Chapter 209: Not Enough
Arthur didn’t have a shop to run and could take his time with his eggs and juice. He ate them slowly, stopping just a bit before he was actually full. It wouldn’t do to get the nerves while giving a talk and have the breakfast trying to leap out for fun adventures on the carpet. He didn’t expect things to get that bad, honestly, it never hurt to be prepared.
“There you are.” Eito walked into the room, surprisingly un-hungover and in visibly good spirits. “Getting used to the capital yet?”
“A bit. Mostly I’m just struck by how much of it there is to get used to,” Arthur said.
“That’s normal. Even people who live here have that. Jumie sometimes talks about doing shows in parts of the city she never gets to, and it being a whole different world.”
“How’d that go?” Arthur couldn’t suppress his curiosity. He told himself that however nosey his questions might be, they wouldn’t compare to what Itela threw at the older trainer later. “Good?”
“Oh, it’s always good. Karbo wasn’t wrong that I want to brag about it.” Eito shouted a breakfast order at Tull and sat down next to Arthur. “She took me to a gymnastics competition where all the competitors are various beasts. A tamer thing. It was amazing.”
“It sounds like it. Do the animals actually do well at it?” Arthur asked.
“Oh, it’s unbelievable. There were a few trying to make it with bigger animals that aren’t built for it, but even that was interesting in its way.” Eito sighed. “She’s an impressive woman. I wish I could see her more often.”
“How's that work?” Arthur asked. “You are dating, but only when you are in town?”
“No, all the time. We write letters back and forth. I come here more often than you’d think on contract work. It was easier when I lived in the city. Lately, I’ve been out on the frontier so much that there just hasn’t been a good opportunity.”
“Did you talk about that?”
Eito paused and considered Arthur, apparently trying to decide if he was enough of an adult to trust with real, grown-up problems. Arthur attempted to look very mature until Eito relented.
“Oh, sure we did. It’s almost all we talked about.” Eito tapped the table with his fork, thoughtfully. “In the past, it wasn’t as much of an issue. But we’re both getting a bit older. We are about as far in our classes as we are likely to get. Before, we both stayed busy between visits. Now, that kind of busy doesn’t fill the gap as well.”
“Is there any way you could get closer?” Arthur asked.
“Just one, and there’s the issue. She needs to live in a city. There’s work for traveling dancers, but it’s hard and rough. You go from mining colony to small town to small town. It’s also carts, sleeping bags, and unfamiliar beds,” Eito said.
“Doesn’t sound fun.”
“That leaves me moving here as an option,” Eito said as he took a swig of his juice. “But it’s… risky, I suppose. It feels that way.”
“Why?” Arthur asked. “Things have been good with Jumie for a long time, right?”
“Years.”
“Why would it change now? I know it would be seeing her more often, but I can’t imagine that would be a problem with the kind of woman who takes you to animal gymnastics.”
“It might not. It probably wouldn’t. But it might. And then I’d be in the capital, alone.” Eito tapped his fork again, a bit more nervously than before. “And probably pretty broken up, if I’m honest.”
“Ah.”
Arthur finished his breakfast, then his juice, just thinking for a few minutes. It was almost time for him to leave, but he didn’t want to leave Eito hanging. Something about this moment seemed important, maybe even in a way he could help with.
“Eito, can I be honest? I know I’m a lot younger than you, but…”
“Young doesn’t matter.” Eito shook his head. “It really doesn’t. You aren’t young in a normal way, and even if you were, you’re still more thoughtful than someone like Karbo. I’d welcome your advice.”
Arthur nodded, then took longer than he had planned to get his words together. In the end, he went with simple.
“You love her, right?” Arthur asked. Eito blinked a few times, apparently stuck. Arthur repeated himself, which seemed to knock the tree out of whatever processing loop he was stuck in.
“Oh, sorry, Arthur. I just don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before,” Eito said.
“I figured. Itela is a soft touch on that kind of thing, and Karbo wouldn’t think to. But you do, don’t you?”
Eito thought about it for a second, then appeared to surprise himself with what he found.
“Yes, I suppose I do,” Eito admitted.
“Then you move here. You already said that she can’t move away. What’s there for you on the frontier? More training? Other people can do that.”
“Not as well.”
“But well enough, right?”
