Dial H for Heroics

Josie led her girls toward the Adventurers’ Hall. She had already returned the cart and horse, paying a little extra for the trouble. Beatrice and Laura gave directions from the other outing they had already done with the supply train.

“Are we there yet?,” whined Melanie.

“No,” said Josie. “Quit whining.”

“The adventurers didn’t seem to like us,” said Matilda.

“Not my problem,” said Josie.

“Can we have some custard afterwards?,” said Melanie.

“No,” said Josie. She wondered how Jack had put up with four sisters. She was already feeling her fingers demanding that she strangle her charges the way they twitched.

She supposed she could have asked for Colossal Boy, or Green Lantern, to move the girls through the city faster. She hadn’t wanted to attract attention. Now she thought she should have already done it to stop their complaints.

“Missus,” said Angelica. “Can we stop to get something to drink?”

“Yes,” said Josie. “We should do that. Then we have to press on.”

A shop of icy drinks appeared on the next corner. Matilda, Angelica, and Melanie burst into a jog to get there first. Beatrice and Laura walked a little faster to keep up. Alicia stayed by Josie’s side, trying to match her pace.

“Do you want one, Alicia?,” asked Josie.

“Yes, missus,” said Alicia. She didn’t pick up her pace to rush after the girls.

“All right,” said Josie. She wasn’t in a hurry, and just walking felt all right.

By the time they got to the shop, the other girls had their drinks in paper cups. Josie ordered one for herself and Alicia. She noted that the mix was cooled by a giant icebox under it. She nodded.

She had thought there was some magic involved, but it was good old know how.

Josie paid for the treats and urged the girls back on the street. They still had a ways to go to get to the Hall. She wondered why there weren’t smaller halls around so adventurers didn’t have to cross the whole city to get a job. She supposed that it was one hall, one city.

Maybe the city Watch didn’t like the thought of armed combatants in more places than one. It probably kept fighting to a minimum.

Josie nodded when the older girls pointed out the Adventurers’ Hall. She frowned at the men around the entrance. They said some things about her Mage shirt. She ignored the words.

“Hey, maiden,” said one of the adventurers. “Why don’t you come with us and have a grand time?”

“I’m going in to find the best swordsman this crappy place has,” said Josie. She walked by. “If you are still here when I come back through, I will be the last thing you see.”

“What’s she’s saying is run,” said Matilda, as the group of girls walked into the hall.

“Let’s try the desk,” said Josie. “They’ll know any adventurer capable of teaching you six.”

“What if is the man you threatened, milady?,” asked Beatrice.

“I’ll take the second best then,” said Josie. “I’m good with that.”

“Have you thought you might have a bad temper?,” asked Laura.

“Not really,” said Josie. “My mother said I was always the quiet one in the family.”

The girls failed to imagine someone surlier than their protector. It just wasn’t possible as far as they were concerned.

The desk lady frowned at the gaggle of girls coming her way. She recognized them but not their protector. They were with someone taller, with longer hair and proper clothing the previous day.

“Hello,” said Josie. “I need to hire a swordsman to teach these girls how to fight. Do you have any that are any good?”

“Not as teachers,” said the desk lady. “Adventurers are usually hired to do jobs no one else wants.”

“This is a job no one else will want,” said Josie. A tug on her shirt made her look around.

“Archery,” said Alicia.

“And this one wants to learn how to use a bow,” said Josie.

“I don’t know any of our present crop that uses the bow,” said the desk lady. “I suppose you can advertise on the board for a specific teacher. I don’t know anyone who would take you up on it, but you might get lucky.”

Josie frowned at the woman. She counted to fifty to let her face resume its normal complexion. The desk lady smiled at her.

“Tell your adventurers they will have to go somewhere else for work,” said Josie. “I’m taking their jobs until I get a swordsman and archery teacher.”

“You can’t do that,” said the desk lady.

“We’ll see what I can’t do,” said Josie. She marched away.

“You should have just given us someone,” said Beatrice. “Can’t you see she’s a witch?”

“She’s an angry witch at that,” said Laura.

“You’re lucky she didn’t turn you into a pile of bones,” said Matilda.

“Come on, girls!,” called Josie. She started pulling all the notes from the boards she passed on the way to the door. She waved at the girls to grab up any she might have missed.

The adventurers around the door saw the girls coming and realized they were in the way of a bull rush. Most of them retreated from the opening. The one who had talked to Josie on her way in raised his hand as he started to say something. He found himself in the middle of a tornado and flung to the square roof of the hall without his clothes, or weapons.

Josie marched on.

“I thought I told him to run,” said Matilda, the last girl in line.

