Chapter 15 — FBI OPEN UP

Editors: PROCRASTINATOR & GREETER

 

[Ei’s POV]

 

Luna is coming to wake me up. Unfortunately, I don’t sleep. This means I can set up a trap for Luna… so now I’ve been standing behind my door for the past five minutes. I thought Luna would be earlier than this.

 

Wait, I hear footsteps. It seems Luna is here.

 

“Ei! WAKE UP!!”

 

Luna barges into the room.

 

“Eh? Where are you Ei?”

 

“Boo.”

 

“IIIIIIIIIIYYYYYAAAA!!!”

 

“Hahahahaha… I thought that wouldn’t work on you.”

 

“I had my guard down! And how long were you standing there?!”

 

“Only like five minutes…” (G/N: Just like the guildmaster.)

 

“*sigh* Let’s just get going.”

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

We arrived at the door of the house in the wall. Or, a hill, not a wall. It looks the same. I guess we’re just going to kick down the door.

 

“Ready Luna?”

 

“Yep.”

 

*crash*

 

“FBI! OPEN UP!!”

 

“????”

 

Luna doesn’t get it, but that’s fine…

 

“Who dares enter this place?”

 

A skeleton in a dark gray robe appears. It appears that this is, in fact, one of their bases. Hopefully the main one.

 

“Die. Again.”

 

Luna runs up to the skeleton and smashes it to bits with her two swords. Looks like these small fry won’t be any problem. 

 

We searched the room. Perhaps this place was an alchemy lab? I saw lots of potions lying around. 

 

Well, I think it would be a good idea to collect samples, so I’m just going to steal all of these potions…

 

“Ei! Look at this!”

 

“Hm?”

 

It seems Luna found something… What is this? Why are there eyeballs inside a jar? I don’t like this… I’m destroying it.

 

“[Fire Arrow]”

 

“What was that for?!”

 

“No eyeballs.”

 

“*sigh*”

 

There was nothing else interesting in the room.

 

We began to search the rest of the house. There was a musty study which had way too many books. I made sure to take all of them of course, who knows what they could be talking about? There was also a cursed looking kitchen… I decided not to look in the ice box because it would have likely ended badly.

 

“Luna, I found a secret exit. Are we ready to continue deeper?”

 

“Yep!”

 

***ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa***

 

It seems we were hit with a sudden earthquake. Looks like time is running out.

 

“Luna! We need to go faster, I think they’re almost done!”

 

I smash through a hidden trapdoor and we begin running down the hall. 

 

“Cease! Who dares encroach upon the sacred summoning of our gods?”

 

We don’t need to talk to small fries like that guy. I punched them so hard that they exploded. Impressive. 

 

We turned a corner and the hall changed into a dungeon. There’s nobody here though? What’s the point then?

 

*slam*

 

“We’re trapped!”

 

Portcullises slammed down on both sides of the room and with a rattle the iron bars opened…

 

“Huh… Seems like we have more fighting to do.”

 

From the six cells, six skeletal knights walked out. Maybe they will be a challenge.

 

“End… me… plea…se…”

 

“Sure thing!”

 

I ran up to the first skeleton, materializing my glaive out of my inventory. I parried his first attack, dodge under a second skeleton’s attack, and jumped above their heads. I then did a backflip and slashed the first knight, killing them.

 

“[Ice Shard Storm]!”

 

Luna sends a bunch of ice at the remaining knights. They manage to parry and dodge some of the ice shards, but for the most part they are pretty damaged.

 

“Cthulhu, go!”

 

I materialized the longswords that I got for Cthulhu and had them attack alongside me. They hit one of the skeletons on my right and another on the left while I parried the attacks of the two in front of me. 

 

Luna walked up behind another skeleton and smashed them to bits with a small explosion. Seeing as Luna has done more than me, I did a spin attack with my glaive and slashed the remaining four skeletons in half. They crumbled to dust.

 

“Any ideas on how to get through the portcullis?”

 

“I can smash it. It’s not like steel can stop me.”

 

“Eeeeehhh? Here, I’ll help out a bit! [Freeze]!”

 

The portcullis freezes over… that should help a lot. 

 

***ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa***

 

There go the earthquakes again. We really need to hurry up. I smash through the portcullis and we continue running. 

