LIGHTNOVELONLINE 62. Goodbye
=::= Sarah's PoV =::=
The Demeter's ramp was still down and the main cargo airlock wide open after Rebecca left on the grav-sled. Rather than seal up the ship I looked around for a place to sit and make myself comfortable.
We still had those containers of disaster relief rations along the port side, but they were stacked up too high. On the starboard side a meter or two back from the airlock controls there were some smaller, dustier old crates that had been there since before Amanda and I first came aboard.
I ended up brushing dust off one of them, then I hoisted myself up and sat down with my legs hanging over the side.
A quiet giggle slipped out and I grinned as I started playfully swinging my feet back and forth. It was such a small thing, being able to just jump up and get comfy sitting on an old carbon fibre crate. I wouldn't have been able to do it before though. The jumping, or the getting comfy. And I definitely couldn't get away with acting cute and playful in my old body.
It sure didn't hurt that I looked pretty damn good now too. I even managed to look good in the sort of clothes Rebecca said were appropriate for this world.
I was wearing a pair of tight grey-green military-style pants, and I had sturdy black ankle boots on my feet. The pants and boots were both a lot more stylish than anything the Navy would ever issue, the boots especially since they had some heels on them. And between the boots and the pants they did a good job showing off my legs.
On top I was just wearing one of my tight t-shirts that showed off the rest of my curves. And finally I had my side-arm on my belt like the captain said. For an extra safety measure we also had one of the shotguns loaded up with HDLI shot and tucked away out of sight on the shelf behind me.
Not that I thought there'd be any trouble. Or at least, I really hoped there wouldn't be. If there was, I'd catch hell from the boss for sure. Assuming I survived and didn't get hauled off before she returned.
Without really noticing what I was doing I reached up with my right hand and started playing with a lock of my cute blonde hair while my thoughts drifted back to yesterday.
Jenny helped me, she was in on my plan. I didn't tell my girlfriend though. She'd have tried to talk me out of it, then she'd spend the whole time worrying. So right now Amanda was up on the main deck, and our AI crew-mate was keeping her busy. Jenny was also my back-up, and it was really convenient that she could do multiple things at once. For that matter she could be in more than one place at the same time too, at least within the confines of the Demeter.
So yesterday morning while Jenny and I were supposed to be discussing our upgrade strategy for her android body, I told her what I wanted to do and asked for her help. She agreed, grudgingly.
I already guessed she'd had a look at the Kennington's computer during our first encounter back at the Hammersmith, which Jenny confirmed. She hadn't been able to access the ship's vital systems, but she did get into the communications network. That was how she knew those missiles were targeting the Hammersmith rather than us.
She didn't see it on the sensors or read it from their fire control systems, she heard their captain issue the order because she was monitoring their bridge through the Kennington's intercom.
And I knew Jenny had started taking courses on computer systems and security since then, I didn't doubt she'd learned several new tricks already. Not that my plan required anything that fancy, in fact all I needed was access to their communications systems.
So I drafted a little message to Andy, and Jenny inserted it into the Kennington's comms in such a way that it couldn't be traced and wouldn't be noticed. It appeared among Andy's private messages without anyone else ever knowing it existed.
Now I was waiting for my friend. If he did as I asked, he'd show up in civvies, alone and unarmed. It was a huge risk for him, but I had a feeling he'd take it. We were pretty good friends, and I knew he was upset the other day when he was here with the XO.
Eventually I realized I had a length of hair wrapped around my right forefinger, and I smirked as I unwound it then ran my fingers through to straighten it out again.
My emotions were one part anxious, one part excited, and one part happy. I was looking forward to this, and eager to see Andy's reaction. I knew there'd be disbelief at first, but I was confident I could convince him who I was. I wasn't so sure what he'd do with that knowledge afterwards, hence the anxiety. I felt I could trust him though, one engineer to another.
I was pulled from my thoughts by Jenny's voice. She was speaking softly through the nearby intercom panel, "Sarah there is a man approaching, fifty meters off the port bow. I do not detect any weapons, and I have not noticed any other individuals in the area."
"Thanks Jenny," I replied as I unwound the length of hair I'd accumulated on my right fore-finger again.
Sure enough my friend came into view a moment later. I stayed seated on the cargo box as I watched him approach.
Lieutenant Andy Ferguson was in civvies like I asked, and I wondered if he only had one set because it was the exact same outfit he had on when we met for drinks at that bar on Sotnaar-2 last year. Scuffed-up black boots, loose dark trousers, a nondescript green shirt, and a dark-grey jacket that was a size too small for him.
He stopped at the foot of the ramp. His eyes were on me as he looked me up and down, and I had to suppress a grin. I could guess what he was thinking. Here I looked like an attractive eighteen-year-old girl with a pretty face and long blonde hair. What could I possibly know about his friend?
"You're Sarah?" he asked. "You sent the message?"
