Cultivation Retirement Plan (BL)

bgm: poisontooth forest (short but loop-friendly)

As Mo Yixuan listened, Old Song explained in detail. He and his two close friends were having a drink after work in the mines when they heard a child crying. Surprised by the noise, Old Song had insisted on checking it out. He followed the cries to a disused shaft and saw a baby of all things left to cry on the ground. Before he could pick the child up, his friend Fang hauled him back—it turns out he'd been two steps away from falling into a badly patched hole in the cave.

Both the baby and its cries vanished after that. Spooked, the trio had fled the scene immediately. They came back at daytime to inspect the place, but didn’t find anything worthy of notice. Even the hole only led to a shallow cave-in with nothing memorable, so they’d only reported the incident to their bosses. Later, Lady Bai had asked to meet them in person and had her maid take down his story in writing.

“You didn’t tell her it was a baby you saw?” Mo Yixuan asked after the narrative. He remembered the notes—it only detailed Song Gehao’s meeting with a crying “female ghost,” not a baby one.

“Would you?” Old Song challenged back. “A grown man scared by a babe of all things! I heard others mutterin’ bout ghosts and said what they said.” He leaned in conspiratorially. “Course, I’m tellin’ you the truth ‘cause you’re one of them cultivator types. A man might win some favors by foolin’ his bosses, but he’s only askin’ for trouble if he tries to trick the Heavens!” 

“How did you know it was a girl?” Mo Yixuan asked next. Song Gehao hadn’t even gotten close enough to touch the baby, much less pick her up.

“Did I say that?” Old Song scrunched his brows before affirming, “Well, it probably was a lass. You don’t see many abandonin’ their sons in the wilderness nowadays.”

According to Old Song’s reckoning, the ghost must have been the spirit of an abandoned baby who’d died after being left exposed to the elements. Yes, he had heard about the other hauntings around the mine. No, he wasn’t sure if this was the same spirit who caused them. The pretty girl ghost? He’d heard a few rumors about that too from his co-workers, but nothing that seemed worth worrying about. People got spooked over the dead during Ghost Month and imagined all sorts of things.

Like most of the townspeople, he had no idea that Old Madam Su’s yearly sickness around July was related to the jade ghost haunting her quarters. He only assumed it was some old ailment of hers. Naturally, Mo Yixuan didn’t go spilling the secret either. In the end, he got directions to the abandoned mine shaft so he could take a look in person. He was about to wrap things up when a gust of wind blew in from the balcony, sending the rows of red lanterns hung out for the day waving back and forth. The next second, a figure in light-blue robes and a veiled hat landed right next to Mo Yixuan’s table in a flurry of silk.

“.........!” gesticulated Su Shimeng soundlessly.

Mo Yixuan extended the sound barrier to him just in time to hear, “—and all I saw was the body on the ground!”

“What did you say?” Mo Yixuan’s expression was severe.

“I said, my last target’s already dead!” Su Shimeng sputtered. “It’s—ah hells, just come with me, will you?” 

Mo Yixuan glanced at Old Song, but the latter shook his head violently and hugged the wine jug to his chest. “We’re done now, right? Great celestials, you do what you gotta do!”

Su Shimeng had already grabbed Mo Yixuan’s arm and was heading for the balcony when the old man shouted out one last time.

“W-wait! Great celestial, I’m out of money for the meal!” Old Song had spent most of his taels on the prescription today and didn’t have any left on his person.

With no time to wait, Mo Yixuan tossed a piece of silver on the table before taking to the skies with Su Shimeng. Old Song’s expression turned gleeful when they left—here was enough to pay for lunch tenfold!

“Waiter!” he held up the silver to a young man passing by, “Get me two tankards of your shop’s best wine!”

“Right away, sir!” the waiter’s face lit up as he hurried off.

Old Song laughed out loud at his lucky break while the crowd around him broke into excited chatter at the commotion they’d just witnessed.

—

Mo Yixuan and Su Shimeng jumped over roofs for half the town before reaching an estate nestled in a well-to-do alley. 