“He’s extremely stupid,” said one of the other adventurers. “We keep him around to draw attention while we go about our business.”

“I guess that’s okay,” said Matilda. She ran to catch up with the other girls.

“All right,” said Josie. “Where is Tenniman Street? The first job is a lost dog.”

“Are you really going to go through all of these?,” asked Beatrice. She waved her handful of notes.

“Yes,” said Josie. “Matter of fact, I plan to clear them tonight. Then I plan to grab any jobs posted until I get a teacher.”

“You might be carrying this too far,” said Laura.

“I plan to drive the Adventurers out of the city until I get what I want,” said Josie. “The faster they give me a better answer, the faster they can get back to work.”

“Lord Jack isn’t going to like this,” said Melanie. “It’s more work.”

“Jack is not the boss of me,” said Josie.

“Does he know that?,” said Angelica.

“Yes,” said Josie. “This is the street. Why did this guy post a job for finding a dog at an adventurer’s place? Surely the dog would have come home if it was still alive.”

“Someone might have took it in, and kept it,” Beatrice said. “Pets are a luxury, but if you can afford one, you keep whatever you can.”

“All right,” said Josie. “Let me get started.”

She went to the address on the note from the hall. She talked to the old woman there. The dog she was looking for was something like a terrier. It kept the rats out of the old lady’s apartment.

She changed into Zatanna and followed her spell to another building down the block. She yanked the dog to her through the building. She walked back to her original address and handed the dog over. The old woman and the dog both seemed happy

about the development.

Someone came out the building, looking around for something. Josie thought this guy had taken the dog out of spite. His beady eyes and unkempt clothing made him look like someone who would never get a pet on his own.

“Have you seen my dog?,” he asked the girls.

“No,” said Josie. She looked at the spells she had as Zatanna. She made him forget the dog. He stood there blankly. Then he walked back inside his building and whatever he had been doing.

“One job down,” said Josie, returning to normal. “What’s the next closest one?”

Josie went through each job, completing them with the help of her heroes in a matter of minutes. She used Beatrice and Laura to get to the places indicated because of their knowledge of the city. She marked the last one off before the sun went down.

“I’m tired,” said Matilda.

“One more job to do,” said Josie.

The girls groaned in unison.

“Stay here,” said Josie. “I’ll be right back.”

She vanished.

The girls settled against the walls of the nearest building. Complaints about hunger and hurting feet soon filled the air. They had been wandering around all day. There was no guarantee that the Adventurers would even find them teachers.

Josie reappeared. She clapped her hands.

“Congratulations,” said Josie. “The Hall recommended a swordsman to teach you. We won’t have to empty their job board tomorrow.”

“Thank the gods,” said Melanie.

“What did they say about the completed jobs?,” said Beatrice.

“I made it look like they were actually doing things instead of roaming the town and barely getting anything done,” said Josie. “Let’s see if we can find some place to eat, and a cab. We’ll ride home now that we’ve done a day’s work.”

“Yay,” said Melanie. “My feet hurt.”

“I should have taken you home,” said Josie. “I’m sorry, girls.”

“You should have let us see the expression on that lady’s face when you turned in all of those jobs,” said Matilda.

“Probably looked like a fish,” said Laura.

“Can we have a piece of cake?,” asked Angelica.

“Yes,” said Josie. “You can get a piece with your dinner.”

“That’s great,” said Angelica.

“Archery?,” asked Alicia.

“They didn’t have a bowman,” said Josie. “I plan to keep at it until I get you someone who can shoot the wings off a fly.”

“The Adventurers won’t like it,” said Beatrice.

“I won’t be here long,” said Josie. “That’s why I want you six to be able to defend yourselves when I’m gone.”

“Ease back a little, missus,” said Beatrice. “The more people who hate you is more to hate us when you’re not here any longer.”

“You’re right about that,” said Josie.

There was a small collective sigh of relief that Josie hadn’t stated she was going to kill all of her enemies in the city. That was a bit much on top of the Montrose quest. The city could lose a majority of its population with something like that.

Anyone who crossed the strange woman could be considered an enemy that needed to be put down.

“Let’s get the dinner, and head home,” said Josie. “Tomorrow, we have to meet your teacher at the hall.”

She led the way down the street. She went into a place with take out service and ordered for the lot of them. She paid with a few of the silvers Elaine had given back after her own shopping trip.

“We can eat here before we start looking for a cab,” said Josie. “If we can’t find something, I’ll whisk us home.”

“Why not whisk us around everywhere?,” said Melanie.

“Because it’s lazy,” said Josie. “And walking toughens you up.”