Demiurge (a Poseidon self-insert in Percy Jackson)

 

I sat alone watching the stars away from Othrys, the looks, the voices and her eyes that I could not escape from.

 

I felt a presence, a familiar one. My essence yearned for her arrival as two stars reaching for each other. The presence behind me could only be hers. I knew that sooner or later, she would learn what happened. I expected her to be angry with eyes full of hatred and betrayal.

 

 

I had taken my precautions just after what happened with Hestia. If something happened to me, Othrys would still be able to go on. I would not try to flee or defend myself if anything happened because I deserved everything wrong that was about to happen to me. As long as I was the only one paying for the sins of Othrys, I was okay with it.

 

 

I heard the sound of the grass being crushed as if a weight was destroying it. With each step she took, the island shook as if Gaia's anger had been directed to it.

 

She stopped just behind him. I could almost touch her. "Why?" she only said.

 

"Because I had to or maybe I thought I had to," I spoke.

 

It began raining "I don't understand Kronos. It's as if I have been thrown into the realm of the darkness. You loved Hestia so much yet what you did to her, to your daughter was something that even some of the foulest gods would baulk at." Her voice broke and with it, my black heart twisted painfully.

 

 

I had never wanted to make her sad, to hurt her. Everything I ever did had been for her and my family. Everything was so simple before yet It wasn't anymore.

 

 

I didn't turn towards her even though I wanted to because I didn't want to see on her face the pain I had directly inflicted on her. "Do what you have to do Rhea. If you want vengeance, justice, I won't fight it," I told her.

 

 

The solution had always been there before my own eyes. My touch was like a poison that darkened and turned rotten everything I touched. Othrys was supposed to fall because of me.

 

My children, my blood were the ones supposed to destroy my family and everything we created but those children wouldn't come into existence if I ceased to be. Maybe a long time after I am gone, Tethys will begin to see me again as her brother.

 

 

I had thought about doing it by falling on my scythe or by jumping directly into the stomach of Khaos but something, a premonition told me that Rhea would soon come. If someone deserved to take my life, it wasn't me but the one I had hurt the most, my wife Rhea.

 

I heard the screech of metal being bent. A sword was thrown at my feet and sank into the ground as if it was butter. "I can see your heart Kronos and you want punishment, You long for an end and that's what I should give you, that's what my father himself wanted to inflict on you before I stopped him," her voice said to me.

 

"Why did you stop your father or yourself," I asked her. I felt exhausted and could not suppress it anymore. The perfect mask of indifference and stoicism was cracking "Why don't you avenge her, do what needs to be done?"

 

"Because even with what you did, even though it feels as if my heart had been pierced by a primordial, I still love you." She began laughing. Her laugh wasn't one of joy but one full of derision and I realized self contempt. "You, the deity I love, that I adore killed, assassinated our daughter in the most abominable way, our daughter and I still love you. I wish I didn't it so it wouldn't hurt as much as it does."

 

 

"I'm sorry," I finally told her. "My siblings and you are my everything. If I could be someone else, someone who wouldn't hurt you, I would but I can't be that person Rhea."

 

 

She came and sat at my side yet it felt as if we had never been further apart "We shouldn't have been parents," she finally said.

 

"You're right. I don't think that I can be better than my parents. I've pulled away the veil from my face. So what now?" I asked her.

 

 

"Now, we continue together like we always have since we met," she answered me.

 

 

"Even after everything? Sometimes love doesn't excuse sins, Rhea. It would be better if we stopped," I told her.

 

She sighed "You're a bad manipulator when it comes to people close to you. Do you want us to stop?"

 

"No," I replied honestly. "I want to stay with you until the last stars burn out and Khaos awakes from his slumber. I never want to stop what we have. I want to engrave you on my existence and my Heart for eternity." Kronos felt moisture on his cheeks. The sky of the island had turned wild, menacing. The waters were churning angrily. The wind was howling like a demented beast. I was now screaming maybe at Rhea, the world or myself "I want Hestia to still be here. I wish that You and I could have been the perfect parents. I wish that for once I could look at my own face and not see her plastered ichor on me".

 

 

"You wish for a lot," Rhea told me. Her hair was soaking wet and framed her head in a curly Halo. "I don't ever think I could forget or forgive what you did. Something in me screamed to erase you and me after. What happened Kronos? We were supposed to be better than our parents"

 

 

"What happened is that we stopped dreaming and reality came to us. Maybe in another world, a kinder one, things would be different. I hate what I did," I admitted to my wife.

 

"But I don't regret it and I'll probably do the same thing again. Do you still want to share eternity with me" I questioned the daughter of Aether.

