Diary of a Teenaged Mimic

Dear Diary,

"Agency violation,

Justifies a Homicide,

If there's naught else to stop it."

Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Justified Homicide

Oh, fuckin' hell, I'm a poet now. Once you get shit like 'naught' on you, there's no way to get that crap off. It's like literary glitter, I tell you. Still, managed to stay in format and get my point across pretty well, I think. Better than yesterday anyhow. Not sure if future me will keep both verses to drive the point home, or rewrite one, or replace one.

The reason I'm not sure being twofold. First of all, the whole point of this is to make sure that people who are using me as an excuse for killing someone are at least doing it for reasons I'd approve of. Like, if somebody kills a wannabe rapist instead of just breaking their kneecaps, they might need some counseling, some anger management, some therapy, whatever, but they're at least applying consequences for a good reason.

The other reason being... I'm not sure how much we're really the same person. Like, yeah, I get it, my ladies make it clear that I'm me, just maybe me with a temporary, curse induced mental disability, but at the end of the day, what are any of us except memories? Like, I know the literal answer to that. We're bodies with muscle memory and habitual emotional responses and talents and, I guess I gotta add 'Souls', because I've literally seen my own stretched out in front of me, felt people touching it and shit. But I think memories play a big part in who we are too. Which, I mean, I guess she's got all of my memories. She didn't seem to take a long time to jot down those little instructions for me, which means the ladies didn't have to explain shit to her, which means she's... well, she's not riding around in the back of my head, but she's...

Fuck, she's 'me plus'. She's what I would be if I'd lived through all this shit they said she did. I guess that's made her a lot more self confident, if she managed to actually found a government and walk away from it, and run a whole military campaign, and manage to woo not just one, but three hotties. Plus occasional side pieces, if I'm picking up what Saffron's putting down properly? Part of me dreads something like that happening, because I think it'll be really weird, doing shit with somebody while my ladies are watching. Or even just, like, listening in the way Saffron and I did the other day with Marie and duBois. Who, for the record, had enough stamina and flexibility to impress my Murder Mittens. That was a weird experience. In one way, kinda like putting a hat on a hat. In another, holy shit fuckballs hat my ass up, because literally getting more intensity than possible with one set of neurons.

I kinda wonder about that. I've read a shit ton of Sci-Fi and Fantasy and Horror over the years. Just about all of it had characters with some capabilities well beyond the human norm. Strength. Endurance. Agility. Lifespan, and if you're wondering how that applies, you've never tasted the cooking of a nona who's spent her entire life perfecting like five dishes her nona taught her when she was twelve. But none of them, even the ones that mentioned it an offhand kinda way, talked about exactly what that meant for intimate shenanigans. Like, okay, yeah, sometimes they'd talk about 'oh, hours and hours', and I think I read one once about a shapeshifter doing some custom fit bullshit, but never anything about how with enough strength and I guess durability, dude can hold up the weight of a full grown woman with nothing but Tab A in Slot A. Or how if your spine makes a bog standard human spine look like an inflexible steel bar, you can put your Tab B in his Slot B while he's holding you like that.

Maybe I just didn't read enough Romance novels? Gotta fix that, there's a whole headboard full of them on the Bed.

Of course, to do that I'm gonna have to find some time when I'm not doing work that an OSHA inspector would have an aneurysm if she saw me doing it while also reading a novel and slash or polishing the pearl, because let's face it, the odds I'm gonna read a hot romance novel and not self service at some point approach zero, with the possible exception of reading while one of my ladies is providing that service instead, which both sounds objectifying and rude and holy shit I want to try that now, because despite my best intentions I am apparently not immune to propaganda.

Note to self: get Saffron a pair of booty shorts with the word 'propaganda' sewn across the ass.

Note to self, addendum: make her wear them at work under whatever else she's wearing.

So after spending the afternoon melting rocks, because Saffron handled the cutting, and the ladies and Maenads handled the carrying to and fro, we stepped everybody back to the suite at Lancaster House. Saffron immediately declared it bath night.

I started to whisper, then realized I could be quieter than that. Why not just wait until morning?

She stepped behind me, pressed herself against me and slipped her arms around me to lace her fingers through mine. Close your eyes and inhale, deeply, through your nose, my love.

If I'm gonna be a wife, I'm gonna be a good one, so I followed instructions and holy shit was I glad she had a firm grip on my hands and waist and, well, me. Why the fuck is a roomful of girl sweat turning me on this much. Not like locker rooms did it for me back at Eastside.

