BuyMort: Rise of the Windowpuncher - How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona. Apocalyptic GameLit

Chapter 43



Cube was quite large, according to the readouts. I visualized him as a three-story building in the desert, how he was the last time I saw him. Then I used the readings to adjust that image. Cube was as tall as a mountaintop. The Pykrete had its work cut out for it, but it had been chosen for the mission based off his size.

That was part of why they chose a big Cube to go after first, to make sure it could be done with conventional spacecraft. Ships with knockoff gravity drives were available on the market, but they were expensive and difficult to acquire. Ice miners were the top candidate, and we were poised to prove why.

The next few hours passed quickly, while the crew got to work priming the systems and running drills. Once we arrived, I smiled gently at Shoshanna and exited the Pykrete. She hung onto the edge of the main portal and stared at our target.

Cube hung massive in the dark. His dirty silver sides gleamed, reflecting our lights in swirling patterns. Our fleet held back at a safe distance, though I wasn’t sure it was all the safe. At his size, Cube’s tongue would likely be able to cover a long distance.

He twirled slowly as he coasted through space, and I plotted my approach carefully to avoid his massive mouth. The slit in his side was apparent, his only facial feature constantly making small movements.

I approached slowly at first, but it was quickly evident he wasn’t aware of me at all. He just spun in place and talked to himself, so I pushed the suit and dove in close, making light contact with his back. It felt like I was floating next to a monolith the size of Everest.

Immediately upon touching him, I heard his voice through my armor.

“Cube is fine,” he muttered. “All needs met, all needs met. No problems. Calm, peaceful Cube. Cube is fine.”

I shook my head and sighed. “Cube,” I said. “Are you okay?”

“CUBE IS FINE!” he suddenly shouted. “ALL NEEDS MET, ALL NEEDS MET!”

“It really doesn’t sound like you’re okay, buddy. Do you know who I am?” I asked.

“VOICES STOP, ALL NEEDS MET! CUBE IS FINE!” he roared back.

I scowled in pain, holding one hand to my poor, mistreated friend.

“I’m not a voice in your head, buddy. It's me, it's Tyson. I’ve been looking for you and I’m so glad I finally found you. It’s going to be okay, Cube,” I told him.

Cube was silent for a short moment. Then, hesitantly, he said “Tyson?” in a small voice. “NO, TYSON GONE. VOICES STOP, CUBE IS FINE! CUBE IS PEACEFUL!”

I thumped him on the back a few times, activating my breaker gauntlet to really get his attention. The blue energy bursts splashed against his body, causing no harm or damage. “No, you’re not, Cube. You’re talking to yourself and can't tell that I’m real.”

Almost instantly, I was engulfed in liquid metal and plucked away from the side of my former pet. He hauled me around in front of himself and closer to his huge, cavernous mouth.

“TYSON GONE!” He repeated emphatically, his voice warbling a bit with the liquid metal of his tongue carrying it to me.

“NO!” I yelled back, suddenly afraid he would swallow me on a reflex. Cube was clearly not in full control of his mind. “I came back, buddy! I came back! It’s me, it’s Tyson and now that I’ve found you you’re going to be okay again!”

“CUBE IS . . . CUBE IS FINE!” he insisted.

I splashed in his tongue with my limbs. “Do you feel that!?” I yelled.

“CUBE FEELS! TYSON GONE, YOU NOT TYSON!” he yelled next.

“Buddy, you gotta remember my voice,” I replied. “Slow down, think carefully, and tell me who I am.”

“Tyson,” he said immediately, in a small voice. Then he paused and his entire body rippled. “TYSON GONE! CAN’T FIND TYSON, TYSON GONE!”

“I was trapped, Cube! I was trapped in deep space, just like you! That’s why I was gone, but I escaped and came back,” I frantically explained. “I’m not a voice, Cube. I’m your Tyson and I’ve come back to find you!”

My pet hesitated at that. “Tyson . . . trapped?” he finally asked.

“I was trapped buddy, yes! Trapped just like you, someone threw me away into space,” I told him. “But I came back! I came back for you!”

“TYSON CAME BACK?” he roared in excitement. “TYSON!”

“Yes Cube! I’m here buddy, I came to save you!” I exclaimed, fighting back tears. “I came back for you!”

“TYSON SAVE CUBE!” he shouted. “TYSON SAVE CUBE!”

I sighed in relief as he retracted his tongue and let me go.

Once he accepted that I was really there, and not a voice in his mind, the effort to rescue Cube grew significantly easier. I reported in and then spent a few hours talking to Cube and making sure he understood what was happening to him. The truth was that Cubes were intelligent creatures, especially the bigger ones.

They could understand a lot, if anyone had the patience to work with them and explain things clearly. He terrified the crew of the Pykrete when he reached out his tongue to explore and understand the ship. That was going to hurt in the hazard pay when we got back, but I felt certain I could rely on Justin’s House of None to help me foot the bill if needed.

