Dial H for Heroics

Seven Boim Russ met on a mountain top. They ignored the scenery. They were in a

debate over what they should be doing. One wearing a Shemmarian uniform declared

that the Russ staying with Jack and Josie should kill them and their kids and take

what she could and bring their watches to Shemmaria for better use.

She pointed out that only the champions of order could use the watches. It would not

do any good for Shemmaria.

Killing the champions of order would still do something good.

The Shemmarian Russ didn’t see the blue dragon looming above her. The other Russ

moved away from the oncoming doom. She tried to turn around at the sight of the

shadow on the ground. A giant paw wrapped around her and picked her up.

“Are you threatening Matilda?,” asked the dragon, holding the Russ in front of the

blazing front of its maw. “I would like confirmation before I bite your face off.”

“Aviras?,” said June’s Russ. “Please don’t kill my sister. She wasn’t thinking

clearly.”

“Really?,” said Aviras. He slightly turned his gaze on the group of identical women

and their different clothes. He exhaled a small bit of flame. “Are you thinking clearly

now?”

“Hello,” said a little girl riding on top of the dragon’s head. “Aviras is really

protective of me.”

“Should we do something?,” Jack asked Elaine. His arm was around her waist.

“I think Aviras would listen to you, or Josie,” said Elaine. She frowned at the scene.

“So these are the sisters.”

“Here is June and Mister Warner,” said Jack. He released her. “Let me see what I can

do before Josie gets here and decides we only need one of them.”

Jack walked up to Aviras’s leg. He slapped the leg a couple of times to get his

attention. He looked up at his angry counselor.

“Hey, bro,” Jack said. “Hold her away from you when you pull her head off so the

blood doesn’t fall on Matilda. Got that? Hold her away, then pop.”

He demonstrated with his own hands.

“I understand,” said Aviras. “I was wondering if I should eat her.”

“I don’t know,” said Jack. “Do you eat raw food? I thought you would cook her a

little first.”

“Jack,” said the country wife Russ. “Is this your protection?”

“Your sister apparently was advocating for the murder of my partner’s youngest

sister, along with my murder, and Josie’s,” said Jack. “The watches don’t matter

because they don’t work for other people so stealing them means nothing, and the

Society will just arm some other bozo to take care of things. Technically we might be

talking about a violation of guest rights at the very least.”

“I would not do that,” said Houseguest Russ. “Please don’t kill Four. She is stupid

and not good with people.”

“What do you say, Aviras?,” said Jack. “Do you really want Josie to catch you going

back on your parole. She will be a tiny bit upset.”

Aviras focused all of his attention on Four. He exhaled another bit of flame. He

nodded to himself before he dropped the woman to the ground.

“She will be even more upset that someone wants to kill her Ducklings,” said Aviras.

“It will make being eaten by a dragon look merciful.”

“Thank you, Jack,” said Houseguest Russ. “Thank you, Aviras.”

“You have six identical sisters, Boim?,” said June. She frowned at the gathering.

“Septuplets,” said Mister Warner. He frowned at the women. “Not unheard of, but

strange.”

“Don’t move,” said Jack to Four. “I don’t want you doing anything that will get you

set on fire before this meeting is over.”

Josie joined the assemblage silently. She frowned at the scene. She crossed her arms

for a moment of consideration before she decided to get answers about why one of

the Russes had scorched hair, Mister Warner looked twenty years younger, and

Aviras was a touch angrier than usual. Elaine would be the one to give the straightest

answer in her opinion.

“What is going on, Elaine?,” asked Josie, attracting everyone’s attention to her.

“Apparently one of the Russ sisters wanted the Russ staying with us to kill all of us

and take your watches,” said Elaine. She gestured at the Russ on the ground. “Aviras

overheard the talk and decided that any threat to Matilda was not acceptable. We

arrived just in time for Jack to say something to keep the bloodshed to a minimum.”

“That’s a first,” said Josie. Jack grinned at her. “Shemmarian. What is it about

Shemmarians?”

“I told her I wouldn’t do it,” said Houseguest Russ. She frowned at Josie. “She is in

the chain of command for their army. They are always looking for things they can use

against other countries.”

“Like goblin trees, for example?,” asked Josie. She turned the full weight of her

attention on the Shemmarian Russ.

Josie heard she’s making the face, and noted June pulled their Russ back out of the

way with a hand on her shoulder. She just filed the motion because a small amount

of murder was running through her mind.

“She’s not with the Montrose,” Jack pointed out. “She doesn’t have the Makeover.”

“Neither did a lot of the soldiers we killed,” said Josie. “That doesn’t mean she’s not

involved.”

