Control Comes from Within

When I returned to consciousness, I found myself lying down in my beast space, where I had fallen asleep before my foray into my soul projection, or the soul plane? Dream world? Whatever it was, I had returned to normal…although there was one peculiarity I immediately took notice of.

The healing spells I had cast on myself were still active, numbing the pain of my most recent injuries and working to repair the damage that had been done both internally and externally. I hadn’t learned how to cast a spell that would autonomously sustain itself, so the only explanation for the spells still being active was that no time had passed. I could have written off the whole thing as some sort of fever dream…if not for the fact that I had proof of my encounter with the Deity and his Seed in my soul, which strangely enough, showed no signs of having experienced tortuous pain not long ago.

Firstly, I had been bestowed a technique called mesmerism, though my modern inclination recognized it as a form of hypnosis. Simply put, I could alter the state of mind of any being to make them more susceptible to my suggestions. It was described as a training spell, though it had more ominous applications as one’s proficiency with it increased. I already had some ideas on what to do with it, but my focus was mostly on the second thing I had received.

Information.

More than any spell or technique I could think of, I had the most appreciation for the trove of knowledge I had been given. On one hand, it did irk me a bit that the Seed somehow decided that I was too stupid to go without all this foundational information, but on the other hand... .I couldn’t deny that I really needed it. It was almost like a library’s worth of things the Deity considered general knowledge was shoved into my head, ready for me to access it anytime I desired. It reminded me of the Internet with how accessible and vast it was, putting me in a better mood at having a source of information at hand.

The trove had already proved its usefulness by explaining that mana was the most widely known source of power and energy in the universe, and perhaps even beyond, and that there was no such thing as essence, almost conclusively leading me to believe there was something suspicious about this entire world, having absolutely no mention of mana from anywhere.

The trove also had more immediate practical applications, as it suggested methods to break the vow between me and Reela without being discovered, how to actually revive deceased entities and become a full-fledged necromancer, and even how to begin obtaining other affinities, something I saw as necessary if I wanted to fully utilize everything I had been given.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all good news.

Searching for ways to acquire mana proved to be less than fruitful. While essence was good at what it did, there had to be a reason mana was so prevalent and ubiquitous. Plus, I would rather use a spell that was designed to be powered by mana rather than essence…with mana. The Deity’s projection message had implied that the odd phenomena occurring around me were the results of my lack of control, and while I couldn’t refute that, I also couldn’t help but think that the presence of essence had to be a factor as well. There was a possibility that, in using essence, I had been trying to drive a diesel car with gasoline, leading to..well, everything weird that had been going on. The appearance of my beast space, my ability to tame voranders, as well as their odd power to resurrect upon death while in the space, they all seemed like accidents that could have been avoided had I only been exposed to essence or mana alone.

My thoughts on the mystical were temporarily set aside as I glanced down at my body, taking in its appearance. Jagged scars and scabbed-over puncture wounds littered my body, the most recent injuries I had accumulated undoing half the work I had already finished. The outside was far better than my internal situation, where veins and arteries only continued to function due to the help of essence. My intestines and lungs had the most damage done to them over time, and they would resemble swiss cheese, had I not been diligently applying healing spells every day when I found the time.

My attention was drawn to my body as the last of my healing spells faded away, my skin mimicking rough leather with how coarse and bumpy it felt. The steady rise and fall of my lungs, the almost inaudible thump-thump of my heart pumping blood, the ever-present tension in my muscles…it all felt both new and familiar to me, like looking at an old photo. I knew that I would be fully healed within two weeks, but I had the slightest suspicion that it would be less than that by about…eight hours? There was no source for that little guesstimate, but if I had to make an educated guess…

On a whim, I drew some blood from a vein, and resumed my experiment that I had, understandably, stopped in my soul projection. I tried to separate the water in my blood.

Theoretically, I should be able to do it.

And then I did it, without any further mental pep talk or convincing. Without any thought, really.

One moment, there was a drop of blood hovering before me, and the next, the drop had split into two parts, one the recognizable shade of blood, and the other being a slightly yellowish water. I added it to my collection of blood and bridged my hands underneath my head as I laid down, crossing my feet.

I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point. Wait, was that because of…

I searched the trove of basic knowledge, and quickly found what I was looking for. What I had just done with the blood was not due to me unknowingly performing the mesmerism on myself. The mesmerism required an active attempt to create a change in the mindset of the target, and that remained true whether it was used on oneself or an outsider. And yet, that was not what I had done. The trove had no answer for me.

It was almost, no, it was definitely worse to have no answers to a mystery even after receiving the magical equivalent of an encyclopedia, rather than groping around in the dark blindly. At least without a reference, there was nothing to disappoint yourself with. I let out a long sigh at my frustration, and let it go. Regardless of how it worked, the fact that it had should have been a cause for celebration.

“Get out here, we need to talk,” the voice of the dragonkin Reela spoke into my mind, summoning me back out into the real world.

I clenched my fists before unclenching them, vowing to take out all my anger towards my ‘mentor’ on the next voranders I would be facing, as I gingerly stood up and put some clothes on before exiting out of the space with a thought. I was in the center of the vorander nest, or rather former vorander nest, as the surroundings had completely changed to the point that they were unrecognizable from their prior state. The dead and withered trees, whose leaves were once stiff and blackened, were now as vibrant and healthy as any other tree. The ground, previously cracked and brittle, now had a layer of grass shoots growing atop it, the soil’s vitality returning again. Even the vorander pits, once filled with nothing but toxins and acids, was now a watering hole for the local wildlife, encouraging growth for the surrounding areas. While I had never seen vorander corpses burning afterwards, they were conspicuously absent whenever I looked for them. In any case, the vorander nest was now on its way to regaining its former vivacity, no longer a scar and blight on the environment.

