Conscious, Conscientious

Tailpiece was a small, circular village built from the trees surrounding it, and nothing bad ever happened there. Or, more accurately, nothing happened there.

Deon had spent all eighteen years of his life in Tailpiece, and he wasn’t about to waste another. This led him to the outer rim of the village in the middle of the night. He entered the woods where the perfect grass met the tall maple trees, and scurried quickly through the branches and brush. It had been a while since he and Savannah discovered the spot, so he hoped he’d be able to retrace his steps in the dark.

After spending a minute convinced he was way off track, Deon stumbled forward, finding a familiar clearing in the trees. He made it to the edge. His heart began to race as he raised a hand and slowly stepped forward.

Maybe it’s…gone now?

The thought turned out fleeting. Deon’s hand met the solid, invisible surface he had grown to loathe. The barrier still surrounded Tailpiece.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’re here too,” a voice uttered not too far behind him.

Deon sighed. He lowered his hand and turned around. “What’s up, Savannah?” He could barely make out her outline from where she sat, leaning against a tree and unconsciously stroking her brown hair like she always did.

“I’m starting to think those dreams of yours don’t actually mean anything,” Savannah said.

“I had another one tonight—that’s why I came here,” Deon quickly defended. “And Lammy has them too, the same exact ones. That has to mean something.”

Savannah shrugged. “You’re cousins. Maybe it’s just a weird relative thing.”

“No, I’m telling you…” Deon trailed off, realizing there was no point right now. The barrier was still there, just like every other time. “Why…is it just the two of us?”

“What?”

“Why are we the only ones who want to leave this place…to see if there’s something else out there?” Deon clarified. “Nobody else even wants to think about it. Just you and me.”

Savannah leaned her head against the tree trunk. “Probably for the same reason I dumped you.”

“Okay…harsh…”

“We both want to know if things can ever change.”

She said nothing after this, so Deon sensed she was almost ready to make her way back home. He glanced again through the invisible wall, and then back to her. It was a terrible feeling—to be this close to everything you wanted, and know it’s impossibly out of reach.

“You look hot, by the way,” Deon added after a while.

“Shut up. You can barely see me.”

“Still.”

~

The next day…

Evasive maneuvers…look good.

Close-range offensive…perfect.

Sportsmanship…

Lammy looked up from his messy notes to watch Deon’s fight as it raged on. He was surprised his older cousin’s opponent had lasted this long.

“Come on, Reever. I really hope you have more tricks than that!” Deon taunted. “I expected more from someone who felt confident enough to take me on!”

Lammy slapped his hand against his face, and then circled the word “sportsmanship” in his notes. Deon had certainly tightened up his techniques since their last training session, but his mocking and one-liners…not so much.

Nonetheless, the dozens of teenagers and children cheered Deon on, eagerly watching the faceoff in the afternoon sun. They all stood in a grassy field surrounding the combatants, creating the borders of an improvised fighting arena.

Lammy watched Reever’s motions as he prepared his next move. He’s too tired for close-range combat, he observed. Here comes a projectile attack.

Reever lifted a hand in Deon’s direction. In an instant, an oversized potato appeared, floating in place. With a point, Reever launched the potato at Deon.

Much to Lammy’s expectation, Deon sidestepped the giant vegetable, closely dodging it as it crashed into the grass and faded from existence.

“A potato? Really?” Deon teased with a smirk.

His fatigued opponent took a few steps back and shifted into a defensive fighting stance. By his heavy breathing and sweaty red tunic, it was clear he was at his limit.

Time for a trapping technique, Deon, Lammy thought. Focus on the space around Reever, like we practiced…

Deon laughed menacingly. “This was a nice fight, but it’s time to wrap things up!” he announced.

A circle of intertwined vines flashed into existence around Reever. Under Deon’s control, the vines tightened, trapping his target within them. Reever struggled to maintain balance, but ultimately fell onto the grass, unable to move.

“...And that’s that,” Deon said with finality.

The crowd burst into applause. It was another simple victory. Deon commanded the vines to disappear, relieving the defeated Reever.

Lammy smiled; this was a perfect finisher. His cousin was still as impressive as ever.

He approached Deon as kids took turns walking by to congratulate him.

“Well, you’re still the best!” he told Deon as they high-fived. “But you seriously failed in one area, though.” He presented his notes.

Deon scanned the hardly-legible writing. “Bad pun?” he read aloud.

“It’s time to wrap things up? That was kind of lame,” Lammy said. “Also, maybe ease up on the taunting a bit…”

“But that’s half the fun!” Deon retorted with a laugh. “Loosen up, Lammy.”

They headed over to help Reever to his feet as the crowd died down, and then began their way home. The walk wouldn’t take long, but that’s because nothing was far in Tailpiece. It took about five minutes tops to clear the entire village, and the ever-short grass only made it easier to navigate.

