Dead and Horny

The church was filled with the moans of the living as the undead fought to tear them apart. The room stank of blood and gunsmoke, burning through Tasia’s olfactory senses so hard that her eyes teared up. But none of this mattered to her as she threw herself repeatedly at the wiry figure in front of her.

Timotei. The vampyr was fast, and insanely strong, definitely more powerful than any vampire she had heard of. She had picked him up one time and rammed his skull through a support beam, only for him to come out the other side with just a scratch across his forehead. For all her raw strength and primal instinct, he always seemed to be one step ahead of her.

However, he wasn’t able to get the upper hand, either. He had tried to put her in a submission hold from behind, but she was too large. Earlier he had broken her knee with a roundhouse kick that would have totaled a car, but the break had healed almost instantly. Random gunfire tore holes through the both of them, but that was little more than background noise right now.

The two of them danced around each other, neither gaining more than a brief upper hand. Timotei’s constant shrieking about his daughter was emotionally painful, but Tasia had already distanced herself. She wasn’t about to forfeit her own life over a child-like murder machine.

Eventually, she managed to pin him down, her foot on his back as she pulled both of his arms back in an attempt to rip them off. Between the shouting and the gunfire, she heard the distant sound of a car pulling up to the church. Hoping that help hadn’t just arrived, she crouched down and pulled as hard as she could, feeling Timotei’s joints creak under the pressure. The vampyr hissed in agony, but did little to resist.

The car outside stopped. After a short amount of time, it started up once more and the gravel crunched as it pulled away.

“No. NO!” Timotei’s loose arms suddenly went tight in Tasia’s arms. “He was supposed to come in here. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO COME IN HERE!”

Tasia couldn’t even respond, her lupine form was terrible for communicating with words. Her claws slipped on Timotei’s arms, so she tried to dig them into his skin.

A high, keening wail came from the vampyr as he threw himself backward, toppling her with ease. He ran to the closest window, completely ignoring the melee around him.

“He’s leaving! Why is he leaving?” He spun in place and jabbed a finger at Tasia. “If he won’t come here for you, then I will bring you to him!”

Tasia raised her hands in a ‘bring it’ gesture. Timotei stepped toward her, his high speed movements blurring as he leapt to the side and slapped his hands down on one of the remaining Legion parishioners.

“Wha—” was all Legion managed to say before Timotei picked the body up and sank his fangs into the demon’s neck. Another Legion froze and spun to look at the vampyr.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” demanded the demon, then tried to run away when Timotei cast the withered husk to the ground and charged forward to grab the one that had spoken. Tasia watched in horror as the vampyr quickly drained several of the men and women who were remaining, leaving dried up bags of skin and bone on the floor. With each body drained, he moved faster and more gracefully than before. She had seen victims of a vampire feeding, but they were usually bloodless. These people looked like all the moisture had been sucked free of them, their hair even withering up and turning gray.

Timotei, on the other hand, exuded a powerful aura as he exploded forward, clawed hands grasping for her throat. He easily ripped her off balance, then smashed her through the nearest wall. They crashed into the kitchen, sending racks of food spilling across the floor.

“I tire of this,” he said, picking himself up off the floor. Tasia made a fist and threw a haymaker that connected squarely with Timotei’s face. The vampyr took the blow and sailed back through the hole they had made, but all the knuckles in Tasia’s fist broke upon impact. She howled in pain, clutching her hand to her stomach as the digits slowly squirmed beneath her fur, struggling to realign themselves.

“The Lord demands adversity,” said Timotei through the wall. He shoved aside the broken plaster and stepped back into the kitchen. A small bruise on his jaw was already fading away. “Through this challenge, I shall become worthy once more of His love and forgiveness.”

What a fucking whackjob. Remembering the apartment, Tasia looked around in hopes of finding a spice rack. They had packed some spices and rice in the backpack to deal with Timotei, but that had been lost early on in the fight.

Timotei slammed into her from behind, the two of them tumbling over the counter. Tasia bit down on the vampyr’s hand, but he curled his fingers around the fangs of her lower jaw and squeezed.

“Did you really think a mere dog could stand up to a proper vampyr?” He yanked her head down and delivered an uppercut that caused the world to dangerously narrow to a dark tunnel. “You are unholy, an abomination before the eyes of the Lord. You have forfeited your humanity, and for what? Fleas and belly rubs?”

A flying knee caught her in the temple, and she fell onto the ground, her sides heaving as she panted. Whimpering, she tried to get up on all fours, but Timotei threw a mean right cross that ruptured something in her eye.

“I was forced to stray from the light.” He grabbed Tasia by the scruff of her collar and started dragging her toward the door. “The Holy Father tests me because he knows that I am worthy. HE KNOWS THAT I AM WORTHY!”

Tasia couldn’t respond. Her limbs twitched as her brain struggled to reconnect to her body. Even when she had been forced to fight her own kind, the fights hadn’t been this one-sided. She whined as Timotei dragged her back into the nave and pulled her up the long, blood-stained ramp. If there were any living Legions left, she didn’t see them. It was all zombies now.

The vampyr came to a halt as a dark figure dropped down from above and crashed into the pews. Crimson wings flared dramatically outward as Lily rose, her eyes smoldering with flames.

“Demon.” Timotei let go of Tasia. “I won’t let you stand in my way.”

“Good.” Lily sauntered into the aisle, her tail sliding across the corpse of a mercenary and caressing his cheek. “You see, now that I’m not in a cage, things will be different.”

Timotei shook his head. “I went easy on you. Deacon’s orders.”

“Speaking of the good reverend…” Lily opened her mouth and the most unholy shriek of pain came from deep within. Timotei actually took a step back when he recognized Deacon’s voice. “He’s giving me heartburn.”

“Foul temptress.” Timotei hunched his shoulders and took a step forward. “I would rid the world of you if I could.”

The front door of the church banged open, and Eulalie stepped inside. She was holding her mace out in front of her like a talisman, her eyes scanning the room before settling on Timotei.

“Is it just him?” she asked, her gaze dropping to Tasia.

“He’s mine,” Lily declared, licking her lips. “We have unfinished business.”

“Please, don’t.” Eulalie rolled her eyes and moved forward to join the succubus. “If we team up, we drop him fast. If I let you do it by yourself, this all turns into a stupid trope.”

Tasia clenched her fingers and opened her wounded eye. Already, she was feeling better.

“Let’s do this count—” Lily’s eyes went wide as Timotei vanished and reappeared right in front of her. “Chocula?”

Timotei punched her. The one-two combo knocked Lily off balance, and Timotei grabbed Lily by the horns and rammed his knee into her jaw, launching her backward. Eulalie threw her mace, which Timotei dodged without even looking at. As the vampyr twirled out of the way of Lily’s tail, Tasia noticed that his eyes were now just dark orbs.

Timotei bared his fangs and hissed, then drove his fingernails into a pew and slammed it into Lily with enough force that it exploded. Eulalie moved forward to help out, but Timotei grabbed her by the shoulders and headbutted her so hard that she stumbled to the ground. The Arachne collapsed into a tiny ball of legs and rolled away out of sight.