“I checked off the least suspicious cases first before tackling this one,” Su Shimeng quickly summarized as they approached the courtyard. “Ye Zhi, 41. He’s a local merchant, does business with the Su Clan and sells to Lower Realm customers. Owns part of the jade mines—small portion, pretty unimportant—but it just had to be the one that the ghost corroded and turned black. The reports say he was inspecting the damage one morning when he ran into something foul.”

“When did he die?” Mo Yixuan asked as they landed in a quiet, tasteful garden.

“Sometime last night,” Su Shimeng said grimly. “I’d just reached the gates when I saw them decking it out in funeral white. Grabbed a servant and found out that way.”

If Ghost Month wasn’t bad enough, dying on the Ghost Festival was even worse. Tradition had it that the surge of yang energy from the deceased would attract hungry ghosts to devour the soul. The family would be affected by tremendous bad luck as a result and need to hold prayers for 49 days to soothe the afflicted spirits.

“Was Ye Zhi sick?” Mo Yixuan asked.

“That’s the thing,” Su Shimeng scowled. “He was at the peak of health. The only bad thing to happen to him was running into a ghost at the mines, and now this. You try telling me they aren’t related.”

There were multiple reasons why someone would suddenly keel over, but erring on the side of the supernatural seemed more likely in this case. Mo Yixuan observed the rockery and plants around them in puzzlement. “And you’re calling me now because…?”

“To inspect the body!” Su Shimeng said. “They’re going to cremate it later, I need your opinion on the corpse.”

Do I look like a forensics expert? Mo Yixuan’s disbelief was obvious, so Su Shimeng just rolled his eyes.

“Your cultivation level is higher than mine, so you might catch some things I missed. Come on!”

The death was so sudden that the Ye family barely had time to make any preparations. Currently the body was laid out on the floor of the ancestral hall beneath a sheet. While Su Shimeng went to reassure Lady Ye and the others, Mo Yixuan approached the strangely small, lumpy corpse and knelt by its side. He waited until Su Shimeng ushered the immediate family out of the room, then pulled the sheet away in one motion.

The ghastly sight of what used to be a middle-aged man greeted him. He was curled up on his side, eyes nearly popping out of his sockets as his mouth hung wide in horror. All the liquid seemed to have been drained out of his body, leaving his skin a whitish-gray, wrinkled mass that clung to his bones and made his robes drape off him limply. Mo Yixuan finally understood why the body had looked so strange under the sheet: the man had died frozen in this position and his family had been unable to straighten him out again.

His heart grew cold at the sight as Su Shimeng doubled back to join him.

“He looks like a dried salted plum,” the inner disciple remarked.

“What made him...like this?” Mo Yixuan asked.

“Something sucked out his life essence,” Su Shimeng said, unperturbed. “Could be ghosts—they are hungry this time of year. Do you notice anything?”

Mo Yixuan shook his head as he scanned the body, finally fixating on the man’s hands. While the left was clutching at his chest, the right was curled up into a tight fist.

“They discovered him in his bed like that,” Su Shimeng went on. “No signs of struggle either—he must have died too quickly to do anything.”

“He’s holding something,” Mo Yixuan said.

“Where? Lemme see,” Su Shimeng leaned forward and peered at a glint of green between the gnarled fingers. Without hesitation, he reached forward and tried to pry the hands loose, only to snap a finger in half.

“...........” said Mo Yixuan.

“...I won’t tell if you don’t,” Su Shimeng said awkwardly. Luckily, the broken digit made it easier for him to reach in and pull out the object with the veil from his hat. He cradled it in his palm so both of them could have a closer look.

“It’s jade,” Su Shimeng realized after recognizing the small, polished round piece of pale green.

“Just a single piece?” Mo Yixuan asked.

“He’s a jade merchant, so it’s not strange for him to have some lying around,” Su Shimeng explained. “It’s good luck to keep it on your person and this one looks high-quality.”

“It didn’t help him this time,” Mo Yixuan said drily.

“Here, see if you can pick up on anything,” Su Shimeng nudged the jade at Mo Yixuan. The peak lord obliged by brushing it lightly with his qi, but who knew as soon as he made contact with the stone—

“Stopstopstop!” Su Shimeng cried, but it was too late: the surge of energy abruptly caused the jade to turn black and crumble into pieces in his hands. At the same time, a thick earthy scent tinged with blood filled the air.

