Dial H for Heroics

Jack arrived over the Hole in the Wall within a minute of boarding the Enterprise. He

didn’t leave the transporter room since he was going back down as soon as he arrived.

“Enterprise, call Elaine, please,” Jack said. He needed to know she was safe before

he unleashed his power on the city. He didn’t know how Josie did her head popping

thing, but he could figure out something just as lethal with his own magician.

And he had Death on his dial if he wanted to use that.

“Jack?,” said Elaine. “I’m safe. I’m out at the Hangar with the girls.”

“Ask Bea to send her creature out to make sure no one is close to the place,” said

Jack. “I am above the Hole in the Wall, and I am going to talk to our would be

burglars.”

“It’s clear, Milord,” reported Beatrice. “Alladin says the only thing close by is a wolf

pack and a bearsh.”

“Thanks, Bea,” said Jack. “Look out for your sisters. I will come pick you up when

I am done.”

“What’s going on, Jack?,” asked Elaine.

“Someone has decided to try to take the Royal Family, and the Hole in the Wall,” said

Jack. “Josie, and the others are dealing with the ruling family. I am going to deal with

this.”

“I understand,” said Elaine. “We can come back and help.”

“Elaine, I love you,” said Jack. “I love you more than I love myself. I want you to

hold up out there until I am done. I don’t want you to see this. I don’t want you to see

this part of me.”

“I think you should try some of the hi-ho,” said Aviras. “That is the better part of

you.”

“The hi-ho?,” asked Jack.

“I think he means the loon,” said Matilda.

“I do mean the loon,” said Aviras. “You are not good with anger. You are better with

the talking. Let Josie have that other. She is better with it than you are.”

“I don’t know if I should be offended, or pleased,” said Jack. He grinned.

“Be pleased,” said Aviras.

“But most of all, be safe,” said Elaine. “I want to have a big wedding when we are

ready for it.”

“All right,” said Jack. “Let’s see if I can send these jokers away with a warning.”

“Don’t make us come looking for you,” said Beatrice.

“We’re going skydiving, and then fishing with the princess,” said Jack. He grinned

at the silence. “All I need to do is move my lunk of a sister out of the Hangar, and

then set the time. You guys better get some poles together.”

He told the Enterprise to cut the call so he could go about his business. Josie probably

already had her victims in a toe tag sack. He should do what he had to do and get it

over with before Elaine called back.

“Enterprise, put me down on the corner north of the Hole in the Wall,” said Jack.

“That way I can walk up and evaluate what I need to do.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine. It energized the transporter and put Jack on the

street.

Jack put his hands in his pockets and walked down the street toward the apartment.

One of his neighbors stood outside his house, looking at the small group. The old man

had come by the dinner, but the champion of order couldn’t remember his name.

“How’s it going?,” asked Jack.

“All right, I suppose,” said the old man. He had crooked fingers and a crooked spine.

He had lucked out and not suffered from his conditions as much as he could have.

“There is a place set up over on the north side where you can get your hands looked

at,” said Jack. “I know the people running it.”

“I think you should worry about the men trying to break into your place,” said the old

man. “What are you going to do about that? Set them on fire?”

“That’s more of a Josie thing,” said Jack. He looked at the group. “Let me see if I can

talk some sense into these goons. Elaine said I shouldn’t give in to my inner voice of

rage and ruin.”

“She is a pleasant lady,” said the old man. “The wife and I think you could do worse.”

“I’m glad that you agree with me,” said Jack. He grinned at his neighbor before

sauntering to the back of the crowd. “What you guys doing?”

“You should move on,” said one of the men in the back of the group.

“All right,” said Jack. “But that is the Ear Ripper’s place, and she is not known for

taking it easy on people.”

“The Ear Ripper?,” said the guy. Some of the other men half-turned to listen to this

newcomer.

Jack grinned as he demonstrated what they could expect with his hand.

“They told me once she yanked so hard, the guy’s face went around to the back of his

head,” he said.

“We still have a job to do,” said one of the other men, turning to face Jack. He

frowned at the resident in his odd clothes. “We still have to secure whatever women

and children we find.”

“I don’t want to tell you your business, but the Ear Ripper will do things to you if you

go inside there,” said Jack. “Your head might be placed on a post to warn off the next

guy that breaks into her place.”

“I wouldn’t stand so close to the door,” called the neighbor. “Those scorch marks on

the ground used to be tax collectors.”

Jack waved his hand at the fan of black reaching from the door, out into the street.