You spent a great deal of time in close quarters with women covered in the clean fresh sweat of honest hard labor then?

Oh. Yeah. Um. Not so much. So... bath night?

She spun around to my front, smiling, depositing my hands directly where that propaganda tag belonged. I'd offer you the option of a Revel, but some of the girls are too young, and it would be unfair to any of the ladies to force them to sit with the girls while the rest of us Revel.

Did... did you just offer me an orgy? I mean, like, suggest an orgy?

She pouted a little. I wasn't going to keep it secret. Then she sighed. Apologies, love. It took you so long to overcome the strange prejudices of your youth and just enjoy the just desserts you've earned, it frustrates me to think that you cannot just... enjoy them.

I snickered a little at that, and whispered, "bonobos."

She gave me all the side-eye and said, "excuse me?"

I smiled down at her and said, "no, no, no, I don't mean any bad kinda way. Just... Okay, you know what a chimp is?" I sent her a mental picture of a chimpanzee.

"A goblin? Yes?"

"Whoa. Really? Weird. Anyhow, there's another, smaller, similar species. Bonobos."

She frowned, the expression only half joking, and said, "is that so?"

I nodded. "Yeah. But where chimps are like, hyper violent little motherfuckers when they're under stress? Bonobos just fuck everything out. Happy? Let's fuck. Sad? Have some fuck, it'll make you feel better. Angry? Have some fuck to take the edge off. It's like British people and tea."

"I'm not sure I like you comparing Bag to some kind of lesser goblin."

I snorted. "Lesser? I said smaller. Obviously superior to the big ones in every way. Superior to Humans, too, now that I think about it. Also, at what point did you think this was a complaint?"

"I'm still not quite satisfied. After we're done bathing, there will be consequences for my naughty Goof."

I fell backwards into the Bed. "Why wait?" Been naughty? It's a healthy dose of fuck for you! Had to think those last words at her, because my mouth was otherwise occupied.

Between a hard day's work, a nice bath, and the thorough extirpation of my naughtiness through the best possible method, I fell asleep the moment my head hit the Marie acting as a pillow.

Dreamt of my ladies plus Karen feeding me assorted lady shaped treats. Plus beans and rice. Shrimp tasting rice. Weird. Not bad, just weird.

Woke up early, waited for Marie to breathe like she'd woken up, which she did just as Saffron stirred. "Hey, Marie?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how to make fried rice?" She twisted around to give me a pointed curious look, so I explained. "Don't remember exactly, but you take day old rice, throw it in a wok with butter and garlic and soy sauce, then add scrambled eggs and whatever else you've got in terms of veg and meat."

That got her licking her lips and looking intrigued.

What with bath time the night before for all the adults and older girls, we limited morning bath time to the little kids who'd stayed at Lancaster House the day before. That got us an early start at the Homestead, and I gotta say with more hands shit was coming together way faster than I thought it would. I mean, one of Saffron or I had to hop over and do the Mineral Bonding once the women had something in place, although Anna said she might be able to learn that shape if we didn't mind her watching. I sure as fuck didn't, because even if magic super glue had even more awful prankster possibilities than cyanoacrylate, she didn't seem the prankster type.

Around mid-day, Saffron stepped over to where I stood pouring Fire into yet another batch of rocks. "Love, could you check in on Siobhan today?"

"Everything okay?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking you to check in, would I?"

I laughed at that. "I think I could do this in my sleep, so no problem, but what am I looking for again?"

"She's coming home exhausted almost every night. Her work is important, and can be challenging, so it might just be, well, work, but I don't want her overdoing things when she doesn't have to."

I nodded. "Okay, why me?"

"Because as the Imperator, if I show up all work will stop, even if I ask them not to. You, on the other hand, have a reputation of aggressive informality and pitching in, so the worst that will happen is Siobhan has to show you how to do Heal Injury."

"Sure thing. Kiss before I go?"

She smiled, and as our lips met, thought, you're staying here as well, you realize?

"Yeah, just wanted an excuse to do this," I said as I pulled Siobhan around and kissed them both at once.

Like you need an excuse, my Hero.

I pulled away and met the gazes of half a dozen Cadets who stared at me with expressions ranging from thinly veiled fear to undisguised annoyance. "Oh, hey, sorry guys. Did I interrupt something?"

"High Priestess Darling was about to show us how to Shape Smite," said the annoyed one.

