Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Rewrite
I read some feedback and rewrote the novel to clean it up. I hope it fixed some of them especially the chapters of Ruby. The story is still the same, I just added more details to the simulation gems and some areas. Tell me if there are still some errors or if there are plot holes, and I will try to fix them.
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The man blinked his eyes open, confused. The room was unfamiliar - a cluttered mess of garbage bags and water bottles. He sat up, his head pounding, and surveyed his surroundings.
"What the..." he muttered, running a hand through his unkempt hair. The apartment was in shambles, with supplies haphazardly strewn about. He swung his legs over the bed, wincing as his bare feet touched the floor.
Cautiously, he stood and began to explore the small space. Crumpled wrappers and empty containers littered every surface. It seemed the previous occupant had been hoarding necessities, but the place was in total disarray.
His brow furrowed as he tried to remember. He recalled walking home, then darkness. Rubbing his temples, he struggled to make sense of this.
He headed to the bathroom, his throat dry. Gulping down water, he glanced up at the mirror. Staring back was not his face, but a stranger's. He leaned in, examining the unfamiliar features.
"What the hell is going on?" he muttered, confused and uneasy. He ran a hand over the stubble, the gesture feeling both natural and foreign.
Stepping back, he collected his thoughts. If this wasn't his body, then where was he? And how did he end up here? The questions swirled, but answers eluded him.
The man's head throbbed with sudden, piercing pain. He squeezed his eyes shut, as a flood of unfamiliar memories surged through his mind. Flashes of a different life, a different world, played out behind his eyelids - towering walls, monsters, and humans wielding incredible powers. Amid this fantastical vision, a new identity emerged - Sam Briar, an aspiring simulation developer.
The headache subsided, leaving him breathless but strangely enlightened. Sam stared at the stranger in the mirror, the unfamiliar face still unsettling. But the memories now felt like his own - a world where humans live behind walls, defending against monsters.
Sam lived in Jade City, a rapidly advancing urban center. The city's skyline was dominated by towering skyscrapers, each a marvel of architecture that blended cutting-edge science with enchanting magic.
This world blended magic and technology, far from his old life. Humanity had advanced, building fortified cities and harnessing incredible powers. Yet, the ever-present threat of monsters loomed, forcing people to stay vigilant.
To combat these threats, a new profession has emerged: Hunters. These brave individuals dedicate their lives to pursuing monsters, risking their lives to earn money and gain various benefits, including fame and power. They are classified into a Rank System that grades them from A to E, with A being the strongest rank and E the weakest. This ranking is based on the Hunter's strength and their Mana capacity.
Sam is intrigued by the world of Hunters and Developers. He learns that Hunters utilize "Simulations"—advanced virtual reality environments where they can hone their skills and acquire powerful weapons. The people who develop these simulations are called Developers.
Developers are classified into a Rank System that ranges from A to E. Rank A represents the best and most highly respected developers, while Rank E consists of new and inexperienced developers. This system reflects the skill and expertise of these individuals in creating immersive and effective training simulations for Hunters.
Sam is one of the developers responsible for creating these Simulations, the advanced virtual reality environments used by Hunters to hone their skills. Though a recent graduate, his lack of creativity has hindered his progress in the field. As a result, he struggles to find success and is barely getting by.
He is fascinated by these advanced simulations. They remind him of the virtual reality games he played before, but are far more immersive. Users have full range of motion, making it feel like truly living in that world. Unlike the limiting VR of his old life, this simulation offers a deeply immersive experience - akin to the NerveGear from "Sword Art Online," but even more sophisticated with magical technology.
Sam approached the futuristic computer in the corner. He marveled at the advanced technology, running his fingers over the smooth, touchscreen surface. This was far beyond anything he had used before.
Sitting down, Sam powered on the device, watching as holographic displays sprang to life around him. He navigated through the menus, searching for the simulation marketplace.
Sam scrolled through the E Rank simulations, looking for one that was beginner-friendly. The rankings went from A to E, with A being the highest and E the lowest. The higher the rank, the stronger the enemies.
He paused on a simulation that caught his eye. "Goblin Slayer: A sword-based combat simulation for novice users. Defeat waves of goblins and earn rewards."
Intrigued, Sam taps on the simulation, pulling up the user reviews. He begins to read through the comments, his brow furrowing in concentration.
SwordsmanSam: "This game is perfect for beginners! The combat is straightforward, and the goblins provide a good challenge without being too overwhelming."
BladeExpert: "Goblin Slayer is a solid introduction to sword fighting mechanics."
