Dial H for Heroics

Josie snapped awake on her new bed. She listened. She heard nothing but the sound

of her own breathing. She closed her eyes. She had to get ready for the day, but she

also wanted five more minutes to just lie there and think about nothing before she had

to wrangle her crew into getting things done.

At least she had Elaine to help her with Jack. She briefly wondered what had been on

the destroyed picture. She decided that she could let it go. She had other things to

consider.

She rolled out of bed and went into the closet. She took one of the black shirts and

jeans off their hangers and a fresh change of underthings from a drawer. Then she

went into her gleaming new bathroom and went about cleaning up and getting ready

for the day. She emptied out her pockets and dropped the dirty clothes in the dirty

clothes box. She paused to look for her messenger bag and found it on her desk. She

pulled it on, and then threw her poncho over a shoulder.

Time to get to work.

If Case embarrassed her, she was going to make him pay tenfold.

She headed upstairs to look for something to eat before her locusts burst from their

lairs to take everything. She found Jack and Elaine already working on the new stove

constructed by Jack’s magic.

“How’s it going?,” said Jack. He had a pan on the stove. He had a tray of eggs on one

side as he considered what he wanted to cook. “We’re trying to get breakfast together.

Any preference?”

“Coffee,” said Josie. “That’s what I demand.”

“Sorry,” said Jack. “The coffee machine is still brewing your lifeblood.”

Josie squinted at him. He was cheerful. He was cooking. His cooking had improved,

so that wasn’t so bad. He seemed to be whistling.

What was wrong with this picture?

“New shirt?,” she asked.

“Yep,” said Jack. “An original Captain Mar-Vell shirt. Magic, who knew?”

“My closet is full of variations of Captain Marvel/Kevin Matchstick lightning bolts,

and you got a new wardrobe?,” said Josie.

“Magic,” said Jack. He gave her his habitual grin. “Who knew?”

“Say that one more time and I will punch your face in,” said Josie. “That is my

warning that you are approaching the no coffee line, buster.”

“Here’s your cup of coffee,” said Elaine. “Sugar is behind you. We don’t have any

cream.”

“Black’s fine,” said Josie. She paused at the writing on the cup. “The World’s Surliest

Dragon Master?”

Jack held his cup up so she could read it. His said Oh, What A Loon I Am.

“What does your cup say, Elaine?,” asked Josie. She sipped her coffee. The caffeine

pushed some of her lethargy away.

She held it up so Josie could read it. Practically Perfect In Every Way ran across the

middle with an umbrella to act as an exclamation point at the end of the phrase.

“I refuse to believe this is my cup,” said Josie.

“There are six more and a guest cup on the shelf,” said Elaine. She pulled them down

for Josie to look at them.

She frowned at the phrases on each cup, and the guest cup simply said guest in small

letters across the middle. She put them back in one at a time after she read them.

“I can’t believe this,” said Josie. “Don’t say magic knows what it is doing.”

Jack simply grinned and cracked all the eggs into the pan. He stirred the eggs up with

a spatula. Scrambled was the easiest to make, and the easiest to parcel out. He added

slices of cheese from a tray in the refrigerator. Then small pieces of meat went in on

top of that.

“I have Boim’s com band ready, and I already added buttons on mine and Elaine’s to

talk to her,” said Jack. “The distance involved will mean we will have to call the

Enterprise and have it relay the call there, she won’t be able to call us from up north.”

“I will give her some emergency paper,” said Josie. “I don’t like the Society asked

them to set up so far away, especially now, but there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“I get it,” said Jack. “We can get there in seconds, but the fight might have been lost

in that amount of time.”

“Also Rickard is gearing up to fight the Montrose,” said Josie. “There’s bound to be

consequences, Society type consequences.”

“Hopefully that will wait until after our skydiving and fishing trip,” said Jack. “I want

a day we can schmooze without having to chase monsters underground.”

“So we get the kids up, get them ready for lessons, we go over and get Caroline, set

up to have dinner with June and Boim, drop the Queen off, put Caroline up in the

Hole in the Wall, make sure the King doesn’t need us,” said Josie. “Sound about

right?”

“We’re going to need supplies if we are going to feed June one more time,” said Jack.

“I already have a list of food we might need,” said Elaine.

“All right,” said Josie. “I can help you with that.”

“I think Lois would like it better if you escorted Caroline to make sure she doesn’t get

up to funny business if you know what I mean,” said Jack.

“I can do both,” said Josie.

“And take Lois home?,” said Jack.

“I can manage my time,” said Josie. She found herself out of coffee. She looked

around. Elaine gestured at a carafe in a slot in the wall. “I didn’t need the Army to

teach me that, slackerjack.”

“I still need your com band to set it up for Boim,” said Jack. He stirred the eggs and

meat together in the cheese.