“He’s fast!” Eulalie now skittered across the wall, ducking behind a pillar to avoid a thrown pew. Her forehead was bleeding.

“Strong, too.” Lily stood and pushed her jaw back into place. She moved to distract the vampyr from Eulalie, and was forced to dodge away as Timotei teleported once more across the room.

No, he wasn’t teleporting. He really was moving that fast. Tasia groaned and stood, her legs finally steady again. Why hadn’t he just taken his daughter back by force if he was this ridiculously strong?

Timotei was distracted by Lily, so Tasia grabbed him from behind and squeezed, hoping she could hold him in place. Lily dodged forward and tried to blind him with her tail, but he turned his head at the last moment. The magical mace slammed into his temple, doing no damage, and then Eulalie was there with a small cloth made of spider silk which she stuck to his head.

Timotei shook them all off, then stumbled around trying to pull the webbing off his face. The trio tried to get back in, but it occurred to Tasia that nothing they were doing was actually hurting him. Even if they got the upper hand, how were they supposed to take him out?

“Gah!” Timotei ripped the webbing free of his face, taking skin along with it. He contemplated the sticky mass in his hands and turned his full attention on Eulalie. “You.”

“Eep.” Eulalie barely managed to leap out of the way as Timotei lunged for her, his taloned fingers going for her throat.

“Don’t you dare!” Lily managed to get between the two of them, but the vampyr spiked the succubus so hard into the ground that smoke actually erupted from her body. Tasia made an attack of her own, slashing with her claws as Timotei ducked out of the way and then kicked her in the chest.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Eulalie had dropped her chitinous armor and was leaping around the room, barely avoiding Timotei. Tasia recognized almost immediately that the Arachne lacked combat experience, relying solely on her instincts for survival.

It wasn’t enough. Timotei moved ahead of Eulalie and snatched her out of the air before pile driving her into the ground.

“Where we come from, we step on spiders.” He wrapped his hands around her head and started to twist. “But this will have to do.”

From above came the sound of footsteps, and then Dana was sailing through the air, her arms crossed in front of her. Timotei actually stopped trying to break Eulalie’s neck, curious eyes on the blonde as she cleared the forty foot distance between them with ease.

The moment before impact, Dana whipped her arms out and forward. Twin blades unfolded, the overhead lights glinting off of their silvered edges as she brought them down. Caught off guard, Timotei didn’t move in time. One of the swords caught him on the forearm, spilling his blood on the carpet.

“Get away from her,” said Dana, her eyes wild and twitching. “Stay away from my friend.”

Timotei sneered at her. “When I’m done with you, I’m going to kill—” The vampyr trailed off as Dana ran the bloodied sword along her tongue, then moaned in ecstasy at the taste.

“You taste delicious.” Dana smacked her lips as her head jerked to the side like a junky seeking a fix. “And I want more.”

“I see.” The vampyr bared his teeth. “You won’t leave here alive.”

Dana laughed hysterically, her pupils dilating as she focused on Timotei. “Finally, we agree on something!” she cried, then lunged forward, her movements becoming a blur.

Tasia stared in awe as the two of them ripped and slashed at each other. Dana was nearly Timotei’s match for speed, her blades glowing brightly as their innate magic ignited on contact with the vampyr’s skin.

“Hey.” Eulalie slapped a hand down on Tasia’s shoulder. “This is super bad right now, but I have a plan.”

Tasia gestured forward quizzically, as if to say “How the hell do we beat that?”

“Lala?” Lily joined them, using her wings to swat away a stray zombie. “Better make it quick.”

Do you remember when I mentioned I had a plan B?” Eulalie rummaged around in her pockets and pulled out a small device. “I’ve got one for him and one for them.” She gestured toward the zombies.

“What is that?” asked Lily.

“Detonator.” Eulalie grinned. “For the bombs I planted. This place is packed with C4.”

Tasia’s jaw dropped.

“You rigged this place to blow?” Lily swatted away another zombie with her tail. “Why the fuck would you do that?”

Eulalie shrugged. “If we couldn’t get you out, I was gonna blow the whole place up just on principle. Figured that would free you of whatever cage they had put you in, give us some more options.”

“I fail to see how that helps us now,” muttered Lily.

“We need to get him into the attic.” Eulalie pocketed the detonator. “I need to deactivate my signal jammer and then I’ll be back down to help.” The Arachne flexed her legs and leapt straight up into the air nearly thirty feet before landing on a pillar and scurrying away into the rafters.

Tasia jabbed a finger in Dana’s direction and made a grunting sound.

“Shit, I don’t know. Just go punch the fucker until he stops moving.” Lily rolled her eyes as hellfire sprouted along her horns. “C’mon, let’s go give this asshole the mean girl treatment.”

At last, they were speaking the same language.

---

Dana’s heart was pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. When she opened her mouth to breathe, she could taste the ash, soot, and blood in the air. It was like breathing in vaporized rocket fuel, and every engine inside her body had finally ignited.

Eulalie looked up from her character sheet, her eyes studying the table. “So I’ve been crunching the numbers—”

“Which is code for bullshit.” Velvet reached over toward Bigfoot and stole the chip bowl. “You’re not actually doing math over there.”

Eulalie rolled her eyes, then looked at Dana. “She failed algebra, can’t comprehend any numbers bigger than twenty.”

“I also don’t need algebra.” Velvet stacked the chips and shoved them in her mouth. “Ah’m a mountain girl.”

“Anyway, we’re just one bad roll away from disaster.” She gestured at the cultist figurines. They had formed a circle around a pentacle that Bigfoot had drawn in red marker. “We’re low on health and need to increase the odds that we take one of them out. Ideas?”

“Fireball.” Velvet pointed at the middle of the pentacle. “You could hit all of them.”

“I could, but I have reason to believe that somebody here has planned for that.” Lala scowled at Bigfoot. He shrugged and popped open another beer. “So I was thinking Haste.”

“Haste?” Dana looked down at her character sheet, which had become blurry. On the table, the figurines had become distorted, their cloaks now replaced with outfits that looked more at home in a church.

“Yeah, pretty much gives you an extra turn.” Velvet leaned forward over the table, a wide grin on her face. Her whole body was now translucent. “Combos really well with Two-Weapon Fighting.”

Timotei’s movements were no longer difficult to follow. In fact, he was now moving at regular speed as he tried to rip out Dana’s throat, but she brought up the swords to block. The vampyr hissed, the sound reminding her of a cracked tea kettle. The world around them had come to a crawl as Lily and Tasia spread out, moving slowly to pin Timotei in from the sides.

Eulalie cast Haste on Velvet’s ranger, whose turn came next. The Arachne sprinted through the cultists’ defensive line, causing Bigfoot to make attack of opportunity rolls.

“All misses,” he said.

“But didn’t a 15 hit before?” asked Dana, her voice echoing oddly in her own head.

“Bonus to armor class, cause I’m a fast girl now.” Velvet was smug as she picked up her dice and pointed to the nearest cultist. “It’s stabbing time!”