 

*boomf*

 

““AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!””

 

A trapdoor opens and we fall through the floor. Seems we got careless. I see some wolves at the bottom. I guess I’ll kill them while getting ourselves out of the hole.

 

“[Fireball]!”

 

*boom*

 

The wolves are burning to a crisp and we got launched back up the hole we fell into. I created some ice beneath us to catch our fall.

 

“That was fun!”

 

“I’d agree, but the trapdoor part wasn’t!!”

 

***ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa***

 

The tremors are getting worse… 

 

The next room looks a bit like a court. We’re on a large lowered area and in front of us is a raised platform. A skeleton with a black staff is standing there. 

 

“The cardinal was right. There were… intruders… Prepare… to die!”

 

Is this a skeleton mage? Can I have my first magic duel? Well, let’s hope it doesn’t end too quickly.

 

“Luna, let me handle this one. I wanna fight him!”

 

“Ei! You’re being a battle maniac again!”

 

“So? Stand back please.”

 

“Hmm… This could be… troublesome… [Death’s Lightning].”

 

The skeleton shoots out a bolt of black lightning. Finally, I can use my mana slicing abilities! I pulled out my glaive and sliced the lightning bolt. It stops existing. 

 

“What?! My magic… destroyed so easily? How… could a lowly… mortal…”

 

“Don’t underestimate me. Try something harder, this is boring.”

 

“You… you…!! [☟︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☠︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎]!” (A/N: Sounds like this)

 

Eh? What the hell was that noise?

 

“Die… you foolish mortal…”

 

A black hand(?) forms… Is it even a hand? I can’t tell, it looks like someone punched a hole in the fabric of reality. A really bad presence is coming out of this… I’m dodging! 

 

I barely slip out of the way in time, the fist(?) continues flying and slips into the ground. A hole into the ground… there’s no sound. 

 

*ping*

 

Not now ENTITY! I jump up, kick off the wall, and dash straight towards the weird skeleton. He tries to dodge, but Cthulhu slashes him as he tries to run.

 

***ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa***

 

I jump to avoid the quake and use the broken stance of the mage to smash his head in with my foot. Then, using the momentum of my kick in the air, I do a spinning slash with my glaive. 

 

Despite being in mostly pieces, the skeleton manages to talk.

 

“You managed… to beat my… puppet… impressive….. I will await… your arrival… See you soon…”

 

With that he turns to dust. What an odd guy. Although, that hand was kinda scary. Maybe ENTITY was commenting on that?

 

“Let’s go Luna, I have a bad feeling about-”

 

***ggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa***

 

The tremors are really getting bad…

 

『WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME?!』

 

… That is really bad.

 

Luna and I run into the next room and there’s another skeleton guy. He looks exactly the same as the one we just fought. Maybe this is what he meant when he said “see you soon”?

 

“You’ve arrived… just in time… to be our final… sacrifice… With this act… we will save… the cardinal…”

 

“What are you talking about?! Just die already! You’re going to destroy the entire town!”

 

“Like I… would care… now then… let us… begin… [✞︎⚐︎✋︎👎︎💧︎ ☜︎💣︎👌︎☼︎✌︎👍︎☜︎]”

 

The world begins to shatter around us.  As the world and walls shatter away, we are left standing in a black void. In front of us, floating there, is the skeleton mage. Behind him, there is another skeleton mage bent over backwards with a red stream of energy flowing out of his chest in the center of a purple circle. I guess that’s the cardinal?

“[☟︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☠︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎ ❄︎☜︎☠︎☞︎⚐︎☹︎👎︎]”

 

Ten black hands(?) appear again and charge at us.

 

“Luna, split up!”

 

“Got it!”

 

I go left while Luna goes right. 

 

“[Death’s Lightning]”

 

Several bolts of lightning come cascading at me. I throw up my shield and charge through them. The lightning bounces off my shield and flies up into the sky. The skeleton mage waves his hands and it redirects at Luna. 

 

“Luna! On your left!”

 

Heeding my warning, Luna barely manages to dodge the lighting… I send my shield over to Luna. Hopefully that helps.

 

“You would abandon your defense… for your friend? Foolish… [☟︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☠︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎].”

