze still fixed on the screen.
“It gets worse.”
“Oh, I’m sure it does.”
“They’re shy. Incredibly shy. It says here, unlikely to make first contact, and unlikely to respond to contact unless it is done in a welcoming and friendly manner.” Aurelie dragged a hand down her face, then had to scrabble to reattach the cannula.
“Fantastic. So we’re hunting for a tiny, timid creature in at least a decimetre of sludge? How could this get any worse?”
“Well, the good news is that we’re close.” DesUas opened her mouth to continue, but Aurelie froze and grabbed her co-worker, yanking her back mid-step. “What-“
“It just got worse.”
In the salty mud before them lay a gigantic footprint, at least a metre wide. Aurelie could see more passing in front of them, crossing from left to right, the marks of a gigantic creature. DesUas whistled.
“That’s a big footprint,” said the Aredbyne.
“Any chance that it was here before the storm began?” asked Aurelie.
“With this much rain? Very little.”
Aurelie pulled her sopping hair back from her face and tried to scan the landscape around them. It faded away within a few hundred metres, obscured by whatever was causing the haziness. She grimaced, then grabbed the screen from DesUas, wiping the water off and squinting at it.
“But there’s no mention of sentient life on this planet, what gives?”
“Not all life is sentient, Aurelie. You really, really need to get out of the SC more.”
Aurelie opened her mouth to reply, but froze at the low growl that suddenly rumbled behind them. From the corner of her eye, she could see DesUas grimace. Both reached for their rays, and slowly pivoted.
It was big. It was ugly. It looked like someone had given a deformed Aredbyne growth hormones, beat it to disfigurement and left it to rot. The leathery skin was hatched with scars, the yellow eyes were narrowed to slits, and Aurelie could see a chunk of rotting flesh caught in its teeth.
“Food?” It asked.
“Not food,” Aurelie said, loudly and slowly, fear making her voice quake.
“Food?”
“Not food,” she repeated, cursing internally. That was the issue with the translation headsets: just because a creature was capable of basic thought processes did not mean it was capable of proper communication; they needed something that could make the creatures around them smarter.
Perhaps something that could also work on other individuals in the office now that she thought about it.
“Food.” The creature stepped forward, seeming to have decided, and snapped Aurelie’s attention back to the matter at hand.
“Poisonous!” she yelled, forcing down the instinct to flee- there’s no way she would be able to outrun this thing, even if the slimy layer wasn’t up to her ankles at this point.
A hailstone ricocheted off the beast’s head and into Aurelie’s face, as though to drive the point home.
“Very poisonous!” DesUas yelled, catching the creature’s attention. It swivelled its head and stood up straighter, evaluating the Aredbyne.
“Juvenile?”
“What? Wait, no, I’m not-“
“Hatchling.”
Before Aurelie could so much as blink the beast swooped forward, moving impossibly fast for something that size, and scooped up a thrashing DesUas.
“Put me down, put me down you useless excuse for a reptile, I’m not a hatchling I’m a different race entirely, I don’t even come from this sentience-forsaken planet-”
“Nest.” Was the creature’s only response, muffled by the government agent in its mouth.
Aurelie hesitated, hand on her ray. The device used electrical impulses to temporarily paralyse adversaries, but the highest setting- which, realistically, was the only setting which had a chance of being effective against such a large being- would be extremely injurious, if not fatal for DesUas if they were in contact.
Given the cry of “get your filthy tongue off me!” she heard shrieked from above, it seemed likely that they were in contact.
She wanted to yell to DesUas, to ask what she should do, but she was also afraid of catching the beast’s attention again and being re-added to the day’s menu. At least DesUas’ seemed to have triggered some parental instinct, rather than the desire for food. Distracted as she desperately tried to formulate a plan, she didn’t notice the creature starting to turn until it was too late. The tail slammed into her at high speed, knocking her clean off her feet and flinging her head over heels back into the mud. A sharp pain bloomed just below her ribs, and the last thing she saw was a scrap of her uniform hanging off one of the creature’s many spines before the world went black.
--
Aurelie awoke to throbbing bruises where the hailstones had hit her. The slash in her uniform revealed a crimson smear, but how much of that was actual blood and how much was rain-diluted she couldn’t be sure. Checking her watch, her heart sank as she realised she had a little over two and a half hours to both find a tiny perpetrator with social anxiety and to rescue her colleague from a giant lizard.