Dana scored another hit on Timotei, and jumped away before he could grab her by the wrist. She licked the blade again, her whole body practically vibrating with excitement as the vampyr’s blood flooded her with energy once more. Understanding blossomed somewhere deep within her, granting sinister knowledge that was both beautiful to behold yet difficult to accept.

“I will rip off your face.” Timotei’s words came out slurred, his features twisting up like an old rag being drained of water. He picked up a piece of a broken pew, then hopped backward toward the stage. Even though he appeared to be moving at normal speed, Dana’s brain still acknowledged that everything was happening quite fast. When Timotei’s feet touched the stage, he lunged forward so quickly that Dana was only able to parry aside the claw that reached for her face.

The broken pew splintered against her ribs but still managed to puncture a lung. She collapsed for only a moment, her left arm going numb, then rolled away and lashed out with her right arm. Timotei leaned away from the strike, then caught Lily’s tail to the face.

Lily’s massive scorpion’s stinger had sprouted barbs, and he was yanked off his feet and smashed into the ground. He grunted on impact, clutching at the tail with both hands as Lily smashed him into zombies and furniture alike.

“Hell yeah!” Velvet pumped her fist as Dana’s barbarian tackled the cultist assassin who had emerged from the shadows. “Three players is way better than two!”

Dana couldn’t help but smile. The Arachne’s enthusiasm was contagious. She grabbed the bowl of chips and was about to eat some when she remembered that she wasn’t actually hungry for food. Yet another dead girl thing. Staring down at her miniature, she pondered the fact that her burly mountain dwarf now had wings and a tail. Had it always been that way?

Looking up from the table, she saw that the cabin was gone. All around them, blurry figures shifted around busted furniture, with pockets of activity toward the corners. A massive crack had formed in the memory. Looking back down at the table, she realized that something was sticking out of her chest.

Dana paused to yank the stake out of her chest. The movement actually stung a little, which caused her to pause in contemplation. Her concentration ebbed and flowed, and she was now firmly back in her body.

What exactly had the vampyr’s blood awakened in her? It had been quite some time since she had felt anything resembling pain. Was the blood reawakening her nervous system?

Her stomach rumbled and she licked her lips. There would be plenty of time for thinking later. Timotei had wrapped an arm around a support beam and Lily was trying to pull him free. His features were strained as his fingers sank into the polished column, causing Lily’s feet to slide across the floor as she pulled. Triumphant, he turned his face toward the succubus, only to be t-boned by an aerial punch from Tasia.

The column exploded, and both the werewolf and the vampyr crashed to the ground. Lily fell backward onto the ground, then flinched when Timotei’s shoe landed on her face.

Dana was already moving, her swords whirling as she took out the zombies that stumbled around her. They didn’t interest her nearly as much as her quarry did, but she still had a responsibility to prevent an outbreak. Her blades now covered in the blood of the undead, she threw herself forward and came down on Timotei from above.

One blade slashed open the vampyr’s shirt, revealing sculpted abdominals and a thin wound that closed up almost instantly. The other was caught by Timtoei’s left hand, the metal making a sound akin to dry ice on steel as the magic attempted to burn away his skin.

Timotei tried to yank the sword out of Dana’s hand, but she jumped forward, maintaining her grip on the blade. When she landed on the other side of him, she whipped her arm around, causing the sword to slide free of his grasp. Timotei cried out in pain as the razor sharp edge slid up his arm, slicing off a chunk of flesh roughly the size of a piece of cheese.

The world became a tunnel of darkness as Dana fixated on that piece of muscle and skin, falling in slow motion toward the floor. Salivating in anticipation, she actually threw her swords away and leapt forward, snatching the meat out of midair. Clutched tightly in her palm, she could sense the incredible power trapped inside her prize. Holding it up to her lips, the air was suddenly filled with the aroma of smoked brisket and spices.

In a single motion, she popped the meat in her mouth and swallowed it whole.

“BITCH!” Timotei was back on his feet and he grabbed Dana by the throat with his good hand. “FILTH! ABOMINATION!”

A fire ignited in her belly, reminiscent of the time she had devoured the Dragon Seed. While that had been raw energy, what was inside her gut now was far more refined, and completely lacking a will of its own.

“Yeah, I’m gonna need you to roll a Constitution saving throw.” Bigfoot stood next to her now, a beer in one hand and the chip bowl in the other. “You can’t just eat someone on the battlefield like that without potential repercussions.”

“I say she gets advantage on the roll.” Velvet crossed her arms, her translucent form floating nearby. “She’s been eating weird stuff this whole campaign.”

Dana picked up the dice, the world around her now full of cracks. She was about to roll them when a dark hand closed over her own. Looking up, she saw Alex standing across from her.

“It’s time to wake up,” she whispered, then leaned forward and kissed Dana’s forehead.

“Al…ex…” Dana gasped as she clutched at Timotei’s hands. The vampyr slugged her in the belly with a bloodied fist, then opened his hand and tried to dig into her with his fingernails. A scorpion’s tail wound around his wrist, keeping him from tearing into her.

“Dog girl!” Lily wrapped herself around Timotei in an attempt to keep him from ripping Dana apart. “Sic balls!”

Tasia rose up from the debris, fragments of wooden benches falling away from her lupine shoulders. Growling, she charged forward and bit down on Timotei’s head, causing him to release Dana. The zombie fell to the ground, her whole body so hot she thought she would burst into flame.

The werewolf whimpered in pain as Timotei managed to kick her free, then reached over his shoulders and grabbed Lily by the horns. The two of them tussled as he danced among the pews, shouting what could have been obscenities in his own language.

“Tasia.” Dana knelt to help her up, her mind rapidly filling in what had actually happened in the last several minutes. Everything was still fuzzy, though, as if she was watching the playback on a broken monitor. However, the fog had finally lifted. 

To her dismay, Dana could see that Tasia’s torso was a bloody mess, the werewolf’s ribs visible through rapidly healing wounds. Pausing to contemplate the wolf’s injuries, Dana ran her hands over the slick fur. “I’m right here.”

Tasia whined, her eyes shut in pain. The werewolf had already been through so much, it almost pained Dana to see it. She looked down at her bloodied hands, her heart jackhammering in her chest as the phantom drums of the Nirumbi beat all around her. Taking a deep breath, she contemplated the sick idea that, somehow, she became what she ate.

Knowing that it was probably stupid to do so, Dana stuck her fingers in her mouth and sucked them clean. The savory taste of werewolf blood had her moaning in delight.

For a moment, it felt like the universe stopped. The church snapped into focus for the first time as Dana’s senses expanded outward as the intrusive memories shattered like glass. Her already sensitive nose was picking up dozens of smells that begged for her attention, but she focused on finding her swords. Timotei may still be stronger than she was, but he didn’t have enchanted blades. She found them on the floor next to a dead mercenary, his eyes focused on eternity. He was already starting to twitch and move, so she swung a sword and took out the developing zombie.

“Hey.” Eulalie called out from up above, a loop of spider silk in her hands. “I’ve got a plan that might work, but need you to help me get this around his neck.”

