Daughters of Demeter

A slight shudder through the deck told me the shuttle was back. I figured they'd been gone about six hours at that point. They probably did some EVA work, maybe they recovered some valuables.

I stood outside the starboard airlock and looked through the little window, and after a minute or so I saw the outer door swing open and Piper and Sarah stepped through. They were still in their e-suits but both had already removed their helmets, so I opened the inner hatch to greet them.

"Welcome back," I announced. "How'd it go? Is everything ok?"

I was still worried about Sarah, since that ship was her home for a few years and some of the victims were her friends.

They were already getting out of their e-suits, and Sarah spoke up first. Her voice was level, but it sounded a little forced. I was sure she was upset and trying not to let it show.

"The engines and power-plant were completely shot," she responded. "The whole engineering section blew itself to hell, probably secondary to the mine damage. I figure when the mine went off it sent a massive overload through the ship."

Piper added, "From the look of it the mine struck amidship, topside-port. Upper decks including the bridge were obliterated."

They stowed their suits in an equipment locker next to the ladderway, then the young captain looked at me and asked "How do you feel about doing some cooking? I think we could use some dinner."

She glanced at Sarah and added, "And some drinks."

"Yes m-" I stopped and corrected myself, "Sure thing. I've already familiarized myself with the mess. Any preferences?"

"Not really," she shook her head. "Something hot and wholesome."

The three of us went around the corner into the mess, and while I began preparing dinner Piper got out some glasses and a bottle then she and Sarah sat down at the table.

Between the antique auto-chef providing raw ingredients and the supplies I found in the pantry and the cold storage, I got to work on what I hoped would be a passable rendition of pasta with meat and marinara sauce.

Meanwhile Piper and Sarah had a couple stiff drinks before they started talking again.

"Since the engines were scrap we moved on and had a look around the rest of the ship," Piper said, filling me in on what they accomplished. "We found what was left of the captain's cabin, and managed to recover the ship's safe. It's in the shuttle, we'll crack it open later and see what's inside. We also found the ship's arsenal, which was mostly intact."

Sarah added, "The lower decks were in marginally better shape, especially the hardened areas."

Piper continued, "So we loaded the shuttle with a few crates of military-grade gear. I'll have a look through it later, see if there's anything we'll want to keep on board. The rest will be sold off."

The engineer had a swig of her drink before taking up the story, "I'm pretty sure the ship's computer is intact. It'll be worth a small fortune if we can get it out without damaging anything. That'll take a day's work though. Then there's a few intact armaments that we could grab."

"We saw two pulse laser turrets that looked good," Piper mentioned. "And a missile launcher. I know where we can get a good price for all this stuff. But we're going to leave that for tomorrow."

I stayed quiet and focused on the food, but I was listening.

When they both stopped talking I finally asked, "Do you have time for all this work? You said your regular clients like your consistency, this sounds like it's going to take at least another day. You're going to be late enough as it is."

Piper drained her glass and replied, "All the stuff we're looking to grab can fit into the holds. Once we've loaded up we'll make a level-one jump. We can afford two more days here and still get to my next delivery on time."

After a moment she elaborated, "The Demeter's jump drive is limited to level-zero if she's towing something. If I'd just grabbed the biggest piece of wreckage and towed it, we'd be late. If we can fill up the hold with high-value salvage then we can use Jump-1 to my next delivery and get there on schedule. From there we'll head to a world where I know we can sell the computer and ship's armaments. After that we'll need Jump-1 to get us back on track, but we should be able to make our next port of call on time."

Even though I hadn't actually trained in astro-navigation I knew enough about it to understand the differences.

Jump-0 was the slowest kind of jump, but also the cheapest in terms of fuel. And it was hands-down the safest. It didn't involve leaving normal-space, and your comms and sensors all still worked so you could see where you were and what you were doing.

Jump-1 was an order of magnitude faster, but used that much more fuel and you basically had to shift into another kind of space. Sensors and comms were offline, and transitioning between normal- and jump-space was dangerous.

There were higher levels of jump, but they were increasingly expensive and risky. They also required specialized engines and training, so generally nobody used them unless they had an extremely good reason.

