Dial H for Heroics

Josie led the way into the hospital room. She looked things over, nodding at Emily

Budd who stood by the window. Caroline sat in her bed. She looked bored.

She didn’t look like she had been assaulted and tortured for an unknown amount of

hours.

“Madam Witch,” said Emily. She nodded back at Josie. “Eric has asked me to go with

Caroline wherever she goes.”

“You can skydive with us tomorrow,” said Jack. “Can you fish?”

“I have done so,” said Emily.

“Great,” said Jack. “Angelica is going to need help cutting the heads of the fish

tomorrow.”

“You’re not going to do that?,” asked Emily.

“That’s women’s work,” said Jack. He held up his hands. “I can’t soil my delicate

fingers like that.”

Josie rolled her eyes.

“Don’t be irritating now,” said Josie. “Has the nurse checked on you, Caroline?”

“They said I’m doing better than they expected,” said the princess. “I think they were

surprised.”

“I do good work,” said Jack.

“When you work,” said Josie. “Go check on Massa. If Caroline is good to go, we’ll

send her off with Beatrice to the training.”

“Um hum,” said Emily.

“And her illustrious bodyguard,” said Josie.

“All right,” said Jack. “I should make sure the dosage is working right.”

He left the room. Everyone else sighed.

“Caroline, you’ve met Beatrice,” said Josie. “She is going to escort you and keep you

out of trouble while you are staying with us. Since she is going to be responsible for

you, I expect you to listen to her and not cause trouble. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” said Caroline. “Hello, Beatrice.”

“Your Highness,” said Beatrice.

“Do you have any clothes?,” asked Josie.

“Just the shift the nurses gave me when I arrived here,” said Caroline.

“I guess I can make you a dress and boots to wear until we can set you up a

wardrobe,” said Josie. “Lois, please make sure the men stay outside until I can get this

done. Then Beatrice is going to take you to the girls’ practice, and then you have to

help Elaine.”

“Are you going to do magic?,” asked Caroline. “Emily and Case have told me some

things.”

“Really?,” said Josie. She glanced at Emily. The bodyguard smiled. “All right, this

isn’t getting you dressed.”

Josie pulled on Zatanna. She sent out a bird to wrap Caroline in fire. When it faded

away, she was wearing a pink dress with a medallion marked with a mushroom

hooked to the front. She swung pink booted feet off the bed.

Josie switched to Doctor Occult to make sure Caroline wouldn’t die on them if she

moved around. The scan said she was doing better than her average.

Josie let the persona go.

“Pink?,” said Caroline. She looked at the skirt of the dress.

“Magic,” said Josie. “If you want fighting clothes, you are going to have to scavenge

it while you are out with the girls. But the scan says you don’t have any physical

problems. You may have panic attacks, or unknown fears, but I don’t want to tinker

with that unless I have to.”

“I have had some night terrors,” said Caroline. “I’m hoping to fight them until they

are gone.”

“All right,” said Josie. “Go ahead and take them, Beatrice. Remember we can fix a

knee if that’s what it takes.”

“Yes, Missus,” said Beatrice. She gestured at Caroline and Emily to follow her.

“Don’t worry. I don’t fly high enough for you to get hurt if I drop you.”

Josie shook her head as the three young women left the room. Emily exchanged

words with the outside guards as they went.

“All right, Lois,” said Josie. “The next thing on the agenda is to send Jack up to talk

to June. Then we have to talk to Eric and Jane about the pay for the adventurers. Then

we have to talk to the Duke.”

“Will Caroline be safe?,” asked the Queen. She watched as her girl went off with

strangers.

“She is safe as she can be without being put in a cage for the rest of her life,” said

Josie. She became Zatanna again, and sent out a bird. She let the persona go. “Emily

is a proven fighter, and Beatrice needs the practice. Between the two of them, they

will make sure Caroline is kept out of trouble.”

“If they can’t?,” asked Lois.

“Then there will be a lot of dead people afterwards,” said Josie. “I’m more worried

about Jack deciding to light muggers up just to see how far they can fly from the

phaser bolt.”

“He might even have a competition to see who he can fling the farthest,” said Lois.

“Please, do not ever say anything like that in front of Jack,” said Josie. “He would

love to do something like that.”

Lois smiled at the younger woman.

The guards had started away from the door with their duty done.

“You guys know where Jane or Eric are?,” Josie called.

“I haven’t seen them,” said the left guard. “I imagine they will be downstairs if they

are here.”

“Thanks,” said Josie.

They followed Jack’s voice to Massa’s room. He seemed to be asking questions about

how she felt. Josie imagined that being stuck on the toilet for a day and a half had not

been the brightest part of her life.

“Everything is fine,” said Massa. “I have one more day, but the spines are gone, and

I am just riding out the rest of the dose. I will be back on my feet in a couple of days.”

“The others?,” asked Jack.

“Some of the nurses have already started on the treatment,” said Massa. “Madame

Harp and Fass are keeping me informed.”

“All right,” said Jack. “If things start going bad, have Jane call me. I’ll fly down and

see what I can do.”

