Beauty and the Bodyguard

Somewhere in Songshan City, in an abandoned warehouse, was a black SUV- It had no licence plate.

“Fucking hell, are the cops fucking insane? All this for one million dollars, really?” Baldy spat at the ground, very pissed off.

“Boss! We can’t continue hiding in here like this!” Ma Liu was frustrated as well. “God fucking dammit, fuck!”

“Enough, stop whining. We’ll just wait for Cihua Bro’s call here.” Baldy waved his hand impatiently, the phone ringing as soon as he finished his sentence.

“Is this Cihua Bro? Baldy here!” Baldy’s tone was slightly flattering- it was his boss, after all.

“What the fuck are you shits doing?!” A cold voice sounded from the other end of the phone.

“Cihua Bro, what do you mean..?” Baldy paused.

“Did you take all the bank’s money with you?” Cihua Bro prodded.

“I… Yeah, I took it with me when we left, what’s the big deal..?” Baldy didn’t deserve this treatment- it was a bank robbery! It’d be a waste if he robbed the bank but not take any cash with him, wouldn’t it?

“You fucking pig head!! What the hell did I tell you, I said not to take anything! Are you fucking deaf?!” Cihua Bro yelled. “The only reason the cops are going all out on you is because of those big ass fucking bags of cash with you!!”

“Ah!” Baldy understood after some thought- that did seem like the case. It was all his fault for getting greedy, they wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place if he’d just went according to plan! With that, he started pleading. “Cihua Bro! I’ve been putting my life on the line for you, don’t abandon me! You’ve got to save me!!”

“Hmph. How’s the kid.” Cihua Bro asked coldly.

“Kid? What kid?” Baldy asked, confused.

“Chu Mengyao!! You didn’t do anything to her, did you?” Cihua Bro’s voice was starting to get rapid. “Fuck, it’s all over if you do anything to her!”

“Ugh…” Baldy stammered- Chu Mengyao hadn’t even crossed his mind before Cihua Bro mentioned her. “Sorry Cihua Bro… She’s been rescued…”

“What?!” Cihua Bro yelled. “You fucking-! You don’t have the girl?!”

“No……” Baldy replied softly.

“Then go die in a fucking hole, I’m done with you!!” Cihua Bro yelled again. “I shouldn’t have assigned you the job in the first place, you’re really a piece of work!! Good riddance when the cops get you!!”

With that, Cihua Bro hung up.

“Cihua Bro, Cihua Bro……” Baldy started panicking, and his pleading intensified. “Cihua Bro! You can’t just leave me!!”

It took a while before he realized that Cihua Bro had hung up already.

“Boss, what did Cihua Bro say?” Ma Liu asked, panicking as well when Baldy put the phone down.

“Cihua Bro’s abandoned us. We’re fucked.” Baldy replied, devastated.

“We’re… fucked?” Ma Liu stared. “What do you mean, Cihua Bro’s abandoning us?”

“Yes, because we lost that Chu Mengyao girl!!” Baldy sighed heavily as he thumped his ass on the ground.

“Fuck! You, it’s your fault you damned baldy! She wouldn’t have gotten away if you weren’t made hostage by that other kid!!” Ma Liu cursed, bouncing off the ground and charging at Baldy.

“You’re turning traitor?!” Baldy stared as Ma Liu landed a fist on him.

“Still acting the tough guy even now, huh?” Ma Liu grinned coldly.

“You fucking shit, you think we’d be in this mess if you didn’t let that kid take your gun in the first place?!!” With that, Baldy fired a punch in retaliation, and the two started fighting each other.

Two gunshots sounded, and both Baldy and Ma Liu fell dead in a puddle of blood.

It was the lackey that warned the police about killing hostages- A man named Li Laosan, the second in command of the group.

“San Bro, you……..” The two people left stared at Laosan, utterly shocked at the development.

“Those two are a bunch of girls!” Li Laosan hmphed. “Look at the mess we’re in! And they’re still fighting among themselves? So what if Cihua Bro’s abandoned us, we’ve got hands and legs, don’t we? More importantly, we have money! We get through this whole thing alive and we’ll live lives of rich comfort, won’t we?!”

The two lackeys thought about it- it was true. Baldy and Ma Liu’s fighting was the last thing that should be happening right now. It was no time to be fighting amongst themselves, it might even lead the cops right to them if they weren’t careful. Working together as brothers was, without a doubt, the only way out.

At that thought, they nodded- Baldy was dead, and that made Li Laosan the new boss, a boss they’d put their newfound hopes on.

“This money is enough to set the three of us for life!” Li Laosan said as he pulled the bags open, revealing the heaps of cash inside. Words were air- what mattered now was real, genuine money to have the lackeys be on his side. “We’ll have almost five hundred thousand each if we split this! Two people dead means more money for the rest of us!”

“I’m following you, San Bro!” “You’re our new boss now!” The two lackeys chanted in unison, pledging their fealty.

Laosan nodded, very pleased at the chant as he glanced nonchalantly at the corpses of Baldy and Ma Liu lying beside him……

Mengyao and Yushu almost overslept because of how late it was when they went to bed; they only crawled out of the covers at the third alarm.

Lin Yi, on the other hand, was wide awake already. He had three bowls of noodles prepared, and was already putting them into the pot of hot water by the time he heard the girls waking up. He’d made Yangchun noodles yesterday, and was fixing up chicken sauce noodles- there was still a bit of braised chicken left from yesterday, and Lin Yi didn’t see any reason to waste it.

The noodles were freshly completed when the girls came down.

“Wow, it smells so good!” Yushu’s nose was sharp, and it didn’t take any time at all before she noticed the scent the chicken sauce noodles was giving out. She made her way to the kitchen excitedly, turning her head back to call for Mengyao as well. “Yao Yao, your Shield Guy’s made us noodles again!”

Mengyao was planning on going in with Yushu, but her words stopped her in her tracks. It was Lin Yi’s cooking- should she..?

If it were for the little bit of pride and face involved- Mengyao should turn the other way immediately, as if she hadn’t smelled anything at all.

But the noodles were way too tempting!!

Slurping sounds could soon be heard as Yushu helped herself to Lin Yi’s cooking. Mengyao was itching with displeasure- the girl was never that loud when eating! Was she trying to tempt her or something?!

*[advantage]: by having their erection in contact with her

*[ cent bills]: China has cents in bills called jiao

*[Guoshu]: Guo here means country and shu means technique

*[ 190 centimeters]: Over 6ft tall

*[Lake Cui]: Cui Hu, also means Green Lake

*[hundred dyuan bills]: 100yuan is their biggest bill

*[Daoist Fierce Tiger]: The author of this novel

*[Noodles]: made of wheat

*[Rice Noodles]: made of rice

*[Zhang Tian Tian]: Tian means sweet

*[Bajiquan]: Also known as Eight Extremities Fist, but Bajiquan sounds nicer to me

*[Long Taos]: side characters in Chinese operas who perform acrobatics and fight scenes

*[12.47 to 13.07]: don’t ask me about the tree sap