 “This smell...” Mo Yixuan immediately used his sleeve to block the unpleasant fumes.

“Forget that, our clue just went kaput!” Su Shimeng looked aghast at the ashy remains in his hands. “This...why did it fall apart?”

“A curse!” someone shrieked. Both men turned to see a wild-eyed woman wearing a white headband stumble into the hall, pointing fingers at them both. It was the same Lady Ye that Su Shimeng had sent out a few minutes ago.

“You and you,” she cried, suddenly pointing at Mo Yixuan. “Wretched harbinger of death! Get out of my house! Get out!”

“Wait, Lady Ye,” Su Shimeng scrambled to his feet. “I told you, we’re here to hel—”

“Get out!” Lady Ye screamed at him.

“Lady Ye!” 

“Lady Ye, please calm down!” 

A couple of servants ran forward to grab the hysterical woman before she could do anything rash, but she didn’t stop talking.

“He killed my husband! Murderer! Monster!”

Mo Yixuan stiffened at the words, his eyes turning dark. Su Shimeng was shocked.

“Hey, you can’t just accuse others like that!” he shot back, “Ye Zhi was already dead before we came!”

Lady Ye’s sobbing only grew worse. Fortunately, the head steward had enough sense to get the servants to take her away. 

“What’s that all about?” Su Shimeng demanded once the woman was gone. “Did she go mad from grief?”

“I-it might be that rumor going around,” the head steward stammered while shooting looks at Mo Yixuan.

Su Shimeng glanced over, but Mo Yixuan was lost in his thoughts. He faced the head steward with a frown and asked, “What rumor?”

“It’s been spreading around town all morning,” the steward said apologetically. “T-they, they’re saying that King Yama’s sent his messengers to collect the souls of the living today.”

“Why haven’t I heard of this before?” Su Shimeng frowned. He’d grown up here and made yearly visits back; it didn’t make sense for him to miss out on local gossip.

“Sir Daoist, I’ve been in this town for decades and it’s my first time too,” the steward shook his head. “But people have been saying they spotted the mortal forms of Black and White Impermanence wandering the streets.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Su Shimeng protested. 

The head steward paused to look past him, eyes resting on Mo Yixuan again. “He’s dressed in all white on the day of the Ghost Festival…”

White was traditionally the color of the dead and White Impermanence, one of the guides to the underworld. On a day when everyone was doing their part to look lively and deck the buildings out in red, Mo Yixuan’s mourning robes were a stark sight.

“That makes him celestial, not undead,” Su Shimeng sputtered. “Look, who’s been spreading this stuff?”

“I-I don’t know, I just heard it on the streets. One of the servants passed it onto Lady Ye just then before I could stop her and—”

“All right then forget it, what about the jade? Did your master always carry one around?”

The steward blinked. “Well, yes. We all do, it’s supposed to ward off evil spirits and bad luck—”

Su Shimeng held out the crumbly black mass in his palm with a huff. “It didn’t do a thing.”

The head steward grew faint at the sight. “T-the same as the jade mines. Heavens, have we really been cursed?” He instantly began praying on the spot. “The gods have mercy! How terrible, how terrible…”

Su Shimeng looked conflicted. He finally turned to Mo Yixuan, who was still lost in his thoughts, and clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey—ow!”

The sudden lash of qi made him withdraw his hand in a hurry, hissing at the sudden sting on his palm. “Oi, what’s gotten into you?!”

Although Mo Yixuan was controlling it very well on the surface, his inner emotions were currently in turmoil, causing his qi to lash out in tightly compressed waves around his person. It was much less chaotic than his early bursts of temper, but the destructive force in his energy was still as potent as ever. He couldn’t help it—even though he’d tried again and again to forget his past life, it was an unfinished story that ended during his lowest point.

Monster. Murderer. He’d been called worse things by the victims of the architectural disaster in the courtroom, but it didn’t sting any less now. Even as baseless claims, the familiar insults made him feel exposed, as if his enemy could appear at any second to tear his world apart again.

Su Shimeng’s touch jolted Mo Yixuan to his senses and he reined in his qi with difficulty. Dammnit, just focus on the task.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” Mo Yixuan muttered back. “What now?”