In knee deep mud while being bombarded.
Reaching into her gear bag, Aurelie began by pulling out a collapsible umbrella. After three unsuccessful attempts to plant it firmly, she sighed and crawled under its lopsided shelter. Wiping the screen off again, she bit her lip and tried to think.
DesUas’ tracker was a red dot, flying rapidly along, but at least it was moving back towards the Space-Time Machine. Aurelie’s own red dot was stationary, and so close to the green dot of the teeny tiny object of their attentions that only a sliver of green crescent could be seen out from below her own dot. The coordinates underneath confirmed it- he was within a hundred metres of her, and there a good chance he’d seen it all go down- if nothing else, he’d certainly heard.
So, she might as well start with that. Checking that the microphone aspect of her translation headset was still on, she peered around.
“Hey!” she called, then winced- timid, shy, approach in a friendly manner… right. “Excuse me, sir? My name is Aurelie Jane and I work with the Bureau of Time Management. We believe that you may be lost and or in distress, and we’ve come to help you. Can you hear me? Sir?”
She stopped and listened for a response. Nothing.
“Sir, please let us help you? I know you’re nearby. We need to move quickly, as there’s only a limited time period in which we can assist you. I don’t mean you any harm, I swear. Please, sir, if you can hear me, make yourself known.”
Still nothing. Sighing, she put her face into her hands.
Aurelie Jane had dealt with a lot over the past few years. Though most calls were for individuals who were lost or confused, and grateful for the assistance, she’d dealt with her fair share of thieves, smugglers, would be assassins, and large event manipulators. They joked amongst themselves that they were glorified desk jockeys, but there had been several occasions where things had gotten violent.
This, however, was a whole different ballgame. Squeezing her eyes shut, she fought down the rising panic; just because she was a Human did not mean she was incapable, or prone to hysteria. She would figure this out. She would make this work.
“Oh no, are you crying?”
“Oh my god!” Aurelie flew backwards, propelled by the strength of her upper arms alone, at the shock of hearing the voice. Immediately she crawled back. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you. Hi. Sorry, I wasn’t going to cry, I was just thinking. I’m Aurelie.”
“Yes, you said. My name is Jeffereenee Golfwyn, I’m sorry it took so long to get to you, it was a long way, and one of the hailstones injured my leg.” Squinting, Aurelie could see that yes, one of his legs was at a different angle to the others.
Jeffereenee Golfwyn looked like someone had braided Human hair and then cut off the tuft that stuck out below the hair elastic. He had seven legs, arranged asymmetrically at various spots on his lower body, and three jewel-green eyes blinking out at 120 degrees to each other. A teeny tiny translation headset was perched above these eyes. His mouth was not visible on Aurelie’s quick, hopefully discrete, inspection. But she was sure there was a mouth there somewhere, because as she looked he continued to speak.
“I assume you were sent from the Bureau of Space Time management to both assist and arrest me. Well, do not worry, I will not resist either, as I need the assistance far more than I fear the arrest, and as the inevitable atonement for my hubris will at the very least be justly dispensed at the hands of your venerable organisation, which is more than I can see for the corruption that is rampant within our own courts of law.”
“Yeah,” said Aurelie, pulling herself to her feet. “Maybe we could walk and talk? I only have limited time to find my colleague and get us all back to the SC. Do you mind if I carry you? It’ll be faster that way.”
“Of course, and of course, my esteemed lady! I would be so lucky to view the world, as a dwarf stood on the shoulder of a giant in the most literal manifestation that that particular expression is ever likely to know. I understand the pressing nature of the standard time unit, too, being quite well versed in the intricacies of time travel myself, though perhaps without the innate human flair.”
“Is that the case?” Aurelie packed up the shelter as quickly as her aching body could manage, swung Jeffereenee Golfwyn onto her shoulder, and began walking as briskly as was possible through the compounding mud back in the direction they had first come. Occasionally she spotted a remnant of their tracks, but for the most part they were already washed away. “Then how did you end up lost in a salt plain full of giant monsters?”
“Gentle employee, this salt plain full of giant monsters was exactly where I had hoped to be! Though not, perhaps, in the situation in which you found me. You see, I have studied allodaponology for more time than you have been alive, judging by the unwrinkled skin upon your brow, and knew precisely the beasts that roam this land. I suppose, however, the jig is up and I must explain to you my nefarious plan.”
