DC: I am Bruce Wayne

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"You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."

— Rhett Butler, (Gone with the Wind)

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<(Bruce Wayne POV)> 

"So, you have nothing to say for yourself? No excuse to give for forcefully kissing my daughter and groping her when she was trying to save your life?" Queen Hippolyta asked with a stern voice from her throne while staring straight into my eyes although it couldn't be determined from just her voice alone if she was truly angry or not.

There were also dozens of other Amazons in the throne room who were looking at me with an equally suspicious gaze but surprisingly none of them harbored any hatred for me like before. Instead, it could even be said that for some reason, they felt some amount of sympathy for me hidden deep within their eyes. 

Cortana was currently not present in the castle and was out handling some important stuff, one of which was to map the entire island of Themyscira and scan anything unique on the island.

"That is not fair, Mother. I was the one who went ahead and put my lips on his mouth to help him breathe and you even permitted me to do it as well. He never took advantage of me in any way. Also, I am tired of everyone treating me like I am some sort of a doll who can be taken advantage of all the time and thus has to be protected. I am both old and strong enough to make my own decisions including deciding whom to kiss and whom to not. And today, I want to testify in front of everyone by swearing in the name of Hera that Bruce... did not do anything bad to me that was against my wishes." Diana defended me with a determined voice while raising one of her hands holding on to her glowing lasso of truth for everyone to view. 

Watching Diana defend me once again in front of her mother, I could not help but feel a sense of Deja Vu. I didn't understand how I was in the same situation again in less than two days. But instead of pondering useless questions, I decided to help Diana prove me innocent and not a pervert like most of the other women here were most probably imagining me to be. "Your Majesty, I was barely conscious when Diana gave me mouth-to-mouth to save my life. I had no idea what was happening to me. I don't even remember when this happened, much less kissing her. And even if I did kiss her subconsciously, it was an honest mistake, one that I had no control over. I am completely innocent." I pleaded.

'Honestly, the kiss was truly not my mistake. After all, it wasn't my fault that I was a man, right? I mean, I have needs and desires too, and truthfully, missing the opportunity of kissing back Wonder Woman was straight out geh.' I mentally snorted, agreeing with my thoughts while showing a straight face on the outside.

"... Fine, I will ignore your perverted action just for this once. But remember, if you ever touch my daughter against her will, I WILL castrate you even if I have to sell my soul to Hades for it." Hippolyta threatened with a serious expression on her face.

"Now as for your previous "crimes", in the light of recent events of how you provided your aid when we needed it the most in our battle against the evil gods and helped save hundreds of Amazonian lives, I hereby pardon you of any charges that may be placed against you and declare you as an official guest and ally of Themyscira, something that was advised by the oracle of our patron goddess, Hera herself. You are welcome to... visit and stay in the Paradise Islands whenever and as long as you desire." She proclaimed in a booming voice, giving her judgment before looking at the faces of the other Amazons in the room as if challenging them to oppose her decision. 

However, contrary to her expectations, there was no opposition from anyone to her words, no one trying to challenge or demean me in any way. In fact, many of them were even slightly nodding as if they completely agreed with their Queen's decision while those who didn't want to show support for a man openly simply kept their heads down in silence. 

Even Clymene, who was standing a little away from me had an impassive face on her as she calmly stared in my direction, refusing to meet my eyes for some reason. 

'As I thought, the simplest way of getting into the Amazons' good books was simply being an honest and incredible warrior.' Bruce mentally nodded in satisfaction. 'Also, as science has proved time and time again, all females love a strong male who can protect them... except the males of some species who get eaten after they are done impregnating their partners, although I have no idea why I am even thinking about that at this moment.' 

"And what about me wanting to return home? I don't guess you have an invisible jet hidden inside your castle, do you?" I asked at which both Diana and Hippolyta suddenly looked slightly taken aback. 

"You will be given proper directions and a boat made from our best materials that will definitely get you to the mainland without any problems." Hippolyta quickly answered in a hurry before Diana could say anything. "The boat will be ready by tomorrow... You can now leave to prepare for your departure. I still have plenty of work to do. Even though we won, it will still cost us a lot of time and resources if we want to recover from all the damage the trolls and undead monsters caused to us and the city." She stated with worry hidden in her voice while waving all of us away. 

Hearing her mother's words, Diana bowed and was about to leave while ushering me to do the same, but I had something else in mind, an idea that I had been toying with from the moment I had landed in Themyscira. "Actually, I think I can help you in there. You just declared me an ally of Themyscira according to the wishes of the goddess Hera, right? Then isn't it a duty for allies to help each other in times of need? I can help this island a lot if you allow me to." I said with a slight bow of my head to show my genuine desire to help. 

The Queen looked a little startled at my words as she pondered the implications of her accepting my help. She wasn't foolish. Just by taking a look at the number of drones, Cortana had brought to Themyscira to "rescue" me, she knew that I was an influential and powerful man in the "men's world" although she had no idea just how much. 

"You mean to trade with us?" She easily understood the underlying meaning behind my proposition. "We never trade with anyone from the man's world since after the betrayal... But considering that you are now officially a friend of Themyscira, we might consider trading with you as long as it is profitable for us. However, we still don't want our location to be known by other men..." She answered after pondering on the issue for a while.

