LIGHTNOVELONLINE End
Korri’s eyes traveled over Dee’s face. She asked softly, “What?” Her mind spilled over with his words like a swollen river as she struggled to make sense of them.
Dee laid out a hand. “I was born female. My aunt is Cerys Newid, our boss.”
Korri’s mouth dipped open. Confusion reigned in her thoughts as she slowly shook her head. “What…why…how?”
Dee shrugged. “I have a means of remaining male while I work, which Cerys provided me.”
All the air seeped out of Korri’s words. Shaking her head, she asked, “Why…are you telling me all this?”
Dee lowered his hand. “Because of what you said…and what I said.”
Korri kept her eyes on Dee. “So, you lied?”
Dee tensed. “I don’t lie. People just never ask the right questions.” She watched his eyes. They didn’t waver. They met hers boldly.
Korri dipped her head away. “Whatever. What now?”
Dee’s hands splayed out on his desk. “I don’t know. You okay?”
Korri clutched her hands. “I’m…I…I need a minute. Excuse me.”
She stood up from her chair and swiftly walked out of the room. She didn’t have a plan for how far she was going to go.
Korri made her way around the bend of the hallway and out. She stepped into the housewares and bedding section of the store, leaned against a gigantic pillow on the end of an island, and rested her head back.
She wanted to hide and stay there. She wanted to cry but couldn’t bring herself to tears. She couldn’t bring herself to do or feel anything as she leaned there and thought. There wasn’t anger. She wasn’t mad but she didn’t feel right.
She felt like the ground had slipped from underneath her and she couldn’t get her footing. All she could do was hide.
As Dee’s words reflected back in her thoughts, Korri’s head drifted away from the pillow. She set her foot out and braced herself as she looked back to the hallway leading to Dee.
She took a deep breath. Not knowing exactly how, she took a step followed by another. She walked back to the Returns & Complaints Department, stood right in front of Dee, and announced, “I’m confused but I trust you, Dee. And…what you said goes for you too. Boy or girl, you are you. Isn’t that right?”
Dee marveled at Korri curiously then slowly nodded as he said, “That can be assumed.”
“So…then I ask…you as a girl or as a boy…do you mean what you said?”
Dee relaxed his eyes. “I always mean what I say.”
Korri nodded. “I mean what I said too. I don’t know what to do about it, but I mean it.”
Calmly, Dee stood up from his chair and walked around. Korri guardedly watched him approach. Her skin felt a flush flutter. The moment felt surreal as Dee wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug. She couldn’t imagine being in her body but the touch was so very real.
It was a precise and practiced hug. It was friendly but still a little distant. It felt like a hand to help her up or a hand on her shoulder to protect her. But Korri felt relief in that embrace.
When it finally ended, Korri lingered till Dee drifted away. He turned and leaned against the counter, resolving, “How about we finish our closing papers first…”
Before long, and with few words, the two of them settled back into their seats. Korri looked at her paperwork but her attention kept diverting with questions. Those questions kept nudging her to glance in Dee’s direction as he worked. She glanced quickly, almost out of the corner of her eye, before turning away.
She highlighted the memory of that hug until the thought glowed like an ember as she wandered through the rest of her paperwork.
As the dimming lights and sounds of closing flowed in their direction, one last customer made his way through the bending hallway. Dee took care of it. The man’s face and questions washed over Korri as she drifted between feelings.
He had a booklight. It highlighted opposite sex perspectives in a text through gentle, mental nanites. It simply broke. No drama. No deductive skills required. Just a replacement. When the customer was gone, that was all.
Dee shuffled his papers together and asked, “Done with yours?”
Korri straightened. She glanced down and tried to clear her head. She nodded and pronounced, “Yup.”
Dee stood from his chair with a creak. “Mind if I take them to the shift manager?” With a little sigh, Korri tidied her work and passed it to Dee.
She noticed how his fingers nearly touched hers as he took the papers. She noticed his soft but prominent smell as he passed behind her. It whispered across her. It seemed to draw her closer, like a wake through the air.