My gigantic pet was ecstatic. I explained calmly to the crew while he gently tongued over the entire ship that he was merely making himself feel secure by ensuring the ships were not there to hurt him or make him feel worse. They weren’t likely to understand the complex combination of emotions that led a Cube to an insecure state, coupled with the trauma of decades in darkness, alone.

Really we had gotten lucky that Cube was as smart as he was. I was going to have to really work with some expert exotic animal handlers before any further expeditions could go out. Preferably those with clinical psychology framing in their education or associate background.

Either that or buy a ship that could transport a Cube without actually touching it.

Once both of our ships had passed his vibe check, Cube tucked his tongue back in his mouth and awaited contact from me. I spoke to him and prepared him for every step in the process of his retrieval.

First the Pykrete opened its net bay. The entire front end of the oversized parallelogram split from just below the bridge, down to the embarkation entry ramp. Deployed like that, the ship would be unable to make planetfall without burning up in the atmosphere of even thin-skinned planets. Once fully open, with its doors in a slanted gullwing formation, the ship's gigantic amount of carefully packed netting began to deploy. They formed a cotton ball of webs beneath the ship's belly before carefully moving away from one another as the arms began manipulating them.

Long sections of the net were connected directly to the ships control mechanism by electricity-manipulated fabric. When the ship provided a charge to it, the rigging would stiffen and wrap around itself, becoming rod-straight and rigid. With careful manipulations of the delicate armature, our net-handlers would get Cube ensnared.

I helped by hand, of course. Over the next two days I spent thirty-seven hours working in space. My job was to keep Cube calm and informed, so I spent a great deal of time leaning on his back, talking to him while we spun through the void. He adored the interaction and attention, and the more we talked the healthier he began to sound.

Once the netting was secure on his corners, the Pykrete began to draw him in. The netting had been designed for ice comets or broken up clusters of them. Water was water, and the ship had been designed with several shapes and sizes of ice in mind.

With the netting firmly in place and tightened up to the belly of the ship, we were ready to return to the BuyMort gate. The Pykrete began an agonizingly slow turn with its cargo attached, but all attention was diverted when Cube shouted “HELLO NEW FRIENDS!” into the Pykrete. After that, we had all new problems with the crew.

Cube could hear everything they said. Every suspicion or complaint about him was something else I had to explain to him, and it wasn’t long before I called a halt to our movement and ordered the netting loosened.

We got him far enough away from the ship and crew to start smoothing the situation and let the netting go soft. Without its rigidity the sound didn’t carry far enough to reach him. I went out and worked with Cube immediately, and left poor Shoshanna to explain to the crew they had to watch their mouths around the giant liquid metal box attached to our ship’s belly.

More complaints, more unexpected issues. I lamented my lack of foresight, I really had just been focused on how this expedition could aid me personally. Shoshanna handled herself amazingly. She kept herself upbeat and matter of fact, becoming stern but kind with the crew when needed.

Animal interaction was listed in their contracts as a possible duty, so we were able to tell them what to say and not say or they were in breach of said contracts. With the hazard pay most of them were expecting to collect, none of them wanted to risk breaching their work contract with us.

Shoshanna and I talked during small breaks I took from consoling Cube and reassuring him that the new people would grow to like him if they could see past their own fear. It became necessary to explain to the animal why his behavior frightened people who were so much physically smaller than he was. He struggled to keep that concept at the forefront of his mind.

Eventually, after another few hours of discussion on both ends, I convinced Cube to give it another try. Once we reconnected with the ship, Cube shyly said “Hello,” in a small voice. I immediately congratulated him and reentered the ship.

The crew was primarily silent, but a few smattered “Hellos” returned from them. One of the net-handlers said, “Nice to meet you, Cube,” while working to finalize the net formation.

Cube was silent, sulking as he nursed hurt feelings. The crew stayed far more quiet than they had before, but occasionally shared a few careful words with my pet.

I happily coached anyone who had any questions about how to interact with him, making sure they understood that he could hear us before I started. By keeping the interactions friendly and calm, Cube started to relax and understand what made each crew member nervous. Out of desire to interact more, he was very careful to avoid each crew member’s specific fear triggers while growing his interactivity.

In the handful of hours our ship took to finish its turn, he was already effectively learning and retaining a complex web of knowledge about several crew members. After he had effectively assuaged our crew’s concerns, some of them even started to like him.

We jumped to FTL as a fleet, expecting four days, thirteen hours travel time to Neolithic Earth’s gate. The crew was prepared, and none of them mentioned how easy it would be for Cube to eat our ship, connected to his back the way we were. Mostly because I had told them that every time they did mention that Cube would be reminded of the possibility, and would have to convince himself that eating our ship was a bad thing to do.

The nicer the crew was to him, the more likely he was to make that decision in everyone on board’s favor.

Our netting and shields ensured that he came with us when we jumped, and his bulk was carried along by the warped bubble of space we coasted on. I smiled as the faint galaxy in the distance grew in brightness. Despite everything, life really hadn’t been a hard reset since waking up. My future was starting to form.


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