I had seen such scenes before, as Reela took charge of the restoration efforts after I was done clearing them, and while I may have been left speechless and slack-jawed the first few times, I simply looked around and took it in before walking over to my mentor, who was sitting on a thick tree branch, a few feet above the ground, her tail dangling lifelessly over the edge. As soon as I approached, I noticed an immediate change, as I sensed her blood with far more clarity and precision than I had in the past. My perception had somehow improved, and it didn’t take a genius to guess the reason for it.

Once she noticed my presence, the dragonkin turned her head in my direction. “How are your wounds?”

“In a perfect world, I would rest for two weeks straight, but I think we both know that’s not gonna happen.” I had long since lost any respect for my mentor, who appeared to have no clue how to teach someone, and with it went any semblance of formality, feigned or otherwise.

She turned to me and half-shouted in an octave higher than her normal voice, “Look, it’s not my fault, okay? I’ve never trained a human before, not to mention how weird you are being an outworlder, and your freaky taming thing,” She jumped off the branch and landed in front of me, a small gust of wind ruffling my clothes. “Not to mention the elders keep saying not to ask questions about you, and how am I supposed to train someone without asking questions? And don’t get me started on that annoying blue-tail who keeps trying to seduce me, and the monsters in the north getting stronger than we thought…”

She rambled on for an uncomfortably long time, and while I will be the first to admit that I was somewhat biased against her, it sounded like she had a lot to deal with outside of me and was only now able to vent a little. While she had been in a bad mood ever since I met her, I just attributed her aggression and hostility towards me as frustration at being asked to babysit a human, not…whatever this teenage rant was about.

Wait…is she actually a teenager? Or the dragon equivalent?

“ – and the guardians have noticed some weird blob monster beyond the world’s borders, –”

“Hold on,” I interrupted her, and she actually acknowledged me by stopping, something that would have shocked me had I been cognizant of it. Instead I needed to know her age right now, because if I had been tormented all this time by what amounted to a teenager, or worse yet, an actual child, my anger towards the dragons would increase beyond what it already was.

“How old are you?’ I asked her, none too politely.

There was an uncomfortably long pause before she spoke. “Why does that matter?”

I sighed and pushed down the impulse to raise my voice. “Just…tell me.”

Another long pause followed, and she turned away from me, her tail curling around her leg as she quietly responded, so faint I could barely make it out. “Ninety-seven.”

“Mother fucker,” I involuntarily cursed. “You’re not an adult yet, are you? You’re a damn teenager!”

She swung back towards me, her face on the verge of tears. “I am not a child! I’m basically grown up as it is! What does a tiny three years matter, anyway? And who are you to call me a child?! You’re not even fifty yet!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at my predicament.

The situation was simultaneously worse and better than I thought it was. Sending a child on the cusp of adulthood to watch over a potentially dangerous outworlder was an objectively poor decision on the part of the dragons…unless they had a reason for being so flippant.

If I tried to break the vow connecting me and Reela, right here and now by using a spell from the trove, would it be noticed? I still had no idea about the capabilities of adult dragons, but I couldn’t discount them detecting my usage of mana, even if they had never come across it before.

Oh, and I couldn’t forget about Khime, the person or god or mana user who brought me here by whisking me across the universe, or perhaps even multiple universes. He definitely seemed interested in me for some reason, and wanted me to fulfill his nebulous goal that he couldn’t or wouldn’t mention. He probably had an eye on me whenever I wasn’t in my beast space.

Weighing the pros and cons, it was too risky to try anything mana-related out in the open. For the time being, any and all mana experiments would have to be done in the safety and privacy of my beast space. As far as I knew, nobody could teleport inside, as Reela had tried and failed to do so once, when I hadn’t responded as quickly as she would have liked. And despite only having a sample size of one, I felt confident I could use the mesmerism technique on myself to bolster my space’s defenses.

“Are you even listening to me?”

The high-pitched voice brought me back to the present, where my teenage dragonkin mentor was glaring at me with her hands on her hips.

“Sigh, we need to talk,” I said as calmly as I could.

“I said that first! And we still haven’t talked about that yet! So just shut up and let me talk first,” she yelled, apparently still in her ranting mode, as her voice retained its high pitch.

“The elders have called me back to my home, which means you’re coming with me,” she got close enough to me that I could see her narrowed eyes and caught a whiff of jasmine coming off her, “But let me make one thing clear. You don’t do anything, anything, without my approval, especially that taming thing.”

“Yeah, sorry princess, but that’s not happening.” I backed off to regain my personal space…only for her to rush at me and grab my collar.

“How did you know I was a princess? Who told you?”

I felt a sense of relief and vindication at her scream. It was impossible that a dragon princess was going around unaccompanied or unprotected, proving that I was right not to take action in front of her.

“Jesus, calm down, will you!” I shouted as I locked eyes with her…and she immediately let go of me and backed away.

Oh fuck me.

Her eyes had gone glassy, and I instantly knew I had fucked up. That ‘unexplained phenomena’ nonsense had reared its ugly head once again. How the fuck am I supposed to interact with anybody when shit like this can happen? And more importantly, what am I supposed to do now? Well, I know what to do, but it’s gonna look really bad to anyone watching.

I grabbed her wrist and brought her into my space before any dragons that were watching could kill me in an attempt to undo Reela’s…hypnosis? Whatever, I could just mesmerize her and everything would be back to normal.

I hoped.