Dana smiled up at her friend, then turned her attention to Lily and Timotei. The two of them were now rolling around on the ground, the vampyr unable to get in a clean hit. Where he struck, floorboards exploded upward.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let the world fall away from her for just a moment. She pictured Alex first, the image of her dead girlfriend burned into her heart with crystalline clarity. Next she pictured Velvet, her friend’s phantom laughter echoing forever in her mind. Both of these things brought feelings of pain, remorse, and even guilt. But what they didn’t do was bring instability. For the first time in a while, she felt like she was all in one place.

Her eyelids snapped open and she moved toward Lily. The succubus saw her coming and nodded when she saw what Dana had planned. Timotei snarled at the two of them then let out a hideous shriek when Dana used the swords to shish kabob him to the succubus through his chest.

“Ooh, double penetration,” gasped Lily, her flesh now sizzling. “Straight to a girl’s heart.”

Timotei did not share her humor and tried to break free, but with the swords criss crossed through him like an X, he couldn’t get away from Lily. Dana grabbed his wrists and dragged them toward Eulalie, but he was still too strong. He managed to shove Dana back, but only for Tasia to take her place. The werewolf grunted and picked up both Lily and Timotei in a massive bear hug.

Snarling, Timotei tried to bite Tasia’s neck, but Dana hopped onto his shoulders from behind and hooked her fingers into his cheeks and pulled back hard enough that he couldn’t bite her. The four of them stumbled around like this for several long moments before the silken loop dropped down over his head. Dana let go of Timotei’s mouth and shoved the noose into place and then Eulalie pulled.

“Keep holding him,” she cried before disappearing through a hole in the ceiling. Slowly, the coil of webbing retracted as they were lifted into the air as a group. Timotei’s movements caused them to sway, but Dana used her free arm to guide them safely through the hole when they arrived at the ceiling. Eulalie was on the ceiling, her facial features pinched as she watched them from above. They were in the attic now, and on the other side of the room, a cold breeze blew in through the small rat portal tucked in the corner.

“Through there,” Eulalie said, then scurried toward the opening. Her body squeezed down to fit through the gap, which wasn’t much bigger than a dog door. Timotei sank his fingers into the wood, leaving thick gouges as the group was pulled together. Once at the opening, Dana made eye contact with Tasia, who simply nodded and then let go.

Lily vanished in a cloud of sulfur as Dana pulled her swords free. Timotei reached for the webbing at his neck, unable to pull it free before disappearing through the portal. The succubus shot through first and Dana followed. Looking back, she saw Tasia standing there, her tail drooping.

“Come through if you can,” Dana said, picking up her swords. “I won’t even joke about it.” Throwing herself through the opening, she rolled to the side as Timotei’s boot slammed down where her head had been. They were in a log cabin with broken windows, and there was snow on the ground outside.

“So what’s your big idea,” asked Lily as she slammed her fist into Timotei’s jaw. The vampyr took the hit, then reciprocated with a trio of punches followed by a kick that sent the succubus through a wall.

“Up here!” shouted Eulalie from up in the loft. At the sound of her voice, Timotei leapt into the air, but Mace intercepted him. When he fell back down, Dana was waiting.

With vampyr and werewolf blood rushing through her body, her swords whistled as she moved. She brought them down in an arc that would have cleaved a normal man in two, but got caught in the vampyr’s collarbone. He growled and slashed her face, but she leaned away and used the momentum to kick him in the balls.

Unimpressed, Timotei wrenched the swords free of his shoulder and tackled Dana. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed, the two of them now trying to crush each other. The bloody groove by his neck was right by her face, so Dana opened her mouth and bit down.

“NO! UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!!!” Timotei’s cries became panicked as he tried to pull himself away. Whatever plan he had was now forgotten as Dana triggered some sort of primal reaction from the man. He stumbled around, trying to rip her free as his blood strengthened her. Satisfied to do this forever, Dana happily chewed on him.

“I’ll show you unclean.” Lily came through the hole in the wall, her wings unfurling as she grabbed Dana by the waist and leapt up toward the loft. Eulalie stood near yet another opening, Mace clenched tight in her hands.

“Through here!” she cried, then stood aside as Lily threw both Dana and Timotei into the portal. There was a brief moment of resistance and then the two of them spilled onto manicured grass. They had come through a wooden shed, the front door of it now gone. Their destination was a golf course and the sun was just coming up over the horizon. At the sight of it, Timotei hissed and squinted.

“He’ll be weaker in the sun.” Eulalie stepped out of the shed, blood and sweat running down her face. “We can do it here.”

“YOU. WILL. DO. NOTHING!” The vampyr ripped Dana off of him and threw her to the side. He jumped to his feet and rushed at the Arachne. Eulalie leapt up in the air, revealing that Lily had been just behind her.

Lily’s curved horns glistened in the early dawn as she head-butted Timotei so hard that it sounded like a gunshot. They both went down, clutching at their heads.

“Figures you’d be this hard headed,” Lily groaned, then scrambled to her feet. Timotei shifted backward, hunched over on all fours. His features had sharpened, as if his skull had changed shape beneath his skin. 

“I will kill everything you’ve ever loved,” he growled, his wounds no longer closing up beneath the sun’s gaze. He looked at the three of them, then back toward the shed. Sneering, he took off running.

Dana tried to catch him, but the grass was wet and she went down. In slow motion, she watched as Timotei made his escape, moving too fast for Lily or Eulalie to stop him. He was going back through the portal.

There was a loud howl, and Tasia burst from the shed, her massive bulk blocking the vampyr’s exit as she took him down. Timotei fought to get away from her, but she had him pinned and was raining punches onto his face.

“Quick!” Eulalie moved toward the combatants. “Hold him still and we can finish him off!”

“I’ve got his legs!” Lily moved behind Tasia and used her whole body to force the vampyr’s legs together. “Someone get his arms.”

“On it!” Eulalie already had a loop of spider silk in one hand, which she slid onto Timotei’s wrist. She moved to the other side of him and pulled, which yanked his arm back and beneath him. “Someone hold the other one still for me!”

Dana moved in, stabbing her swords into the ground as she snatched Timotei’s free hand from Tasia’s fur. He growled and snapped as she yanked it out far enough that Eulalie could lash them together. His whole body bucked, nearly dislodging both Tasia and Lily.

“We have to hurry!” Eulalie picked up one of the swords and stood over the vampyr. “Tasia, lean back!”

The werewolf obeyed, and the Arachne brought the blade down on Timotei’s neck. It bit into the flesh, but just barely.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Eulalie swung again and again, but couldn’t behead the vampyr.

“Let me help.” Dana grabbed the other blade and took a few whacks herself. Timotei’s movements were becoming more wild now as he was fueled by anger and fear.

Tasia held out her massive paw for one of the blades. Dana handed hers over, and was surprised when the werewolf slid the sword under the vampyr’s head and then twisted the sharpened edge so that it was directly under Timotei’s neck. Grunting, she grabbed the handle with one hand to stabilize the sword and then punched Timotei in the face.

