BuyMort: Rise of the Windowpuncher - How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona. Apocalyptic GameLit

Chapter 35



Our cargo and net-handling team was hired to use the Pykrete’s manipulator arms and gargantuan, self-folding nets. They had the best contract of all. Only as-needed maintenance work until the day we found Cube. At that point they would be required to use the machinery needed to attach him to the ship.

The Pykete did indeed have a mouth, and it opened wide for ice mining. The front end of the ship would split apart, opening gull-wing style while the guts of the ship deployed. Eight long, loose-jointed mechanical arms worked to net up the ship’s payload and hug it in close to the hull, at which point the ice could be hauled via the ship’s FTL drive.

Shoshanna very cleverly saw the ship’s application for picking up oversized Cubes. From what I had heard of Cube, he was going to be significantly bigger than us, but the Pykrete was capable of hauling ice loads so massive that the ship itself looked like a large tick, dug into the glacier’s sides. According to the sales page, anyway.

The only downside was slow turning once loaded.

Shoshanna also hired a doctor and a janitor for the expedition. Neither of them were accredited the way we would have liked, but I felt confident they knew what they were doing at least.

Once all the repairs, refitting, and hiring was complete, we had a week left. I spent it with Molly, partying and lounging in equal measure. She was working on the next fundraiser but kept complaining about the numbers because of my absence. The dinner would be happening during the expedition, so without expensive portal use that would wipe out any gains, I wouldn’t be able to attend.

Ever helpful, a BuyMort ad rose to my aid.

"Make Your Next Event Unforgettable!"

Elite Event Planners - Boost Your Success!

Images of grand venues and holographic projections filled my mind, each more opulent than the last.

Celebrity Holo-Guest Appearances:

I envisioned a grand ballroom filled with elegantly dressed guests. The lights dimmed, and a soft, ethereal glow illuminated the center of the room. Suddenly, life-sized holographic projections of famous personalities, past and present, materialized, their presence so lifelike it was as if they were truly there. The holograms moved and spoke with perfect clarity, their voices warm with genuine emotion and inflection as they greeted guests, delivered speeches, danced and performed.

The projections even interacted with the attendees, responding to questions and engaging in real-time dialogue.

It was an impressive sight. The holographic technology was powerful stuff, with crystal-clear visuals and precise movements, making it nearly impossible to distinguish the projections from the real thing.

"Can't make it in person? No problem! Our cutting-edge holographic projections let you be there without being there. Packages start at 150,000,000 Morties!"

Luxury Venue Partnerships:

Next, scenes of exquisite locations played out. I found myself transported to a series of stunning venues, each more breathtaking than the last. I stood in a palatial ballroom with marble floors and opulent chandeliers, their crystal facets casting a dazzling array of lights. The space was filled with rich, velvet drapes and gold-accented furniture, evoking a sense of timeless elegance. Then, I imagined a serene beachfront venue, where a pavilion stood on the edge of turquoise waters. The sound of gentle waves complemented the setting sun's warm hues, creating a perfect backdrop for a sophisticated soirée. Finally, a modern rooftop garden came into view, complete with lush greenery, twinkling fairy lights, and a panoramic view of a vibrant cityscape below. The air was filled with the scent of fresh flowers, and a sleek bar offered bespoke cocktails. These venues were available at exclusive discounts, each location tailored to different tastes and styles, yet all guaranteed to provide an unforgettable setting for any event.

"Secure the best venues for your event, with exclusive discounts for Elite Event Planners affiliates. Booking fees as low as 300,000 Morties!"

Event Marketing Blitz:

A rush of vibrant images and catchy slogans flooded my mental space as BuyMort presented the ad option for my consideration. Brightly colored ads for the upcoming fundraiser flashed before me, accompanied by upbeat music that pounded and beat with such force that it shook my eyes. Banners filled with clever taglines and eye-catching graphics promised an evening of elegance and excitement, appearing in a variety of organic means beyond the reach of BuyMort itself, such as in sleek digital billboards overlooking bustling city streets, or as posters plastered over the walls of buildings and over street signs.