Glad that he couldn’t see her expression, Aurelie grimaced.
“You’re right. Honestly, it’s in your best interest to tell me everything now. I’ll tell the court you gave me your full cooperation.” She tried to imagine him maintaining this level of verbosity through five different conversations, and the thought alone left her exhausted.
“Truly you are every bit the noble spirit I first perceived you to be. All right, I will give you my confession in full as we traverse this barren plain, but first I must ask you, is it such a sin to desire a grander stature in life? Though wealthy, well educated, handsome and intelligent, in all degrees a prize specimen of my race, I have perceived myself as unfairly snubbed on the multiversal stage due to my comparatively diminutive size. While others of my extended clan have been content to remain in the shadows, toiling through their thankless research without so much as a footnote in the annals of notoriety, I believed us deserving of, if not standing ovation, then at minimum any ovation at all.”
On the screen, DesUas’ dot had stopped moving. If she had indeed been taken to the nest, then it appeared to be conveniently close to their Space-Time Machine. Aurelie breathed a sigh of relief, scarcely able to believe their luck- this would make things so much more manageable.
“So, for the last approximately 85 Human years, in addition to my allodaponology I have also been researching mechanisms of consciousness and xenophysiology, as well as investigating all semi-sentient creatures in all the known universes.”
“All 1703 known universes, each with an average of 25 subsets?” She heard a sniff from just below her left earlobe; if she tilted her head slightly, she could watch him from the corner of her eye.
“Well, why did you believe it took so long?”
Aurelie shrugged, then had to quickly catch him as he stumbled off her shoulder. With a muttered apology, she replaced the loquacious fuzzball and meekly asked him to please continue.
“It was a toss-up between dinosaurs from the Hominus universes and Eyiyiyeres, which are these creatures here, but eventually I placed my gamble on this planet. I see now the error of my ways.”
“I’m sorry, what was that word?”
“Di-No-Sore.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, instead contenting herself with the mental image of Jeffereenee appearing on the Chitinous Farers home planet demanding access to their dinosaurs.
“No, the other one. The thing that kidnapped DesUas.”
“Eyiyiyeres.”
“One more time, please.”
“Eyiyiyeres.”
“Yeah, I’m just going to call them reptile monsters, I don’t think Humans can pronounce those sounds. Let's move on from that for now. What’s the connection between your tininess and the giant reptile monsters?”
Jeffereenee puffed up with pride, reminding Aurelie of certain snackfoods that some of her colleagues (Alvedo, mainly) would eat at their desks while working.
“The way I perceived it, we were being unfairly written off before other races even saw what we were capable of. So, I've spent decades in Human years perfecting a device that will allow me to seize control of the motor reflexes of semi-sentient creatures such as these… reptile monsters, as you insist on calling them, allowing their movements to become synchronised with my desires."
"Just their motor reflexes?” Aurelie frowned. “Not their consciousness or anything?"
"Oh no, that would be far too intensive and strenuous an undertaking with no perceptible further benefit."
"So you wanted to trap them within their minds while you controlled their bodies?" She pressed.
"My dear Human, I don't believe you understand--these creatures are simply semi sentient, they're not fully thinking, rational beings like you or I."
"Sentient enough that the translation headset was able to parse some of its communication,” Aurelie shot back.
"Communication? The grunts it makes?” He snorted. “Those are guttural, base instincts at best."
"Sentient enough to differentiate between prey and juvenile, at least in theory, and treat them differently based on that.” She couldn’t help the bite of anger creeping into her voice. “All I'm saying is, it seems pretty messed up to me."
Jeffereenee no longer looked puffed up and pleased with himself. Taking a glance out of the corner of her eye, Aurelie s best guess was that he was glaring at her, or doing the Dinerburg equivalent of.
"True genius is always scoffed at and doubted by those nor advanced enough to recognise it for what it's worth."
"True genius doesn't need to announce its genius,” she snapped. “Where's the machine now, and where's your space time machine. I may have to radio in for another crew to come fetch it."
"Radio waves?" He asked.
"Old expression- it uses a genius technology that’s beyond my understanding."
