Demon of Dawn and Dusk

The next two months passed by in a blur, as I cultivated the divine Fire qi in order to become a divine demon. My days consisted of meditating at dawn, cultivating in the meditation chamber, before sleeping the rest of the day away in order to recover my strength. When dusk approached, I woke up to meditate once more, before falling asleep again.

I lost track of time because I slept more often than not. The only reason why I knew how many days passed was because of Astra. Without her, time would have lost all meaning to me altogether.

During these two months, pain became my constant companion. It was there when I woke up, and it was there just before I fell asleep. That was part of the reason why I slept so much. I did so in order to recover my strength, yes, but also to escape from the pain. Sleep was my only respite. Refining my mind using the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique strengthened my willpower, but I still had my limits. Enduring burning pain, day in and day out, wore me down. My appearance grew gaunt and haggard.

Astra tried to convince me to stop several times, but I refused each and every time. Part of it was my innate stubbornness. After coming this far, I refused to turn away now. Part of it was pride. For my entire life, my kin back on Mt. Wind Dance treated me like trash. I wanted to prove to them wrong. And part of it was because I wanted to become the best cultivator I could possibly be. Since I had this chance, why should I settle for anything less? Even if I failed, at least I gave it my best try. That way, I would have no regrets.

Astra accepted my reasoning, though that didn’t stop her from worrying about me. I tried my best to reassure her, though I doubted my efforts helped. If anything, they seemed to worry her even further.

Despite my resolve, getting this far hadn’t been easy. As I continued to refine the divine Fire qi and make it my own, the pain within my dantian grew more and more intense. It was as if I were stoking a fire. Cultivating with the divine Fire qi became a balancing act, where I needed to cultivate enough to progress forward but not so much that the fire burning inside me went out of control. It was a vicious cycle, where the more I fed the fire, the hotter it grew. The hotter it grew, the more pain I felt. The more pain I felt, the more difficult it became to maintain balance.

I didn’t always succeed, and there were times when the fire threatened to consume me from the inside out. Thankfully, Astra intervened before this happened. Without her, I would have died or crippled my cultivation a long time ago.

However, after two months of painful and bitter effort, I reached a threshold; a bottleneck. I was just one final step away from forming my dantian and breaking through to the Qi Condensation stage. I was one last step away from becoming a divine demon. If I succeeded, then everything I had endured until now would have been worth it.

Though, this was easier said than done. While I was just one last step away from becoming a cultivator in truth, this last step was the most difficult and the most dangerous one. The divine Fire qi inside me had reached a critical point. I would either form my dantian with it, or I would suffer a serious injury. With Astra watching over me, the chances of me dying or suffering a permanent injury were low. However, if I failed here, then it would take me a while to recover enough to the point where I could cultivate again.

“Unfortunately, becoming a divine demon is no simple matter,” Astra said, wearing a grim expression. “Otherwise, there would be more than a handful of them in the entire Azure Dragon Empire.”

The two of us were in the immortal cave’s living area, sitting on a pair of cushions that Astra had brought out from her storage ring. I focused on Astra’s words as best I could, though I found my attention wandering from time to time. The past two months had taken their toll on me.

Due to the pain I felt from the divine Fire qi in my dantian region, my sleep had grown less and less restful. No matter how much I slept, I always felt tired when I woke up. I had even started to lose my appetite, to the point where I had to force myself to choke down food even though I didn’t feel hungry. It wouldn’t be long before my body broke down from stress and fatigue. In fact, the only reason I had even made it this far was because of the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique. Otherwise, I would have given up long before this point.

“For most other cultivators,” Astra continued. “They just need to keep refining qi until they form and ignite their dantians. This won’t work for you. If you tried, the divine Fire qi inside you would rage out of control and burn you out.”

“What do I need to do then?” I asked in a tired voice.

“I can’t tell you,” Astra said, sounding frustrated.

I stared at her in disbelief. She gave me an apologetic look.

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?” I asked in an incredulous voice.

“I meant exactly what I said. I can’t tell you, though I know the answer. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. The journey itself is part of the destination. If I tell you, it won’t work. You wouldn’t become a divine demon. The records I read were quite clear on that.” Astra frowned and shook her head. “There’s no shame if you don’t figure it out. Most of the people who make it this far stumble and fail at this point.”

I mused over Astra’s words, though it wasn’t easy. The pain from my dantian region continued to distract me. My head also felt foggy and muddled from the lack of proper sleep.

“Is there anything you can tell me?” I asked. “Any hint you can give? Even a general idea would be appreciated.”

Astra shook her head.

“From here on out, you can only rely on your own comprehension and luck. No amount of effort on your part, or help on mine, will change that. Any hint I give you might reduce your chances of success, and that isn’t a risk I’m willing to take.”

