LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 113 When did you like me?
But fortunately for her, this way of speaking can at least avoid directly answering the question of whether to "commit yourself to each other".
Distracted by Gu Yanran's suicide, Ji Yucang did not continue to ask questions, but Shen Ning couldn't help but start thinking.
Although she didn't want to think about this issue in detail.
Because the lessons learned were too tragic, she didn't want to put too much energy into the relationship between men and women. Deep down in her heart, she had long refused to believe that there was true love in the world, but Ji Yucang wanted to break her perception.
And it's a strong medicine as soon as you take action.
It's not a slow flow, it's not a slow flow.
How could she have doubts and resistance after directly risking her life and heirs?
Shen Ning always thought that she was a decisive person and never bothered to be coy, but Ji Yucang...
"What are you thinking about?" Ji Yucang buried his voice in her neck and spoke lazily, with an imperceptible bewitching tone. "Are you confused because of my existence, or are you thinking about how to reject me?"
Shen Ning wanted to turn her head, but was helpless because she held him too tightly, "Let go first."
Ji Yucang loosened his arms slightly and raised his head to look at her: "Aren't you still sleeping?"
Shen Ning: "..." She should be able to sleep.
He held her so tightly like a big bear, how could she sleep?
"I'm just a little bit..." Ji Yucang seemed to want to explain his behavior, but when he said the words, there was only a bitter smile on his lips, "I want to try this feeling."
I have missed it for too long and fantasized about it for too long.
After getting married, he was worried about scaring her and making her defensive, so he didn't dare to step into the bedroom easily.
So much so that when he held the person in his arms, he had to confirm again and again whether it was real, the temperature of the woman in his arms was real, the life was real, the feeling was real, countless nights, so many extravagant hopes, It finally became a fact, giving him an unbelievable sense of illusion.
He desperately needed to feel the truth and feel at ease, so much so that he temporarily forgot that she was still weak.
"Ji Yucang." Shen Ning felt that she might not be able to sleep tonight, so she decided to chat with him, "I won't go back on what I promised you, so you don't have to worry so much about gains and losses. I just want to ask you a question."
"You ask."
"When did you fall in love with me?" Shen Ning said seriously, "I don't seem to have anything to do with you in my memory. How could you suddenly fall in love with me? And..."
Ji Yucang asked in a low voice: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
Shen Ning fell silent immediately.
love at first sight?
She wanted to say that she didn't quite believe it.
Falling in love at first sight is nothing more than lust, but falling in love over time is when you truly understand the other person's temperament and like her, but reality slapped her hard in the face.
The more you know about the other party, the more you may fall into the other party's trap, unable to see the truth clearly, and be confused by appearances.
She had known Han Xun for a long time, but so what?
She can't even be sure until now, whether he is like this in nature, or whether he slowly changed his temper after she went to the battlefield and they grew older and he gradually realized the importance of power and status, or because he heard too much gossip. , thinking that he relied on her military exploits to gain power, so he developed an inferiority complex, which led to his subsequent ungrateful, selfish and cruel behavior.
Obviously in the beginning, they were just simple boys and girls.
The so-called childhood sweethearts' understanding of each other is probably only based on their self-righteous understanding.
And Ji Yucang's love at first sight...
Shen Ning said: "When have you seen me?"
"On a battlefield five years ago." Ji Yucang's voice was low, as if he was recalling a sudden glimpse of that time. "You were wearing armor and leading the way...like the most dazzling sun under the clear sky, which made me unable to restrain the earthquake. I understand..."
Shen Ning frowned and remained silent.
She couldn't imagine this feeling. She originally thought it would be such a vigorous process, or that she would be life-saving for him without her knowing it, so she fell in love with him so much, but she didn't expect that it was just a casual encounter on the battlefield.
Shen Ning couldn't help but wonder: "That's it?"
"Yes. Later I went to Nan Zhao once and wanted to propose a marriage to Nan Zhao, marry you as my princess, and achieve a friendly alliance between the two countries." Ji Yucang closed her eyes, remembering the thought of giving up at the beginning, and she still feels a dull pain in her heart. "When I saw you in the main hall after taking off your military uniform, you were so proud and eye-catching, but you already have a childhood sweetheart fiancé, and you are in a very good relationship. You plan to get married when the war is over. I have to stop thinking about it. I am worried that the forced marriage will make the marriage worse. You are forced to separate from the one you love, and I am worried that you will hate me..."