“What are you talking about?,” said one of the Russ dressed in black with a small

array of blades holstered on her person.

“Shemmaria kidnaped women from across the continent so they could experiment on

them to create an army of monsters,” said Jack. “We are trying to help some of them

back to normalcy right now.”

“You were doing what?,” said Housewife Russ. “What were you thinking?”

“Something happened to the operation,” said Four Russ. “The capitol was attacked.

Some silver bird in the sky told the entire capitol they had taken the source trees and

the personnel and they would bring the people back eventually.”

“The Society wanted it shut down as a danger to humanity,” said Jack. “So we shut

it down.”

“You shut it down?,” said Four.

“We shut it down,” confirmed Jack. “Your stupid operation would have unleashed a

tide of almost unstoppable monsters on your own stupid country and killed your

whole population and that of your closest neighbors, maybe the rest of the continent.

So we were tasked with shutting it down, and we did.”

“This is the Lich Queen job I read about,” said June. “The thing with the monster

mushrooms.”

“Yep,” said Jack. “The Shemmarians listened to some guy who wanted to destroy the

country, and went along with it without thinking about what would happen if things

got out of control.”

“How could you, Four?,” said one of the other Russes. “You know better than this.”

“I didn’t have anything to do with this,” said Four. “I just know about the operation

from the post briefings.”

“I don’t believe you,” said Ninja Russ. “Try again without lying, or we let the dragon

have you.”

“I like her,” Jack whispered to Elaine.

“Oh?,” said Elaine.

“She doesn’t hold a candle to you,” said Jack.

“That’s better,” said Elaine.

“The Committee authorized several operations that I am aware of in my position,”

said Four. “That was just one of them.”

“We are getting distracted,” said Josie. She seemed to have decided that murder was

off the table for now. “The monster army was a scam, Four. Accept that and move on.

We have your personnel. We are going to clean their infections out and return them

now that we have a place to do that. I want you to understand something, and hold it

dear to your heart. If something happens to my kids, or anyone I associate with, and

I trace it back to Shemmaria, I will authorize Jack to burn your country to the ground.

Every man, woman, and child will be reduced to a cinder. I am not your judge, I am

your judgement. Am I understood?”

“You can’t mean that,” said Four.

“Am I understood?,” said Josie. She concentrated on the Shemmarian.

“Yes,” said Four. She looked like she didn’t want to say the word.

“Are we supposed to be meeting like this?,” asked one of the other Russes. She wore

something like the tunic Elaine had worn to her first meeting, with another symbol

on it. The color was a shade of gray.

“The Society called the meeting,” said Josie. “They will be along in a minute. This

is probably about June’s evaluation for saving your sister.”

“Seven, what were you thinking?,” said the Housewife.

“Seven?,” asked June.

“I am the last, the seventh,” said Boim. “So Seven. I wasn’t thinking about winding

up in a box with some other person using my eyeballs because of the way they

looked.”

“The question is what are the rest of you doing here?,” asked Mister Warner.

“We talk across distance while we sleep,” said the priestess. “We catch each other up

on our days. Apparently some of us were hiding things from the rest, but that is

something we shall have to work on outside of this conference.”

“You look younger, Mister Warner,” said June. “Dyed your hair?”

“No,” said Mister Warner. “Jack came up with some kind of alchemy to smooth out

the wrinkles.”

“I just came up with a standard healing potion,” said Jack. “Yours just had a lot more

healing in it.”

“Will I turn into a baby?,” asked Mister Warner.

“No,” said Jack. “I don’t think so.”

A door opened in the air. Twelve figures in suits stepped through and took their seats

on thrones that appeared when they arrived. Zu frowned at the assemblage as he

settled.

“How do we start?,” said the center right leader of the Society. He tapped the arm of

his giant stone chair.

“Let’s start with the Russ sisters,” said Jack. He grinned. “I don’t think they have

dealt with you yet, and they might like to see how you operate up close and personal.”

“Step forward, Russes,” said Zu. He gestured for the seven to approach his throne.

“How do I get started with you? Number Four, your adopted country is about to

unleash an apocalypse on the world again. The books that you are putting together

unlock things you don’t want unlocked. I doubt that you will be able to deal with it,

but quests will go out about this. I would look for a way to cut this research off in the

future.

“Number One, Miles Counton is looking for you again. It is up to you how you want

to handle things.

“Number Three, your friend is still alive. You have the means to find her right here.

I think you know that now.

“Number Five, the rogue goblins were dealt with by Jack and Oliver. There are other

things about. They aren’t dangerous to you yet, but your position is becoming

untenable.