 

 

 

She turned to look at me. Her gaze pierced through the numerous masks that made me, to look truly at my essence. I wondered what she saw that I couldn't. "I look at you and see only love and care toward me, towards Hestia yet even with a love shining as bright as Phanes, you still murdered our daughter. I see regret and self-hatred. You want me to hurt you in order to partly extinguish your guilt."

 

She came close to me and kissed me. I let myself be submerged, I didn't try to fight or do anything. One of her teeth split my skin and made my ichor rivulet. She split from me and cupped his cheek lovingly. The gesture didn't erase the mix of hatred, sadness and disgust in her eyes "I love you more than my own being. There won't be a mercy next time Kronos because I will be there to make sure if you make an error like this again to grant you the cessation you wish for. I'll join you after, something I know you don't want Kronos."

 

 

She came close to my ear and whispered "My life is in your hands, Husband."

 

She pushed me gently and his head met the ground. She straddled me. "You took a child from me. You owe me another one. This time," she murmured, we will be better."

 

I wondered who she was trying to reassure, me or her. I didn't say anything. He knew without trying to look through the rivers of time what would happen. I was a liar, a monster and a coward. My only redeeming trait was the love I had for his family. I would not let anything challenge their well-being again. I would never let them suffer again.

 

 

I loved Rhea and hated hurting her but looking into her eyes, we both knew that it would happen again. My thoughts were chased away by a kiss.

 

Maybe in another world, I could have been a better Kronos.

 

Months later, Rhea would give birth to a child, a young girl with eyes reminiscent of our mother. Rhea would name her Demeter. I ignored the sadness in the eyes of the child as if she knew already what I would do and like with Hestia swallowed her in a spectacle of gore and cruelty.

 

I ignored the whispers and the looks from both my siblings and my subjects. I could understand it coming from others but from my siblings? From them? I wanted to scream at them. Everything I ever did had been for them and how did they reward my love, my care? With suspicion and with avoidance. I feared more than anything that they would leave me. Tethys, the one I thought would never actually leave did it. What proof had I that in the future maybe Krios or Mnemosyne wouldn't be doing the same thing?

 

 

"I told you before that I would do it again," I said to Rhea when she came to him anger and despair engraved on her face, tears streaming from her beautiful eyes.

 

She would answer me by kissing me. The same way my weakness was Rhea and my siblings, the same way I was for Rhea’s weakness. In the same way, I could never fathom to hurt directly one of my siblings directly, the same way Rhea would never thought about hurting me. I had to admit that it was a gamble, one that I would have honestly not regretted losing.

 

Months later, she would give birth to another child, another girl. I saw in the eyes of Rhea that the goddess had already lost hope yet she was still clinging to a fantasy, a dream of a perfect family. She didn't want to realize or admit that the one she married, that she loved was even a worse father than the primordial god of the sky.

 

"Why?" she would always ask me sounding broken.

 

I would see her sadness and see it as an incentive to harden my heart to not fall apart "It was necessary," I would always tell her. "It was for the best of themselves and Othrys," I would repeat. They became words engraved in my mind always waiting to come out.

 

Her eyes, her beautiful green eyes would turn hateful but strangely not at me. Each time she would kiss him and envelope ours in bliss and debauchery maybe trying to find something she could never truly have in the contact of our skins.

 

Our song and dance would repeat again months later. This time, it would be a boy, a shy and soft child. The boy reminded me of Hestia the first time I saw her even though he couldn't be more different physically than her with his eyes so black they seemed to be doorways in the domain of the night and a skin so pale that looked like chalk.

 

The child had reminded me of my older brother Lapetus. In another world, I wouldn't doubt the fact that the child, Hades, as Rhea had called him would have been like the mirror image of Iapetus.

 

 

"Father," the child had begged.

 

"Mother," the child had screamed.

 

In the end, all of his efforts were nought. I felt as if it almost became easier after swallowing the child. I wondered how much I had changed that being bathed in the ichor of one of my own children became more like a chore than anything else.

 

I would not see Rhea after this for a year. I had thought that Maybe she had finally seen reason and left. Ending our marriage was what was best for Othrys and the both of us yet a part of me, an irrational part of him wished for Rhea to stay mine, for her eyes to still light up when she saw me.

 

Rheq would one day come and whisk me away from Othrys to the remote island that had become so much more for us, where it could be said that they became Kronos and Rhea, something greater than only the sums of the two of us.

 

"Can't you see it's useless?" I told her. "It's a neverending cycle that only hurts us. I'm tired of hurting you but I will do so if I must" I had said to Rhea looking into her eyes.

 

"I don't see it as useless and do you know why? Because I have hope in the future, in us even if it seems senseless. I believe in us, I believe in you Kronos," she answered.

 

"Do you believe the words coming from your mouth or are you trying to convince yourself?" I asked her.

