DC: I am Bruce Wayne

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A special Thanks to my Celestial Emperor tier patrons Nathaniel Burdett, Commander Jimmy & Zedd 780 for supporting me on Patreon ~~~///(^v^)\\\~~~ Thanks for the immense support.

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"I was to make mistakes, not to fake perfection"

- Karma Akabane, (Assassination Classroom)

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<(Bruce Wayne POV)> 

"Shit, why are bloodstains so hard to get off from my armor? I thought it would be much easier to clean my armor than my normal clothes. Gosh, Alfred has my absolute respect for making his job look so easy. Even with the smart tuxedo I gave him, cleaning my clothes and armor should still be a hard job, especially since he insists on doing it himself instead of taking the help of other maids in the manor or using my cleaning droids to make everything look spotless and shining clean... I swear, he is almost as paranoid about cleaning things and keeping them proper as the OG Batman was about not trusting anyone." I mumbled to myself with an audible sigh before putting down the soapy sponge I was using to get the red stains off my armor. 

Yep, this is the last time I clean my armor myself. Next time, I'll just let Alfred do his job... or use cleaning droids like a proper scientist should. 

It turns out that despite being made entirely of nanobots, my armor CAN get dirty, especially with dried bloodstains. The reason it never happens with my own blood despite the nanobots being stored inside my body is that when inside me, they are stored as individual clusters of nanobots that are roughly the size of dust particles and thus do not get stuck with my blood cells but when they come together and solidify as a weapon or armor, they can get stained by liquids just like any other ordinary solid material. 

'Hmm, maybe I should layer the nanobots with some anti-stain coating next time to increase its stain resistance... or maybe a self-cleaning feature that can instantly get rid of stains, dust, grime, or any other stuff that could defile it. After all, I really don't want even the tiniest amount of dirt getting inside my body when I store some of the nanobots inside my body.' I mentally decided. 

Of course, I only have to worry about this stuff till I perfect nanotechnology and evolve my nanobots into nanites. Once I can make self-replicating nanites at the molecular scale, then none of these concerns will be a bother anymore. With nanites like that, I would be OP as hell. I mean nanites of that level can do almost anything including genetic engineering on the go, controlling almost every type of technology in existence, and even affecting the weather to some extent. Honestly, once those nanites are perfected, I would be as strong as Cheon Yeo Woon from the Manhwa, Nano Mashine..., if Cheon Yeo Woon were on steroids that is. 

'However, all of those dreams were far off since I still needed a few years to perfect the technology to reach those standards of magical reality-altering efficiency.' I thought with a sigh. 

Just when I was daydreaming about my inevitable power-up one day, Alfred walked in through the elevator into the main cave where I was trying to wash and clean my armor, followed by Slade in his complete Deathstroke armor, "Master Wayne, while I admire your initiative of trying to lessen my burden, however, using fabric softener on your bat armor is about as effective as using a grappling hook to catch a cold. Next time, might I suggest a specialized detergent..., or better yet just leaving the cleaning to someone less inclined to fight crime in their spare time?" The butler sarcastically said with a small smile on his face as he took a look at the armor which was still nowhere as clean as when he cleaned it. 

"Alfred, I think you misunderstood our ladies' man here. He is not trying to make your job easy but practicing for what his little harem of girlfriends is going to force him to do for them very soon. After all, since he has started painting himself as the most perfect man on Earth, he might as well just go the extra mile and become the most lovable househusband in the future." Slade mockingly added with a snicker. 

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Laugh all you want. But your laughs and giggles won't change the fact that I have multiple capable and extremely beautiful girls ready to share me as their sole lover while one of you is on the verge of getting divorced and the other is still busy trying to impress one woman." I smirked with genuine pride on my face as I dismissively threw the sponge behind me. "Anyway, how come you two are here at the same time? Is it your men's night out or something? Because if it is, then I ain't going back to that fishing lake again. You two have zero skills in fishing and we all had to come back empty-handed last time. We were lucky that I was smart enough to buy a fish from Fresh Mart, otherwise, the girls would have laughed their asses off at us." I shook my head as I remembered the unfortunate events that happened the last time we went on a men's night out.