I scowled, though not at Astra. A part of me had hoped that just by making it this far, I would be able to become a divine demon. Of course it wouldn’t be that simple. Instead, I had one final hurdle to overcome, one that I needed to figure out completely on my own. It was like trying to solve a puzzle in the dark with one hand tied behind my back.

“I’m also giving you a time limit,” Astra said. “While I’ve helped you this far, I have my limits. I can not, and will not, just stand by as you continue to strain yourself like this. Tell me, how close are you to breaking down?”

I considered keeping the truth from her, or at least hiding just how bad my condition was, but decided against it. Not only would she see right through any lies I told, but I also refused to repay her help with deception.

“Close,” I admitted. “At this rate, I maybe have a week left, two at most.”

Astra nodded.

“Then that is your time limit,” she said. “If you haven’t figured out the answer by the end of the week, then I will scatter the divine Fire qi you’ve refined until now and purge it from your body. After you’ve recovered, you can start again with a different cultivation technique.”

A part of me wanted to argue with her, but the rest of me felt relieved. One way or another, I was almost done. Succeed or fail, the pain would end.

The days grew somewhat more bearable over the next week, since I no longer needed to go to the meditation chamber in order to cultivate. While I still suffered from the divine Fire qi inside me, at least I no longer immersed myself in it. This eased the burden on my body, and I even regained some of my appetite, to Astra’s delight. However, while my body gained something of a reprieve, my mind did not.

As the days passed and the deadline Astra set drew closer, I thought long and hard about how to break through to the Qi Condensation stage. Yet, no matter how much I racked my brain or how much I meditated, the answer remained as elusive as ever. I cursed my lack of cultivation knowledge. While I learned a lot from the manuals Astra gave, as well as from Astra herself, two months wasn’t nearly long enough to learn everything I needed to know.

What frustrated me even more was that I felt close to figuring it out. It was as if all the clues were there. I just needed that one final piece in order to complete the puzzle and see the whole picture. Without it, no amount of effort on my part would change anything. It was like trying to capture light with my bare hands.

When the last day arrived, and I was no closer to the answer than I was at the start of the week, I fell into despair. After everything I had been through, this was how it ended. To come so far yet still fail left a bitter taste in my mouth. It reminded me of my time at Mt. Wind Dance, where no matter how hard I struggled, it never amounted to anything. However, this time I couldn’t blame my uncle. Instead, my failure rested entirely on my shoulders.

Rather than indulge in self pity, I climbed my way to the peak of the mountain for my morning meditation and stayed there for the rest of the day. I had brought with me a small sack filled with food and water, so I didn’t need to go back down again. During the past two months, my daily meditation sessions were the only times I found peace. Sleep gave me a reprieve from the pain, but nothing more. It was only when I meditated on the mysteries of dawn and dusk that all of my troubles fell away. The pain remained, but for a time it became inconsequential.

I thought that by spending the entire day up here, I would have a better chance at figuring out the answer. Even if I failed to figure out the answer, spending the day up here was better than wallowing in misery. Astra must have sensed my need for solitude, since she didn’t say anything when she noticed the sack filled with food and water.

It was a clear and beautiful day. The cloudless sky seemed to stretch on forever. The sun’s light bore down on me. I found its warmth pleasant, especially when compared to the blistering heat produced by the Earth Fire down below. While I didn’t know the exact date, I knew that it was mid to late summer now. Astra had kidnapped me just after summer began, and it had been a little over two months since then.

I gazed out towards the Black Mist Mountains as I sat atop the mountain peak. After spending so much time meditating up here, the sight of the mountains no longer filled me with fear and dread. I still felt awe at their beauty and majesty, but I no longer feared them. Of course, I could say this since Astra had set up arrays to hide our presence here from demon beasts and cultivators alike. Without those obfuscation arrays, our stay here would have been far more…eventful.

Even as I watched, I saw an avian demon beast flying off in the distance. It was too far away for me to notice any minute details, but it looked fierce and vicious to my eyes. I shivered in fear at just the sight of it. However, thanks to Astra’s arrays, it didn’t notice me at all. It flew onward, soaring across the sky, before disappearing from sight.

As it disappeared, I felt a tinge of envy. One of my greatest wishes was to fly. As a clan of Wind cultivators, the members of Clan Wind Dance excelled at flying. I saw plenty of my kin flying through the air, showing off their skills, over the years. They always looked so joyful and carefree that I couldn’t help but feel jealous. While they flew free, I continued to practice the basics of the Dancing Wind Blade fighting style, forever stuck on the ground. I wanted to break free of the constraints holding me back and join them in the skies. However, I never could.