 

Her answer was to kiss me.

 

Rhea gave birth like the other times to another deity a month later. The deity would come to the world in the form of a horse. Like all the previous times I would swallow the child. Kronos had thought that what needed to be done had been accomplished but I had been wrong.

 

 

 

Rhea had tricked me without me knowing it. She had grown tired of seeing child after child being slaughtered by their own father.

 

 

I hadn't known this at that time and my goal had been to not be forgiven by Rhea because what I had done was unforgivable but had been to try to alleviate my guilt, the one I had felt each time I had looked into her broken emerald eyes. I could never give Rhea what she truly wanted, the family I had promised but instead, I could give her the world and all its wonders to her. Rhea would never completely trust me but I already knew this. After all, my actions had been less for her and more for me.

 

I never said it but I knew that Rhea was aware that his actions were caused because of a need for penitence, absolution perhaps.

 

 

Things went well for two years. It could never be like before the unforgivable but necessary sins that I had committed but it seemed that our relationship came as close as possible to what it was.

 

Things had been too perfect and I should have known that something was amiss. One day, Rhea would tell me a terrible truth. She had given birth to a child, my child and hid it away from my eyes.

 

I had felt both frightened and angered. A plan had bloomed in my mind immediately after the announcement of Rhea to make sure to get rid of the threat. I knew that Rhea could see and sense the true emotions felt by anyone be they mortal or immortal.

 

 

I knew that I would never have access to the child if Rhea thought rightly so much as an instant that I would hurt them.

 

 

So, I used my dominion over time to freeze my emotions. I could not lie to Rhea with emotions of anger and fear but Rhea didn't know that I had planned a counter to her sight.

 

 

 

I did one of the things he was best. I lied to the woman I loved the most and Rhea, sweet Rhea believed me.

 

To her credit, she didn't immediately lead me to the place where the child was hidden. A child who had been named Poseidon, she would tell me.

 

 

I had grovelled for centuries into an underground cavern. I knew how to be patient and my patience was rewarded a month later.

 

 

Rhea brought me to a hidden city to my senses, a city in Othrys, in my domain that I wasn't aware of, a city where only the boy was worshipped with effigies and statues everywhere. I could see in the eyes of the inhabitants wild fervour, adoration to the point of madness.

 

Rhea would lead me to a gigantic temple easily the size of my main castle and there I would meet the child. The child took after Rhea more than Kronos. He had inherited the same shade of green as Rhea. His hair was arranged in unruly curls and waves, a mirror image of his mothers.

 

 

When I observed the child, I found little resemblance. It could be argued that the child had inherited a part of my facial structure from which I could not see it. The child was playing with a sword made of ice. The improvised weapon cut with each movement through the air like a razor and left behind his wake miniatures shockwaves.

 

 

While the child was playing, I could see a woman, a servant at his side. She was fussing over like him a dragon with its eggs. It was easy to see she wasn't comfortable with the sword in the hand of the child. "My prince,” I heard “maybe you should lay down the sword. You could hurt yourself," she pleaded to the child.

 

 

The child groaned and turned towards the woman "You worry too much Arne. Nothing will happen".

 

His gaze met with the eyes of the servant named Arne and he sighed "All right, I'll stop but in exchange, you'll have to cook tonight your wonderful recipe of bull and Ambrosia."

 

Arne laughed "I'll make it for you tonight my prince so that you may grow to be the strongest, my prince".

 

"I'm already the strongest," the boy shouted.

 

Arne kneeled to be at the level of the child "If you were my prince," she said softly. She jumped on the young deity and began to tickle him "You would still not be weak against my wandering hands," she told him.

 

The child began to laugh "Stop, that's cheating, you can't do that."

 

"But I can my prince. It means you're not the strongest yet," she told him.

 

She stopped but the child didn't try to leave her touch contain to remain in her arms. "One day, I'll be the strongest and you'll be at my side, right Arne?" the boy asked her.

 

"I'll always be there with you my lord, I promise," she answered him.

 

'Eyes are mirrors of one's true self' I reminded myself. 'You can't hesitate," I said to myself. Something I wasn't sure of told me that leaving that child, this young god alive would assuredly cause the downfall of everything I held dear and myself.

 

 

I truly wished there was another way. I thought about what I would have to do and suppressed a gag. Eating my children was the only way I had to ensure their end. If maybe they were lower immortals like nymphs or potamoi or even most of the Titans of the second generation, my scythe would have been enough but they were my children with Rhea, a deity that could go face and win against a primordial. The scythe would have hurt them but I wasn't sure that it could have worked.

 

 

With my scythe, there were so many ways for things to go wrong, mistakes that could result in disastrous consequences.

