Attack On Titan: Dreams

He tries to imagine carrying on without her, but it is literally impossible. Not only was she a pivotal component of his cause, combat and strategy-wise, but she was an integral part of his future.

And he owes her. Her current pathetic state is the result of her devotion to him and his cause. Yes, he had saved her life the day they met, but she has already repaid the debt a hundredfold - with every scar etched into her body, every drop of blood shed on his account. And now his debt grew with every pain and every wound she'd sustain from now until the end of their journey.

And to think - what if he never got to repay her? What if they had not reached her in time - what if the wound had been too deep to heal?

He feels nauseous at the thought, and makes a silent vow to ensure he never has to even think of such questions again.

When her coughing fit is through, and she slumps her head back onto his folded cape, drawing in a ragged breath, he leans forward and gently places a hand over hers - over where the gash is. He gives her hand a light squeeze, teary green eyes, overcome with emotion from his internal train of thought, meeting tired and perplexed grey.

Her gaze is just as bewildered as before, but when he does not break the eye contact, she turns her hand, wrapping her small fingers around his palm, giving it her own squeeze.

So this was how this felt - being the one to worry, and plea, and watch the other suffer.

He owes her for all the times he has put her through this, too.

Eren gently pulls his hand from her clasp to shift his position next to her.

"What do you want?" he asks. "When this is all over. When we take it all back. What do you want?"

She seems beat from the coughing fit, but is nevertheless nonplussed at the question and sudden change in topic.

"I don't know," she answers far too quickly.

He knows her well enough to catch her bluff, and can even sense that there is a concealed answer lying on the tip of her tongue.

"There's nothing you want when it's over?"

"I don't... I don't know," she says shakily. "Why do you ask?"

"Because," he says with a shrug. "Whatever it is... I'll give it to you. I'll make it happen."

Her exhausted eyes widen slightly and now it's her turn to look up at the ceiling.

"Why?" she questions, voice small and... slightly panicked?

"You know why," he throws back at her, wondering why she is reacting in such a way to such a simple and innocent question.

"You don't owe me anything. I'm the one that -"

"Just answer the question," he says, careful not to snap, and wishing to avoid another spiel of how indebted to him she was. "There must be something."

Everyone had something they were looking forward to after the titans.

It was no secret that he wanted to travel and see the world and the ocean, and then go home and rebuild Shinganshina with she and Armin.

"I really don't know," she says again, refusing to look back at him.

"You're lying."

She doesn't reply, eyes closing.

He is about to ask again, when she speaks, eyes opening to the ceiling.

"I don't know if it's something you could give me."

Her bashfulness has disappeared, the words coming out somewhat wistful.

"I could try," he replies, curiosity now piqued at the distinct change in tone.

The silence drags on, and her expression turns even more contemplative. He figures she's trying to come up with an answer, until she finally says:

"I can't tell you."

He was not expecting that.

"Sure you can," he says, brow arching inquisitively.

"No," she shoots back through a cough, covering her mouth with her elbow, "I can't," she finishes, laying her arm at her side.

"Hey," he says curtly, leaning over and catching her chin between his thumb and index finger, turning her head slightly so she is forced to face him. "Don't be difficult. I'm trying to be nice."

Her calm turns into that now very familiar puzzlement he's been seeing quite a bit of today, a gentle pink blush now invading the sick pallor her face had assumed.

He raises an eyebrow at the response, but then realizes it must be the whole touching thing again. He has taken to it a little too easily for his own liking.

But then, with each passing moment, the surprise on her face melts into that rare gaze he has seen a few times prior, so incredibly wrought with restrained emotion.

He has acknowledged, over the years, that the significant departure from her usually stoic demeanour seems to be reserved solely for him.

She opens her mouth to speak, closes it again. He releases her chin, but remains close, patiently awaiting her response.

"I just..." she starts, eyes flicking elsewhere momentarily before meeting his again.

"... I just want to be with you."

She falls silent, eyes searching his.

He blinks back, waiting for her to say more.

She does not.

She only stares back up at him, as though expecting him to speak.

So he does.

"That's it?"

His tone is more unimpressed than he intends for it to be.

Her face falls in response, and she looks up at the ceiling.

"I mean, I want to be with you too," he continues, in a matter-of factly way. "Of course we'll be together after all this. Me, you, and Armin will go back and rebuild Shiganshina together."

The additional information does nothing, as she remains silent and nods, her face back to its default calm expression.

"But... that's it? There's nothing else?" he presses, very quickly gaining the sense that he has upset her with his response.

He doesn't understand what the big deal is, and why she was so reluctant to tell him. It wasn't like it was bad. Her answer was simple, and honest, and he shared the sentiment deeply.

But their togetherness was already something guaranteed, if they all in fact made it out alive. It was the default ending he had promised - them and Armin, living peacefully and free to do whatever they wanted, and go wherever they wanted.

"Eren... I'm kind of tired" she rasps, voice cutting into his train of thought.

He suddenly remembers she has a nasty wound and a cold, and feels guilty for further dampening her mood.

"You wanna sleep now?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," she nods, continuing to stare at the ceiling.

"Okay," he nods.

"Thanks," she replies, and he moves to stand, but the nagging feeling at the back of his head glues him in place.

"Hey... I didn't mean to upset you. What you said wasn't a bad answer - I want that too. You know that," Eren says, and he is not used to having to be this gentle with... anyone. In fact, he can't remember a time he'd ever had talk to someone in such a way.

In fact, he rarely ever struck up conversation like this. For Mikasa, he had gone out of his way to do a whole slew of things he would normally never do for others. He truly was trying to be nice - trying to make light hearted and hopeful conversation.

And from her persisting silence and lack of eye contact, it had backfired.

He wonders if perhaps he should just stay in his loud, argumentative lane in the future.

"I know," she replies with a nod at the ceiling, yet it is weak and he knows she's holding something back.

He sighs, irritation growing as he unsuccessfully wracks his brain as to why she is acting this way.

"Hey," he grumbles, reaching over to grab her chin as he had before, tilting her head so she is forced to face him, once more. She is relatively expressionless as she usually is, but given that glossy-eyed gaze she had given him just moments ago, he finds it discomfiting and... aggravating as hell.

What was her problem?

"What's wrong?" he asks as gently as he can, exercising considerable restraint to mask his exasperation, and trying hard to control his temper.

She stares back, calm and unflinching, and it only further adds to his frustration.

But he refuses to back down and walk away, because he knows he is right - she is, indeed, hiding something.

So it becomes a staring game, and he can feel his face twisting further in concentration with each passing moment.

"Do you really want to know what I want?" she finally asks, breaking the silence. Though she is sick and wounded, there is a confident edge and challenge in her voice.

But he has won - and acknowledges that his reflex is to go on the offensive at so much as the suggestion of a challenge. But then he reminds himself it is an injured Mikasa he is talking to, and possibly upsetting, and forces his temper back down.

So he merely nods, not sure what to expect, as her eyes are now displaying an impatience he is not used to receiving from her.

"Fine,"

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Hello Eren here! Anyways if you want to become a Patreon or get access to all these chapters earlier just head over to Patreon and search the name 'Eren_Yeager_15'

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The following chapters are available for Patreons

Chapter 3 Carry On

Chapter 4 Fuck Love

Chapter 5 Announcement

Chapter 6 I Don't Want This Anymore

Chapter 7 Changes

Chapter 8 Moonlight

Chapter 9 Difference

Chapter 10 Bad Vibes Forever

Chapter 11 Announcement

Chapter 12 Only You

Chapter 13 Hope To See You Again (Would make you cry real bad trust me I know)

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Attack On Titan Hope

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