Eito winced, then nodded reluctantly. There probably weren’t more than a few trainers as good as him in the world, from what Arthur had been able to gather from Ella and Itela. But being the best was far from necessary when most people really needed someone just good enough.
“And you’d be better used in the capital anyway. Worst case, if things didn’t work out, the frontier would still be waiting for you. Nobody would turn you away. What’s that leave as a problem? It’s not money. You barely spend it. We both know how much you must have stashed away. So what is it? Are you just scared?” Arthur asked, driving his point home.
Eito wanted to argue. Arthur could tell. All it would take would be a quick jab about how Arthur was too young to give advice and it would be over. Arthur could almost see the future of the man unfolding after that. He’d do good work, he’d have good friends, and everything would be almost okay forever. Almost.
Luckily, Eito was too honest to do that.
“I suppose you are right. I’m afraid,” Eito admitted.
“When Milo got married,” Arthur searched his mind for the details of that time, “one thing we talked about for a long time was the feeling that you might not be enough for someone forever. I can’t imagine that for me and Mizu. How could I, just me, keep her happy? For an entire lifetime?”
Eito cut in. “I think you’d be surprised, Arthur. There’s a lot to you. I’m almost surprised you don’t see that.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Arthur waved, dismissively. “But I checked around. Milo feels the same way about Rhodia. I bet Minos feels the same way about Ella.”
“What about Karbo?” Eito asked.
“Fair point. I doubt he thinks about it at all but he’s Karbo. That’s par for the course. The point is, I think everyone has that thought. And I thought about why for a long time, and I think I came up with an answer.”
Eito ate his last few bites of breakfast, then looked at Arthur more seriously. “Well? Let’s hear that answer.”
“I think you can’t be a good spouse or boyfriend or whatever without thinking that way. It’s like with your class. If you think you are good enough, that you’ve come far enough, you’ll get stuck. You know more about this than me but I bet that’s a lot of what causes bottlenecks in the first place. If they knew they needed to get better for something, for a real goal they could see, I bet people wouldn’t get stuck nearly as often,” Arthur said.
“So thinking you aren’t good enough makes you good enough in a relationship?” Eito asked.
“Not by itself. But I’d bet my next breakfast that it’s one of the bigger things that gives you a chance,” Arthur said.
“Huh.” Eito chewed on that for a moment, then stood. “Well, come on. I’ll take you to the expo. You need to be there today, correct? I’ve delayed you from that long enough.”
“Is it far?”
“It would be by foot.” Eito glanced out the door. “There’s Lily, actually, if you were going to bring her. And on my branch did Ella and Minos go all-out on her clothes. I can almost smell the majicka coming off of them from here.”
“Arthur. Are you going?” Lily walked up in brand-new clothes, almost entirely black except for some pink pin striping here and there. Against her white feathers, it was a striking contrast. Eito was right about the majicka too. Arthur almost felt like the local energy was drying out around her. If it was any more intense, it would have been uncomfortable.
“Yup. Eito was about to show me where to catch the transport there, I think.” Arthur reached out and touched the shoulder of Lily’s shirt. “And what’s all this? It’s enchanted to the gills. Even more than your shoes.”
“I made a mistake. Ella asked me what I wanted, and I mentioned that my class drains my majicka whenever I use it actively. I think she and Minos saw that as an excuse. I have… I don’t know, ten outfits like this now. A big suitcase full. They all improve my majicka regeneration rate,” Lily explained.
“And that’s bad?” Arthur asked.
“No! It's just a lot. And I couldn’t tell them no, either. It’s not like these clothes replace majicka pills, but they do a lot more than if I didn’t have them. I had to take them, and I’ll have to wear them.”
“It couldn’t have been cheap.” Eito gawked at the clothes. “Majicka regeneration is what everyone wants and this is the real deal. Does your town have a good tailor and enchanter?”
“We do,” Lily said.
“Good. Get these touched up every few months, girl, and wear them until you don’t fit in them anymore. It’s a small, passive increase to your growth that comes with no downsides.”
“I hate to even ask, but did you thank them?” Arthur said. “Ella and Minos, I mean. You fight help the same way I do, I get it but did you remember this was really nice to do?”
Lily froze in her tracks. It was obvious she hadn’t.
“Oh no. Do you think I hurt their feelings?” Lily asked.
“Those two? No,” Arthur said. “They would have laughed about it. Still, fix it later when you get the chance. Nice is nice. Thanking people is the least we can do.”