I shook my head to clear my head of such useless thoughts, before focusing on the issue at hand. What was the key to breaking through to the Qi Condensation realm and becoming a divine demon? Unfortunately, the manual for the Soul of Divine Fire technique wasn’t any help here. It just described the methods and mnemonics necessary to cultivate using this technique, as well as the special abilities one gained after reaching certain thresholds. None of that information was useful to me at this point in time.

The other two cultivation manuals were even less useful. Asura Crucible Body was a physical refining cultivation technique, and a demonic one at that. As for the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique, while it had helped me get to this point, I didn’t see how it could help me now.

A part of me wondered if I had ruined my chances of becoming a divine demon by practicing mental refinement first. If so, then the last two months had been pointless. No, that wasn’t quite right. The pain I suffered helped temper my mind. I gained that much from this experience, if nothing else. My spirit sense was much stronger, to the point where I could read my own aura. A blackish gray outline surrounded my body, revealing my demonkin nature. It was thin and weak, but I could see it.

The Song and Dusk technique also gave me the ability to better hide my aura from the spirit sense of others. That was the sensation I felt when I first meditated using the chant of dusk. I had been right about that part. Astra confirmed it for me.

The sun traveled across the sky as the day passed and I contemplated the answer to the dilemma before me. However, no matter what, I couldn’t figure it out. When the sun started to set and dusk approached, I was no closer to finding the answer than I had been when I began.

With a sigh, I closed my eyes to meditate. Afterwards, I planned on heading back down to the immortal cave. Since I hadn’t figured out the answer, and likely wouldn’t at this point, it was better to just give up now and let Astra purge the divine Fire qi from my body. I could figure out what to do after that. If nothing else, I could practice one of the other cultivation techniques of Flame Fiend Hall.

A few seconds later, my eyes shot open as I thought of an idea.

What if…?

No. That couldn’t be.

But what if…?

It couldn’t be that simple, could it?

What if I cultivated a bit of demonic qi? Not a lot, but enough to push me across the threshold and breakthrough to the Qi Condensation stage?

While that idea seemed stupid and suicidal at first glance, it wasn’t without its merits. Over the past few months, I had gained a deeper understanding of the mysteries of dawn and dusk. Not enough to call myself a master by any means, but enough to know the depths of my ignorance.

When I first studied the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique, I viewed the chant of dawn and the chant of dusk as separate but related. Both were necessary to cultivate with the technique. I also viewed dawn and dusk themselves as separate but related. However, over the past two months, I came to realize that dawn and dusk were not separate parts, but two halves of a greater whole. Not only that, but each one was necessary for the other to exist.

Dawn needed dusk, because without dusk, there would be no night. Without night, there would only be day. What need then would there be for dawn? At most there would be a single dawn. After that, there would just be an endless day. The same could be said for dusk. Without dawn, there would be just eternal night. The two needed each other in order to exist.

More importantly, dawn and dusk weren’t physical things. They were specific times, times between, the transition periods between day and night. They were liminal points. The day began with dawn and ended at dusk; the night began with dusk and ended with dawn. Day and night, both locked in an eternal cycle. Dawn and dusk were the catalysts needed to perpetuate this cycle. Remove one, and the cycle would end.

They also each consisted of both day and night, of both light and darkness. Dawn marked the beginning of day, but also contained traces of night. When the rising sun drove back the darkness and erased those traces, then it was no longer dawn but morning. The same could be said for dusk. It contained traces of the day. When the sun finished setting and the darkness overtook the light, it was no longer dusk but night proper.

This interplay of day and night, of light and darkness, was necessary for both to exist. Dawn needed darkness, and dusk needed light. What if that same interplay was necessary to becoming a divine demon? From the name alone, it was clear that the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique had strong ties to the Dawn and Dusk Sect, which had been founded by a divine demon. If the Founding Ancestor of the sect had created the Song of Dawn and Dusk, then perhaps they intended it as the key to becoming a divine demon, or at least a clue pointing to the right direction. Even the name divine demon was a clue; a being that was both divine and demonic.

Divine qi and demonic qi opposed each. The former was anathema to demons and demonkin, while the latter was poisonous to most humans and divine creatures. Light and darkness were also opposing forces, or so it seemed. Both were necessary for dawn and dusk to exist. From a certain perspective, light and darkness were not in opposition to each other but were in cooperation. What if one applied this perspective to divine qi and demonic qi?

Following a compulsion, I stood up and started heading down the mountain. I needed demonic qi, and there was plenty in the black mist that blanketed the base of this mountain. At first I walked, but soon I started running. This was stupid and dangerous, since it was so easy to trip while traversing down the path, but I didn’t stop. The compulsion pushed me onward.