“He’s right,” said Jack. “Most of you are standing too close to the door.”

“You two need to mind your own business,” said the leader of the break-in squad.

“We’ve done this before.”

“Have you done it against an angry witch, and her angry dragon?,” asked Jack. “That

could make all the difference. Why don’t you leave, tell your boss they weren’t here,

and do something else with your day? It’s not like he can prove you didn’t try to get

through the door.”

“Who wants to be reduced to smelly ash?,” said the neighbor.

“Exactly,” said Jack.

“Move on,” said the leader. “If they aren’t here, then that is one thing. We still are

required to try.”

“I guess that is okay,” said Jack. He stepped away from the group and joined the old

man across the street. He pushed the button on his com to call the Enterprise. The

machine answered the call immediately.

“Enterprise, I’m going to need you to lock on the guys trying to break into the Hole

in the Wall,” said Jack. “Then I want you to put a stun bolt into one at random. Maybe

chase them out of the neighborhood.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“Who’s that?,” asked the neighbor.

“I built a sailing ship in the sky,” said Jack. “I needed a place to keep these sick

people without them becoming monsters before I could fix their problem. My boss

didn’t like it, but it helps me with my job, and with people who should know better

but don’t.”

“Really?,” said the neighbor.

A bolt of gold descended from on high. It struck one of the men at the back of the

group. He flew into the air and landed in a crumpled heap on the cobble stones. The

group looked up en masse, wondering what happened.

“Good ragdoll,” said Jack into his com.

“Affirmative,” said the machine. A whine escaped the com band as another bolt of

light exploded against one of the other men. He hit the wall and stayed there.

“Bad luck on that shot,” said Jack.

The men started running. Gold light struck down at them, harrying them as they ran

for cover amidst the houses and shops in that part of the city.

“Don’t do property damage,” said Jack. “But don’t let them forget you are still up

there.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“So your sailing ship will keep firing those lightning bolts at the rest of them?,” said

the neighbor.

“Only as long as they are in the open,” said Jack. “Eventually, I am going to get

another job, and we’ll have to sail out of Hawk Ridge. Until then, my baby can use

the target practice.”

“I think you maligned Mistress Fox on purpose,” said the neighbor.

“I was going to do things, but Matilda’s dragon told me that I shouldn’t just let my

anger cause me to explode,” said Jack. “I should lean back so it didn’t eat me from

the inside. Josie is really the angry person, but maybe Aviras is right. Maybe I should

step back a little before I do something rash.”

“Wise words,” said the old man.

“Go over to the hospital and see what they can do about your hands,” said Jack.

“Maybe they can be fixed.”

“I’ll think about it,” said the neighbor. “What are you going to do about the two your

ship shot?”

“I guess Jo is going to want to talk to them about why they thought it would be a good

idea to raid our place,” said Jack. “Those stun bolts hit a little harder than I thought.

I might have to ask the Enterprise to tone it down some.”

“I think the Duke will want you not to let your ship throw lightning across the city,”

said the neighbor.

“He will have to stand in line,” said Jack. He grinned at the older man. “Enterprise,

can you put these two guys you downed in the brig.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine. It activated the transporter and placed the stunned

men at arms in the same brig used to hold Matilda and Aviras.

“If you want to have your placed spruced up, I can get the girls to do it,” said Jack.

“My place is just the way I like it, thank you,” said the neighbor. “Try to stay out

of trouble.”

“Trouble is my business,” said Jack. “That always sounded better on the page.”

“I wager so,” said the old man. He gave Jack a wave before retreating to his house.

“Enterprise, can you connect me with Elaine again,” said Jack. “I need to update her.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“Jack?,” said Elaine.

“The apartments are clear,” said Jack. “The Enterprise is chasing them off. Whomever

put them up to the job wanted to take you and the girls prisoner. I guess someone told

them you guys would be the best leverage they could get.”

“They have never seen Josie going about her business like we have,” said Elaine.

“I guess not,” said Jack. “Until you put your hand in a cuisinart, you don’t really

think those blades will cut off your fingers.”

“Perhaps,” said Elaine. “Are you still angry?”

“A little,” said Jack. “But Aviras is right. I’m better with a more laidback approach.

Just popping heads is a Josie thing.”

“She will be glad that you are not trying to take her spot,” said Aviras.

“We were going to try to move June out of the Hangar today,” said Jack. “Maybe

we should all go together until we take the King back to his capitol building.”

“Is the Enterprise shooting at something?,” asked Elaine.

“Yep,” said Jack. “Stun only. I told it to keep the property damage down.”