Siobhan nodded. "We've been testing it on those with minor Soul injuries, like severe Mana Depletion. It's not a panacea, but it seems to have some benefits. Would you like to demonstrate?"

You know you're gonna need to...

Of course. She grinned at me as she took control, whipping my hands through a pattern that seemed almost intuitive. Light flared as the Cadets stared, and the person on the bed jerked like they'd been goosed, then kinda melted into a relaxed puddle.

"So, did you need something, Champion Diaz?"

I put an arm around her waist and said, "Nah. The Imperator worried about you, so she sent me to make sure you weren't working yourself too hard again."

That got a frown. "I fail to see how having to entertain you while also doing my job will make it easier."

I turned her to face me, put my arms around her, and utterly ignored the looks from the Cadets. "Oh, hey, you do not need to entertain me, Siobhan. Tell you what. I'll just find a place to sit out of the way and watch. If I see something wrong, we'll talk about it tonight at home. Otherwise? I'm just a fly on the wall."

She frowned up at me, putting her arms around me in turn, as both of us ignored some whispered comments about cohabitation. "I can't just ignore you... wait, I've got it." She half turned and called out, "Mother Aetos!"

A genuine little old lady toddled around to look down the hall at us. Like, straight out of an Eastern European period piece or some shit. Dress that obviously started out black ages ago, but now had that kind of charcoal gray faded look to it. White, wispy hair held back by a kerchief. Even a dark gray lace shawl over her shoulders.

"Could you attend to Tabitha while she's visiting?"

The old lady nodded and waved me over. I gave Siobhan a quick kiss then followed her to a little area at the juncture of multiple rows of patient cots. Two dudes with honest to god quill pens sat at little tables copying scrap paper notes into big tomes. Mother Aetos pulled a chair out and shoved it toward me, then pulled one out from the biggest desk in the room and sat down on it. I chuckled. "Looks like you're in charge here."

She smirked at me then quietly, so as not to carry further than the two of us, said, "you forgot me."

I blinked. "How... the fuck?"

She shrugged, "been around long enough. Seen that look on a lot of people." Her smile got a little crooked. "Not to many of 'em girls, mind. But not none, either. Think my granddaughter gets that from me."

Holy fuckin' shit, I had no idea if Saffron got her girl kissing tendencies from her grandmother, but she sure as shit got her no fucks given, boss bitch energy directly from this old lady. "Uh. Yeah. Um... amnesia?"

She nodded. "Good."

"Amnesia is good?"

"Better than dementia at your age."

I stared, my mouth dropping open, until a laugh forced its way out. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."

We sat there for a bit, her watching the room, me watching Siobhan, until a pair of Cadets came through the door. One of them just opened the door, saw the other one in, and left, but the one who stayed stepped over to where Grandmother Aetos and I sat and held out her hand. I realized right then why she had her jaw clamped shut as hard as she could, what with all four fingers folded back to press against the back of her hand. Grandma looked up at her, nodded toward the nearest empty bed, then looked at me and said, "unless you want to?"

I shrugged, leaned over to take the Cadet's hand, and asked, "you ready for this?" She nodded wordlessly and closed her eyes. "Okay then. On three. One, two," as I said the word 'three', I pulled her fingers flat and shaped the mana into the spell, pouring it into her hand through my own. She squealed a little at first, but then let out a relieved sigh.

"Thank you."

Grandma Aetos nodded to the bed again. "Go sit."

"But..." the Cadet said, already moving.

"Sister Siobhan will want to check you out."

The Cadet stopped complaining and sat. I turned to Grandma Aetos, a little more in awe of her pure raw old biddy energy.

Before I could say anything she quietly said, "goddess?"

Matching her tone, I whispered, "yeah?"

She sighed, then said, "if you're my Patron, you're the one who comes along to pick me up when I pass, right?"

I grinned at her. "Like you're gonna die any time soon."

She just shrugged. "Hope not. But I'm older than I look. 'm I right about the thing?"

Dad? Is she?

If that's part of your agreement with her as your follower, then yes.

Thanks Dad, you're the best.

Still made me smile how giddy he sounded when he thought back, I know.

"Yeah, pretty much."

She just nodded, but I felt a weird kind of tingle a few moments later. "Kinda weird, having my wife's Grandma worshipping me."

"Didn't say all that, girl."

I laughed. "Cool."

So I spent the rest of the afternoon melting rocks at the Homestead and sitting with Grandma, watching Siobhan do her thing in the Infirmary.

Pretty nice day, overall.