IronShield: "If you're looking to hone your blade skills, this is the simulation for you. The progression system is well-balanced, and the environments are visually stunning."
Sam nods to himself, impressed by the positive feedback. This could be the perfect place to start, he thinks, a way to dip his toes into the world of game development and simulation design.
Sam donned the high-tech glasses, marveling at the futuristic tech. As he secured the device, the world shifted, and he found himself in a grassy realm, not the cluttered apartment. He took in the lush greenery and vibrant sky, very different from the drab tones before. Tentatively, he stepped forward, feeling the soft grass underfoot. This was no longer the cramped space he had woken in - it was a whole new world.
Sam tried to move his body, and he felt no different than normal. He clenched his fists, then stretched his arms, testing the range of motion. Everything seemed to be working as it should. Glancing down at his hands, he noticed they appeared the same as before - no supernatural enhancements or abilities.
Turning his attention back to the lush, unfamiliar landscape, Sam took a deep breath. This was no longer the cramped apartment he had known, but a sprawling, verdant world.
Sam scans the horizon, searching for any sign of the goblins he expected to find in this simulation. But the lush, rolling hills are devoid of movement, save for the gentle sway of the tall grass.
"Where are the goblins?" he mutters, brow furrowing in confusion. This was supposed to be a simulation designed for fighting those vile creatures. Glancing down at the sword sheathed at his hip, he wonders if he'll even get a chance to use it.
Suddenly, a small, hunched figure materializes in the distance. Sam squints, making out the distinct features of a goblin as it scurries towards him. Gripping the sword's hilt, he steels himself, heart pounding with a mix of trepidation and anticipation.
Sam feels a surge of knowledge coursing through him as his mind fills with sword techniques he didn't know before. Gripping the hilt tighter, he shifts his stance, testing out the new mechanics of swordplay. Footwork, strikes, parries - it all becomes clear as day.
"What the..." Sam mutters, his eyes widening as he watches a goblin charge closer, letting out a guttural screech. But Sam is ready. He draws his sword in a fluid motion, the blade glinting in the sunlight.
The goblin's beady eyes glint with malice as it attacks. Sam swings his sword clumsily, his movements still awkward and untrained. But through sheer determination, he manages to land a glancing blow, causing the goblin to screech in pain.
Emboldened, Sam attacks again, this time with more precision. The goblin dodges and swipes at him with its sharp claws, forcing Sam to parry and retreat. Their dance of strikes and blocks continues, with Sam's technique gradually improving as the battle rages on.
Finally, with a well-timed slash, Sam cuts deep into the goblin's side. The creature lets out a final, agonized wail before collapsing to the ground, defeated.
Sam stood there, chest heaving, adrenaline coursing through him. He stared at the defeated goblin, feeling triumphant and disbelieved.
Another goblin appeared before him. Its beady eyes locked on Sam as it charged with a guttural snarl. Sam gripped his sword and swung, connecting with the goblin's side. The creature howled but kept coming, swiping at Sam with sharp claws. Sam ducked and parried, his movements more confident.
After a flurry of blows, the second goblin joined its fallen comrade. Sam stepped back, surveying the area, but no more enemies appeared. Furrowing his brow, he decided to continue, eager to test his skills further.
Five more goblins materialized, and Sam engaged them one by one. Each battle followed the same pattern - the goblins charged, Sam blocked and struck, and the creatures fell. While he felt accomplished with each victory, the repetitive nature wore on him.
Frustrated, Sam cancelled the simulation, the lush grasslands fading to reveal the blank void. He ripped off the headset, his jaw clenched in annoyance.
"This is getting boring," he muttered, searching for a more interesting simulation.
Sam scrolls through the E-rank simulations, but they all feel the same. The enemies may look different, but they just attack in the same old ways. Frustrated, he wonders how these boring sims get such high ratings. Guess Hunters just use them to grind their skills, not for fun. Where's the excitement in that?
Sam scans the list of simulations, his eyes settling on a familiar-looking shooting gallery.
"A bird-themed shooting game, huh?" he muses, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. Curious, he dons the VR headset and finds himself in a serene forest clearing, a high-tech rifle in his hands.
As the colorful birds take flight, Sam steadies his aim and starts firing. The targets fall one by one, the mechanics responsive and the visuals impressive. But despite his success, Sam can't shake a sense of dissatisfaction.
"This is just like Duck Hunt," he mutters, recalling the classic Nintendo game from his childhood. The thrill of the hunt is missing, replaced by a hollow feeling of accomplishment.