“Okay,” said Josie. She took off the com band and handed it over.

“Could you?,” said Jack. He stirred the eggs one last time with the spatula.

Josie poured herself another cup of coffee and took his place as he took the com band

to the counter.

“I thought about trying things to overcome the distance,” said Jack. “But the best I

can think of is disguised antennae. I don’t want June to have some kind of access to

the Enterprise, even through her friend, especially now that she has a magic user.”

“It’s not like she can override your command,” said Elaine.

“Magic can do some stuff,” said Jack. “I don’t want her awakening the spirit of the

ship and letting it run loose. That would be the type of disaster we are supposed to

prevent.”

Josie considered the situation. She sipped her coffee. She agreed with Jack. Aviras

was on the edge of being trusted with a machine that could devastate the surface of

a planet. There was no telling what June would do if she got command.

“All right,” said Josie. “Letting June have even restricted use of the Enterprise

without one of us present might lead to a bad future. So we try to keep an eye on her

when she is onboard.”

“I know Seven is June’s auxiliary,” said Jack. “Do you think she is trustworthy?”

Josie considered that question. She got a serving bowl and put it on the counter.

“I think she is more trustworthy than some of her sisters,” said Josie. “The three

others I met seem happy with what they do, and even Four seemed happy with the

Shemmarians until we came along.”

“Here you go,” said Jack. He handed back the com band. “I think we need to take the

toast out of the oven.”

Elaine handed him a plate from a cabinet. He opened the oven. A cookie sheet held

twelve pieces of bread. He pulled the tray out and put the bread on the plate. He

smiled at the brownish yellow crust.

“All right, let me get the kids up and see if they can get ready,” said Josie.

“Probably throw some oatmeal on while we wait,” said Jack.

Josie nodded as she poured a third cup of coffee in her cup and headed for the

elevator. She sipped the brew as she went down a floor and knocked on the doors.

Aviras was the first to appear, hovering as his sliding door opened for him.

“Jack’s cooking,” said Josie. “Better grab some while you can.”

“I can’t work the elevator,” said Aviras.

“We should have thought of that,” said Josie. “I will help you so can get a headstart.

The girls will just have to grab what they can after you.”

She walked back to the elevator and opened the door for Aviras. She pushed the

button to carry him upstairs. She stepped back to let the door close.

The girls came out of their rooms. They wore t-shirts and shorts that must have been

in their wardrobes. Josie noted that Alicia had an arrowhead slicing across the front,

and Laura had Samaritan’s dove. Beatrice had wound up with the Disney castle

silhouette that used to be on their movies before they started adding the CG castle and

river. Matilda’s had Einstein’s famous equation on the front.

She probably didn’t know what it meant, so Josie was ready to provide an answer if

she asked.

That was better than trying to answer the adult questions Matilda had asked.

Angelica had a singing cake on her shirt. It seemed to be trying to reach a high note

from the way it was bent from the vertical stance.

“All of my clothes have this embossed on it,” said Angelica. “I am not happy.”

“I will change your wardrobe to something plainer if you want,” said Josie.

“Yes, please,” said Angelica.

Melanie passed on the way to the elevator, and Josie shook her head at the spider on

the back of her shirt. The girl rubbed her eye with the back of her hand as they piled

in the cab to head for breakfast.

“Aviras?,” asked Matilda.

“Probably eating your share right now,” said Josie.

They rode up and found Jack and Elaine had set places for them at the rectangular

table in front of the cooking area. Eggs smothered with cheese, toast, and oatmeal

waited on them. Cups of water had been added to one side of the plates.

“High Flier?,” said Laura. She turned the cup to read the inscription.

“Mine says Kiss the Cook,” said Angelica.

“I’m the Brains Of The Outfit,” said Matilda. She showed the cup to Aviras, who

made a gesture with a forepaw.

Beatrice looked at hers and then turned it away from the rest of the girls.

“I don’t understand mine at all,” said Melanie. She showed the word to Josie and Jack

as they took their own places.

“Hyouka,” said Josie. “It’s from another country back home. It’s the title of a story.”

“What kind of story?,” asked Matilda. “Is it full of heroes and such?”

“It’s about a young man tricked into making friends and solving problems against his

better judgement,” said Josie. “He’s incredibly lazy, but also incredibly smart.”

“Tricked into making friends?,” asked Matilda.

“His older sister asked him to join the literature club to keep it alive supposedly, but

it was a trick into manipulating him into dealing with people since he was anti-social

and preferred to mope around at home,” said Josie. “His new friend decided that he

had to help solve mysteries and problems with the club despite what he wanted to

do.”

“Brilliant but lazy?,” said Elaine.

“Magic,” said Josie. “Who knew?”

