But… It’s me! The real Spider-Man!

In the morning, after having had breakfast with the soup Aunt May had prepared yesterday, I decided it was time to honor the school with my presence. Besides the fact that it was my duty as a student, I had another motive: there was a good chance that this Spiderwoman had gotten her powers on the ill-fated field trip I had missed, and therefore might be in my school or even in the same class as me.

I was safely late for the school bus, so I was about to walk, but before I was ten meters from the house, a car pulled up next to me.

Oh, no! I recognize that sports car. Flash fucking Thompson. I instinctively turned away so as not to provoke the bully. Conditioned reflex, damn it! No, no, no, I didn't have to go through all the shit that happened in my past life to be afraid of Flash Thompson again! Don't even think about it, jock. There's gonna be a war!

"Hey, Peter," came a woman's voice from the car, "missed the bus again? I can give you a ride."

I was petrified. Oh, right, Peter's memories of his life had come back to me, but why didn't I remember that? This world is crazy. Flash Thompson is a woman. Now that I saw him in person, I began to remember: this... This Flash, though as arrogant and cruel as her counterpart in my world, had never been aggressive toward Peter. In fact, whenever she saw Peter walking to school, Flash would stop and give him a ride. Nonsense! Flash Thompson is being friendly with Peter Parker. It's wild to me, but it's a fact.

I got in the car, and to my shame I was relieved that there would be no confrontation.

"You've been absent for half a month again," the girl said, cheerfully, even with a touch of envy or admiration, and, without waiting for an answer, continued, "I don't blame you. What did you do this time? Come up with some cool new scientific thing?"

And she was well aware of Peter's past, I noticed with surprise. Immediately she tried to move the conversation to an interesting topic, because otherwise the past me would have ignored her. Not that Flash was ever embarrassed by that. If she couldn't get Peter to talk, she wasn't offended and just kept talking about something herself.

"Finalizing the last article," I replied, without going into detail.

At least Flash certainly can't be Spiderwoman - different build. I got a good look at that upstart yesterday. She should be about my height and build, too, but Flash is much more massive, especially in the chest area.

Which of my other classmates had a sex change?

The thought seemed so strange, even shocking. But I couldn't remember... I didn't notice at once, but the memory of this life came back to me as needed: in the morning, when I arrived home, I remembered myself; when I met Aunt May, I remembered my family; now I saw Flash and remembered, too.

At school, Flash had lost interest in me, for she had met her friends, or rather handmaidens. I was only glad of that. The last thing I wanted was to be lurking around with Flash Thompson, even if he had become a wench and acquired a pretty face and an impressive figure.

"Parker," they called at the front of the classroom.

I turned at the sound. Behind me stood a tall woman in a suit and glasses. Jukka Sarasti, a physics teacher who had recently taken a job at our school.

"Come with me, Parker, the principal wants to see you." Not only did the woman have a commanding voice that you wanted to obey without objection, she also took me by the forearm to accompany me.

I remembered that Yucca had always been like that. Even the other teachers and principal rarely dared to object to this woman. She was probably the only woman Peter knew who showed no piety toward boys (and me in particular).

With raised eyebrows, I looked first at her hand invading my personal space, and then into her eyes. You could have grabbed me by the collar, too! But the woman wasn't embarrassed. There was a backpack hanging on that shoulder, which I took advantage of to get rid of Jukka's grip by dropping the strap right onto the woman's wrist.

"That was unnecessary. I could find my way to the principal's office."

Sarasti didn't answer, just watched quietly as I walked into the still almost empty classroom and left my backpack behind. She came with me to the principal's office, keeping a little behind me, like a guard, but she didn't go inside. Only watched, as if I was going to run away!

The headmistress was a good-natured, overweight woman in her fifties. She personally taught half of the teachers now working in the school, and always found common ground with his charges. I never saw her yell at anyone.

"Peter," the headmistress always smiled a little when she addressed me, but this time she appeared demonstrably serious, "I understand that the school curriculum isn't of interest to you, but you can't be absent from class for weeks at a time. We don't have free attendance, we're responsible for the students. What if something happened to you?"

It's worth explaining why the school tolerated Peter's constant absences in the first place. It's all about prestige. Even though men are required to get a general education, in reality most boys show no interest in learning. Everything they need to do to get along in life has already been done for them by nature - by giving them a penis. That may sound harsh, but let's face it, it is. Peter Parker, for all his laziness and apathy, looked good against the ubiquity of such slackers. From time to time he took part in scientific activities, and it brought prestige to the school.

I grinned. You should know what had happened to me in the past week. I was pretty damn close to ending up in the police station, and then it would get bad for everyone. Both the school that hadn't noticed the long absence, and Aunt May, who was legally required to live in the same house as me as a guardian.

