Demon of Dawn and Dusk

After Astra finished speaking, I took a moment to mull over her words. It was quite the story, and answered several questions that had plagued me for years; how my parents met and why my mother had given me up being the most prominent among them. However, Astra’s story didn’t answer all of my questions.

“That still doesn’t explain why you would get in trouble for taking me away from Mt. Wind Dance,” I said. “Especially after the way my kin treated me. Surely the others would understand.”

Astra gave me a flat look.

“Big Sis Estelle would,” she said, her tone matching her expression. “Big Sis Sidra, on the other hand, wouldn’t. To her, Mother’s word is law and disobedience is a crime worthy of severe punishment. If I had brought you back to the Dawn and Dusk Sect right away, she would have locked me up until Mother came out of seclusion.”

I had a feeling there was more to this story than she was letting on. I doubted that she sneaked into Mt. Wind Dance out of nowhere; at least not without a compelling reason. From her words, I assumed that Big Sis Sidra was a part of that reason. However, I would keep my questions to myself until the time was right.

“I thought that if I helped you become a divine demon and join the Dawn and Dusk Sect under your own power, it would…mitigate Big Sis Sidra’s anger somewhat,” Astra explained. “Her love for the Dawn and Dusk Sect is second only to her love for our family.”

“You thought to soften the blow by making a big contribution,” I said.

Astra nodded, before her expression tightened.

“It was selfish of me,” she said. “And in my selfishness, I hurt you. Again, I am sorry.”

This time, I was the one who reached over and grabbed her hand.

“I told you earlier that I don’t care about any of that,” I said, giving her a smile. “I’m just happy that I have an actual family in my life now. However, if it makes you feel any better, I forgive you. Not that there’s much to forgive in the first place. While you may have pushed for it, it was my decision to become a divine demon, or try to become one at least.”

“Yes, but you didn’t know what that meant when you made that decision,” Astra argued. “I did. It’s my fault for not explaining things properly, and it’s my fault for not noticing that you suffered from qi poisoning. As your older sister, it’s my responsibility to look after you.” She drooped. “I failed you.”

I gave her hand a brief squeeze.

“Let’s call it a learning experience and do better going forward,” I said.

Astra gave me a small smile, before I let go of her hand and resumed eating. The food was cold now, but it was still delicious.

“So, what happens now?” I asked after a few minutes.

“Do you still want to become a divine demon?” Astra asked.

I nodded.

“I want to try at least.”

“Then it would be best to bring you back to the Dawn and Dusk Sect and train you there,” Astra said. “After what happened yesterday, it’s clear that I’m not the best teacher for you.”

I shook my head.

“No,” I said, before stuffing a fried dumpling in my mouth.

Astra gave me an incredulous look.

“What do you mean, no?” she asked.

I chewed and swallowed before answering.

“I meant what I said. No, I’m not going to the Dawn and Dusk Sect. At least, not yet. I want to become a divine demon first.”

Astra sputtered, unable to respond for a few seconds.

“Are you stupid?” she demanded, acting flustered. “Or just deaf? Didn’t you just hear what I said? I’m not the best teacher for you! Not only did I push you towards something you weren’t ready for, but I let you get qi poisoning!”

“Not only am I going to become a divine demon first,” I said, ignoring her. “I’m going to participate in next year’s entrance exam.”

Astra gaped at me, her mouth hanging open.

“Cultivating with the Song of Dawn and Dusk techniques must have damaged your mind, because you’re not making any sense,” she said after she managed to regain her composure.

I gave her a derisive look.

“It makes perfect sense,” I said. “If we go to the Dawn and Dusk Sect now, you’ll get in trouble. If I become a divine demon and pass the entrance exam, it’ll prove that you were right to take me away from Mt. Wind Dance. Maybe you’ll still end up getting in trouble, but there’s a chance you won’t. That’s enough for me.”

Astra’s eyes grew wide.

“You would go that far for my sake?” she asked.

“Yes, because you’re my big sis.”