But the downside of the village’s humble size was its lack of things to do. There was a fresh pond and a small field, and that was about it. So most of the youth simply used their powers for entertainment, which most often took the form of daily fighting competitions after school. Every day was predictable and easy—and with Deon at Lammy’s side, there was nothing he’d ever hope to change about Tailpiece.

Lammy looked up at Deon as they walked quietly. He liked to think Deon was the older version of himself, the identity he’d get to have in four years—at least, as far as his confidence and talent. Like their mothers, they had the same white hair and sunset orange eyes. They even wore matching black tunics. But that was about it; while Deon was tall, lean, and fit, Lammy was still short and pudgy. While Deon was rambunctious, Lammy was his silent companion.

But worst of all: while Deon was always a natural with his powers, Lammy could never get his to work properly. No matter how hard he tried to bring his imaginations into reality, something always went awry. He liked to think Deon was the older him, but he knew he would never be as great.

Lammy noticed Deon was unusually quiet today. Post-fight chats about techniques and training had become a habit, and Deon had always initiated them.

“I gotta say, you’re one talented fighter,” Lammy said to break the silence. “I can’t think of a single person who can beat you now.”

“Yeah,” Deon said absently. He was gazing into the woods that bordered Tailpiece.

“What’s up?”

He returned his attention. “Nothing. Just…there’s no real challenge anymore. Fighting used to be more fun when there were people who could seriously take me on.”

“Well don’t count on me getting any better; I’m a terrible fighter,” Lammy told him with a laugh.

“Don’t say that. Without your coaching and drills, I’d be screwed,” Deon assured. “I’m just saying I wish fighting was still exciting. I wish anything was still exciting.” He looked back to the trees. “Sometimes, Lammy, I wonder…do you think…?”

“No,” Lammy snapped nervously. “There’s nothing beyond here. Remember: ‘Tailpiece is our only safe and peaceful home.’”

“We’re not in the schoolhouse. You don’t have to recite that stuff,” Deon said flatly. “And that’s what they say, but…what if they’re wrong?”

Lammy detected a layer of annoyance in Deon’s tone that he hadn’t heard before. It made his heart beat faster. If they’re wrong, I still don’t want you to leave…he thought. I need you.

Suddenly, Lammy felt his foot slip into a pocket of rocks. “W—Whoa!” he exclaimed, toppling forward and landing stomach-first.

Deon burst out laughing. When Lammy observed the rocks, he noticed they all featured childish sketches of Deon sticking his tongue out at him. He had once again fallen victim to Deon using his abilities for pranks.

“Hey!” Lammy yelled, but his anger quickly morphed into laughter as his cousin began to run away teasingly. The cousins chased each other home as the sunlight continued to decline.

~

Deon cracked the front door open, and he and Lammy slipped into Deon’s house with cautious steps. They figured if they were subtle enough, maybe their family wouldn’t notice they were once again late for dinner.

They both scanned every corner of the wooden walled living room: nobody was in sight.

“Let’s go to my room and act like we were here the whole time,” Deon whispered.

Lammy nodded.

“THINK YOU’RE SNEAKY, EH?!?!” came a deep, booming voice from behind. Before Deon and Lammy could react, they were tugged off their feet and dangling in the air by their collars.

“Uncle Adon…HOW?!” Deon choked, arms and legs flailing. For such a massive, muscular man, his uncle was remarkably stealthy.

“Sorry dad…” sulked Lammy, hanging limply.

Their captor’s reverberating laughter filled the house as Deon noticed his aunt Ergi enter from the dining room.

“Alright, that’s enough roughhousing,” she said with a gentle patience.

To their relief, Adon released them and they landed clumsily on the floor.

Deon’s father poked his head in, untying his pink apron. “Deon, why are your clothes all dirty? Were you out fighting other kids again? You know I hate when you do that. I get so worried…”

Deon sighed.

“Okay boys, come get some food,” Aunt Ergi instructed, returning to the kitchen.

“Yes Mom,” said Lammy.

As Deon watched Lammy and Uncle Adon make their way across the room, something just didn’t feel right. He didn’t want to go sit with them. While he loved his family, they were all on a different page than him. They were content. Life was the same every single day, and they were okay with it. He wasn’t. He needed an out.

“Actually…I’m not hungry,” Deon said quietly. He wasn’t sure if anyone heard him as he kept his head down and started towards his bedroom.

As soon as Deon arrived, he slumped against his bed and began staring at the walls of his room. He noticed some old stick figure drawings he had carved with Lammy in a corner, of the two of them fighting a giant squirrel monster.