 

I knew that my father wasn't really gone, turned to nothing. It would take time, millions of years but one day, the primordial god of the sky would come back. I couldn't afford the same thing happening with my children.

 

I strengthened my resolve and made my presence known with a loud step. The young boy and his caretaker turned towards me.

 

"Who are you?" The boy asked sounding wary.

 

"Me? I am your father child, Kronos of Othrys," I answered him.

 

"We are family," I added

 

"Then, why do I only meet and learn of your existence now?" The boy questioned.

 

 

"Because I did things in the past that I haven't been proud of, that still haunts me and those things child, even though I didn't want to, those things I've done have hurt your mother," I spoke. The best lies were those that weren't lies at all. "She had feared rightfully that those actions could have resulted in me hurting you too."

 

 

"But things have changed," I added. "I'm better."

 

I felt the touch of Rhea on my shoulder "Your father isn't perfect Poseidon but he changed and is here now. Won't you give him a chance?"

 

 

I directed my hand to my child. I only needed one touch. The boy hesitated at first before slowly pushing his arm to grab my hand.

 

It seemed that my task would be easy until I saw a flash, an explosion of kaleidoscopic colours in the eyes of the child.

 

I only saw such eyes with Krios and Phoebe. Those were the eyes of a seer.

 

"Mother, he's goi-". The warning the child tried to say was too late. I expanded my dominion over time on all the hidden city and ejected Rhea from it.

 

Rhea was so much stronger than I was. Erecting a simple barrier would have been pointless but what I could do was to create through my domain an infinite distance between those outside the city and those inside by stopping time around the city.

 

 

No one could enter, no one could leave. "My prince, the prince must be protected!" I heard.

 

I turned to see all the population be they guards, men, children, and women of the city behind him with weapons most make shift. "Arne," what seemed to be a proper soldier clad in armour screamed. "You have to leave with The prince now!"

 

The girl didn't answer. She instantly scooped the child in her arms and began running. I looked at her going away but didn't worry. Nothing would stop me from accomplishing my task.

 

 

"Arne, no!" I heard the boy say. "We can't leave them. He's going to kill them all, Arne, Arne!"

 

"You can still live if you don't try to stop me. I'm just here for the child. You are all humans only, immortal because of my decree. You have all eternity before you. Don't be foolish," I told them.

 

 

My words instead of discouraging them seemed instead to have invigorated them. I saw how their breaths became ragged, how the blood in their veins began to pump, and how their grips tightened over their weapons.

 

I sighed. "I gave all of you a choice."

 

I summoned my scythe. "Let's finish this quickly."

 

With a step, I reappeared between them and with my scythe in hand rotated on my heel. my adamant scythe went through bones and flesh as if they were non-existent.

 

 

 

I could see each detail of how their blood erupted in the air like an ascending wave, how their heads and torsos began to disconnect from their lower bodies how their souls left their bodies, how pointless all of this was.

 

With another, I ran through a child and a guard. I saw how the contact of my skin with them at the speed I moved made them explode.

 

I stopped myself and the blood finally finished an arc in the air. I saw how The body parts began to fall in such an agonizing slow way it was almost maddening.

 

I waited an eternity for the blood to touch the ground and paint it in a dark scarlet. The crowd, well those remaining began to move.

 

I saw how slowly they tried to walk to where he was. They hadn't even realized what happened. I was a titan, the child of two primordials. How could they stand a chance?

 

 

The blood spilling on the ground finally began to produce a noise. They finally began to turn towards me and the carnage I had created.

 

I watched how fright, how fear took hold of their bodies. I could smell a nauseating odour meaning that one if not many of the remaining members of the crowds had either in fear defecated or pissed themselves.

 

Not all the blood had unfortunately splashed on the ground. It had fallen on me and dyed my hair a grotesque red. I put my right hand in my blood-soaked hair and felt something solid. I grabbed to inspect and came eye to eye with what seemed to either be some kind of organ or brain matter.

 

I sighed in annoyance "I'm repeating it again. You don't have to die. Don't put yourselves in my way and nothing will happen to you."

 

Instead of answering him, they rushed at him with roars. I closed my eyes and whispered, "Such a waste Rhea. Nothing like this would have happened if you hadn't hidden Poseidon".

 

I knew she could hear me "Kronos, please don't," she begged telepathically. "Why? Why? This is our child. What about what we promised each other so long ago? I know you're still the same god I fell in love with".

 

 

I opened my eyes. A sword was a millimetre away from one of them "I told you before that I would not stop. Rhea, I'm sorry that you love me" and with those words, I cut the connection between them.

 

'Maybe in another world' I thought 'in a 'perfect world,' I would not be feeling this guilt' and with that thought I let time consume everything.