"I can sense that you are mocking me, but I'm going to be the metaphorically larger individual and ignore it. Unfortunately my motor control device, in addition to my space time machine, were crushed underfoot by one of the Eyiyiyeres within mere minutes of my arrival.” He sighed. “A devastating loss, really, compounded by the relief and grief felt when I spotted you and your coworker approaching on the horizon. Now I am shackled, as there is no way for me to escape undue punishment."
Aurelie decided to be both metaphorically and literally the bigger individual, and bit down her snarky response. Instead, she focused on the screen, and the small red dot that was DesUas.
It took about half an hour of hard slogging to get back to the Space-Time machine; once arrived, Aurelie began unloading the big guns, including those that were ballistics based so that, if nothing else, she could shoot the creature in the leg without injuring DesUas. Jeffereenee, who hadn't deigned to reply to her not deigning to reply, perked up again at the sight of it.
"Oh excellent! Which one is mine?" Aurelie laughed.
"Firstly, criminals don't get weapons. Even non-violent criminals, but especially those with the intention to mind control other beings. Secondly, even if you weren't a criminal, the bullets in this thing are the same size as you; try and shoot it and you’d injure yourself more through recoil than anything you shot at.
"But then how am I supposed to defend myself?"
"You’re not." Aurelie paused: she had planned on leaving him behind, but the moment that was examined it revealed itself to be an exceedingly stupid idea. "You're going to sit on my shoulder and on the way tell me everything you know about these guys, and then when we get there you're going to shut up. Understood?"
"Understood." His voice was sullen, but Aurelie didn’t have time to care. She grabbed the biggest first aid kit, dumped the filthy umbrella and switched out her overcoat for one that was more weather proof. Then she jammed the guns into the various holsters, took a deep breath, and re-emerged into the elements.
--
After 25 excessively long-winded minutes, Aurelie had four takeaway points: the Eyiyiyeres had exceptionally good vision, very fast reflexes, were terrified of loud noises, and could not turn quickly.
“So what you’re telling me is that if I run in a zig-zag pattern away from it, it would struggle?”
“Yes, I believe this would be the case. This, of course, is predicated upon your various zigs and zags being neither too long, so that the female can catch up to you, nor so short that she can reach you with her neck despite running in the opposite direction to you. The success of your endeavour also requires your angles neither be too acute nor too obtuse, and must definitely not be a reflex angle.”
“Yeah, well obviously I’m not going to run back towards the giant carnivorous reptile, I’m not a- you just wanted to show off your foundational trigonometry knowledge, didn’t you?” Aurelie took his silence as all the reply she needed, and began to organise various bits of kit into an easily-reachable pattern. Before them, a large hill was starting to rise out of the heavy downpour. At the base of it was a cave entrance, strewn with the bones of what Aurelie could only assume were previous meals. She grimaced and shuddered, stepping over them gingerly.
“Please tell me you have a plan? Please tell me you’re not bringing us into this creature’s lair with an agenda that consists solely of ‘don’t get eaten’.”
“Of course I have a plan,” she hissed, voice dropping as they reached the mouth of the cave.
“Oh excellent, what is it?”
“It’s called shut up and watch, small fry.”
Shouldering her largest gun, Aurelie pulled out a small torch with her other hand and set it to warm diffusion, so that it cast a soft beam of light that only illuminated approximately a metre and a half in front of her. Moving slowly, careful not to stumble, Aurelie made her way deeper into the cave, following a winding tunnel. A warm wind emanating from deep within rustled past her, sticky and humid. With the same hand that was holding the torch, she was also dropping small, grey capsules. Ears pricked for the slightest sound, she could practically hear Jeffereenee’s curiosity and fear.
As she progressed deeper into the cave, her anxiety began to mount. Depending on how deep it was, they might not be able to zig-zag to any degree. And what if they hit obstacles like rough terrain or flooding? This anxiety was compounded by checking her watch: 31 minutes to get DesUas, escape the angry reptile mother, and get out.
Otherwise they would be having a Space-Time bureau team sent down after them, and who knew when that would be.
Rounding a corner, all of this flew from her mind as she took in the sight before her. In her ear, she heard Jeffereenee gasp.
The room before them was more of a cavern than a cave, illuminated by a pulsing red stone far above that cast a blood red hue over everything. The cavern appeared to be two levels tall, with the protrusion they were stood on about halfway up one wall. The floor below them was scarred with deep grooves, as were the walls around them. Aurelie could see three more wide tunnels leading out from other points in the cavern. The wind was strong now, whistling by her ears, hot and dry enough that she could feel her lips start to crack.