When Dee left through the hallway, Korri pressed her hands to her face and muttered, “What the heck….” She sighed and pushed away from her chair. Vainly, she tried to still the torrent of thoughts and confusion by retracing the lines of the ceiling. After fidgeting a bit, she walked over to the industrial fan and let it blow across her face until it felt numb. Before she could think of anything else, Dee stepped back into the room and smiled.
She tried to return the smile as naturally as possible, but it squirmed on her face between a smirk and a wild grimace. Dee’s look was inscrutable. He flattened his cap in his hands and glanced around the room. Korri followed his gaze. Eventually, it came to rest on her. She leaned back and asked eagerly, “Yes?”
Dee gestured towards the hallway and noted, “I figure the boss will let you change out of that uniform now.”
It took Korri a moment before she nodded and said, “Oh! Right. See…well. Since I might still be on her err…shitlist…might be best if I approach her before changing.”
Dee shrugged. “Your call.”
Korri took a few steps towards the hallway before adding, “I’m considering what I might say to her…about my experiences since earlier.”
Dee traced his hand on the counter. “As I said, whatever you say is your call.”
Korri’s eyes dipped submissively. “Can we talk afterward?”
Leaning back against the counter, Dee gave a single nod. Korri touched her hair and asked, “Where will you be?”
Dee stretched his wrist. “The parking lot.”
“Okay.”
With that, she left and tried not to look back. Conflicting thoughts, like alcohol on her brain, merged and flowed. She had so many feelings towards Dee and towards this whole situation. Aisles and window curtains drifted by. She found and followed the red line. Despite the distractions of thoughts, she also found a sudden, feral pounding of her bladder.
She darted over to the rear, main restrooms and allowed herself only a momentary pause when she realized she’d automatically reached for the ladies’ room first.
Afterwards, Korri leaned over the sink and brushed water across her face. She relaxed till the door swung open and a woman entered. Korri paused and regarded her out of the corner of her eye. It was just a customer.
She knew that some of those in housewares had witnessed when the boss made her put on this uniform. She didn’t relish the idea of running into them right now.
Korri darted out of the bathroom and weaved her way along the red line. It terminated at an unremarkable, oak door.
Softly, she turned the knob and walked in. The room was simple with a small, narrow desk but the walls were not so simple. An enormous dreamcatcher hung from the far wall. A round, golden mirror flanked by yin and yang symbols covered another wall.
A colorful explosion of paintings filled further space. One depicted a dense jungle in the hills. Another, a rain-swaddled city at night. The rest were various ornaments of strange and foreign metallic designs.
The boss looked up from some paperwork and smiled at Korri as she carefully approached. Her hair was short, almost the same length as Dee’s but gunmetal gray. Despite her hair, her face looked youthful. She leaned forward. Korri watched her and tried to discern any similar features to Dee but, to her eyes, they looked nothing alike.
Korri lowered her head in an intentionally-submissive gesture and said, “Hello, Ms. Newid. I’m done with my shift.”
Ms. Newid flicked a bit of her hair behind her ear and asked, “And?”
With a sigh, Korri continued, “I’m very sorry about what happened earlier. I promise you it will never happen again.”
She inspected Korri and gave the smallest of nods. “I know. So, how have you and Dee been getting along?”
Korri cleared her throat and glanced over to the nearby wicker chair. Ms. Newid gestured lightly with her hand. Korri sat and answered, “There’s been a couple of challenging customers but nothing we couldn’t handle.”
Ms. Newid gave no gesture but remarked, “There’s really no challenge in it for Dee. Oh and, by the way, did Dee send the one who visited me?”
Korri confirmed, “He did.”
The slight presence of a smile slipped across her face. “As I suspected. And it was dealt with. Now…did you and Dee talk much?”
Korri pursed her lips and folded her hands. “A little in the downtime between customers.”
Slowly, Ms. Newid laid her fingers over the side of her cheek. Her neck relaxed and she asked, “How do you find Dee?”
Korri straightened and resolved, “A diligent and highly-capable employee, as you probably know.”
Ms. Newid gave a grunt and pushed aside a stack of paper. She rested her hands and asked, “How was your evening?”
Korri wove her fingers together and said, “Done. May I be released from my obligation?”
Laying out a hand, Ms. Newid responded, “As I said when you put it on, you may just remove the uniform at any time and that will be it.”