"Make a splash with targeted advertising across all platforms. Comprehensive campaign packages start at 500,000 Morties!"

Make your fundraiser a resounding success. Elite Event Planners - Where Every Event Shines!

“Think of it as a midway fundraiser, Molly,” I told her one evening. “Something that keeps us going, it could help resupply both ships if the expedition runs long. It’s certainly not worthless just because it’s a smaller event.”

She was lounging by the pool in her bikini, playing on her phone and pouting. “But it's all because you can’t be there!” she grumped. “Kinda hurts my ego, knowing I can’t really throw a great fundraiser without a major celebrity presence.”

“Are you kidding me,” I asked, sliding on the lounge chair beside her and pressing our hips together. She gave me a heavy-lidded smile before turning back to her phone. “Have you seen the gossip rags? You’re more famous than me right now.”

She bumped me with her hips. “Don’t poke fun. I am not,” Molly pouted. “And I’m only famous ‘cause I’m dating you anyway.”

I shook my head. “Not true, I saw a great expose on your work as CFO just last night on SSN.”

“Silken Sands News?” she asked. “Really?”

While she pulled up the video, I comforted her with a back rub. That led to sex in the pool shed, and when a hotel employee caught us walking out of the shed, we had to pay a small fine in order to keep our room. Molly grinned impishly the entire time.

A week later, on the tarmac in front of the Pykrete, Molly broke up with me.

She explained that a month apart was a long time, and she was starting to feel like we had run our course. Best to keep things light, she told me, before leaning up for a final kiss in front of Shoshanna. I smiled and agreed, feeling a substantial bit of relief.

Which lasted until I looked over and saw the way Shoshanna was staring at us.

The ship’s launch was a quiet affair. Molly hadn’t planned any big send off party for us, given the fact that she was planning to break up with me. And what small press there was seemed barely interested.

Still, Shoshanna made a small speech in front of the crew, which was recorded and broadcast across our social media pages. I shook off Molly’s departure quickly, needing to put on a good face for the speech. And to my surprise, Shoshanna actually inspired me.

She spoke about the nature of our relationship with other species, and how being part of BuyMort can sometimes lead to unfortunate outcomes. The plight of the Cubes was that they were cast into eternal darkness for the crime of being annoying. Or too big.

The history of Cubes being discarded into deep space was one of our system’s primary points of shame, Shoshanna insisted. A part of our shared history that we were duty-bound and compelled to make right.

That day I started looking at her in a new light. I’d understood that she was dedicated, but I’d ignored her intellect because of the socialite affectations. There was definitely a strange relationship between her and her friend Molly, but that wasn’t something I cared about much.

People were always strange, no matter what level you interacted with them on. Shoshanna cared. That was rare in BuyMort.

After Shoshanna’s speech, we boarded the ship and got our liftoff countdown going. The first step on our journey was to use the hydrogen rockets, which caused a lot of smoke and fire in-atmosphere, to get to Prescott and land on one of the space elevator’s external platforms. We’d paid a premium to avoid having to do a full liftoff from LAS into orbit. That would have been absurdly expensive, even with the rocket's insane fuel efficiency.

So the first liftoff was a violent leap. The rockets fired and slowly lifted us into the air, before they cut out and we began plummeting back to Nu-Earth. On the descent, our pilot fired the rockets again to land us. The companion ship had calculated the jump for us, and we saved seventy-percent of the fuel it would have cost us to leave the planet’s gravity well completely.

The ship was refueled as we waited our turn on the space elevator, and then we all gathered around the viewports to watch ourselves rise into the sky as the elevator platform began to lift. Nu-Earth’s twinkling cities shrank until they vanished.

Once in orbit, with our companion craft at our sides, we joined the line of ships heading from Nu-Earth to the Jupiter gate. When our turn came around, the Bubble Drive got activated and the stars streaked on the view screens.

We all sat in transport seats, until the FTL jump was in process. Then we could cut free and float around the ship. It didn’t feature any kind of gravity control, being a utility craft. The companion ship had gravity, but traveling between the two ships would be a major difficulty for anyone but me.