Focusing on the air in the middle of the room, Deon imagined the monster carving in his head. With a mental command, he brought the cartoonish beast into existence, floating near the ceiling. He made it run in place and show off its fangs.

Now this would be a cool attack if I can make it fight, Deon thought. But it’s not like I’d ever need it; nobody in Tailpiece would be able to handle it. And Dad would just get mad at me…

Someone knocked on the door. With a sigh, Deon commanded the squirrel monster to disappear. “Yeah?” he called.

The door opened and Deon’s mother stood there, glaring at him with a strange twinkle in her eyes. “Dad says you were out fighting again, is that so?” she asked loudly, practically yelling down the hallway.

“Um…yeah…”

She quickly stepped in the room and closed the door. “Well? How did it go? Did you win?!” she asked as the twinkle in her eyes turned into fiery excitement.

Deon couldn’t hold back a half-smile. “Yeah Mom, I won.”

“Good, you better have. Any new techniques?”

“Lammy helped me come up with a new trapping technique with vines—AH!” Vines shot out from in front of his mother and grabbed him by the arms, pulling him to his feet.

“Vines, huh? I’m sure you boys can get more creative than that,” she said firmly. Then with a wink, she grabbed Deon’s arms. “Hey, I’m proud of you.”

Deon rolled his eyes and looked away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, mom. I just need some alone time, I guess.”

His mother continued to examine him, then released his arms. “I know you too well, Deon. I know what’s going on.”

“Really?” he replied, trying to mask his concern. If she figured out he’d been sneaking to the edge of Tailpiece, it was all over.

“Listen, it’s okay to be missing Savannah right now. That’s totally normal,” she said. “She’s a sweet girl. Just give her some time. And I’m here to talk if you need me.”

“Right…thanks,” Deon said. Well, at least Savannah dumping me gives me a good cover…

His mother gave him a quick smile and headed to the door. “Be sure not to tell dad I used my powers just now,” she instructed. “And if he asks, I scolded you for fighting.” She gave him a thumbs-up.

Deon returned the signal as she closed the door and left. His smile faded only seconds after she was gone. He wished Lammy’s companionship and his mother’s constant encouragement could keep him feeling positive, but it just wasn’t enough. Or rather, it should have been—but the knowledge that something else could be out there turned Tailpiece into a cage instead of a home.

There needs to be something more, Deon thought. He glanced at his backpack lying against the bed. Those dreams have to lead to something…

~

Glowing purple rain showered the vast metallic structures that scraped the black sky. Floating in the air…

…Now the orange fade of a horizon cast a beam of subtle warmth onto a grassy cliff. Laughter filled the air. The grass was soft…

…A child smiled with wonder as she watched the gash on her arm reverse itself until it was fully healed…joyful tears…

…A man with dead eyes…a league of men…calamity…a tool meant to kill appears in a woman’s bloody hand—

Lammy awoke with a jolt, immediately sitting upright. He was breathing heavily. After waiting for his heartbeat to finally slow, he rubbed his face.

“Another weird dream…” he whispered to himself. But this one was even more vivid than the others—it felt like he was really there, even though he had never seen or perceived anything like these places in real life.

He knew Deon must have seen it all too; every time it happened, they would find out the next morning that their dreams were identical.

Lammy looked out his window to the house beside his. Deon and Lammy’s families lived right next to each other, making it easy for them to have meals together and share life. Deon’s window was directly across from Lammy’s.

But it was open.

Alarmed, Lammy opened his own window and peaked outside. He heard a low shuffle, and looked to see Deon sneaking away from the house. He was heading towards the woods, carrying his white backpack.

No…he can’t be…Lammy thought as the same panic he felt from the dream began to build back up. It crossed his mind to go wake his parents. No…Deon would get in so much trouble if they found out, and he would hold it against Lammy.

But he needed to stop him. Taking in a nervous breath, Lammy hurried to put on his shoes and black tunic. He hopped back onto his bed, opened the window, and began to climb out. But his foot caught the corner of the windowsill, and he toppled out of the house, landing hard on his back.

Lammy grumbled to himself quietly as he got up and brushed grass off his clothes. Looking forward, he saw Deon was much farther along, closer to the trees. Lammy scurried after him, keeping low to avoid the windows of the two houses.

Thankfully, their houses were two of the closest to the woods, so he wouldn’t have to sneak past many villagers to catch up. Savannah’s was the only home left to get past, and he doubted her or her father would be up this late. He hastily crawled past their porch, keeping an eye on Deon.

“Lammy? What are you doing?” a voice called from the porch in a half-whisper.

Lammy froze. After a few seconds, he heard the person get up and walk towards the edge. Lammy sheepishly looked up and saw Savannah gazing down at him, with a smirk that made it clear he must look ridiculous.

“You…heard me?”