"You don't have to worry about that Your Majesty, my machines will be handling the delivery and logistics part, so no living being will ever know the location of your home because of me. I am sure that I can be a VERY big trading partner for Themyscira and even help your own industries flourish as well. I can offer food, clothes, cosmetics, electronic gadgets to make your life more convenient, modern weapons, armor against those weapons, knowledge about what the man's world has discovered and invented till now, and a lot more. My company is involved in a lot of businesses that can help you be more prepared for the next war... whenever it may be." I answered with a charming grin like a professional salesman. 

'One of the richest billionaires in the world now trying to sell his products on his own like a common salesman, oh, how the mighty have fallen.' I thought with a mental shake of my head.

"And what would you want in return for access to all these things?" Hippolyta questioned while curiously raising one of her eyebrows. Even the other Amazons listening in to our conversation seemed very interested in products from the outside world.

"Not much. All I want in return are items of equal value like your wine and premium fabrics or resources that are unique to this island like special metals and herbs." I answered with a shrug. "Whatever you can afford to sell me, I would gladly buy as long as it is valuable. Both of our products should be of equal value like in any other normal trade; I won't try to take advantage of you here while you do the same."

"... Fine, I can agree to a deal like that. We can sign a contract later inside the temple of Hermes once you give me an official list of all the things you can offer, and we settle on a price." She agreed after noticing some of the elders nodding at her in a gesture to encourage her to accept the deal. 

"Thank you, your majesty. I won't let you regret your decision." I said with an earnest smile before following Diana out of the throne room. 

***

"Wow, that was unexpected. I never thought you would try to become a trading partner with us. So, you are a trader? I almost thought you were royalty because of the weird metal army that came searching for you here." Diana softly spoke as she stared at the beautiful sunset while sitting beside me on the beach.

She looked like she was deep in thought about something. 

"There is no royalty where I come from, Diana. The people in my homeland choose their own leader by voting every few years and their chosen leader does whatever they can to help their country and its citizens. If they do not do good enough work, then they are simply replaced with someone else once their term ends. It's called democracy." I explained. 

"Wow, it sounds so interesting. Your home must be perfect then since everyone there has the option to choose what they want for themselves, right?" She curiously asked in a tone that seemed to want to hear more. 

"Not really. Nothing is ever perfect. Democracy comes with its own set of problems, but we manage since it is at least better than being stuck with one bad king or queen. Moreover, 'choice' is just an illusion, Diana. There will always be powerful people who have more influence than the common man and in the case of democracy, it is the politicians who try to become the leaders and the businessmen who give them the money to do it... like me for example. Just like you are a princess and hold more power than the other Amazons, I too as a businessman am slightly more influential than the other normal people. However, unlike your royal blood, it is my wealth that separates me from the others."

"I see. I think I understand now. But then, you must be pretty lonely, just like me. Is that why you kissed me?" Diana asked, slightly tilting her head in a questioning way. 

"..."

I feel like if I tell her the true reason for kissing her was just me getting a little horny, she might try to kill me herself or encourage her mother to sentence me to death in an attempt to take revenge. 

"... Yes, that was definitely one of the reasons." I lied with a gulp, glad that she wasn't using the lasso on me like last time. 

"I knew it." She whispered to herself with a small smile, seemingly satisfied with my answer for now. "By the way, does the man's world really have machines that can fly in the sky? Helena used to tell us stories about it whenever she visited us but most of my sisters never believed it. She said that the man's world has its own beauty that is quite different from our island." She enquired. 

"It is indeed very beautiful. In fact, every part of this world is beautiful, Diana. It's just some of the people living in it that sometimes make it seem a bad place. However, it still depends on one's point of view. Someone who wants to see good will find good even in the evilest of places and someone who wants to see bad will see it even in the most heavenly places. The truth is that the world isn't just black and white. It is grey, yellow, red, blue, and a whole lot of other shades and colors combined, you just have to look deep enough." 

"... That makes sense, I think I understand..." She nodded. "I really wish I could go out and explore, see how the outside world truly is for myself. I would like to visit your home too." Diana wished with a longing voice as she stared ahead at the ocean in front of us. 

"Maybe one day. I am sure that your mother will allow you to venture out of this island on your own when you get old enough and when that day comes, I promise I will show you everything myself." I said while keeping my hand on hers to show her I was serious and not merely kidding. 

In response to my words, she didn't say anything for a long time and just stared at the waves in silence as she seemed to contemplate something. After a few minutes of long silence, it looked like she had finally come to a decision. "I will take your word for it then..., my friend." She said with a beautiful smile. "After all, you took away my first kiss, Bruce and I had heard from Helena that it was supposed to be something very important for a woman." She asserted in an accusatory tone before suddenly glancing at me with a weird look in her eyes, "But I still liked it. Maybe we could do it again sometime when you are not on the verge of death. I had a weird sensation in my chest and stomach when we were kissing, like my body was getting weak for some reason. I would like to find out the reason why... to make sure that enemies cannot take advantage of me, of course." 

"... Of course," I replied with a grin, feeling her fingers gently and slowly attempting to intertwine with mine in a proper handhold.

Handholding so soon? How lewd!

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