Astra placed her hand on her chest and looked touched by my gesture.

“Aw, that’s so sweet of you!” she said, before her expression hardened. “But no. I won’t repeat yesterday’s mistakes.”

“But-…”

“I said no, Darian. I’m putting my foot down. We’re going to the Dawn and Dusk Sect, and that’s final.”

She looked resolute, like a mountain that refused to budge no matter how much the wind howled at it. Unfortunately for her, I knew the perfect argument to change her mind.

“If you brought me back to the Dawn and Dusk Sect now, what would happen?” I asked.

Astra narrowed her eyes at me.

“What kind of game are you trying to play here?” she asked.

“Just humor me, please,” I said. “What would happen if you brought me back to the Dawn and Dusk Sect? Specifically, what would happen to you?”

Astra frowned and took a moment before responding.

“Big Sis Sidra would punish me,” she said. “Either by locking me away until Mother left seclusion, or another punishment equivalent to that.”

“And what would happen to me?” I asked.

Astra frown deepened.

“You would receive the training you need in order to become a divine demon,” she said. “If that isn’t possible, you would be trained as a demonic cultivator of Flame Fiend Hall.”

I nodded while pretending to look thoughtful.

“And what if Big Sis Sidra sends me back to Mt. Wind Dance?”

Astra scowled at me.

“What are you talking about?” she asked. “Big Sis Sidra would never do that.”

Despite her words, I detected a hint of unease in her voice.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “You said it yourself; to her, Mother’s word is law. According to the agreement between my father and my mother, I should still be on Mt. Wind Dance. It hasn’t been twenty years yet.”

This time Astra took a few seconds before responding.

“No, she wouldn’t,” she said, as if trying to convince herself. “Big Sis Sidra would punish me for disobeying Mother, but she wouldn’t send you back there. That would be absurd.”

“Can you guarantee that?” I asked. “You know Big Sis Sidra more than me. All I know about her is what you’ve told me, and from what I’ve heard, sending me back to Mt. Wind Dance wouldn’t be out of character for her.”

Astra narrowed her eyes at me.

“Don’t think I don’t see what you’re doing, Darian.”

“But am I wrong?”

When Astra didn’t respond, I knew she was almost there. I could see it in her eyes. She just needed another push. I looked down at the table and remembered everything I had endured at the hands of Clan Wind Dance. The insults, the isolation, the abuse. Rather than hide my emotions, I tried my best to show them.

“Big Sis,” I said, speaking in a low voice. “Do you know what living on Mt. Wind Dance was like for me? It was hell. I was alone and unloved, surrounded by people who hated me because of my ‘tainted’ blood. The one person who should have been on my side, my uncle, was the worst of them. While he pretended to show me kindness, it was all an act. He never intended for me to become a cultivator. With my father in seclusion, he had free reign to keep me suppressed. I knew this, yet I had no other choice than to go along with his act. I can’t go back to that. I refuse to.” I shook my head. “And that’s assuming things go back to the way they were if Big Sis Sidra sent me back. More than likely, they would imprison me so I could never escape from them again.”

While I was sure that Astra and the rest of my family would free me, how long would that take? What if they failed? I shuddered at the thought. There was also the chance that my uncle would just kill me rather than go through all that trouble.

I looked back up at Astra. Her expression wavered between remaining resolute and giving in to my pleas. I was so close to getting her on my side. Just a little more.

“Please,” I pleaded. “Even if I’m not ready for next year’s entrance exam, let me stay here until the twenty year agreement is up. That way, Big Sis Sidra won’t feel compelled to send me back to Mt. Wind Dance. She might punish us, but at least I would be among family. I would prefer that over returning to Mt. Wind Dance.”

If Big Sis Sidra intended on still punishing Astra after we told her the full story, then I intended to go through the same punishment rather than have Astra shoulder it all on her own. Strange. Not too long ago, I would have preferred remaining with my kin on Mt. Wind Dance over being punished by a demon. However, that was then and this was now.