Removing the headset, Sam leans back in his chair, his brow furrowed in contemplation. He had expected the simulations to offer a more engaging and immersive experience, but so far, they've fallen short of his expectations.
Scrolling through the comments, Sam notices that many users praise the simulations for their "realism" and "attention to detail." However, he can't help but wonder if their standards are simply too low.
"There's got to be more to these simulations than just for practicing," he thinks, determined to find a more fulfilling challenge.
Sam scrolls through the list of simulations, his brow furrowed in concentration. All he sees are higher-ranked simulations where players defeat tougher monsters and explore more challenging environments.
"Come on, there has to be something more interesting than this," he mutters, his fingers tapping impatiently on the armrest.
He pauses on a D-rank simulation labeled "Dungeon Crawler," his curiosity piqued. The description promises a complex, multi-leveled dungeon filled with powerful enemies and rare loot. Intrigued, Sam selects the simulation and dons the VR headset once more.
The world materializes around him, and he finds himself standing at the entrance of a massive, foreboding dungeon. The air is thick with an ominous atmosphere, and Sam can feel his heart rate quicken in anticipation.
He steps forward, his grip tightening on the sword at his side. As he ventures deeper into the dungeon, he encounters a variety of monstrous foes - hulking minotaurs, venomous spiders, and even a towering, two-headed ogre. Each battle requires a combination of strategy, skill, and quick reflexes, and Sam finds himself fully immersed in the challenge.
Sam enjoyed the challenge of navigating the dungeon, the adrenaline surging through him with each encounter. The varied enemies and the need to adapt his tactics kept him on his toes. However, as he delved deeper, he couldn't help but notice a certain predictability to the experience.
The layout of the dungeon, while intricate, followed a familiar pattern - a series of interconnected rooms, each guarded by a different monster. Sam found himself able to anticipate the types of foes he would face and the strategies required to defeat them. While the simulation provided a satisfying sense of progression, the lack of a cohesive storyline or ultimate goal left him feeling a bit hollow.
As Sam's swordsmanship skill improved, reaching a proficiency of 0.1, he realized that the simulation was primarily focused on honing combat abilities rather than offering a truly immersive and fun experience. The thrill of the fight was there, but the larger context was missing.
Sam removed the VR headset, his brow furrowed in thought. While he had enjoyed the challenge, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to these simulations than mere monster-slaying. He wondered if there were other experiences that could offer a more fulfilling and compelling narrative.
Sam searched for games in this world. He found that while physical games existed, simulation games were new and unexplored. The idea of virtual worlds intrigued him, but the options seemed limited.
Sam scrolled through the simulations, frowning. Most focused on combat training or basic exploration, lacking depth and creativity. He felt the technology's potential was being underutilized.
Sam researched the world further and saw many news articles about monsters attacking the city and Hunters protecting it. Due to the looming threat of monsters, simulations were only used as training tools for Hunters. He realized the true purpose of these virtual experiences was not entertainment, but practical preparation for the dangers that lurked beyond the city walls.
Sam pondered the limitations of the simulations. "Why can't I just create a simulation where I'm a god and kill all the monsters?" he wondered aloud.
After some research, he discovered the reasons behind these constraints. First, extracting skills from the simulations came at a cost - his maximum mana pool would decrease, requiring meditation or external sources to replenish it.
Secondly, there was a limit to the number of skills the human body could handle. The more powerful the skills/items, you extract, the higher the risk of mana overload and even death.
"You can count on one hand the number of Hunters with A-rank skills that can affect continents," he muttered, "but there are probably even stronger monsters out there that could defeat them."
Sam realized the simulations were not designed for pure entertainment, but rather as practical training tools for Hunters to hone their abilities and prepare for the real dangers beyond the city walls. The technology's potential was being constrained by the immediate needs of survival and protection.
Leaning back in his chair, Sam pondered how he could push the boundaries of these virtual experiences and create something truly captivating, beyond just combat simulations. The thirst for a more immersive and engaging experience lingered in the back of his mind.
Sam didn't really care about the threat of the monsters. He trusts the Hunters could handle it. Is it naive of him to think he won't be harmed by the monsters? Yes.
Sam just wants to create games using simulations. He scans the list of available options, his eyes lighting up with excitement. This was his chance to truly showcase his creativity and push the boundaries of what these virtual worlds could offer.
Sam considers the lack of engaging games in the simulations. "If there are no games for these simulations, I'll just have to create them myself," he mutters.
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Please provide power stones, and leave a comment and review of your thoughts so that I know people are interested in this story.
Advance chapters in my P@|r$0n/Najicablitz