“Is he dead yet?” cried Lily from behind the werewolf.

“Almost!” Dana took the other sword from Eulalie and jammed the tip of the sword into the ground near the hilt of the other. She lowered the blade, transforming her Order swords into a massive, makeshift pair of scissors. Straining with all her might, she continued to push down, watching as the blade sank into flesh at a snail’s pace.

“Heads up!” Eulalie made a hand gesture at Mace, which flew up into the air. Dana watched it become a tiny dot up above them, then leaned away as the enchanted weapon slammed into the back of her blade.

Tasia nearly toppled over when Timotei’s head finally came off, but they weren’t done. The vampyr gnashed his teeth at them just before Eulalie punted his head away. His body still fought its confinement, but was no longer coordinated enough to put forth any true effort. When Tasia stepped away from him, it was Lily who took her place, holding out her hand.

“Sword, please.” She smirked when the handle of the Order’s blade began sizzling against her flesh. Lifting the sword up, she plunged it into Timotei’s still-beating heart. The vampyr’s body jerked in place for several minutes, but Lily held fast, wrapping her tail around Timotei’s waist.

“Holy shit,” she muttered when he finally went still. “What an asshole.”

Dana nodded from nearby, her gaze on Timotei’s head. “They’re not usually that tough, right?”

Nearby, the sounds of cracking bones diminished as Tasia returned to her human form. She was battered, cut, bruised, and naked. When she joined Dana, she let out a groan and grabbed her hip.

“Never heard of someone like this.” She squinted at the sun, then sneezed in response. “And as much as I’d like to discuss it more, when does this place open?”

Dana looked down at the destroyed, bloody turf and laughed. Both Lily and Eulalie looked at her in surprise.

“Someone is gonna be so pissed,” she said with a grin, then hopped to her feet. “But that’s what grounds fees are for, right? C’mon, let’s go finish up at the church. I believe we left a few demons behind.”

“Let’s.” Eulalie picked up Timotei’s body, careful to leave the sword in place. “We can drop his body in the snow, it’ll freeze up nicely. We’ll take the head somewhere else, make sure they never meet up again.”

The four of them moved toward the shed, and Lily stopped at the door. Groaning, she turned a dour face in Dana’s direction.

“Church. Twice in one day.” She made a face. “It’s like sky daddy hates me.”

“If you’re good, I’ll buy you some ice cream after.” Dana swatted the succubus on the butt, eliciting a yelp. “I might even let you eat it out of my lap.”

---

Clean up at the church took nearly an hour. Eulalie clung to one of the remaining support beams, her eyes on the eight struggling figures she had wrapped up in silk and hung from the ceiling like bait. Down below, zombies milled about, their arms reaching up in need.

Footsteps below revealed that the others had returned. Tasia, in werewolf form, was carrying several bodies, which she tossed onto a pile in the corner. Dana and Lily did the same, then the three of them moved around the horde and toward the stage.

“Well?” asked Eulalie.

“We managed to track them all down.” Dana did a quick scan of the room. “As far as I can tell, we’ve got the whole congregation here. I don’t know about the security team. I never saw them all.”

“It also doesn’t help that there isn’t a lot left to identify.” Lily stared at the pile of the dead. “But we tracked everyone that left here on foot. Dog girl sniffed a few more out of hiding.”

“But if there’s anything undead out there, we missed it, plain and simple.” Dana glared at the nearest Legion. “And if there are any more of you, then I guess you got lucky.”

The figure, a middle-aged man, struggled at his bonds. These final Legion meatsuits had been the most difficult to take down. It was clear the concentrated essence of the demon gave them far more strength, and Eulalie had worried early on how strong a single one could become. So they had worked as a team, taking them down so that Eulalie could tie them up. When properly woven, her spidersilk had similar tensile properties to aircraft cables. To keep them from killing themselves in an attempt to escape, Eulalie had wrapped them in such a way that any attempt to break free cut off oxygen supply to the brain. Still, three of them had passed out this way early on.

“So does that mean we’re done here?” Dana looked at Tasia. “Do we still need the wolf?”

Eulalie sighed, then ran her fingers over Mace’s head. This whole mess had been her fault, and she knew there would be weeks ahead on her computer in an attempt to clean the whole thing up. Months of meticulous planning couldn’t have accounted for a demon who could break all the rules. A famous pastor and a true vampyr hadn’t helped matters at all. It was almost four in the morning, which meant they only had a couple of hours until daybreak.

“Yeah, I think we’re done.” Eulalie nodded at Tasia. “Thank you for all your help.”

The werewolf nodded, her form already shrinking down. She was naked once again, but Dana handed over her last remaining outfit from the bag.

“It’s my job,” Tasia replied, then winced. “Well, it was my job.”

“It still can be.” Dana put a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Just maybe not for the Order.”

Tasia sighed, then pulled on a pair of Dana’s shorts followed by a tank top. The top was stretched thin and the shorts wouldn’t button. They were so short on Tasia that her buttcheeks hung out the bottom.

“So I guess this is it.” Eulalie turned to the nearest Legion. “In a few minutes, I’m either sending you straight to Hell, or the hunt begins anew. I don’t suppose you’ll let me know which one it is?”

Legion’s eyes blazed with defiance. There was a weight in the air, the presence of the demon itself pressing down on them in a spiritual sense.

“I wonder how different the world would be if they knew demons were real? If people truly understood that there was something beyond all this?” Eulalie gestured to the havoc below. “If I didn’t think you were—”

“Ahem.” Dana cleared her throat loudly. “You’re monologuing.”

Eulalie snorted. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” She crawled up the ceiling and undid the anchors suspending Legion in place, then moved them so that they dangled all together like a massive, human chandelier. Crawling down the spidersilk, she pulled one of the rigged explosives from her pocket and strapped it in place in the middle. When it went off, it would kill all eight of Legion’s meatsuits simultaneously. “There. I think we’re ready.”

Dana unfolded her sword and leapt into the zombies. With pinpoint accuracy, she took them out, reducing the small horde to yet another pile of bodies. Lily sauntered out of the room toward the kitchen, using her tail to pull over a chair that had somehow remained upright through the battle.

Sweat beaded up on the many faces of Legion. Originally, Eulalie had been hoping to do something similar to Leeds’ imprisonment, perhaps even finding a spiritual container she could trap the demon inside. But she knew now that this entity was a cut above the rest. While Leeds was simply a madman, Legion was smart. She couldn’t take the risk that someone else may stumble upon the demon, and Lily had reassured her that Hell was probably the safest place.

“All done,” Dana declared, using someone’s shirt to wipe off her blade. The sword folded up and she tucked it into her belt. “No Night of the Living Dead today.”

Eulalie clung to Legion, her lips spread thin. The demon looked back at her, blackened eyes smeared with soot.

“Hundreds of years ago, you traded your body for that of a mortal,” she said, and Legion’s eyes widened in surprise. “And like how a butterfly creates a hurricane, I lost my sister because of it.”