“I don’t think Duke Hent will appreciate that,” said Elaine.

“He will appreciate it less when he learns that someone tried to kill the Royal Family

on his turf, and rile up the Ear Ripper to go about her business as only she can,” said

Jack.

“I think you should either gather up these men, or let them go,” said Elaine. “I

doubt having the Enterprise shoot at them is the way we want the city to look

at us.”

“And you are going to have to turn them over to the King anyway,” said Aviras. “I

doubt he will want his enemies tormented before he can bring them before his throne

to administer his own justice.”

“It was fun while it lasted,” said Jack. “Enterprise, can you gather up your targets and

put them in the brig?”

“Affirmative,” said the machine. The golden fire from its guns stopped raining down

on the city. “Prisoners captured.”

“Hold them until we have some kind of disposition,” said Jack.

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“I guess we can pick you guys up,” said Jack. “This has put a crimp in our plans for

sure.”

“I know, but it is better they tried now than when you were both out of reach up

north,” said Elaine. “Mister Warner is competent, and June is trying, but they are

worried about other things than our safety.”

“I’ll swing by with the Enterprise, and pick you up,” said Jack. “Then we’ll hook up

with the others and get this part of things settled down. I still have to take the king

back to the capitol and introduce you guys to the queen and Caroline.”

“We’re ready,” said Elaine. “I think the mocking menace fits you well.”

“Thank you, honey,” said Jack. “I will be by in a few. We’ll see what Josie has to say

about all this.”

“Probably something caustic,” said Aviras.

The line cut as Elaine stopped the call.

“Beam me up, Enterprise,” said Jack. “Let’s see what Josie has to say about this. I

agree with Aviras. It will probably be something caustic.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine. Jack didn’t know if it was agreeing to his order, or

agreeing with his opinion about Josie. He decided that it was agreeing with his

opinion.

He may have created a sarcastic machine to go with his own personality. He wasn’t

going to tell anyone that. It would invite trouble from his extended family.

He walked out of the transporter room and headed up to the bridge. He needed

to check in with the others while he was on the way out to the Hangar.

“Call Josie, please,” said Jack. He settled into his command chair.

“Line open,” confirmed the machine.

“I’m here, Jack,” said Josie. “This is a mess.”

“I caught some guys breaking in to our place,” said Jack. “I let the Enterprise use

them for clay pigeons for a bit, but Elaine said it would be better to hand them

over to the king.”

“Is that what the Enterprise was doing?,” asked Josie. He heard the frown in her

voice.

“They were running around like their heads were on fire and their butts were next,”

said Jack.

“The girls and Elaine?,” said Josie.

“They’re safe at the Hangar,” said Jack. “I’m going to pick them up.”

“I’ll meet you at the hospital,” said Josie. “The king wants to deal with this before

he goes back north.”

“What do I do with my prisoners?,” said Jack. “I can show them how to sky dive

without a parachute.”

“Bring them,” said Josie. “They might as well face the music with their master.”

“Is it going to be cheerful circus music, or the Imperial March?,” asked Jack.

“I don’t know yet,” said Josie. “Bring your prisoners down to the operating theater.”

“Why there?,” asked Jack.

“Because that’s where I will be operating,” said Josie. She cut the call.

“Something tells me the operation will be painful and full of sharp instruments and

sharper words,” said Jack.

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“All right,” said Jack. “Call Elaine. We need her to know when we are overhead and

are about to bring her and the Ducklings on board.”

“Channel open,” said the machine.

“Elaine, I am going to bring you and the kids onboard,” said Jack. “Get ready.”

“We are,” said Elaine.

“Energize,” said Jack.

He smiled as the doors opened on the bridge and his beloved stepped out of the lift.

Before he could say something, Aviras plopped down in his counselor’s chair with

a spread of his wings. The Ducklings stepped out on the Bridge.

“Enterprise, take us to the hospital,” said Jack. “These are the Ducklings. You already

met the youngest, Matilda.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“I can see why your Society complained about this thing,” said Beatrice. “It’s miles

long.”

“Not really,” said Jack. “It just feels that way. I’m sorry there aren’t any more chairs.

Josie wants me to bring my prisoners to the operating theater at the hospital.”

“No doubt because it is the biggest chamber in the hospital other than the cafeteria,”

said Elaine. “I can’t see Josie wanting to hold any court in that much of a public

place.”

“We’ll see when we get there,” said Jack. “I have a feeling someone is about to get

an unpleasant surprise.”