Several metres down, the giant reptile creature curled up, fast asleep. From the middle of the curl, locked in by several layers of snoozing lizard, was a very unhappy DesUas.
“Psst,” hissed Aurelie. Her co-worker perked up at the sound of her voice and began to search for her. “DesUas. Up here!”
“You can speak normally,” replied the Aredbyne, voice echoing in the cavern. “This thing is essentially comatose. I don’t even know what could wake it at this point.”
“Well then get over here!”
“Do you think I haven’t tried? Aurelie, I’m fairly certain I’ve lost all circulation to my legs; I’m currently numb from the waist down. Unless you can somehow pull me out, I’m not moving until this thing wakes up.”
Aurelie frowned: waking up the Eyiyiyere was really the last thing on her to-do list. Looking up, she noticed an outcrop of rock several metres away from where she stood with Jeffereenee. An idea began to take hold. She checked her watch: they had 26 minutes left before the time window ended. Not a lot of time for more brainstorming- she had to act.
Dropping to a crouch, she pulled out a coil of super thin, super strong twine: it had a diameter of just 0.8mm but was able to take up to three thousand kilograms of force. When unrolled, it was 25 metres long. Tying one end to a fair-sized stone she found, she looped it over the outcropping and then aimed the stone for DesUas.
The Aredbyne twigged the plan, and grinned widely.
The first attempt missed by a mile, as did the second, with Aurelie reeling the stone back in each time. The third time, rather than throwing it, she took aim and swung it, pendulum style to her co-worker. DesUas caught it, untied the stone, and quickly tied the twine around a loop in her work uniform usually reserved for holsters and the like.
They had worked together long enough that there was no need for Aurelie to explain: DesUas just knew, and when finished, she gave Aurelie a thumbs up. Aurelie wrapped the other end of the string around her hands and grimaced. In an ideal world, with more tools and more time, she would have found a pair of gloves, or shredded up her shirt to use as padding. However, her world was not an ideal world.
This was the part that was going to hurt.
Bracing her feet against the wall, so that she was hanging near horizontally from the twine, Aurelie began to pull with all her strength, while far below her DesUas began pushing herself upwards. Jeffereenee was blissfully silent as he clung to her jacket, probably aware that his size meant he would be no help at all in this endeavour. That, or maybe the sight of the reptile creature had shocked him into muteness. Either way, Aurelie was grateful.
Slowly, millimetre by excruciating millimetre, DesUas began to rise. Aurelie’s muscles were burning, the narrow twine cutting deep grooves into her skin. Her legs began to extend, as the other end of the twine got closer.
Then, with a soft pop, the Aredbyne was out.
Aurelie fell flat on her back, all the air in her body seeming to rush out in single whumph. And for a moment it was all she could do to blink at the stony ceiling above. Below, she heard murmurs and rumblings and her co-worker muttering oh no oh no oh no over and over again in ever increasing volume, but currently her entire body was a mess of pain from her slick hands to her aching head which had whacked against the rock. For now, she wanted to just lie still.
“Oh no- Aurelie, get up now!”
And then DesUas was on the ledge and bearing down upon her at full speed, grabbing the front of her shirt and half carrying, half dragging her out of the cavern and towards the cave through which they’d come. Aurelie snapped out of her daze, and planted her feet at the entrance, twisting back. A very large, incredibly angry lizard creature was bearing down upon them.
“Close your eyes!” she yelled to DesUas as she whipped her weapon out her holster. The Aredbyne complied and she looked to the roof just ahead of the creature, took aim, and closed her eyes as she squeezed the trigger.
BANG!
Even through the membrane of her eyelids, Aurelie could see the white magnesium as the flare gun detonated. The creature roared, and when she looked it was staggering backwards, disoriented and blind.
“Run!” she yelled. Together, they hightailed it out of the cave as fast as they could, Aurelie’s torch turned to maximum brightness and width this time around. She could feel Jeffereenee clinging for dear life to her collar. As she ran, she made sure to step on each of the grey pellets, the pressure detonating the gunpowder within so that the noise would disorient the creature further. Emerging at the other end, Aurelie was relieved the rain had eased and the ground had already began to dry. It certainly made life easier as they dashed towards the Space-Time Machine, emitting a steady stream of curses. But behind them, she heard another roar, and then the steady thump of footsteps.