Thinking quietly a moment, Korri asked, “And there’s nothing else to it?”
Ms. Newid’s hand rose and curled in place. “Well, I wouldn’t say that. I’m not against mental transformations. I prefer not to use them personally. However, your uniform does have a little something extra.”
Korri’s attention sharpened but Ms. Newid’s fingers flicked out before Korri spoke. “Not a mental transformation. Just self-suggestibility. It was there to help you cope. I didn’t want your time to be unpleasant.”
Quiet followed a rough swallow by Korri. After a moment of reflection, she remarked, “In that case, nothing I experienced this evening has any meaning.”
Ms. Newid scoffed, “Now you’re just being like Dee. He doesn’t even know how often I try it. And besides, I wear a bracelet with something like it all the time.” Her hand dove into a drawer and came out with a jeweled bracelet.
Nervously, Korri scratched at the collar of her uniform. She inquired, “Why aren’t you wearing it?”
Ms. Newid set the bracelet aside and said, “Beside the point…”
Korri didn’t let it go. With far more force than she figured she could muster, she asked, “What do you want?”
The words froze Ms. Newid. She looked over Korri and admitted, “Maybe a little less sadness in the world. But who knows…”
Korri shook her head. “I want that too but it’s gotta be true, real, and sincere.”
Ms. Newid slowly whispered to herself. Korri leaned close and Ms. Newid responded, “This is one of those moments where I wish I had an old proverb to prove a point…but I have none. I can only say that I wish I were at home in truth like Dee is. And…know that I deeply love my niece with all my heart and soul and I would do anything for him.” The texture of Newid’s words changed as she spoke, like some deep reservoir inside her was speaking through her throat.
Korri relaxed. Ms. Newid watched her carefully and noted, “I guess you know as much as I suspected.”
Brushing down the back portion of her hair, Korri shrugged. “I dunno what I know. Just enough to be confused, I guess.”
Ms. Newid slid her drawer open again and pulled out an item that looked like a bent, small walnut. She gestured to her ear. “Dee wears something like this all the time. It’s hidden in the ear. It’s actually keyed to a device like that illusion product I found you with.”
Korri stared at it and noted, “So, Dee has nanites on him all the time?”
She set the item on her desk. “After a fashion. This is actually very passive and precise, much like your uniform. But it tends to lock up if it mingles with other types of nanites. Nothing serious…but enough to be a headache. That’s why I don’t sell it.”
Korri moistened her lips. “Would you be willing to loan one?” Korri bit on her words as soon as they came out.
Ms. Newid’s eyes widened. “Oh?...oh…hmm. That would depend on the circumstances.”
Korri lowered her head. “Forget it. It’s a stupid idea. I’m not thinking clearly…”
A cough cleared Ms. Newid’s throat and brushed aside Korri’s voice. Resolutely, Ms. Newid inquired, “All I’m asking is…will this make Dee happy if I loan it to you?”
With her arms folded low, Korri said only, “That’s not for me to say. But I’d appreciate it.”
Ms. Newid replaced her fingers against her cheek and marveled at Korri. “To think how much you’ve changed in such a short time. And you still make me wonder. You may borrow this spare for as long as you see fit.” She passed the small device to Korri, followed by a larger unit with a small screen. Along with that, she gave her a booklet with directions.
She rose from her seat and Korri rose as well. She seized Korri’s hand before she could offer it. With a wry smile, she told Korri, “I hope you put it to good use. Good luck to you. Do take care of my niece. If you don’t, I’ll know.”
With that, Korri left and made her way back to the front of the store. She couldn’t see customers anymore and the lights were low. She approached the employee lockers.
Doors were marked for men, women, and those who’d been transformed to either gender. She knew to take the door with a little male stick figure with an arrow towards a female stick figure. But first, she had to get her street clothes from the men’s locker room.
She knew it wasn’t a big deal but it made her fidget. Taking a deep breath, Korri rounded the corner. Once inside, her knees seized up. She kept her eyes down and envisioned her locker in the room. It had to be three rows back on the top.
She turned and ran right into a half-naked man. She looked up at Max’s brown eyes and thick, black hair. Relief washed over Korri but she still curled her hands close.