“Number Two, your church will close down because of the misuse of funds. You will

have to think of a way to keep your flock together.

“Number Six, there is no way to get a cure for your employer. He will die. You will

be blamed.

“Number Seven, at the moment you are being considered as an auxiliary champion

of order. How do you feel about accepting this position?”

“Say yes so I can move my big lunk of sister out of my house,” said Jack. His big

lunk of a sister swatted him on the back of the head. “Hey!”

“Josie and I talked about this possibility,” said Seven. “What does this work entail?”

“You will be expected to carry out the quests we give to you, aid the provisional

champion or any other champion to carry out their quests, and look out for the well

being of others as well as you can,” said Center left.

“You have already shown some glimmerings of being able to take up the

responsibility,” said Zu. “And we would like for June to move north, nominally out

of the shadow of her brother so he has to make an effort to interfere in her quests.”

“I can do it,” said Seven. She looked around. Her sisters looked aghast, but June and

Jack grinned at her. Mister Warner frowned with a smoother face. Elaine smiled, and

Matilda nodded from the top of Aviras’s head. Josie stood with her mask of placidity

on.

“The future is up to you, Russes,” said Zu. “Think about it when you wake up.”

The seven sisters vanished from the mountain top.

“Matilda Raylen, and Aviras,” said Zu. “Come here.”

Aviras took one giant step to approach the throne. He towered over it, but knew in

this world of dreams he was oddly vulnerable.

“You both have carried out your responsibilities a little roughly, but they were done,”

said Zu. “You are also being considered as replacement champions. If that day comes,

we will call on you for your decision.”

“We will be able to do magic?,” asked Matilda.

“It will be considered,” said Zu. “Try not to go overboard and build another

Enterprise.”

“I will be ready,” said Matilda. She vanished.

“I also will be ready to assist Matilda,” said Aviras.

“Keep her out of trouble for next two decades,” said Center left. She smiled at the

blue dragon.

“I will do what I can,” said Aviras. He vanished.

“Juniper Lee, it is your turn,” said Zu. “Come forward.”

June approached. There were a million questions on her face. She didn’t know which

one to ask first.

“You will be allowed to emigrate here, and allowed to settle quests from the north,”

said Zu. “It will be up to you how to handle the problems. We expect more discretion

from you than your brother has shown. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” said June. “I was wondering if you had something that would help me find the

quests better. None of the bodies I have actually helps investigate things.”

“We will give you a sensor,” said Zu. “We expect a certain amount of honesty in your

dealings.”

“I have to get into the ring for this last fight, then I will be ready to come back and

start working,” said June.

“Don’t lose,” said the hat guy. The sword man nodded from his chair.

“I will do what I can,” said June. She grinned at them.

“Hap?,” said Zu.

The wrecked smith limped forward in his braces with one glowing crystal ball in a

small box. He offered it to June, before stepping back with the empty container. She

slotted it into her watch.

“We will do an evaluation every quarter,” said Center left. “Your privilege can be

revoked, so do your best.”

“Yes,” said June. “Thank you for the chance.”

She woke up a second later with a fourth name on her watch.

“Oliver,” said Zu.

“I have to close down the shop and sell my things, before I can move here

permanently,” said Warner. “Then I plan to use the village in the south to do any

quest I am given.”

“We understand,” said Zu. “When you have made your arrangements, your first return

quest will be given.”

“I don’t know how long it will take me to break my lease, but as soon as I am done,

I will be ready to operate,” said Mister Warner.

“And we will be ready with problems that need to be solved,” said Center left.

“Elaine Numera, Josie Fox and Jack Lee,” said Zu, after Mister Warner returned to

his new home. “There were some bumps in the road as far as June’s quest went, but

for the most part you handled things well enough. I do have one question, Jack.”

“Shoot,” said Jack. He grinned at his boss, who didn’t seem happy with him.

“Why did you hand out these powers and give Oliver an experimental youth potion?,”

said Zu.

“They needed it,” said Jack. “The villagers didn’t have enough to survive without me

providing for everything, so I made it where they could.”

“You made them your assistants, just as Josie has the Ducklings,” said Center left.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” said Jack. “They’re Mister Warner’s assistants if you want

to be technical about it.”

“I feel that I need to implement rules of engagement for you so you don’t do things

like this again,” said Zu.

“Just think of it as a possible pool of future candidates for my replacement,” said

Jack.

“I will,” said Zu. “Your new quests will be coming in the next few hours. Take June

with you to do things before she goes home.”

“I can do that,” said Jack. “It was a pleasure to see you again.”

They snapped back to reality.