I dropped down off the container then swept a hand over my butt to brush away any dust I'd picked up, then nodded "Yeah that's me. Come on aboard so we can talk."
Andy hesitated a few seconds as he glanced around the mostly-empty hold. I figured he made note that the grav-sled was missing, and he probably saw the Imperium markings on those four big containers of disaster relief supplies. He also would have noticed the gun on my hip, though I had no plans on ever using the thing.
After another couple seconds he finally nodded and came up the ramp. Once he was clear I reached over and hit the controls, to seal up the ship.
My friend looked momentarily alarmed, like he thought I was going to kidnap him or something. And at the same time I found myself staring as I noticed how much taller he was than me, and how much bigger.
I thought I got all that out of my system ages ago, but I was getting the butterflies from the height thing all over again. Maybe because this was my first time meeting someone I knew before, someone who used to be smaller than me. The old me had two inches on him in terms of height, and probably fifty pounds of weight.
Andy was in much better shape than I ever was back then, he looked after his body while I just did the bare minimum to keep myself out of trouble at my annual physicals. Now he was a few inches taller, and it was a wild experience to see him from this angle.
"Relax," I said once I pushed past my own funny feelings. "I'm just sealing up the ship to ensure we aren't interrupted. We're not going anywhere, our captain's off ship taking care of some business."
"Are we alone then?" Andy asked. "What about that er, girl with the tail and the funny ears?"
I smiled, "That's my girlfriend. Amanda's up on the main deck, she doesn't know I contacted you, doesn't know you're here."
As the airlock sealed up he asked "So now we've got privacy. What do you know about Lieutenant Holloway? Your message said you had information."
This was it. My heart was racing slightly, and I hoped I didn't look as nervous as I suddenly felt.
"My name is Sarah Holloway," I stated. "Captain Piper rescued me after the Hammersmith was lost. She saved my life, and I signed on with her. I'm the Demeter's engineer now."
My friend frowned as he stared at me in confusion. He finally shook his head, "What are you trying to say?"
I took a deep breath then went for it. "Andy it's me. I was pretty badly injured, Rebecca wasn't lying about the plasma burns. And the part about me dying was only a slight exaggeration. I can't tell you what happened next, but it involved some tech that we've never even dreamed of back in the Imperium. My original body was beyond repair, so they saved my life by giving me a new one."
My friend's confused frown shifted to a look of anger. He gestured at the airlock, "Open this up. I don't know what kind of scam you're trying to pull but I'm not going to listen to you mock my friend's death."
"Please Andy, just hear me out?" I asked. "Five minutes, that's all I ask."
He glared at me but after a few seconds he relented. "You've got two."
I started talking quickly, to cover as much as I could. I told him everything I knew about him and his life, everything he'd told me over the years. The name of his first wife, and the current one. The names and ages of both his kids. The ship he served on when we first met. And I told him where we were when he told me those things, what planet or what bar if I could remember that. Finally I told him the same details from my own life.
As I talked his expression gradually shifted from angry disbelief to cautious disbelief, and finally to shock and surprise. Two minutes came and went but he didn't ask me to open the doors, he just stood there staring at me as he listened.
I ended off with, "And finally, the last time you and I had a face-to-face was just about a year ago. We met up on Sotnaar-2 and spent the evening in a bar, griping about Navy accountants cutting corners on maintenance. We also spent some time singing the praises of Lambeth-class frigates, and why they ought to be kept in the service instead of being replaced. And Andy? You were wearing the same damn clothes that night as you've got on now. Tell me that's not the only set of civvies you own?"
My friend stared at me with wide eyes. His face was a little paler than usual, and his expression was a mix of shock, happiness, and confusion.
He gulped, "It's true? You're really..."
"My name's Sarah now," I stated. "Yes I'm really him, or at least I was him. Not anymore Andy. This is the new me, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't use my old name."
"Oh and my pronouns are she/her now too if you don't mind," I added.
He gave me a funny look as he stared at me, then his eyes drifted down over my body once more before snapping back up to my face. I had to fight to keep myself from giggling, because it was painfully obvious he'd started to check me out before remembering I was actually his old friend.
After a few quiet awkward seconds he finally asked, "How did this happen to you? And... You're really ok with all this?"
"I'm not going into details on the how," I told him. "Like I said it was advanced tech, stuff we've never even dreamed of. As for the rest, yeah I'm ok. It was an adjustment, but I adjusted. Now I'm honestly really happy? I'm young, slim, fit, and healthy. To be honest it wasn't even a tough decision. My options were either finish dying of plasma burns, or take this. I went with this."
My friend frowned as his eyes drifted down once more.
He finally sighed, "Wow. I'm still not sure I believe you, but I guess I'll try and accept it. For now. Which leads me to my next question. Why are you telling me this? Why now, in secret? You could have come forward to the XO two days ago."