Legion made a muffled sound, and Eulalie casually pinched the silk free from the man’s mouth.

“You can hardly blame me for something I didn’t do,” Legion snapped, teeth bared.

Eulalie looked around the room, then shrugged. “I’m half human. I can absolutely blame you for whatever the fuck I want.” She leaned forward and inhaled the demon’s fear through her nostrils, her fingers already creating a replacement gag. “I want you to know that the next time you escape from Hell, I’ll be waiting to send you back in pieces.”

Legion snorted. “Foolish insect, I am eternal.”

“Perhaps.” Eulalie glared at the demon. “But so is my love for my sister.” With a smooth movement, she gagged the demon once more. The last thing she wanted was for it to use some last moment spellcraft to escape.

Lily came out of the kitchen with a smirk on her face. “Tea will be ready soon,” she said. She was followed by the scent of natural gas.

Eulalie helped the others up to the attic where they all fled through the portal. On the other side, a group of rats waited for them in the cabin, wringing their paws anxiously.

“Who wants to do the honors?” Eulalie pulled out the detonator, then flipped open the top to reveal a button. She moved away from the portal toward the nearest window. Outside, Timotei’s body was busy cooling in the snow.

“This is all you,” said Lily as she fell into a disused chair. “I’m done.”

The Arachne looked at Tasia first, then Dana. The zombie came over and slid an arm around Eulalie’s waist.

“Let’s do it together.” She moved her hand over the detonator so that her thumb hovered over the button. Eulalie nodded, and the two of them pushed it together.

There was a five second delay, yet another safety precaution, and then the detonator’s signal went out to the makeshift router Eulalie had rigged in the attic to ensure that the signal would go out properly. The resulting blast destroyed the portal, but not before sending a stream of hot gas and fire across the floor to scorch the old wood of the cabin.

Lily got to her feet and used her wings to smother the flames before the rest of the cabin could ignite. A few of the rats used fire extinguishers to get the rest of it, and Eulalie let out a sigh as she crouched down in the corner.

Emotions, hot and raw, bubbled up inside her, and she put her face in her hands. Yet no tears came. After all, her kind was unable to cry.

A pair of arms wrapped around her, holding her close. It was Lily, her wings enfolding Eulalie like a blanket. The succubus bowed her head forward, then took a deep breath and softly sang a lullaby in the voice of Ana Rae. It was the song Eulalie’s mother had sung for both of her daughters whenever they had trouble sleeping.

For just a moment, the Arachne wanted to demand answers, to question Lily about how she knew that song. Instead, she sank into the words, allowing the melody to comfort her. Moments later, a second pair of arms wrapped around her, followed by a third. Surprised, Eulalie looked up into Tasia’s crystalline blue eyes.

“I don’t know what all you’re going through, but…I’m here to help, if I can.” Tasia bit her lip nervously.

“Thank you,” Eulalie whispered, then closed her eyes. “I guess, for now, I just need a minute. Just like this, if you could.”

Tasia nodded. “I can and I will.”

---

The rats chewed another portal into the wall, this time to another airbnb that Eulalie had rented somewhere in Washington. It was a large house up in the mountains, overlooking the ocean. As they stepped into the living room, Tasia immediately moved to the nearest couch to flop down.

“I wouldn’t,” warned Dana as she grabbed Tasia by the wrist. “You’re filthy.”

“It’s a rental, though.” Tasia sighed and looked down at herself. Although her clothes were clean, there were blood stains all over her skin.

Lily walked to the kitchen, swinging her hips and whistling. In her hand was Timotei’s head, the vampyr’s eyes watching them.

“I’m just gonna put this little fella on ice,” she declared, then disappeared.

“Wrap him in a bag first,” said Eulalie. “They have a very strict no-blood policy!”

“Ugh, fine,” grumbled Lily. She held up Timotei. “Maybe they’ll have an apple I can put in your mouth.”

Dana moved to the nearest window and looked outside. It had been a long night, but she was still full of energy. She could feel her heart beating now in her chest, longer and more vibrantly than since she had died. However, she knew it wouldn’t last. Even now, the tempo was dropping, the energy consumed to fuel her regeneration.

It didn’t help that she’d been horny since before the fight at the church. Her regeneration after the car crash felt like days ago, but there hadn’t even been time to rub one out. She looked over at Tasia, who had wandered down the hallway toward the bedroom. With a mischievous grin, Dana followed.

The master bedroom was massive, with a view of the bay. Tiny lights dotted the horizon, most likely fishing vessels that were still out on the water. Tasia’s clothes had been tossed in the corner, but not before she had carefully folded them. Dana smiled, then paused and waited for the sound of running water. She stealthily removed her clothes and walked around the corner into the master bathroom.

Tasia stood beneath the spray of an enormous walk-in shower. It could easily hold five people and even had a bench to sit on. Her many scars were hidden beneath bruises that had already faded a bit, her own regenerative properties pushed to their limit. With her head tossed back to allow water to stream down those dark strands and onto her back, she looked as if she’d been carved from marble, the artist spending extra attention on the muscles in Tasia’s arms and legs.

Dana licked her lips. Sneaking up behind the werewolf, she snaked her arms up Tasia’s muscular sides to cup her breasts. Tasia jumped, then looked back over her shoulder.

“You startled me,” she admitted. “Couldn’t even smell you, the soap they have in here is scented.”

“You and I have unfinished business,” Dana declared, then pressed her breasts into Tasia’s back. “If you’re willing, that is.”

Tasia chuckled, then picked up the nearest loofah. “If you help me get clean first, I’ll help you get dirty. By the way, you stink.”

“Like what?” Dana frowned, suddenly anxious. She was aware that her own personal scent could be very unnerving.

Tasia turned around with the loofah and winked. “Like wet dog.”

Dana laughed, hard. It bubbled up from her gut, and she actually clutched her stomach in an effort to stop. Tasia laughed along with her, then squirted some soap onto the loofah. At their feet, the water had already turned a dark color.

Dana grabbed Tasia by the neck and pulled her down so that their lips could meet. Tasia took Dana by the waist and lifted her up, casually holding her a foot off the ground as she turned around and pressed Dana against the wall. Dana wrapped her legs around Tasia’s waist and squeezed.

Tasia grunted and broke their kiss. “Too hard,” she said with a wince. “I can’t tell you how many times that asshole broke my ribs.”

“Sorry.” Dana undid her legs and sank to the floor. “Here, let me make it up to you.”

Water ran off of Tasia’s thick pubic hair and formed into thin streams. Dana buried her face in Tasia’s crotch, inhaling her musky fragrance. Tasia groaned, lifting her hips and arching her back to give Dana better access.

“You were…supposed to…wash me,” Tasia muttered, running her fingers through Dana’s hair. “Mmf, move up a little, that’s…ah!”

Dana ran her tongue up Tasia’s labia, until the tip of it rested on Tasia’s clit. She teased the fleshy nub out, inhaling the sweet aroma of the werewolf’s arousal. Running her hands up Tasia’s legs, she squeezed the thick muscles in her thighs. Water ran down Dana’s back and shoulders, forming a pool beneath them.