"Okay first, that was a low blow. I am not getting divorced. My marriage is currently in a... rough patch but we can recover from that. It's just that my mental health might not always be the best at times, especially during times of high stress. That's why I have been having more and more arguments with my wife. That's actually something I needed to talk to you about." Slade said after a few seconds of hesitation before pointing his fingers at Alfred. "But we will talk about that later. Alfred has something to tell you for now. Mine is a lot less important than that." He said before signaling Alfred to start.

"Young Master, I want to confess that I have been concealing something from you these past few days. In truth, I originally considered this as a personal matter that I endeavored to resolve on my own, but it appears I am not as capable as I once was. In fact, I am rather ashamed to admit that... I even attempted to take advantage of my position here by utilizing the influence of the Wayne family to resolve the problem. Yet despite all that, I have still failed to address the situation." He admitted with a melancholic tone, prompting me to raise an eyebrow in his direction, gesturing him to continue.

"Do you recall how I always mentioned I was alone, without any family? Well, it appears I was mistaken. I do indeed have someone—a blood relative, in fact. You see when I was a young lad, a little older than you, I was neither as careful nor as responsible as you are. I made numerous mistakes at that age... including getting someone pregnant," Alfred said, a small cough escaping him, a slight blush visible on his embarrassed face. "I never knew it until recently, but it seems the woman gave birth to a child—my daughter."

"... Wait, you have had sex before? Wow, I think I once had a nightmare about this. I mean I am sorry, but I always thought that you were a... pure man before you met Miss Thompkins." I could not help but exclaim in pure confusion.

"That was my first thought as well. I also initially believed that he was either gay or a virgin." Slade commented from the side which both me and Alfred did our best to ignore. 

"... I'm not quite sure why either of you would think that, but I've had my fair share of adventures in my time—well truthfully, they could be called misadventures since they are now coming back to haunt me," Alfred replied with a tired exhale.

"Anyway, all jokes aside, I am quite disappointed in you, Alfred. I don't know if you know this, but I always considered you family even before my parents died. I always looked up to you. In fact, you are the person I trust the most in this world. I don't think I had this much trust in even my parents. But it seems that you never had that same level of trust in me, did you? You considered having a daughter as your private business, huh? So, was I always just a job to you, a professional responsibility that you had to complete because you promised my parents?... Did you ever consider me your family, like I did?" I asked, lacing my words with some classic emotional blackmailing to make sure that he never did this again.

Honestly speaking, I really was somewhat hurt at Alfred's attempt to keep such a big secret from me. I was not lying when I said that Alfred was the person, I trusted the most in my new life. I might be a paranoid little bastard, but Alfred was someone I could blindly trust with my life. knowing that he would never let me down. So, when he did let me down today, I was genuinely disappointed.

"I am sorry, young master, but you cannot possibly understand what I was going through. I didn't want to tell you about my daughter because I feared disappointing you. I was afraid you would judge me, that the respect you had for me would... disappear. I was terrified of letting you down. Yes, it is true that taking care of you is my job, and that you are my responsibility, but I don't just perform my duties for the pay. I do my job because I love it. I love looking after you... Young master, I have never accomplished anything worthwhile in my life, but watching you grow into a finer man than even your father was, and knowing I played a part in that, is what keeps me going. It is what inspires me to wake up every day with a smile. You are the best thing that has happened to me, Young Master, and one of the few things in my life that I did right. And no, I don't just consider you my family... you ARE my family, Bruce." Alfred answered, his voice breaking down with heavy emotion.

"Oh god, I think I am going to cry," Slade muttered from the side before partially opening his mask and using a tissue to rub his eyes.