Soon I reached the edge of the arrays Astra had set up, marked by an almost entirely transparent barrier made of demonic qi. The barrier was impossible for me to notice from a distance, which was why I hadn’t seen it until I got this close. It only protected the upper half of the mountain, leaving the bottom half exposed. On the other side of the barrier, the purplish-black mist that gave the Black Mist Mountains their name swirled about.

While I lost my fear of the mountains, I remained wary of the mist. It still seemed malevolent and nefarious to me, as if it were a demon itself. In the dying light of the setting sun, it seemed even more sinister. Black demonic qi saturated it. My instincts warned me that the mist contained great danger, and I should avoid it at all costs. Fear gripped my heart, like an icy claw. The divine Fire qi inside me flared, as if reacting to the presence of the mist. I groaned and clutched my abdomen, as the pain overwhelmed me.

Gritting my teeth, I stood up straight and marched towards the barrier set up by Astra’s arrays. With each step, the divine Fire qi inside me burned hotter and hotter. While I maintained control of it for now, if this continued it would only be a matter of time before I lost that control. A part of me noted that I should have informed Astra about what I planned to do, but it was too late now. I was on my own.

When I reached the barrier, I hesitated for a moment, before stepping through. The moment I crossed the barrier, the purplish-mist enveloped me. It obscured my sight and my spirit sense, filling my entire world. I couldn’t see the barrier, even though I knew it was just one step away.

I heard a hiss as soon as I entered the mist. Swirls of it caressed my body, as if it was…licking me. I shivered. The mist felt cold. Without Astra’s arrays, nothing prevented the cold from seeping into my bones. However, afterwards, nothing happened.

No. That wasn’t right. As soon as the mist tasted me, for lack of a better term, the malevolence I sensed from it earlier disappeared. Instead of a nefarious force intent on harming me, it now just seemed like mist. Strange and filled with demonic qi, but still just mist. It smelled and tasted acrid, which I found unpleasant, but that was it. In fact, I otherwise found the mist soothing.

A part of me wondered if the malevolence I felt earlier had been my imagination, but I didn’t think it was. It felt too vivid to be just a product of my imagination. What changed then? Had it recognized me as demonkin? That was the only explanation I could think of.

The divine Fire qi inside me flared again, pulling me out of my thoughts. The pain brought me to my knees, and I felt my control over it slipping. If I didn’t deal with it soon, it would burn me from the inside out.

Without wasting any more time, I sat in the lotus position and closed my eyes. I performed the breathing exercises necessary and soon cleared my mind, falling into a meditative trance despite the pain I felt. After enduring it over these past few months, I had become something of an expert at that.

As I performed the breathing exercises, the purplish-black mist filled my lungs, bringing demonic qi with it. Like before, when Astra purged any lingering divine Fire qi from my body, the demonic qi felt good. It felt right, as if I was always meant to embrace it. If it hadn’t been for the pain I felt, I would have reveled in the sensation.

I took a tiny mote of demonic qi and circulated it through my meridians and refined it. Unlike the divine Fire qi, I felt no pain. Instead, my body welcomed the demonic qi the way a land suffering from drought welcomed the rain.

After I circulated the mote through my meridians, I brought it to my dantian region. The moment it came into contact with the divine Fire qi, both reacted explosively. The divine Fire qi bucked under my control, threatening to consume me from the inside out. I coughed up blood, the taste of salt and iron filling my mouth.

With an effort of will, I shoved the mote of demonic qi into the ball of divine Fire qi and placed it in the center. The moment I did so, everything stilled for a single moment, as if holding its breath. That moment passed, and the divine Fire qi exploded out of control. It surged through my entire body. Despite this, I didn’t feel any panic. This was because the moment I had inserted the mote of demonic qi into the center of the divine Fire qi, the pain disappeared.

After that initial explosion, I retook control of the divine Fire qi and circulated it through my meridians. The golden qi burned through my entire body. I felt it changing me, purifying me. It refined my muscles, tempered my bones, and strengthened my internal organs. My senses, already sharp thanks to the Song of Dawn and Dusk technique, grew even sharper.

At the same time, I felt my dantian form. It was as if I contained a sea of golden qi inside my body, with a single mote of demonic qi serving as the heart of the sea.

This went on for an indeterminable amount of time. When my body stopped changing, I circulated the divine Fire qi…No. I circulated my qi one last time, before I stopped and opened my eyes. Darkness surrounded me on all sides. Thanks to the mist, I couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but I assumed it was well past sunset by this point.

A sticky, tar-like substance covered my entire body. It smelled foul. Impurities.

Still, I didn’t care. I succeeded. I had entered the Qi Condensation realm. I was a cultivator. More importantly, I had become a divine demon.

I had started my journey on the path towards immortality.