“It is fine,” said Massa. “Madam Harp has stated that they might be using a quarter

of your pill elixir to make sure we aren’t causing too many problems as the growths

are broken down and expelled.”

“I like that,” said Jack. “I’m glad we didn’t have to double up the dose.”

“Jack, can you set up June’s gate?,” asked Josie. “Lois and I are going to talk to Eric

and Jane, and then the Duke. We have to make sure the adventurers are covered, and

I think you are right about seeing what we can do about the shadow board before the

auditors show up.”

“Sure,” said Jack. “It won’t be a problem to fly up and do what I have to do.”

“Once you have the gate in place, they can visit us any time,” said Josie. “We might

have problems with the Society. What’s our secondary approach?”

“We teach June how to make her own gates,” said Jack. “That’s the only other thing

we can do if they forbid us setting up to help her.”

“Go ahead,” said Josie. “Beatrice and Emily have Caroline. Elaine has the rest of the

girls. Emily said Eric wants her to stay with Caroline until we sort this out, so I guess

the second room is going to be used whether we wanted or not.”

“There’s precedent,” said Lois. “I assumed the Duke would lend members of the local

Watch to guard Caroline.”

“It’s better if they’re not involved,” said Jack. “I will be back to check on you either

today or the day after tomorrow, Massa. Tomorrow, I’m fishing.”

“I plan to be helping out by then,” said Massa.

“Don’t forget to drink water until everything gets back to normal,” said Jack.

“I won’t,” said Massa. “Now is not the time to be a worrywart.”

“Go ahead, Jack,” said Josie. She waved him on. “If you can get things set up fast

enough, you can get with Elaine and help her with the supplies.”

Jack waved before he left. He whistled as he went.

“I wonder where he picked that up,” said Josie. She frowned at the empty space. “If

you need anything, have Jane call me. I’ll do what I can.”

“It’s fine, Ear Ripper,” said Massa. She smiled. “I won’t besmirch your reputation by

suggesting anything like compassion or charity.”

“Best not,” said Josie. “Take care, Massa.”

Josie nodded at the Queen to follow her. She stepped in the hall. The best thing was

to call Jane. Then they could use that to find Eric, or Madam Fass.

“Jane?,” asked Josie.

“What’s going on, Josie?,” asked Jane.

“I am checking on the finances for the adventurers,” said Josie. “Have you seen Eric,

or Eileen?”

“Eileen is here in the administrative,” said Jane. “I just saw her go into her office.”

“Thanks,” said Josie. “Do you need anything?”

“No,” said Jane. “The cure seems to be working. Once our women are through the

program, barring any that are pregnant, we will start clearing the yard piece by piece.”

“If you have to expand the facility at the House, let me know,” said Josie. “I will put

Jack on it.”

“All right,” said Jane. “I will get with Hilda and a few of the others and see what we

would need if we have to take in more of your foundlings.”

“Thank you, Jane,” said Josie. “Elaine is keeping our books. Let her know if you need

more funds to operate. You probably won’t make anything off the hospital for a

while.”

“We are treating people the adventurers have found around the hospital,” said Jane.

“We are making pennies, but Madams Fass and Harp seem to think we are gaining

ground as far as helping people.”

“Thank you,” said Josie.

The conversation had taken them to the elevator. They descended down to the ground

floor. Josie looked around until she saw the sign for the offices. She led the way to

where scribes worked on bills, settling accounts. Nurses came on and went off duty

in one ready room where a scribe kept track of their hours. Another room was set up

for adventurers. And then there was a big office that Jane’s number twos shared and

discussed things.

Josie saw a sign that said Jane at the end of the hall.

Josie knocked on the door frame before she stepped into the room. Madam Fass sat

behind her desk with a set of ledgers in hand. She had a pen, ticking off what she had

added up in another book.

“Hello, Eileen,” said Josie. “This is Lois. She is guesting with us for a bit. I came by

to check on what I owed the adventurers for protecting the hospital and the

neighborhood. Are there any problems I need to look at before I move on?”

“I think everything is going smoother than it should,” said Madam Fass. “Strick’s

Strikers and the Rangers went with the prisoners to the capitol. We will get a bill from

the local hall to pay what the capitol hall paid them to ride as guards on the prison

train.”

“I will pay that as soon as it comes in,” said Josie. “Any word from the Duke about

our tax situation?”

“Not yet,” said Madam Fass. “Jane said that we are renting the building. The owner

will be liable for the tax.”

“Send an adventurer over to Lord Endwright with a note that I will pay the bill when

it comes in,” said Josie. “When I talked to him, he wasn’t sure he owned the building.

Apparently his wife seized the building first before I cleared it out.”

Eileen Fass lifted her eyebrows.

“There are probably a lot of buildings in the city that were probably illegally seized,”

said Josie. “I just so happened to seize this one back before I knew it belonged to the

Endwrights. Now that I am renting it, I am thinking about buying it if Lord Endwright

has the paperwork.”

“I understand,” said Madam Fass. “I will make sure to include that in the note.”