“While I would prefer to be ready in time for next year’s entrance exam,” I continued. “I don’t want to do anything that would worry you. As you said, I’ll take small, incremental steps. Just let me stay here.”

For several moments, Astra's expression continued to waver. I held my breath, unsure of what she would decide. When Astra slumped, I knew I had won. However, I made sure not to show any hint of joy or triumph. Otherwise, she might change her mind again.

“Fine,” Astra said, a concerned expression on her face. “We’ll stay the course, despite my misgivings.” She held a finger up. “On one condition. Promise me that you’ll be careful. I don’t want you to suffer from qi poisoning again, or worse. You’re stubborn about the oddest things, and I’m afraid that you’ll push yourself too far beyond your limits.”

“I promise,” I said, giving her a smile.

That was an easy enough promise to keep. After all, I wanted to be a cultivator. More than that, I wanted to be a divine demon. However, what would be the point of that if I crippled or killed myself in the process? Besides, I didn’t want to make Astra cry again. As the first of my kin on my mother’s side that I had met, she held a special place in my heart.

“Good,” Astra said, though she still looked concerned. “In that case, let us head down to the meditation chamber to continue with today’s training.”

I grinned at her elated with my victory. A small victory, yes, but a victory nonetheless. Given how few of those I’ve had in my life, even the smallest victory tasted sweet.

After the two of us cleared away the remaining dishes, Astra and I headed down to the meditation chamber to begin today’s training.

Several hours later, I dragged myself up to the peak of the mountain in order to practice the latter half of the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique. While I had meditated using the chant for dawn earlier, I needed to meditate using the chant for dusk. Otherwise, according to Astra, my mental refinement would be incomplete and imbalanced.

At first it wouldn’t be so pronounced, but as I grew in power and strength, that imbalance would become a major flaw in my cultivation. It was better to avoid dealing with that altogether rather than try to fix it later on, even if I would have preferred heading to bed rather than cultivate right now.

Like yesterday, Astra and I spent hours in the spherical antechamber, tempering my mind so I could get used to the divine fire qi. My body remained as sensitive and weak to it as before. Whenever Astra opened the door and flooded the spherical antechamber with the divine fire qi, it burned me all over. While it didn’t actually damage me, that didn’t make the pain any less real.

However, despite this, I found that the pain didn’t bother me as much as it had yesterday. Practicing the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique turned out to be the right choice. It gave me the willpower and mental fortitude to endure the pain. The thought of cultivating with the divine fire qi, of taking in that pain, no longer filled me with dread.

I could also sense the divine fire qi somewhat, though I thought it was a trick of the mind at first. To my eyes, it looked like a faint golden haze. So faint that I thought it was dust.

When I mentioned this to Astra, she examined me. According to her, repeated exposure to the divine fire qi was honing my spirit sense as well as tempering my mind. As demonkin, I was already sensitive to divine qi, meaning that I would be able to perceive divine qi before other kinds of qi. That made me happy, since it meant that I would be able to cultivate soon.

To my disappointment, we stopped training sooner than we had yesterday. Astra didn’t want to risk me getting qi poisoning again. I thought about arguing with her, saying that I could keep going, but then I remembered my promise and kept quiet. Astra noticed this, and wore a satisfied smile when she saw that I intended to keep my promise.

Afterwards, we headed back to the cave to rest. Well, I rested. Enduring the divine fire qi for hours on end exhausted me. Astra, on the other hand, was powerful enough to ignore such trivial concerns. It irked me to see her remain as lively as ever while I felt like death warmed over.

Astra left soon after, saying that she had some business to take care of back at the Dawn and Dusk Sect, but mentioned that she would return by tomorrow. Before she left, however, she showed me a path that led from the base of the mountain to the stone platform, before continuing on to the peak. She kept it hidden with an illusory array, which was why I couldn’t see it before, but she altered the array so I could see through the illusion. This way, I wouldn’t have to rely on her to reach the peak of the mountain in order to meditate.