As for our immediate situation, it sounded like Piper knew what she was doing. For that matter she probably did this sort of thing all the time.

By that point the food was ready, so I got some dishes out and served it up for Piper and Sarah. I got myself a glass of water then joined them at the table.

Up till that point Sarah seemed a bit melancholy, but she grinned and teased "Not just a cook but a waitress too."

I rolled my eyes but I got the feeling her teasing me was going to become a theme. At least they both seemed to enjoy the meal.

The three of us were mostly quiet as we ate. Apart from being hungry, my ship-mates both looked tired. And I was pretty sure Sarah was still dealing with some rough emotions.

As we all finished up, Piper said "I'm going to get some sleep, you two should do the same. We'll get back to work in the morning."

With that our captain left the table and headed to her cabin. Sarah didn't move yet, and I stayed at the table with her.

The attractive blonde had that melancholy look on her face again as she picked up the bottle and poured herself another drink.

"How are you holding up?" I asked her. "Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything I can help with?"

She had a sip of the liquor, then grimaced and finally sighed.

"It was rough seeing the Hammersmith all torn up like that," she said softly. "And we encountered some bodies out there."

Before I could respond Sarah continued, "I've been through this before you know? It was thirty-six years ago, my very first active deployment. I was an ensign on the ISS Willesden, she was a supply ship. It was during the last border war. We were hauling fuel and who knows what else, to replenish some of the ships on the front lines. We got jumped by an enemy cruiser. Our skipper got a distress call out, but that was about it. I'm pretty sure they hit us with a mass driver, but whatever it was it hit the fuel or munitions or something and the whole ship went up at once."

I stayed silent as she continued her story, it felt like she needed to talk more than she needed advice or platitudes.

"Out of a crew of twenty-eight, there were just two survivors. Me and another junior engineer. We got lucky, our workstation was next to a lifepod. When the ship lit up we both dove in there. It launched automatically as the Willesden came apart."

Sarah sighed again, "I was on that ship for two years, I knew everyone on board. And in an instant they were gone, all but me and Ensign Rhodes."

"I'm sorry," I said softly. I didn't know what else to say, but I figured going through that ordeal a second time couldn't be easy for her.

She shrugged, "It's something you have to accept. As much as we think this sort of life is routine, space is unforgiving. It's even worse in the Navy. Even without losing a ship, you can get reassigned any time without warning. You have to pack up, leave your home, your friends, and end up someplace completely new. Maybe you never see those old friends again, they get shipped one way you get shipped another. It's a mental adjustment, and it takes a little while. The Hammersmith... She's nothing now, scrap metal. She's not my home anymore. The Demeter's home, you and Piper are my crew-mates."

"It's just like being reassigned," Sarah added. "That's the reality of this sort of life. Problem is, it takes a while for the brain to catch up with the reality."

I nodded slowly, and watched as Sarah took another sip of her drink. I couldn't disagree with anything she said. When I was taken out of med-school and assigned to the Hippocrates that was an unexpected surprise. Then going from that ship to the Hammersmith was another unpleasant surprise. There was never much warning, certainly no consultation or question of what I wanted. The Navy just assigned me where they wanted me, based on whatever inscrutable details factored into those decisions.

I didn't even know where the decisions were made, or who made them. Was it some bored bureaucrat in an office somewhere? Or was a computer calling the shots, assigning people wherever the algorithm determined was most-beneficial to the military?

"Are you going to be ok?" I asked as I focused on her again. "I get what you're saying about this kind of life and trying to look at it like another reassignment, but it's still a lot more than that."

Sarah nodded slowly, "It'll take a few days. To get over the loss, the guilt, and to get used to our new ship and captain. Piper knows that too. I could see it in her eyes, she's lost people. Maybe she's lost ships and crews. That's why she put me to work so quickly, she knew to keep me busy."

I thought about that for a few moments. I really wasn't trained in psychological stuff, there was only a rudimentary section on it in my second year at med-school. It made sense though, giving Sarah something to do to keep her busy and keep her mind off the other stuff. For a moment I wondered why Piper didn't do the same for me.