"I can't come back Andy." I shook my head, "I've only barely convinced you and we're friends, we've known each other for years. There's nothing left to tie me to the chief engineer of the Hammersmith. No implant, my genetics are different, I'm physically a different person. It's better to let the man I used to be die. Katia and Sabia will get the insurance and inheritance, and I have a new life looking after this old girl."
I patted the side of the Demeter's hold, then added "Honestly I'm really happy with my new life. Captain Piper's a good woman. Me and Amanda are really close. I've got another friend named Jenny, and the four of us are like family. And I'm telling you all this because we're friends. I wanted you to know what happened, so you wouldn't keep searching for answers."
Andy rubbed his forehead then ran his hand over his short buzz-cut hair. He frowned, then sighed. Finally he asked, "What about the Hammersmith's medic? Junior Lieutenant Voss? What happened to him?"
That made me hesitate. I wouldn't betray Amanda's trust, but I had to tell my friend something. I finally sighed, "All I can say about Lieutenant Voss is sh... He's not going back either. He's happy out here on the frontier. And he was never in the Navy for the career anyways, it was just an educational enlistment."
I felt bad misgendering Amanda like that, but I figured it was necessary. And I hoped Andy didn't catch my brief slip-up. Unfortunately that hope didn't last long.
My friend stared at me for a second with slight frown on his face, before his eyes widened slightly. "The other girl, with the funny ears. That's Voss? You said she was your girlfriend?"
"What the hell did that Piper woman do to you two?" he added, as his expression went from surprise to anxious worry.
"She saved our lives Andy," I stated bluntly. "And I'm not confirming or denying anything else about Lieutenant Voss."
He looked uncertain, but there was something else I needed to talk to him about so I changed the subject.
"Listen Andy, I need to warn you about something ok? What happened to the Hammersmith was a bit of a fluke, but I don't want to risk the same thing happening to you and the Kennington."
That got his attention, he nodded "I'd love to know what took out a frigate so fast there wasn't even a distress call."
I grimaced, "Ultimately it was a mine..."
He listened closely as I explained what Rebecca told me and Amanda, about those anti-shipping mines out by the Gorath asteroid field. He was suitably impressed and alarmed, and he'd seen the damage so I didn't have to waste time convincing him how dangerous the mines were.
I wrapped up with, "As for how it got us, that was some bad luck. Keep an eye on the number-four plasma feed to the Kennington's jump drive. If it gets warm, shut down. Don't try and inspect or service it while it's in operation. That's what got me, the conduit ruptured while I was checking on it. We lost jump, and the mine caught us while we were dealing with the engine situation."
"That's why I wasn't in engineering when it got us," I added. "I was out cold on a stretcher on my way to the infirmary when it hit. Me and Voss were damn lucky the corridor we were in didn't depressurize along with everything else."
He shook his head, "This is all too much, you know? Sorry er, Sarah. How do I warn Captain McClure about those mines without telling her where I got the news? And do you really expect me to just walk away and forget about you? You want me to pretend you're dead?"
"Yes I do," I nodded. "I'm sorry Andy, but the best thing you can do for me is accept that Lieutenant Holloway is gone. It's the best option for my family too. So I'm asking you to just walk away. Believe me when I say I'm happy and want to stay here."
My friend sighed, he looked reluctant to just let it go. After a few moments he asked, "I suppose your girlfriend feels the same? Wants to say here, doesn't want to come back?"
I grimaced, "Lieutenant Voss definitely feels the same way. I'm not confirming or denying anything else."
"Right," he rolled his eyes. Then he sighed once more and slowly shook his head, before he seemed to come to a decision.
"Thanks for the heads-up on the mines er, Sarah. I'll figure out how to pass that information along to the captain, without mentioning your name. Either of your names."
He hesitated a moment then added, "And thanks for letting me know what happened to you. I still don't entirely believe it, and I definitely don't understand it. If you say you're happy though, I don't want to mess that up for you. So ok. I'll walk away."
"Thanks Andy," I smiled. Then I moved for the airlock controls, to open up the ship so he could head out.
As the doors started opening my friend asked, "You're not even going to tell your daughter? Or granddaughter?"
I shook my head, "Nah. It'd just confuse them, and I doubt they'd believe me anyways. Sabia's never even met me, and Katia knows we do dangerous work. They'll be sad for a bit, then they'll get over it."
With the doors open and the ramp down my friend hesitated as he looked me up and down once more. "Take care of yourself er, Sarah."
"You too Andy," I replied.
He started down the ramp, then stopped at the bottom and looked back. "It feels strange as hell to say it but you look really good. And I'm glad you're happy. Goodbye old friend."
"Thank you," I replied. I had a sad smile on my face as I added, "And goodbye Andy."
My friend just nodded, then turned away again and set out back the way he'd come.
I watched for another minute or two before I sealed up the ship. The whole thing went pretty well, up until the very end. Saying goodbye always made me sad. Fortunately I had a quick cure for sadness.
Time to go cuddle with my adorable foxgirl girlfriend.