She could see Max’s dense, firm musculature without his shirt on. He tapped Korri gently on the shoulder and asked softly, “Ma’am, you alright?”
Korri, trying a faint smile, nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Transformation.”
Max nodded immediately, released her, and said, “Don’t mind me then.”
Fortunately for Korri, Max was the only other person present. Korri went right to her locker but it wasn’t her locker. It had a pink lock on it. She stepped back and counted the rows. Max moved over to her and cleared his throat.
Her head turned. He held out the booklet and said, “You dropped this.”
She checked what she was carrying. She was only holding the earpiece and controller. Korri accepted it with a “Thanks” before going back to the lockers.
Max lingered and asked, “Doug Rivers?”
Korri gave a confused look. “Umm…huh?”
“Sorry, I was just guessing…Korri.”
It took a moment for her to recall that her name showed all the time on her chest. She corrected him, “Actually, it’s Jeff.”
Max made a little sound before saying, “Ooo…yeah. I heard something. You got reassigned. Is everything okay?”
Korri glanced out of the corner of her eye. Her locker was right there in front of her. Automatically, she turned the lock and opened it. Looking inside, she answered Max’s question, “I dunno. But I think it’ll be okay.”
Max gave a little puff of relief. “I hope so. Sounds like you had a rough one. It was quiet for me except for when my friend Norry called asking for something. I swear…that ‘girl’.” He finished with a little chuckle and slipped his shirt on.
Korri reached into the locker and fished out her possessions. It was a lot to carry but she managed without anyone’s help, despite Max’s offer.
Once in the vacant transformation locker room, Korri settled on a bench and set her items down. Slowly, she unbuttoned the blazer, revealing her pale undershirt. The curve of her chest showed clearly.
Pausing just a moment, Korri pulled her undershirt off from the bottom and over her head. Standing there in her bra, Korri felt suddenly nervous. Not nervous about her breasts below in a pale blue bra. Instead, she felt nervous about the moment the last article of clothing would slip from her body.
After undoing her ponytail, she hiked the pants down her hips. A tingling memory from her dream touched her anew. She clutched her soft stomach and reached around to undo the bra clasp. Without much trouble, she had it off and in a pile with the rest of her uniform.
Korri gulped, shut her eyes, and slipped off the last of her underwear. As soon as it passed her feet, she could feel a shiver and hear a faint sizzling in the air. Before she could take another breath, everything had changed.
As simple as changing a costume, Korri was Jeff again. He gave his hand a stretch and brushed his thin goatee but he didn’t dwell on his body. He just slipped on his clothes and made sure he didn’t leave anything behind. Then, he put the uniform in one of the lockers, knowing it would be taken care of by tomorrow.
Once outside, he made sure the controller, earpiece, and manual were all with him. He walked quickly. Turning down an aisle and slipping past a few employees, Jeff just gave a glance at the hallway to the Returns and Complaints Department. It appeared darkened. Dee had probably already left.
Jeff continued to the front of the store, around the cash wrap area, and through a quick, stray nanite cleansing on his way out. A fellow employee gave him a wave, which he returned automatically.
The parking lot was full of cars worming their way past each other and people walking in all different directions. Jeff made his way against the current and over to his car, a small blue coupe with a sticker quoting Macbeth on the bumper. He reminded himself, again, to read Macbeth someday.
He leaned against the bumper and inspected what Ms. Newid had given him. The text of the booklet was too small to read by the glow of light poles and store signs. Newid’s Wares wasn’t the anchor of the shopping area but it did have a cozy corner at one end beside a glasses repair shop, a yogurt place, and a sushi restaurant.
Jeff stretched his back and thought back over his day. He thought back over what he’d said and done. He didn’t feel any more or less sure of any of it.
He carefully cradled his items and scanned the lot for familiar faces. All of it was a blur.
Time passed.
The current of cars and walkers slowed. Ease settled across the lot. The blue of the Newid’s Wares sign dimmed. Jeff stretched and checked around. He used the instructions as a soft container to secure the other items and leaned against his car again.
Slowly, he shut his eyes. In the darkness, a little shadow of himself imagined hours passing till his was the only car left in the lot. But before he could indulge this thought, a finger poked his shoulder and an unfamiliar voice said, “Hi, Cindi.”