Great.
The footsteps grew louder, and she could hear its breathing now too, but the Space-Time Machine was in view. Steeling herself, Aurelie pushed through her burning lungs (and legs, and everything, really, it felt like her whole body was on fire) and sprinted. Beside her, judging by the cut off in expletives, she guessed DesUas was doing the same.
She tried to stop as they reached the machine, and skidded in the soft sludge straight into the side, wrenching the door open for DesUas to barrel in.
“Go, go, GO!” She screamed, hysterical.
“I’m going!” The Aredbyne yelled back as she punched buttons, equally hysterical but voice unable to reach the same pitch.
“Go faster!” Aurelie slammed the door shut, just in time for the entire space time machine to get knocked over as several thousand kilograms of angry reptile hurtled against it at high speed.
“Gone!” DesUas managed to slam the final button, and the machine whirred as they left the muddy plain behind.
For a second, they lay there in a filthy, breathless heap. Then the Space-Time Machine entered the new universe, and zero-gravity took hold. Jeffereenee propelled himself to the screen, before twisting back to face them.
“Correct me if I’m very much mistaken, although I rarely am, but that does not appear to me to be the coordinates required for our prompt return to the SC.”
“Astutely observed,” muttered Aurelie, trying to figure out which part of her hurt the most. Her everything, she decided. Jeffereenee puffed up smugly and DesUas squinted at him. “We’re taking a detour, to gather information.” Jeffereenee’s beam dropped, and he gazed up with a sombre expression.
“I sincerely hope you’re not planning on stream hopping.”
“No, no, we’ll be here for like five minutes at most.”
“We have eight minutes left of our window,” DesUas murmured.
“Two minutes at most. Honestly, we just need to arrive, record some data, and then we’ll be gone.” Jeffereenee peered at the coordinates again before swivelling back to Aurelie. A small, distracted part of her mind wondered why he needed to do that when his three eyes gave panoramic vision.
“Hominus G? Ah… a displacee, am I correct?” She shrugged and looked away.
“If things go to plan, not for much longer.”
“Hominus G is an ill-fated universe. Any home you would find here would not, I don’t believe, be much of a home at all.”
“Says the individual with such an inferiority complex he risked his life to mind control giant lizard monsters. Do the rest of us a favour, and keep quiet on things you don’t know about.” He moved as though to respond, but thankfully seemed to think better of it. Aurelie took a deep breath and glanced down at her wrist.
1004687319821
She jotted it down, then peered out the window of the Space-Time Machine.
They were drifting in a slow orbit, surrounded in nearly all directions by an inky blackness speckled with winking stars. Far below them lay a rich blue planet, topped and tailed with white, and patchworked with what she could only guess was landmasses. White gas coiled across the surface, forming mesmerising patterns. Aurelie’s breath caught, and for a long moment all she could do was stare.
“Is this Earth?” she managed finally. DesUas nodded, also entranced. “This is the Human home planet? It’s… it’s beautiful. Why would anyone want to leave?”
“Exploration,” said Jefferreenee. Surprised, she looked over to him. “Humans want to be exposed to sights, sounds, smells and information that they’ve never experienced before. It’s part of their deepest biology. Where did you believe their attitude towards ‘rolling with it’ when they have incomplete knowledge comes from? They don’t need the whole picture, just enough to move forward and experience the next new thing. For instance, you care not who your parents were or why you were displaced.” Aurelie glared.
“Of course I do.”
“In theory, yes, in the grand scheme of things no. What if they’re evil? What if they’re violent? Or they don’t love you? You don’t care. Not enough to let those questions stop you. You want to experience home, something you’ve not experienced before, though you don’t even know what home is.”
“Shut up. You don’t know the first thing about me.”
Aurelie turned back to the blue marble, glinting far below them. She couldn’t find the energy to be mad; she was too exhausted and too enchanted.
“We need to go,” said DesUas gently. Aurelie bit her lip and tore her gaze away before nodding.
“Yeah, yeah we do.” As the Space-Time Machine exited that particular segment of the multiverse, Aurelie turned back to Jeffereenee. “I have no way of knowing these things unless I return home. If there were another option…”
“You would go back anyway.”