“You’re not very sneaky, bud,” Savannah said with a soft laugh.

“Oh…”

Savannah sat down close to him. He noticed she was wearing the faded yellow dress Aunt Meiv had crafted for her when she and Deon were still dating. Her light brown hair shivered in the faint breeze.

“Trying to stop him?” she asked, cocking her head towards the woods.

Lammy nodded shyly. “H—He’s…trying to leave Tailpiece,” he said. “He thinks there’s something else out there for some reason…”

“And you don’t?”

“Well…I don’t know. Everyone says there’s nothing else.”

Savannah leaned back a bit. “I think there’s something out there…probably a whole world of something,” she shared. “I don’t have the crazy dreams Deon said you guys have, but sometimes my dad says stuff without thinking. He doesn’t realize I pick up on it.”

Lammy glanced over to Deon. He was practically a speck in the distance, and the darkness of the trees enveloped him as he entered the woods.

“Why don’t you want him to go see?” Savannah asked, noticing his growing worry.

Lammy must have appeared more appalled by her question than he intended, as Savannah’s eyes widened when he returned his attention. “He can’t…I mean, what if he likes it out there?”

“That’s not a bad thing.”

“But…what will I do?” He didn’t realize his heartbeat could feel so heavy. If Deon left, he knew he didn’t have anything else. He couldn’t make friends on his own, he wasn’t much help to his dad for lumber and farming, and his powers were weak. Deon was the source of everything that gave him purpose.

“I don’t know bud, what you do about it is up to you,” Savannah said. “Honestly, I’d like to get out of this place too. But I don’t have powers like the rest of you; I probably wouldn’t make it very far. And besides, I think Deon needs to do this for himself.”

“What do you mean?”

“He needs something that makes him grow up,” she said. “He needs to learn he can’t have everything he wants handed to him. Maybe this will be good for him.” She turned her gaze to the woods. “I think you should let him go.”

“No!” Lammy yelled, springing to his feet. “How can you say that? I won’t let him!”

Casting aside any attempt of stealth, Lammy started running to the trees. You’re not going anywhere, Deon, he thought. I can’t let you! Soon he was struggling to keep moving, cursing that he couldn’t be as fit as his cousin. But not even his own body was about to keep him from stopping Deon.

When he reached the woods, he plowed through the branches. Twigs and bark clawed at his clothes and hair as he pushed along. Lammy had never been in the woods, and a new feeling of unfamiliarity only increased his nerves. He could only hope he was still on Deon’s track.

Lammy tried to yell Deon’s name, but he was too winded to speak. He tripped on a root, rolled, and leaped up to his feet in desperation.

Then at last, through the branches, he spotted the shine of white hair and a backpack under the moon’s dull light.

Lammy launched himself into the small clearing and where Deon stood. There were more trees ahead of them, so it appeared the woods continued on much farther than this. Deon stood facing the edge of the clearing, but he turned his head to see Lammy.

“Wait…” Lammy gasped, falling to his knees and wheezing.

“Lammy? What the heck are you doing all the way out here?” asked Deon.

“Why…?” said Lammy, slowly getting his breath back. He wished he could recover sooner and sound more convincing.

But as he looked at his cousin, something began to shift. He could see it in Deon’s eyes—the eagerness, the tenacity. Watching him stand there, Lammy realized how long it had been since he saw that same fiery expression. Over the past couple years, something in Deon began changing. He still seemed to love their daily routines, but now it was clear that with each passing day, this was fading.

As much as Lammy didn’t want Deon to leave him behind, he saw that maybe Savannah was right—maybe he needed this.

“I’m sorry,” Deon said somberly. “I just…I don’t know…”

Lammy stood up, finally recovering. “You know, I followed you all the way out here to beg you not to leave,” he admitted.

Deon nodded uncomfortably. “Right—”

“But you know what? I want to say something else,” continued Lammy. He felt his throat tightening as he fought back tears. “You can do this. I want you to do this. If there’s really something outside Tailpiece, I want it to be everything you’ve ever hoped to find. You’re the best fighter I know, you’re my best friend, and I want you to be happy. I want you to find yourself.”

The words poured out naturally, catching Lammy by surprise. Yet he knew this was precisely what he wanted to say.

Deon paused for a moment, until a huge smile grew on his face. He turned to face Lammy fully. “You’re my best friend too, Lammy,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t think I could tell you.”

“Well…I’ll really miss you,” Lammy muttered.

Deon shrugged. “I wouldn’t speak so soon, though. I mean, I’ve been out here every night we have those dreams, and I always reach some invisible wall. I can’t even promise I’ll be leaving.” He laughed.

“Wait…really?”

“Yup, the stupid wall thing has been here every night,” Deon explained. “Watch.” He leaned back against the air…

And disappeared.