LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 6 – First identity crisis
Having finished their barbecue, Sophia and her big, wolf-like friend Fen enjoyed some after-meal relaxation. The sun was entirely gone by now, having turned the entire area pitch black. The only illumination was the fire in front of them, the countless stars, and something else the girl was staring at now.
"Two moons, huh…?" Facing the sky, she stated her newest observation.
"Your old world didn't have any moons?"
"Just one." She shook her head.
"Oh, that must be an impressive sight, then." Fen could only imagine how she was feeling.
"It's something, yeah… very fantasy-like. Although, those planets during daytime were much more impressive." She remembered the two colorful orbs the girl saw in the sky when she first arrived in the world.
"I suppose."
"I'm really in a different world, huh…?" Because it was one thing after another today, Sophia only now had time to think about it again.
"So it seems."
"Hey, Fen… what's this world like…?" She sounded unexpectedly serious as she faced him.
"Hmm…" He gave the question some thought after noticing that Sophia seemed anxious. "I think it's a good world."
"How so?"
"Let's see. There are lots of interesting places to see and explore. I'm also a fan of all the food, running around, and staying fresh for me. You can do whatever you want, and the magic's the absolute best."
"Is that so…?" She wasn't that content with his answer. "What about the people?"
"That's a tough one-" He turned silent for a moment. "I'm honestly not fond of humans because they tried to hunt me down, attacking me in every possible situation. Well, it was nothing more than a nuisance to me because they were no threat whatsoever. It was still rather annoying. Not to mention their attitude is… just wow… Though I finally found an exception." He took a glance at Sophia before continuing. "The beastpeople, on the other hand, are quite the fun bunch to be around. They never tried to attack me and even seemed to be rather fond of me for some reason. They also gave me lots of good food on many occasions when they saw me."
"Well, of course. You're probably some sort of deity for them." Sophia wasn't sure what the beastpeople were like. Still, they probably would worship a mythical being (tentative) like Fen from their name alone.
"Did you say something?" He hadn't quite caught her mumbling.
"Ah, no… please continue." She didn't want him to know.
"If you want to visit a town, I really recommend a beastfolk one. They build interesting places, and you'll have a great time with them."
"What about human settlements? Theoretically speaking, I'm one of them, after all…"
"Right, with you being… you, that tends to slip my mind after around three seconds." Fen saw Sophia as an exception and an entirely different being from the inferior humans he used to be in conflict with in the past. "I'm not sure. I never went to a human city for the sake of sightseeing. Well, I destroyed one or two in revenge… or 17, but I hadn't paid attention to what these places were like during those times."
"I've made a rather peculiar friend." She had to make sure never to get on his bad side.
"I want to say the same." The wolf nodded in agreement.
"A beastfolk town, huh?" Sophia thought about his recommendation. "Can I even visit them? Being human or whatever, in the end, I'm still from a different race."
"Sure, as long as you don't intend to harm them, they're a very welcoming race. Humans, on the other hand, they're known for racism, though."
"Humans again. I'm not sure anymore whether they're really that bad in this world or if you simply hate them with a passion."
"50:50." He didn't hesitate at all. "Were the humans in your old world different, Sophia? Being a conflict-less, peaceful, and sensible race?"
"Ah… uh… well… umm… that's… hmm…" It was impossible for her to give him an answer to that. "A-Are there any cities nearby?" She decided to drop the topic.
"Let me think… I mentioned before, but a human one is a couple of days, maybe a week, away from here. For beastfolk… hmm, yeah, that's even a little bit further away from the humans."
"We really are in the middle of nowhere, huh?"
"Well, the country we are in right now is filled with and ruled by monsters, after all. Mostly mighty ones, on top. The weaker humanoid races won't dare to set foot in this place if they value their lives even a little."
"I-Is that so…? Just what was that god thinking, dropping me here with absolutely nothing around? Wait, filled with strong monsters? Apart from you and some seriously creepy slimes, I haven't seen many monsters, if at all, Fen. Ah, ignoring the cow, uhh, kow, I mean."
"That's only natural. Most monsters can sense magical powers and instinctively avoid other beings with much bigger powers than their own. There are usually a few more monsters with just me present around, but traveling together with Sophia, our combined powers most likely drove out all of them in a ten-plus-kilometer radius around us. Some, mostly beings with little to no intelligence, like slimes or kows, are unable to sense it, though."
"Ah, so that's how it is." It became even clearer that she hasn't much in common with humans anymore.
"If a normal person were to enter this place, they would be flooded by a ton of monsters from all directions in a matter of seconds. Needless to say, it wouldn't end well for them."
"I-I see…" Sophia had a hard way wrapping her head around just how outrageous this place is.
"Enough about this world for now. You'll see the truth soon enough, after all. No need to spoil the, let's say, fun." Fen was sure it would be a much better learning experience for the girl to experience it with her own eyes. "What about you, Sophia?"
"What about me?"
"All this talking about another world made me curious. Just who are you, really?"
"… Who am I, indeed…?" Her voice instantly lost its power.
"Eh?" The wolf hadn't expected such a cryptic response.
"I have no idea what I am… who I am anymore…" Sophia seemed lost. "I know who I used to be, but I have no idea what I have become."
"That's…" Fen was taken aback by her answer, unsure how to react.
"Back in my old world, I told you I used to be extremely shy and introverted for a long time. Forget having longer conversations. I could barely speak to people at all, especially other women… I rarely had fun with anything, being on the depressed side most of the time, even. I've spent most of my time reading or doing some kind of sports, alone of course, or at best with my sister… I don't think I had a single person I could've called a friend at the moment I was transported to this world…" Sophia was talking about her past with her voice filled with self-loathing.
"…" He didn't know what to say.
"It doesn't sound like the me you got to know here, huh?"
"No, it doesn't."
"That's why I really have no idea who I am now." Sophia was in the middle of the most literal existential crisis possible.
"…" Fen still had no reassuring words for her, so he decided to say nothing at all.
"Don't get me wrong, it may have only been a day yet, but I like the new me better already. Before, there would've been NO way for us to have become friends. It's just, well…"
"Just…?" The wolf tilted his huge head to the side.
"Am I… even still me…? Or have I become a different person entirely…? When he brought me to this world, that god said he would boost my stats… Apparently, this also included my personality traits, but-"
"Hmm-" He closed his eyes for a moment. "I think, fundamentally, you're still you, Sophia. The overseer probably simply brought out your potential for becoming the person you wanted to be all along." Fen remembered how she acted so embarrassed earlier when he praised her enough. "Yes, I'm certain you're still yourself. Just think of it as progress. The all improved and better, ultimate form of Sophia, basically."
"Haha, what's that supposed to mean~?" Feeling a little relieved by his explanation, she let out a short giggle. His interesting conclusion made her feel better quite a bit. "Haa~" Yawning, Sophia noticed that she had gotten tired, becoming even more aware of it once the feeling of relief had washed away the tension in her body. "Do you mind if I sleep for a while, Fen? It was a long day for me, and I'm completely drained…"
"No, of course not. Feel free to get some rest. I'll watch out in the meantime."
"Thank you…" Barely after that, Sophia leaned against his fluffy body, immediately falling asleep.
"Sure, go ahead, no problem." Fen rolled his eyes and watched her for a good while before looking at the sky. "Canir… just what have you done to this girl…? More importantly, what are you planning? I know you tend to get bored, but this…?" He wasn't expecting an answer, and so, after a few moments, he lowered his head, placing it on his paws, and rested a bit as well.