Jeff opened his eyes and looked down at a girl in a navy windbreaker and black, denim jeans. She had Dee’s nose and a little of the curve of his lips. Her gaze was sharp with green eyes, just like Dee's. Her arms were smaller than he expected and her chest showed lightly through her loose windbreaker. She shifted on her feet, clapped her sneakers on the pavement, and brushed back a bit of hair. Her hair was the same length but it felt longer.
With relief, Jeff leaned forward from his car and asked, “Is that you?”
The girl shrugged one shoulder. “I’m Dee.”
They sat down together on the nearby curb. Jeff mentioned his experience with Ms. Newid. Dee sighed and said, “I really discount the idea she meant anything nefarious. She’s the kind of person who would open a store like this and just make it work any way she can.” She gestured towards the building for emphasis.
Jeff watched Dee and nodded back. “And, aside from all that, she gave me this thing here.” He passed the roll of directions, earpiece, and controller.
Shadows thick across her face, Dee accepted the items and smiled. “Yeah. I usually just leave it in all the time.” She turned around and moved her hair away. Faintly, Jeff could see a sliver of something showing. From a pocket, she pulled out a similar controller. She noted, “Typically, I just keep this in a drawer.”
Jeff clutched his hands and told her, “Even without those clothes, I still mean everything I said.”
Dee set the items in her lap. “I know. So do I.”
Dropping his hands to his lap, Jeff added, “But I still don’t know what that means.”
Dee leaned her head and laid out a hand. “Naturally, it means whatever we choose it to mean. Here.” She touched the controller in a few places and passed the earpiece to Jeff. “Just put this in your ear. I’ll show you.”
He took it from Dee and slipped it into his ear. It slid in easily. Once inside, it almost seemed to vanish. Dee scooted over and shared the screen. “It has a lot of customization. I’m making Korri, only with a more merciful chest.”
Jeff looked at the screen. It seemed like gibberish to him but he took Dee’s word.
She paused and asked, “You mind?”
Jeff shook his head. “I’ve been her for hours already. I don’t mind.”
With a press by Dee, Korri was sitting there on the curb. Her jeans were a closer cut than before and her top as well but everything felt familiar.
With another press by Dee, male Dee returned with a larger windbreaker. He looked over at her and she looked over at him.
Before Korri could comprehend her actions, she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Dee. Before Dee could say another word, he kissed her on the lips. A warm rush full of fear and joy flowed through Korri. Dee calmly accepted her lips till they gently parted.
Her heart racing, Korri looked at Dee’s face, not knowing what to expect. With a smirk, Dee pressed Korri’s controller and kissed back.
The kiss had the roughness of his goatee against Dee’s boyish skin but the same warmth flowed again. A tickling nervousness filled Jeff at first, but the feeling of Dee’s embrace calmed his concerns.
When their lips parted, Dee pressed his controller again. With their third kiss, Jeff advanced. The softness of Dee’s lips against his felt instantly familiar but still unique after their first two kisses.
For their fourth kiss, Dee pressed Jeff’s controller once more. Dee’s touch was easy, slow, and embracing. For Korri and Dee, each kiss was different but each kiss was the same, shared between them.
Korri’s heart still raced after the fourth kiss, as Dee moved and put her slim arm across Korri’s soft shoulder and squeezed.
Korri lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know if that was the right thing to do.”
Dee gently leaned against Korri and said, “It was our decision and I liked it. Did you like it?”
Korri nodded. “I liked it. But I dunno…”
Dee rubbed Korri’s shoulder. “I must admit…me neither.”
Korri sighed and asked, “What now?”
After a searching glance, Dee gestured with her head and asked, “Would you like to get some yogurt before they close? We can eat and talk.”
A slow, whispering wind traced along Korri’s hair. She reached over and touched Dee’s hand on her shoulder. With a quiet nod, Korri answered, “Yeah. I’d like that.”
Together, they walked across the parking lot to the yogurt place.
Endnote - While this concludes the main story, there is a largely-canonical but silly Halloween omake installment that continues aspects of the story several weeks later. It follows this part. There is also a silly Christmas ditty I wrote and can include as some supplementary material.