Once we were in transit to the Jupiter gate, I joined Shoshanna on the bridge. Our captain and pilot were on duty up there, but otherwise the low-ceilinged room was empty. We ran a skeleton crew and so much of the ship felt empty once everyone had gone to their separate areas.

The net-handling crew went to familiarize themselves with the ship’s workings, through a series of training programs complete with sims. Security took their jobs seriously and got started. One was on constant patrol of the ship, and the other resting. Both hobbs would work twelve hour shifts, until we were finished.

The documentary crew consisted of two humans. A cameraman, and an attractive woman who acted as host. Both of them seemed excited to be there, but neither of them was happy about the state of the ship. It was far more dingy than they had been expecting.

Our new mechanics went straight to their cabin for some FTL lovemaking in zero-g. I know because they were loud, and sound carried unfortunately well in the crew compartments. I’d gone through it on my way to the bridge and overheard them.

I settled into a mindset of patience once we were on our way. The month the expedition had been building, it wasn’t really real for me. Once the ship took off, I knew I was committed. I didn’t have the funds to go jumping around the multiverse with portals anymore, and Terna could only float me so much.

The Pykrete was my only ticket home, barring some emergency or disaster.

Shoshanna’s first ship, the Navigator, followed in our wake. Its FTL was more capable than ours, so it was easier to follow us until we reached our search area.

An hour later, we reached the BuyMort gate. Our captain doubled as the pilot’s replacement, which meant occasionally he was going to be drunk on the bridge. It was something I had known was going to happen, but it still irked me when he raised a whiskey pouch to the gate as it was our turn, before everything became rainbow lights. Thankfully the pilot was still handling navigation, even if he wore heavy headphones at all times and avoided eye contact.

We arrived in orbit of Brhaspati, in the Neolithic Earth solar system. They called theirs the Utu solar system, and their Jupiter was named Brhaspati. Their gate had some significant differences from our own as well.

First and foremost was the military satellite that floated alongside, bristling with weaponry and surrounded by a small swarm of active fighter craft. The small ships acted as border control, scanning each arriving ship and checking their manifests before allowing them to pass.

Our drunken captain engaged with the fighter assigned to our ship when they beamed a comm request at us. He confirmed that our mission took us into the gulf between galaxies. We confirmed that we would be going out of range of help, and that we accepted the risks therein. Once cleared, the pilot set our next jump program in motion with a single button.

Both ships in our fleet, the Navigator and the Pykrete, shifted in space. They turned until they were facing exactly the same direction, and then we streaked away. The Navigator fed us map data from its computers, active scanning as we traveled to ensure we stayed on course.

The next several days were going to be spent in FTL travel, so I focused on Shoshanna for the rest of the day. She was interesting, in a blissfully happy state for the start of the journey. I first found her on the bridge, wedged in the slit of a portal we had. Her leg dangled from the center of the T-shaped window, and she smiled up at the streaking stars.

“Oh Tyson,” she exclaimed as I approached. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

I nodded and smiled, floating in and gripping the other side of the T. My movement in zero-g was comfortable and easy. The rest of the crew needed gravity boots, or to use the many handrails all over the ship. “It is. A bit slow for my tastes, but beautiful.”

She smiled back, showing teeth as she grinned. “We can’t all travel via gravity haul. FTL is already at maximum.”

I nodded again. “Yeah. It is pretty exciting to be finally getting out here. Looking for him.”

Shoshanna stared at me for a few minutes as I gazed at the stars. “You miss him, don’t you?” she finally asked.

“I do,” I replied. “I’m not sure why, really. But I miss my friends. My family. Feels like this is one I can actually get back.”

She grinned as she noticed the camera man behind us, recording our conversation.

“I love that you call him family,” Shoshanna whispered. “It’s how I grew up imagining the two of you.”

“Cube was with us from the start, from the campground. We bought him not knowing any better, just needed an electrical hookup for the park. But soon he was powering all of Prescott and fighting beholders with us. It all feels so recent. I barely got to know him for a year, maybe a few months more,” I reminisced.

“But you went through so much together,” Shoshanna replied, reaching out to touch my arm. “Those memories are important. I’m really glad we’re going to make this right, together.”


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