He had to suppress this feeling and did not dare to show it at all.
Because he understands a man's desire to be exclusive to his beloved. No man can tolerate his wife being coveted. He doesn't want to cause trouble to her or cause any discord between them.
But this wrong decision directly caused him to know nothing about her. Especially after she got married, he completely gave up and did not dare to ask more about the love between her and her husband.
Moreover, the late emperor was dying at that time. He led his troops back to the imperial city from the border. When he heard about her again, she had not appeared in front of others for more than a year, which made him feel extremely uneasy.
The ominous premonition prevented him from considering the critical situation in the imperial city, so he sent a large number of people to Nanzhao to find out the truth of the matter. It was also the time when the army was mobilized that the late emperor was dissatisfied with his troop deployment. He was worried that after his death, he would rely on his own troops and the emperor was too young to be his opponent, so he poisoned him.
Ji Yucang knew about the poisoning that time, and he willingly drank the poisoned wine just to buy himself more time.
The Yong Kingdom and Nan Zhao were far apart, and it was too slow to deliver news back and forth. The late Emperor's condition was getting worse and worse, and when he was leaving an orphan on his deathbed, all the agencies were exhausted. He was worried about his relatives interfering in politics, and the Empress Dowager's curtain, and women harming the country. At the same time, he was also worried about Ji Yucang's support of the army. Conspiracy of rebellion, I wish I could use cats and dogs as pawns in my plot.
Unfortunately, in the end, all the efforts were still in vain.
Ji Yucang circled Shen Ning's slender body and told her bit by bit what happened that year. She did not hide anything, but Shen Ning's heart was filled with mixed emotions.
"It can only be said that fate plays tricks on people." Shen Ning turned around and lay face to face with him, "What you said is right. Even if you proposed marriage at the beginning, I would not agree, so all the suffering is mine. It’s what you’re destined to receive.”
But she couldn't help but feel sad and ironic at this moment.
An outsider who had only met her twice was able to see through her temper, understand her choices, and did not want to embarrass her. Even if she learned an unforgettable lesson in the end, she still understood that even if Ji Yucang did something different back then, choice, she would still choose to be with Han Xun.
At that time, she never thought that she would marry someone else in this life.
This was the calamity she deserved in her life, and she couldn't blame anyone.
But Ji Yucang...
Shen Ning finally understood why people like Ji Yucang were poisoned.
How could he be defenseless? Basically, he knew it and had no choice.
Shen Ning took the initiative to lean on his shoulder: "Before the death of the late emperor, the imperial city was under martial law. He would summon ministers and generals every day to explain his affairs, but you are frequently deploying troops at this time. No wonder he is suspicious of you."
But even in the case of suspicion, the late emperor still had no choice but to poison his son to buy two years. This is enough to prove that except Ji Yucang, there is no other general in the Yong Kingdom who can take the lead.
In other words, all the generals who can take charge are under Ji Yucang's command, and others are not qualified to be entrusted by the late emperor.
Shen Ning's voice was complicated: "Wouldn't it be better if you just rebelled against him?"
Ji Yucang said nothing.
Shen Ning didn't seem to care about the answer, leaning on his shoulder and closing her eyes.
Soon I fell into a deep dream.
Ji Yucang lowered his eyes and stared at the sleeping face in his arms. He was silent for a long time, then carefully leaned over and kissed her forehead.
Why didn't they rebel directly?
Because an unjustified reputation would cause the royal family to fall into civil strife, and he would have to worry about appeasing the courtiers, so he would not be able to travel around looking for a way to change his destiny.
Fortunately, everything is over.
No matter how peaceful it is.
The ups and downs in the past have become a dream, and for the rest of their lives, the world will be decided by them.
If they want to rebel, they will rebel. If they want to usurp the throne, they will usurp the throne. If they don't want to usurp the throne, they will always be regents and let the little emperor stay on the puppet throne until death.