 

Right in front of me a black hand(?) materializes. I have a feeling I can’t cut that, so time to go. I jump up above it and cast [Gale Burst] to launch myself at the skeleton. Wait, shouldn’t we be moving for the summoning circle?

 

“[👎︎✌︎☼︎😐︎ 👌︎☹︎✌︎👎︎☜︎].”

 

Right as I’m bringing down my glaive onto the mage, he creates twin blades of darkness… almost like the hands but less menacing. Using them he parries my glaive, but you fool! You forgot about Luna and Cthulhu!

 

Luna comes up from beneath the skeleton; using the shield bits as stepping stones. 

 

“Sword Art: [Antipode Bomb]!”

 

*zoop* *BOOOOOOM!!!*

 

Before Cthulhu manages to get a hit in, Luna blasts all of us away from each other. Not ideal, but it should get some damage in.

 

“Smart… but the summoning… cannot be-” 

 

『WEAK! WEAK! WEAK! YOU FOOLISH MORTALS』

 

The entire void thingy shakes with the words of whatever is being summoned. The summoning circle is also changing color from purple to dark red that is slowly getting brighter. Wonderful.

 

Suddenly, several large bolts of black fire come hurtling at us from the cardinal. Luna uses the shield to create a barrier and I dodge a few and slash some others.

 

“You mortals… have no chance… now that the… cardinal is here… [☟︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☠︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎ ❄︎☜︎☠︎☞︎⚐︎☹︎👎︎]!”

 

Ten more of the “hand” things come out of the void. They’re really annyong to dodge with the background being black too. Dodge left, dodge right, jump up… Wait what’s that?

 

From beneath me comes a massive pillar of black fire!

 

“Ei! Look out!”

 

“[Ice Wall: Thousand PSI]!”

While Luna sends the shield at me, I create a black ice wall again. The flames smash into my wall and somehow manage to get through it… wait, that's really bad!

 

**crack** ***SHING***

 

The super compressed ice explodes…. 

 

“What?!”

 

Several of the ice shards pierce me, one ripping through my eye, another in my heart, a few in my lunges and stomach, and even more in my limbs. I land on the floor with a splat.

 

“EI!”

 

“I’ll.. be fine.. Give me a sec…ond.”

 

I manage to say as my consciousness fades…

 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆

 

[Luna’s POV]

 

The ice Ei created just exploded! I barely managed to dodge due to Vadina’s reflexes… but Ei got impaled! 

 

“EI!”

 

“I’ll.. be fine.. Give me a sec…ond.”

 

What do you mean you’ll be fine?!?! You’ve lost an eye! And you got stabbed in like 60 places!!

 

“You bitch! Die!”

 

Anger is coursing through me and Vadina feels the same. It’s time for these shitheads to die. The silver light that normally encompasses me, I feel different. My hair turns from its normal dark brown to silver… it also seems to be defying gravity?!

 

“What… no… IMPOSSIBLE… there can’t… be… not here…!”

 

The void is changing color, even if slightly. The world seems like a dark blue now, and a blizzard has formed around us.

 

“Thy time in this world is over. [Ice Shard Storm]”

 

That bastard gets impaled by one of my massive ice shards. In the background I can see the cardinal beginning to freeze over. You’re next.

 

“Thou shalt pay penance for thy sins. [Summon Iceberg]”

 

A massive chunk of ice, easily the size of several houses, falls on the cardinal. 

 

“[☟︎✌︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎ ☠︎🕆︎☹︎☹︎]. Did you think… a single ice spike… could kill a lich… like me?”

 

Silently a black hand grabs the ice and closes on it… leaving nothing behind.

 

“Maybe, but I sure as hell can!”

 

Ei is alive?! How?! She runs the lich guy through with her glaive and her cloak slashes him to bits with her sword! Time to finish that bastard off.

 

“Begone from this world. [Encroaching Ice]”

 

The sliced up bits of skeleton turn to ice and shatter. Now he’s dead. Your turn, cardinal.

 

We approach the cardinal. As we near, bends back forward, slowly in a jerking motion.

 

“You’re… too late… [Come Forth INSANITY].”

 

Then, he crumbled to dust. (P/N