“Come here.” Tasia gently tugged on Dana’s hair until they stood facing each other. Gazing into each other’s eyes, Dana saw something there she hadn’t expected. It wasn’t just lust in Tasia’s sapphire eyes, but respect, admiration.

Maybe even something more.

Dana kissed her, this time rougher than the first. Tasia wrapped her arms around Dana, then ran her hands down Dana’s back to grab her by the ass.

Dana broke the kiss. “Be rough with me,” she whispered.

Tasia grinned, then looked around the shower. “Maybe not as rough as that time in the car,” she replied. “This seems like a nice place and Eulalie might get mad at us.”

They kissed again. Dana moaned as Tasia ran a hand down her belly, eventually teasing the sensitive skin just above her clitoris. The small movements were enough to entice her clitoris into view, which Tasia seemed to be deliberately avoiding.

“You’re a tease,” Dana complained, then promptly bit Tasia’s lip.

“Yeah I am.” Tasia slid two fingers into Dana, causing her to gasp. “I wanted to make sure you were nice and wet.”

“I can’t wait,” Dana muttered, and then was surprised when Tasia grabbed her by the hair and pulled, causing her head to tilt back. Using Dana’s hair as a leash, Tasia spun her against the thick glass wall of the shower, her breasts flattening against the glass.

“Spread them,” Tasia said, withdrawing her hand and slapping Dana’s ass. Dana moaned and arched her back, making sure her feet were apart. “That’s a good girl.”

Her vision blocked, Dana gasped when she felt Tasia kneel down behind her and bury her face in Dana’s crotch The werewolf’s eager tongue dug deep into Dana’s damp folds, then migrated up to explore the edge of her anus. Dana clenched her hands into fists, doing her best not to push against the glass and shatter it.

“Oh, fuck,” she moaned and closed her eyes. Behind her, Tasia continued to eat both her pussy and her ass as the water flowed across their backs. She swayed from side to side, then pressed back in an attempt to get more of Tasia’s tongue inside her. Occasionally, Tasia would pause to swat Dana’s butt hard enough that it would have left a mark on anyone else, which sent a jolt of pleasure up Dana’s spine. “More. Give me more.”

Tasia stopped, then rose. She grabbed Dana’s hair again, pulling her head so far back that Dana now stared at the ceiling. She guided Dana over to the wall, then pressed her against the cool stone facade and forced her into the previous pose.

“Didn’t we just do this?” asked Dana with a grin.

“I don’t want to break that glass is all.” Tasia’s hand slid down between Dana’s legs. Shoving two fingers inside of Dana’s pussy caused the vaginal walls to clench down in response.

“Nngh!” Dana was helpless as Tasia finger fucked her from behind, slamming the zombie’s hips into the polished stone wall of the shower. Unable to grab onto anything, Dana used one hand for balance against the wall and the other to finger her clit. Her whole body tingled as the temperature of the shower water cooled.

“That’s right, take it. Take it!” Tasia sounded very pleased with herself, and then slowed down her ministrations. The pause was brief, but then Dana felt the tip of a thumb tease her ass.

Tasia allowed Dana to do all the work. Gasping, Dana forced her hips backward, causing the thick digit to penetrate her rear. Through the thin membrane between Dana’s pussy and her ass, she could feel Tasia squeezing her fingers together.

Tasia continued to fingerbang Dana from behind, but it felt far different. With so many different sensations at once, it was all Dana could do to continue rubbing her clit as her whole body became one massive nerve. Her labia stretched thin as Tasia slowly worked a third finger in, followed by a fourth.

Dana made a sound like she was gargling water, then came so hard that she sprayed the shower wall with fluids of her own. She went stiff in Tasia’s arms, but the werewolf kept fucking her from behind with her hand. Dana’s whole body felt like it was on fire, and then her knees buckled from beneath her as she went limp.

Tasia caught Dana in her arms, then turned the water off. “You good?” she asked, looking quite pleased with herself.

Dana smiled dreamily. “I feel like I could fall asleep in your arms,” she said.

“Let me wash your hair.” Tasia reached for the shampoo. “Since you’re so tired.”

“But what about you?” asked Dana.

“What, are we keeping score?” Tasia squirted shampoo into her hands. “Besides, the water is getting cold.”

“Right.” Dana let Tasia massage the shampoo into her scalp, and then the two of them finished their shower as the water chilled. When they got out, all the steam in the room had already dissipated, so they wrapped themselves up in towels and headed for the bedroom.

Tasia flopped onto the bed and kicked up her feet, then groaned in delight. “The blankets feel so smooth,” she said, moving her arms briefly like she was making a snow angel.

Dana lay down next to Tasia, the towel on her head slipping away. She scooted sideways so that her head was in the crook of Tasia’s arm.

“So what happens next for you?” she asked, suddenly feeling awake again. “Now that this business with Deacon is over, what do you want?”

Tasia let out a heavy sigh. “That’s a good question,” she said. “I haven’t had a chance to think about it much. There’s a kill order out on me right now, so my options are limited.”

Dana bit her lip and looked out the window. The first breaking rays of dawn had crept over the horizon, illuminating the distant whitecaps in the bay. “I might know somewhere you could go,” she said. “There’s a guy I’d like you to meet.”

Tasia snorted, then turned her attention toward Dana. “I thought you weren’t into guys.”

Dana reached down and pinched Tasia’s thigh playfully. “He’s like the person in charge. It’s hard to explain. We’re more of a family, and he’s the head of it.”

“The patriarch, huh?” Tasia’s tone shifted. “You think I could rely on him?”

“If we had told him Lily was in danger, he would have come to help. Everyone would have come, actually.” Dana shook her head and stared at the ceiling. “Things would have gone differently for sure, but I can’t say for better or for worse. He has a habit of attracting attention from the wrong people.”

Tasia turned to look at Dana. “Was he involved in Velvet’s death?”

Dana looked back and nodded. “Yeah. It’s a bit of a long story, but he was there for it. They didn’t know each other long, but became quite close.”

“With a—” Tasia’s eyes flicked toward the door, then held up a hand and wriggled her fingers like a spider walking.

“Yep.” Dana grinned. “Didn’t even stop him.”

Tasia laughed. “Interesting. I’m sure he’d probably get a kick out of me, then.”

“Maybe.” Dana ran her hand up Tasia’s thigh until it hovered along the edges of her crotch. “But what if I wanted you all for myself?”

The admission seemed to catch Tasia off guard, but no more than it did Dana. Right now, in this moment, she wasn’t buried in the grief of Alex’s death. Nor were her feelings muted. She felt more like herself than she had in years, as if she had finally come unstuck from her own misery.

“That sounds nice, but…” Tasia sighed. “I have someone waiting for me.”

“Oh.” Just like that, painful emotions returned. “I see.”

“No, not a lover or anything. My father.” Tasia looked into Dana’s eyes. “The patriarch I can count on. He’s a higher up in the Order.”

Suddenly, Dana felt a lot better, but she sensed what was coming next. “Do you think he can help you?”