When I asked Astra why she hadn’t shown me the path earlier that morning, she just gave me a mischievous grin and flew off before I could admonish her. As I glared at her retreating figure, I vowed to get back at her somehow. It might take years, or even decades, but I would have my revenge someday.

When dusk approached, I climbed my way up the mountain and reached the peak. Thanks to the years I spent practicing the Dancing Wind Blade fighting style, I was in excellent physical condition. However, after training for hours with Astra, the grueling climb to the peak took most of my remaining stamina. The thought of climbing back down filled me with dread.

A part of me wanted to just lie down and nap instead of meditating, but I resisted the impulse. It was better to nip bad habits in the bud, otherwise they would be a pain to get rid of later on. So, after resting my weary body for a few more minutes, I sat up in the lotus position and faced the setting sun.

When I saw them earlier, the light of the rising sun gave the Black Mist Mountains a certain majesty and grandeur. They reminded me of ferocious beasts that had an air of nobility as well as savagery. The light of the setting sun gave the Black Mist Mountains a sinister air. They still looked ferocious, but with none of the nobility I ascribed to them earlier.

After a while, I turned my attention away from the mountains and closed my eyes. I evened out my breathing and started chanting the second half of the Song of Dusk and Dawn within my mind. Like before, I soon fell into a meditative trance. Everything else fell away, until nothing remained but me, the light of the setting sun, and the encroaching darkness.

The chant of dusk was, in many ways, the complete opposite of the chant of dawn. If dawn was about hope and renewal, about new beginnings and the coming of light, then dusk was about endings. Like dawn, it was a time of transition, but one of a different nature. A time in which the sun hid itself from the world and the land fell into a slumber.

For a brief moment, the world existed in perfect harmony once more. In that moment, light and darkness reigned in equal measure, beautiful and balanced. When that moment ended, light retreated and darkness encroached, blanketing the land in shadows. There was a finality to dusk. All things that had a beginning also had an inevitable ending.

Yet, the end of one thing was the beginning of another. Night was a time of shadows and secrets, of illusions and trickery, of dark deeds and hidden plots. However, it was also a time for passionate embraces, when lovers whispered sweet nothings to each other. It was a time when parents tucked their children into bed and bid them sweet dreams. For some, night was a time for merriment and revelry, as people drank and caroused with their friends.

The sun disappeared when night approached, allowing the stars and the moon to reveal themselves to the world below. While moonlight and starlight was colder and less domineering than the sunlight, they were no less beautiful. Dusk was the harbinger, the beginning, of such a time.

As I meditated, I felt my mind changing once more. Like before, it grew stronger and clearer. Instead of sunlight, I took in darkness and shadow, making them a part of me. Like the sunlight from before, they filled my mind and became catalysts for the changes occurring within me. However, rather clouding my thoughts, as one would expect, my mind felt as clear as ever. The darkness felt cold but welcoming.

When I opened my eyes, the sun had completely disappeared beneath the horizon. Not even a hint of its light remained. Despite this, the moon and the stars provided me with enough light to see my immediate surroundings. I wouldn’t have any trouble making my way back down to the immortal cave. The rest of the Black Mist Mountains remained obscured by darkness. This reflected the changes I felt occurring within me.

When I practiced the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique earlier this morning, in addition to strengthening my mind over all, it strengthened my awareness and my spirit sense. However, the technique had a different effect when I practiced it at dusk. Instead of strengthening my awareness, it…cloaked me, for lack of a better term. And like a cloak, it protected and hid me. If the chant of dawn strengthened my spirit sense, then I believed that the chant of dusk allowed me to hide from the spirit sense of others. At least, that was the impression I received. I would have to ask Astra to clarify the matter for me.

Light revealed, while darkness obscured.

I spent the next several minutes musing over the Song of Dawn and Dusk, as well as the effects it had on me, before I stood up and made my back down to the immortal cave. Tomorrow was going to be as busy as today and yesterday, and I needed all the rest I could get.