The answer came pretty quickly though. Our new captain was probably a pretty good judge of character, and probably very perceptive. She could tell I wasn't as affected as the chief engineer. She might have guessed I was dealing with some euphoria and excitement about my new body too, while Sarah was probably feeling exactly the opposite about her new circumstances.

Which led me to the other thing I worried about.

"It's more than a new ship and crew," I said softly, "It's also a new you. How are you coping with that?"

Sarah knocked back the last of her drink and set the glass down. She grimaced a bit as the liquid probably burned on its way down.

A moment later she stated bluntly, "It beats being dead."

She reached back and untied her hair, releasing it from the ponytail then continued, "Jenny and I must have talked for half an hour before I agreed to it in the first place. She explained my situation, gave me the prognosis. She explained what she could do for me, and told me about the limitations in terms of what sort of body I'd end up with."

Sarah was already playing with a lock of her long blonde hair again as she shrugged, "Like I said, there wasn't really much choice. I wasn't ready to die, so I made my peace with what was going to happen. She did some sort of scan of my thoughts and stuff, then showed me what she figured would be the best body for me. I asked for a few adjustments, and that was it. I agreed and she went to work."

By the time she finished talking I had a frown on my face. "A half hour? From what I remember, it seemed like seconds after we put you in there before the process started."

"It's all virtual," Sarah reminded me. "Direct neural connection? Jenny can speed up or slow down perceived time. We talked for what felt like a half hour to me, but I'm not surprised it happened in seconds real-time. She did it again when she woke me at the end? There was a counter that said we had just over two minutes left, but it moved slowly while we talked for what felt like another hour."

"Wow," I felt my eyebrows going up. "So you're doing ok with this? Is that what you're saying?"

Sarah looked thoughtful for a few seconds as she idly twisted some hair around her fingers, then shrugged once more. "I'm doing as ok as I can, given the circumstances. Between the accident, the shipwreck, and this..."

She gestured at herself and sighed. "Yeah. It's going to be a while before I'm actually ok. But I'm not going to freak out or have a breakdown. Not yet anyways. If I feel like it's coming, I'll let you and Piper know, ok?"

"Ok Sarah," I replied.

She frowned at me, "What about you? I get that you're happy being a girl, but how are you handling the wreck? How are you handling those ears and the tail?"

I grimaced, "Those are two very different things. I might still be in shock about the ship. I never thought of it as my home though, and I wasn't close to anyone on board. I know that makes me sound cold or callous but the short version is I found it almost impossible to open up to people while I wasn't myself. Lieutenant Voss was an act I put on to fit in, a mask I wore while I waited for the chance to be myself. Now I am myself and I'm ecstatic. Even the ears and tail?"

I grimaced for a moment, "I know they'll be a hassle. I thought about climbing back into that tube and asking Jenny to make me a normal human, but the idea turns my stomach. I never even knew I wanted this, but now that I've got it I can't give it up. This body feels more 'me' in less than a day than I ever felt my whole life looking like a guy."

Sarah's eyebrows crept up at the end, but she accepted what I said. "Ok Amanda. I'm glad you're happy. And thanks for trying to help me. I appreciate it."

I almost brushed aside her gratitude with my usual "it's my job" response, but I caught myself. It might still be my job as the Demeter's medic, but it was more than that. I was worried about Sarah as a person, not just a crew-mate.

"Maybe we should follow the captain's lead and get some rest?" I suggested. "It'll probably be another long day tomorrow."

"Right," she agreed. The two of us walked to our cabin together, and Sarah added "I need a quick shower, I'll try to keep it quiet."

When we got to the cabin she saw my med-kit on the lower bunk, she probably realized I already sort of claimed the lower one for myself. She didn't comment though, she just started stripping off her coveralls.

I averted my eyes and climbed into my bunk, then pulled the privacy curtain closed. I mentioned, "There's clean towels in the wardrobe."

"Thanks Amanda," she replied.

She stepped into the washroom and pulled the door closed behind her, while I curled up on my side to try and sleep.