“Maybe. If anyone can, it will be him.” She bit her lip. “And if he can’t…well, then maybe I underestimated him.”

“Do you want our help?” asked Dana.

Tasia shook her head. “No. Much too dangerous. The best I can hope for is that he’ll hear me out. Your presence alone may set off alarm bells. He might even recognize you from the Black Palace incident.”

“We don’t talk about the Black Palace incident.” When Dana saw the confused look on Tasia’s face, she chuckled. “Sorry, family joke, you wouldn’t get it.”

“Yeah, family.” Tasia rolled over to face Dana. “Maybe after I work things out with my father, perhaps clear my name, we could talk about your family a bit.”

“I think I would like that.” For now, that would have to be enough.

“If I’m being honest,” Tasia said in a quiet voice. “I would far prefer to just leave with you and never look back. But I have to try, you know?”

“I understand,” Dana whispered.

A putrid smell flooded the room, causing Tasia to gag. Dana rolled over in her bed to see Eulalie standing there, still covered in gore from earlier. She was holding a bunch of plastic bags.

“Who’s hungry?” she asked, holding them up. “I found someone who would deliver us breakfast!”

“You!” Dana pointed at the Arachne. “Shower. Now.”

Eulalie looked down at herself and winced. “Yeah, okay, this is pretty bad.” She set the food down on the bed and scuttled toward the shower. “I actually picked this place because the shower is big enough for me, but it might be tough. Could I get someone to help scrub me down?”

Tasia arched an eyebrow as she opened up one of the bags. “You gonna scrub her down like you did me?” she asked, pulling a french toast stick from inside a styrofoam container.

“Hardly.” Dana tossed off her towel and headed for the bathroom. “And don’t eat all of that. You have to share.”

“Duly noted,” said Tasia, her mouth already full. “Thith neeth more thyrup.”

“Hey!” Eulalie’s voice was shrill. “You two used up all the hot water!”

“Sorry.” Dana looked back at Tasia and made a face. Tasia grinned in response.

When Dana got in the shower with a rag, Eulalie had already thrown her clothes in the trash and was standing beneath the water. She looked up at her friend and poured some liquid soap on the rag.

“You realize there won’t be any food left when we’re done, right?”

Eulalie winked. “I ordered more for myself and stuck it in the fridge. Oh, gross, the water is brown.”

“Yeah. Gross.” Dana swatted Eulalie’s behind, causing her to raise her abdomen, then knelt down to clean off the Arachne’s legs. “Say, where’s Lily at?”

“She’s the one who brought breakfast. Said she was going for a walk.” Eulalie lifted a leg. “Hey, Dana?”

“Hmm?” Dana looked up from a particularly grizzly mess on Eulalie’s leg joint.

“Thanks.” The Arachne stared down at Dana, gratitude in her eyes. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it.” She turned her attention back to Eulalie’s leg and used her fingernail to scrape away what she hoped was swamp mud. “This, specifically.”

“Noted.”

---

Lily walked along the bluffs of Washington, her eyes trained on the rocky shore below. With the rising sun, fishing trawlers puttered out of the bay past the white caps where they would open up on the throttle to get to their hunting grounds.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Spirit Mike was walking perilously on the edge, his arms wobbling with every treacherous step.

She narrowed her eyes and turned away from the view. “Please. My thoughts are worth way more than a penny.”

“Most I can do is a nickel and a dirty joke.” Mike stuck his hand in a pocket and pulled out a coin. He made as if to hand it over to Lily, then dropped it off the bluff. “Well, shit. Anyway, a man goes to the sperm bank to make a donation and there’s a woman in the elevator—”

“Heard it already. Her mouth is full of cum, right?”

Mike frowned. “Have you heard about the penguin who needed his car fixed?”

“This whole thing was a mistake.” Lily gestured back at the house where she could almost feel the warm glow of Dana’s lovemaking. The zombie didn’t know it, but Lily had briefly walked in on her and Tasia in the shower. While inclined to join, she had a suspicion that she would have only ruined the moment, so had gotten the puppy some post-coital snacks. It was the least she could do.

“If you’re talking about the house, it has a 4.7 out of 5 on the website.”

“Do other people feel this way when they’re talking to me?”

Mike chuckled and stuck out his tongue.

“I mean the whole thing with Legion. That stupid fucker Timotei. And that asshole in the hat. I get the feeling that we somehow pissed off several people at the same time, and it’s only going to come back and bite us in the butt.”

Mike stopped walking and nodded. “Yeah, I feel it too. On the plus side, our butts are so biteable.”

Lily swatted him with her tail, and he fell off the cliff. She smirked when he floated back up holding a rainbow umbrella.

“You’re determined, I’ll give you that.” She sighed and looked down the path. There was a concrete bench next to a trash can which was hardly ideal, but it would do.

“Finally going to check in with the preacher man?” asked Mike.

“Yep. I have a feeling he’ll give me indigestion.” She walked to the bench and sat down, then leaned forward so the sun could shine on her neck. “And put that umbrella away, you look ridiculous.”

Mike snorted and continued walking along the edge. However, the umbrella did promptly disappear. “What do you think he’ll taste like?”

“Misery and despair. False hope.” Lily licked her lip, then checked her surroundings before altering her clothes. To anyone passing by, she was a jogger in an oversized hoodie taking a break. “Some of the more nuanced flavors.”

Though her eyes remained fixed on the bay, she withdrew into herself. Prior to developing her own Dreamscape, consuming a soul had been done from the outside, much like experiencing a memory. But now she could face her meals properly if she chose, and Deacon Osgrove was waiting for her there.

They were on the beach, but Deacon was out in the water. His eyes were wild and terrified as the waves washed over him. Chains held him tight to massive stones beneath the water, preventing his escape.

“Clever.” Mike stood on the beach with Lily. “It’s like you’re waterboarding him for the truth.”

“Yeah, that’s the fun thing about souls. They don’t break down like the human mind, you can do stuff like this and they’re aware of every miserable moment.” Lily walked out onto the water, the waves going still to create a path from her to Deacon. “I’ve essentially been water-boarding him this entire time.”

“How long has that been from his perspective?” asked Mike.

“Hmm. A month, maybe?” She wasn’t entirely sure. After shoving him here, there had been more pressing matters. “Regardless, it should have been long enough to soften him up for me.”

With a snap of her hand, the water parted. Deacon fell flat on the sand, coughing up water and groaning. When Lily approached, he looked up at her and covered his head.

“Please, no more,” he begged. “Just let me die!”

Lily grabbed the man by his neck with her tail and lifted him off the ground. Her eyes blazed with fire as she pressed her forehead against Osgrove’s and growled.

“If you’re hoping for mercy, I’d like to remind you that your flock is likely getting the flesh peeled from their heels in Hell,” she said. “They can be quite creative down there.”

Deacon swatted at her hands in an attempt to escape, but her will here was absolute. Lily pressed her hands against Osgrove’s temples and squeezed.

“So let’s go ahead and crack open this coconut and see what he’s hiding from us.”

Deacon’s cries for mercy went unanswered.