Melanie flushed and turned the cup so she couldn’t see the word impeaching her in

front of her sisters.

“Wait,” said Matilda. “Did you get writing on yours?”

“Sure,” said Jack. “I got a motto from a cartoon character, Elaine got the description

of the best nanny ever, and Josie’s says she’s surly.”

“That’s fitting,” said Melanie.

Alicia ate her eggs and toast quietly. She didn’t say anything about the words on her

cup. She sipped the water between bites.

“What do you think, Al?,” asked Jack.

“Magic mottos,” said Alicia. “Can I have another serving, Milord?”

“Not impressed?,” Jack asked.

“They don’t make my water sing, so no,” said Alicia.

“Tough audience,” said Jack. “Give me your plate, and I will get you some more.”

He stood to reach the bowl of eggs and dipped some more out with a ladle. Oatmeal

was asked. A nod got another serving of that for the girl.

“No cup for me,” complained Aviras. He took a sip from a bowl set for him.

“I will get you a cup as soon as you have hands,” said Jack. “I think that is fair.”

“Bah,” said the dragon.

“After breakfast, ladies,” said Josie. “We have to clean up, figure out what we are

going to do, and do all the running around that we can before we send June home for

her fight. I am going to have to work on my wardrobe at some point since all I have

are things with lightning bolts on them.”

“It becomes your temperament,” said Jack. He grinned at her irate expression.

“Tomorrow, Jack wants to take you fishing, so the more we can get done today, the

less we’ll have to do before you guys go out,” said Josie.

“Wait,” said Matilda. “What do these runes mean?”

She held out the front of her shirt.

“It’s a famous math equation,” said Jack. “It changed the way we look at the world

since we don’t have any magic, or monsters, there. E is energy. M is mass. C is the

speed of light squared which is the speed of light multiplied by itself. So energy is

what makes something up times the speed of light times itself. It leads to the

destruction of matter becoming energy like when you burn wood, you get a fire from

destroying the wood.”

“I don’t understand,” said Matilda.

“Neither do I,” said Jack. “I’m just a lowly ex-infantryman. They would never let me

touch anything having to do with an equation like that.”

“I expect that is for the best,” said Aviras.

“I think we should finish eating, and collect the queen so we can go,” said Josie.

“We didn’t make her breakfast,” said Jack.

Josie looked at him. She decided he was right.

“Make her a plate, get this cleaned up and then we will start portioning jobs,” said

Josie. “If you are finished, girls, get ready. Angelica, I will do something about the

singing cakes once I figure out what to do about it.”

“Thank you, Missus,” said Angelica. She turned her glare on Jack. “This has your

hand written all over it.”

“I would never,” said Jack. He shrugged. “Sometimes things happen.”

“We’ll see about that,” said Angelica.

“Before you get mad, let me show you how the stove and oven work,” said Jack.

“That is the only thing keeping me from beating you with a stick,” said Angelica.

“Come on, then,” said Jack. “I will be glad to show you how to do things.”

Josie waited for the crowd to disperse before she touched Beatrice’s hand. The girl

looked up from her half empty plate.

“Do you want to talk?,” she asked.

“No, missus,” said Beatrice.

“All right,” said Josie. “Do you want to trade cups?”

“Maybe,” said Beatrice. “What does yours say?”

“Surliest Dragon Master,” said Josie. “I know yours says Somebody’s Beloved. I will

trade with you in a second.”

“Really?,” said Beatrice.

“I was never anybody’s beloved,” said Josie.

“This is something random that popped up in the building, isn’t it?,” said Beatrice.

“Yes, but it has just enough of Jack’s personality to be irritating,” said Josie. “I have

to fix Angelica’s clothes. If you want to talk, I’m will be here.”

“Singing cakes,” said Beatrice.

“Just enough to be irritating, and nothing more,” said Josie.

“What do you think of Princess Caroline staying with us?,” asked Beatrice.

“I would have liked it better if I didn’t have to chaperone her love connection,” said

Josie. “Stupid Case. Anyway, she’s going to be hanging out with you kids. You’re the

ones that are going to have to treat her like she is healing. The adults, Elaine and I,

will be too busy helping Jane move the goblin tree people out of the hospital and back

where they can live their lives again.”

“I don’t think I would be a good chaperone,” said Beatrice.

“I think you would be excellent, but a lot is going to depend on if we can send June

and Mister Warner off without problems and if we get more quests,” said Josie. “We

have to take advantage of this downtime to solve whatever problems we have.”

“Do you think I am somebody’s beloved?,” said Beatrice.

“Do you think I am surly?,” said Josie.

Beatrice paused at the nature of the question. She didn’t want to say yes. On the other

hand, she didn’t know how to disagree.

“It’s okay,” said Josie. “I know what I am. Finish up and get ready for the day.”