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Principal. I'm thinking of graduating with an externship. You see, in working on my research I crossed paths with Dr. Connors' work. I'm thinking of getting a job with her as a lab technician for convenience, so I can take classes at the university... Or going straight there, I haven't decided yet."

As I spoke, the good-natured expression on the principal's face changed first to astonished, and then there were traces of discontent.

"Peter..." she began cautiously, "this is a serious decision, you shouldn't make it so hastily. Think about it, because school isn't just lessons. It's also about socializing with your peers..."

The headmistress was always good at sensing the mood of her interlocutor, and now, before she had even finished her sentence, she realized that she had chosen the wrong direction.

"But you know, since your research is so important to you, I think we could find a compromise. Besides, you know, early exams are a very complicated bureaucratic procedure, and it would take a long time."

"What do you mean by compromise?" I ask with interest.

"Well, Dr. Connors is a decent woman, I don't think she'd let anything happen to you while you were working. And the school, if you don't disappear for months, might turn a blind eye to a couple of absences a week..."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Or three or four. Just don't disappear for as long as you did last time," the woman finally gave in.

"I think that's fine with me."

"That's good," the principal replied with a professional smile, "go back to class."

So we agreed. The school gets its dividends, because for two more years all my achievements will have a positive impact on the prestige of the school, and I get free attendance with a minimum of problems and obligations. Unexpected, but useful. For although I hadn't thought about it beforehand, I didn't lie a word. I do plan to get in touch with Connors in the near future, thankfully there is an excuse - her work with my father.

As I walked toward the physics lab, I saw her. Mary Jane Watson. It took my breath away for a second, just as it had when we first met. No, she seemed even more beautiful than before. Worlds change, but something stays the same.

M.J. turned around, as if she sensed my gaze, and smiled to meet my eyes.

"Hey, Peter," she said nonchalantly, "I haven't seen you in a while."

"Um, yeah... I've been working," I stammered back.

What's the matter with you? Pull yourself together, you wimp! Yeah, it's Mary Jane, so what? You're not sixteen years old, and you weren't even married for very long before the world crisis ruined your life.

"Hello, Mary Jane," I continued, gathering my thoughts, "I've just finished some research."

She almost kept her face, but her eyes betrayed surprise. In all that time you could count on the fingers the last time Peter had said anything other than "yes" or "aha" to Mary Jane in response to a greeting. Hell, this guy seemed to be free of love and the effects of hormones on the brain.

"You must have been studying something terribly complicated and important," the girl suggested, "you missed a pretty interesting field trip, by the way, there were all kinds of spiders there, I think you would have liked it."

Why did she mention that?

Come to think of it, Mary Jane has the same physique as Spiderwoman. She can't be... But using her ability for showbiz fame... Damn, that sounds so much like Mary Jane!

"Yeah, I heard about that. So how did it go on the tour?" I'll try to ask her a little discreetly.

"It was fine. Almost without incident," Mary Jane shrugged her shoulders.

"Almost?" I've been catching on to that caveat.

"Well, you know, Liz is afraid of insects, and Flash got bored with spiders fast. Turns out she dragged a toy spider on a rope and tossed it behind Liz's collar. An eerie scream went up, but it was fun."

"So," Flash was being emphatically friendly with Peter, but she teased and even humiliated the girls from time to time, "no one got bitten?" I asked with a smile toward the end, as if in jest.

"Ha ha, no," MJ laughed, "shall we go to class?"

"Yes, yes, of course.

After all, Mary Jane might not have noticed someone getting bitten by a spider, or she just wouldn't tell me.

The physics class was already crowded, and my appearance, contrary to my fears, did not attract everyone's attention.

In fact, it was a good idea for MJ and me to sit next to each other. We could have continued to chat during class, but my memory told me that the girl would be headed to her friends. In fact, there were no other guys in class so far, and I felt a little uncomfortable looking at a dozen girls I didn't know-all of them were male in my past world.

"Oh," Mary Jane moaned, "there's this stupid test this morning... I don't understand physics at all."

This is an opportunity! You've got to take it!

"I could give you a hint," I suggested cautiously, "come sit next to me."

"But teacher," MJ began, "though that might work with Sarastee, she doesn't care about anyone. Peter, would you really do that for me?"

"Yeah, why not," I answered calmly, inwardly rejoicing.

Just when I thought about sitting next to M.J., the universe threw me a chance. Not bad, not bad, maybe it's just compensation for past failures.

"Osborne," Flash's voice reached me. The girl jumped off the desk she was sitting on and went to the door.

I chilled inwardly, afraid to turn around. What if Harry became a girl, too? Or even... What if Harry Osborne is a Spiderwoman?! No, please, no.

Gathering my strength, I did look back, just in time to see Flash Thompson briefly kiss Harry Osborne on the lips.

Fuck! This is too much for me! How crazy can this world be!