“Thanks, Eileen,” said Josie. “We have to talk to the Duke. Jack asked me to crack

the shadow board before we get busy again. If I can do that, maybe we can clean up

the Watch.”

“I never thought I would see anything like that in my lifetime,” said Eileen. “If you

can do that, maybe you will make a lot of people happier and safer.”

“I only care about my girls,” said Josie. “The rest is ancillary.”

“Sir Harp’s arm?,” said Madam Fass.

“Jack,” said Josie as if that explained everything.

“Eric told me how Jack was trying to matchmake you with him,” said Eileen. She

smiled at Josie’s rueful expression.

“You should have come to the dinner,” said Josie. “I would have picked you up.”

“Eric brought some of it home,” said Eileen. “It was delicious.”

“We’re sending June home to settle her business,” said Josie. “You’re welcome to

come by to eat with us.”

“I will talk to Eric,” said Eileen. “I know Thad would love some more of that cake.”

“Also assure Eric that I am going to hit those targets he wanted done,” said Josie.

“Lois said King Rickard is thinking of putting a bounty on the Montrose. Some of the

problem will be cleared up by that.”

“I’ll let him know,” said Eileen. “Eric is dealing with his uncle at the moment. The

old man is obdurate about adventuring when he should be trying to find a place to call

his own.”

“Maybe I should send him up north to be June’s minion,” said Josie. “I’ll think about

it. June knows him. Maybe she can give him something to do that isn’t too

dangerous.”

Josie looked around the office. She took a deep breath.

“Send the adventurer bill over to the Hole in the Wall,” said Josie. “I will pay their

wages as soon as I get it. Make sure that you keep protecting the neighborhood,

and keep the patients safe. I don’t want to replace the Watch, but I don’t want anyone

stabbing anyone if we can stop it.”

“I understand,” said Eileen. “We have a representative for the Watch that we can talk

to in the district. He has been helpful to us so far.”

“All right,” said Josie. “We have to talk to the Duke. We’re sending June off at

sundown. I don’t know when she is coming back.”

“I will talk to Eric,” said Eileen. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Lois.”

“I am impressed by what you are doing here and the necessary work you have to

do,” said the Queen. “I don’t think the Crown can duplicate the effort on its own.”

“In a few decades, you guys will be able to do the same thing on your own,” said

Josie. “It’s just no one has needed it here until now.”

“I see,” said Lois. “Why in a few decades?”

“Jack and I will have retired and the next generation will be taking care of the

planet,” said Josie. “We have to see the Duke and figure out what we need for his

problems.”

Josie nodded to Eileen as she led the way out of the office. She changed long enough

to whisk them across the city to the small building where the tax ledgers were. The

Duke had taken a small office in a corner where he could look outside in an alley. His

desk was covered with books, and a tea set full of cold tea. He nodded when Josie and

Lois plopped down in his visitor chairs.

“Ladies,” he said. He took another look and stood and bowed. “Your Majesty.”

“Lois is with me while Jack and the kids figure out who they want to threaten,” said

Josie. “Have you thought about what kind of house you want from Jack?”

“Please sit, Your Grace,” said Lois. “This is an extension of our business with

Caroline and nothing more.”

The Duke sat. He looked around.

“I’m sorry I don’t have anything to offer for refreshments,” said the Duke. “Please

send notice in the future. These surprise visits are a fright.”

“I’m sorry,” said Josie. She didn’t feel sorry. She wondered if that was how Jack felt

when he was scaring someone. “This is Lois, my aide for the day. The King has sent

her news, which I think you should know. Then we can get into the reasons for the

visit, and no, it is not to bother you about taking a house from Jack because I am

aware that you are scared of us, and what we can do. We still have personal markers

for the shadow board which means it can still be used, and Jack is going out of town

to fish and he wants me to figure out how to nullify it, or figure some kind of wedge

and let him shoot lightning at it either before he leaves, or after he comes back.”

“Lois?,” said the Duke. He sat back in his chair.

“Not many people call me that anymore,” said the Queen. “Rickard is sending

auditors to every duchy in the country to inspect the tax records. He is also declaring

all of the Montrose criminals. He is going to be sending official word soon to you,

and to the Adventurer’s Guild to secure manpower to arrest anyone marked out

like Rustam. Any records and ledgers you can seize would be good.”

“Jack didn’t say why the interest in the shadow board, but I think he feels that it

partially served the Montrose so they can steal from the Duchy,” said Josie. “And

most of the top ranks were at your uncle’s party and he mowed them down. Who’s

left in the city who could activate it and use the Watch?”

“It would have to be someone inside the local government, wouldn’t it?,” said the

Duke. “These papers are reports on our ledgers from the independent auditors I hired.

There are hundreds of false tax claims here. They are still looking and compiling the

reports for me. Most of it confirms what you found with your birds.”

“The King thinks they stole from the whole country to weaken it for war against your

neighbors,” said Josie. “Where did the money go?”

“Their own army,” said the Duke. “Their own supplies to get ready to start a

rebellion.”

“Your Grace,” said Josie. “Do you mind if I take a crack at this?”

The Duke waved his hand in a go ahead gesture.