“You...did you hear anything we just said?” Su Shimeng sounded doubtful as he nursed his fingers.

“Ghosts and rumors, right?” Mo Yixuan had a vague recollection of the spoken words.

“Yeah, so we should track them down,” Su Shimeng replied. “Before that, can you use your spiritual sense to inspect the body?”

Having finally realized his purpose here, Mo Yixuan did as he was told. At high levels, cultivators could glimpse the meridians and workings of a body at a glance, especially when the subject was only human. He started from the corpse’s head and worked downwards, pausing when he reached the chest area.

“What is it?” Su Shimeng noticed immediately.

“Something strange. I’ll come back to it,” Mo Yixuan said and continued inspecting the rest of the body. Once he did a one-over, he went back to fixate on the dead man’s chest and...paused again.

“What now?” Su Shimeng pressed. Even the head steward caught the trace of tension in the air and leaned in nervously.

“There’s a hole in his chest,” Mo Yixuan said slowly.

Without hesitation, Su Shimeng reached out to strip the robes from the corpse, causing its arms to crack threateningly as he tugged back the fabric.

“Sir Daoists, please!” the head steward was alarmed. “T-that’s Sir Ye’s body!”

Su Shimeng ignored him until he exposed the man’s skin. Though it was as dry and shriveled as the rest of him, the surface was unmarred by any scars.

“No cuts,” Su Shimeng stated, then focused his own spiritual sense on the man as well. “I can’t see anything.”

Mo Yixuan’s expression was tight. “His heart is missing.” 

His spiritual sense had given him a second sight that mapped out the body’s network of energy channels. Although not all humans could cultivate, they possessed meridians of their own and many of them connected to the heart. Yet an inspection of Ye Zhi’s body had simply revealed the channels leading to...nowhere. There was only a black hole where the heart should be.

“You’re sure?”

“We can open him up to check.”

The two cultivators exchanged looks while the steward inhaled sharply. “Sir Daoists, you can’t!” An intact body was needed for peace in the afterlife. To see his master cut up like this before his eyes was a grave insult to both the Ye Clan and himself!

“Better to cut one dead man than risk a hundred living ones,” Su Shimeng said grimly. “You can either pretend you saw nothing or leave the room.”

The steward was stricken. In the end, he chose the easy way out and left while muttering something about keeping the servants away. Su Shimeng personally took up the task of dissecting Ye Zhi and cut past the papery layers of flesh with his sword. The body crinkled as he did, making Mo Yixuan think morbidly of a puff pastry. There was some difficulty when the incision allowed air to escape and further collapse the corpse, but fortunately they could still pry apart the sliced sections of skin.

“Not a single drop of blood…he was really sucked dry,” Su Shimeng muttered as he dug at the chest. Fortunately, he had switched to wearing gloves in the middle of his impromptu surgery session.

The moment Su Shimeng opened up the chest cavity, Mo Yixuan’s brows creased in discomfort.

—

Ye Zhi (葉之) - his name can essentially be translated to “of leaves.” His life was equally insignificant when he died as a cannon fodder in this story, mwahaha.

Black and White Impermeance (黑白無常) - heibai wuchang, two spirits traditionally in charge of leading the dead to the underworld. 

—

{extra}

Ruyi: The MVP of the chapter goes to Su Shimeng!
Ruyi: Congratulations for doing the gross and thankless job of dissection in our MC’s place!
Su Shimeng: Eh, it’s no big deal. This body didn’t even bleed.
Ruyi: What are your feelings, Mo Yixuan? This should be your first time seeing a dead body in this world, right?
Mo Yixuan: I’m honestly disgusted but can’t be bothered to care when I’m dead inside.
Ruyi: You—
Mo Yixuan: And it’s funny knowing others are losing their hearts without even trying when I tried to rip mine out but failed.
Ruyi: I—
Mo Yixuan: Ha ha ha.
Shi Feng, poofing in: Ah okay, I got him. *picks up Mo Yixuan and whisks out of sight*
Su Shimeng: Uh...what about our case?
Nan Wuyue, running late: That guy kidnapped my master again!
Su Shimeng: So kidnap him back.
Nan Wuyue: Do I look like I can fly?!
Ruyi, abashed: A-are my male lead preferences showing guys— *blush*