"... Wow, I don't know what to say. Thanks, I guess... I think we both needed to get those emotions out of our system, didn't we?" I awkwardly chuckled, trying to ignore Slade once again. I guess whoever said that men get awkward around heavy emotions could not be more right, because this was becoming increasingly awkward, now that we were both done expressing our innermost thoughts out in the open. "And don't worry, I am here for whatever you need, Alfred. I will give my one hundred percent to bring back your daughter who is effectively more or less my sister. Just tell me who this woman is, and I will sort everything out with her. If she wants money, we will give her as much money as she wants. We can even take her to court if she is abusive or maybe Batman can lowkey threaten her if she is a criminal of some kind. You know what, just give me her name and address and I will take care of the rest. I will bring your daughter to you." I continued with absolute determination.

"Thank you for saying all that, young master. You have no idea how much those words of yours mean to me. But fret not, you shan't need to employ your power in such a direct manner. The mother isn't inherently a bad person; it is her position that complicates the safe return of my daughter. However, I have discovered a way to achieve this without arousing suspicion, causing a scandal, or alerting any of her adversaries to my daughter's existence." Alfred responded with a smile. "As for who her mother is, I believe you may have encountered her once at a public event. She is, in fact, the current Queen of England." He concluded with a straight face. 

"..." - Bruce.

"..." - Alfred.

"I knew this would surprise even the genius Bruce Wayne. You owe me ten bucks, Alfred." - Slade.

After a few seconds of silence which almost felt like an eternity, I looked at Slade with a confused expression on my face before asking, "Did I..."

"Yes, you heard that correctly and no, you are not going crazy. I checked the letter the Queen sent him and verified all the information three times before coming here. He does seem to have a mysterious daughter with the Bloody Queen of England. You see, our friend Alfred here doesn't seem to believe in using protection and he also must be as fertile as a horse because he got her pregnant in one night. The Queen must have, of course, taken a plan B pill later but as we can all see it was one of the special cases where the pill didn't work. And later, the Queen probably couldn't abort the baby because of her rare blood condition that runs in their bloodline which makes a lot of meds and surgeries extremely dangerous for them. Almost every member of the royal family tries their best to avoid surgeries for that very reason after all. 

After the girl was born, the Queen was kind enough not to kill her then and there to get rid of her permanently. Instead, they named her Julia Pennyworth after her father and decided to keep her existence a complete secret till now to maintain their power and squeaky-clean image. They silently put her in a well-reputed orphanage, looked after her a little from behind the scenes, and even helped her get inside the Special Reconnaissance Regiment, a special reconnaissance unit of the British Army affiliated with MI6 to make sure that she could take care of herself once she grew up. Julia was always considered a genius and a VERY capable young girl with a stellar career in front of her, but it seems that she has unfortunately come under the radar of some shady organizations who are also the enemies of the crown because of one of her missions." Slade explained after interrupting my dazed words. 

"Some of these organizations are rather tricky to deal with and the Monarchy is keen to avoid showing any chinks in its armor right now. So, the few people who are aware of Julia now want to discard her as collateral. The Queen, after finding out about this, quite unexpectedly, discovered that she actually possessed some amount of motherly affection for her secret daughter. Thus, she contacted me to help Julia get out of Europe for some time until things settled. However, initially, it was difficult for both the Queen and us to directly use our influence on the special regiment she is involved with without revealing who she really is but because of the attack that happened on you in Rome as well as the assault that happened on your uncle's family in Brussels, we have found a workaround." Alfred revealed with a sheepish face. "A workaround that doesn't involve telling her or the army about her royal bloodline."

"Yes, we had an opportunity to negotiate with the British army in the presence of representatives of various other nations of the European Union and after telling them that we have a lot of information and intelligence on the organization that orchestrated the attack on your aunt and her daughters, I am really proud to tell you that they agreed that as long as we give them what they want which is simply my and Wayne International's assistance in uncovering essential details about the terrorist organization behind the latest attack, they will permanently station Julia to the US as your bodyguard and will just... "forget" about her." Slade completed Afred's words with a happy nod like he was extremely impressed with his negotiating skills. 

"... Did you guys just say that she would be permanently assigned as my bodyguard?" 

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