Arrogance: Volume One of Ebb & Flow

I wake up, and agonizing pain rips through me as I try to get out of bed. My side is exceptionally tender, and the slightest graze makes me wince. I hobble over to the bathroom to take a look at the damage. Well, that is not good. My left side is a splattering of various shades of red and purple. Something is definitely broken. I’m going to school to be an engineer, not a doctor, and I can still tell how bad this is. The discoloration of my skin looks like a child’s painting. I’m going to have to put everything else on hold, and I need to get to a doctor. I can’t go to St. Augustine; it’s too easy to connect the dots between Aubrey and me. Then people will wonder why I dumped her there instead of bringing her in myself. So I have to go to one farther away, like Crimton. I just left that place, and now I might have to go back.

A knock at my door startles me. “Gimme a second, Dad. I’m just changing.” I rush out of the bathroom and quickly put on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. The fabric irritates my injury, but I can deal with it. I head to the door and open it, expecting my father. Instead of seeing him, Maria is standing there with a mischievous look. And there goes any chance of me seeing a doctor. I break into a smile and pull her into the doorway. What is she doing here?

“Hey, didn’t know you were coming over. Must’ve missed your text.”

“Well, since my boyfriend seems to be avoiding me, I figured I’d just show up. I couldn’t risk you escaping out the window,” she joked.

She’s disguising it as a joke, but she’s clearly upset. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I couldn’t tell something was wrong? She’s been by my side for years and never caused me any problems. There needs to be a way for me to end things amicably without hurting her. She has been nothing short of a perfect partner. Should I get her a gift to thank her for the relationship? I have never broken up with anyone before.

“Sorry, just with losing over a month to unconsciousness, I’m behind on pretty much everything. I still have a ton of stuff to get done for college and moving and, and, and.” I let out a sigh. “And none of that is an excuse for being shitty and distant. Can you please find it in your gigantic heart to forgive me?”

I’ve practiced this tone that sits right between self-deprecating and genuine enough that it should be a pretty believable apology. She used humor to bring up a problem she has, so by reciprocating similarly, I can resolve the issue without it becoming an argument. Meet kindness with kindness and sincerity with sincerity. People appreciate it when you meet them halfway.

Truthfully, I have been treating our relationship very poorly since the party. The emergence of my ability and now the creation of Nobody are far more alluring than playing house with Maria. If I’m not careful, this could end our relationship. That’s what I want, isn’t it? To be freed to do whatever I want without having burdensome connections? Maria’s value was in making Eryk Blakely appear normal, but Eryk Blakely’s current rendition is coming to an end. I will radically change to fit my new life in Quinstin, becoming someone who doesn’t need Maria. So the question becomes, is there any reason not to end this here and now? There isn’t, but I owe her one last perfect day. I will break things off with her tonight and let Daniel know I want to move into my new place early.

“You’re lucky the girl you’re dating is gracious enough to forgive you. But you’ll have to make it up to me somehow.”

Her mischievous look from earlier is back, tinged with a promise of something more. I need to distract her. If we get intimate, I have no way to explain the bruises. And sex will only aggravate my injury. I get closer, kissing Maria’s forehead before moving past her.

“I’ll make it up to you. We’ll spend the whole day together, just the two of us. Let’s start with Dave’s Diner for breakfast.”

“Eryk, it’s one in the afternoon.”

I was asleep for much longer than I thought. “So, Dave’s Diner for lunch then?”

“Sure, but you’re paying. And I’m getting dessert,” Maria said with a far-off look.

She is probably thinking of what treat she wants. We head downstairs, and I see Daniel sitting on the couch, tapping away at his tablet with a stylus. He’s pretty focused on it, so it must be work-related. My father can enter an almost manic-like state when he gets inspired. He won’t even notice us leaving and probably didn’t see Maria enter. Not that we need a third-wheel chaperone for the day.

“We can take my car since you’re buying lunch. But you’re driving,” Maria said, tossing me her keys. “You’re lucky I am so forgiving, thoughtful, and cute.”

“You’re all that and more. What could I have done in my past life to deserve you?”

Dave’s Diner has an old-school aesthetic that stands out even in a town that hasn’t changed since before the emergence of Neuvohumans. The establishment was built out of four old retired train cars welded together, resulting in an extremely narrow and long restaurant. Everything is chrome and outlined with red and white stripes, from the walls to the booths and even the trays they serve the food on. The first two cars are for dining, and the back two are where the kitchen and storage are. It’s a local joint that’s busy enough to stay open despite never seating out-of-towners. Everything on the menu is a greasy mess, but with all the exercising I do, I can afford an occasional high-calorie feast.

Maria’s eyes are blissfully closed as she sips her chocolate milkshake across from me. The milkshakes always makes her happy, so our day-long date is off to a great start. I’ve never understood everyone’s love of sugar. I’m entirely lacking any sort of sweet tooth. If I’m going to eat something terrible for me, I prefer savory foods like the double bacon cheeseburger and fries I have in front of me. Maria’s picking at her chicken tender basket while I inhale my food. Somethings on her mind. She just isn’t sure how to bring it up. Does she know what I’m planning on doing? It's better to take control and outright ask her.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Her eyes open at my words, and she stops sipping her drink to stare at me. “I’m not sure. It feels like you’ve been pulling away from me day by day, and I don’t know what I did wrong.”

I need to nip this in the bud. “No, that’s not true. Things are just different ever since-”

“Let me finish, please. I know you’re hurting after what happened at the party and then being hospitalized. But I was there too, trapped in a burning mansion, trying to get out after you left me in the basement. You didn’t even ask how I’m doing, and it’s like you’re just pretending none of it happened. I mean, we could’ve both died back there. Ninety-nine percent of our class died that night. You aren’t the only one who went through some shit,” she said.

A few tears fall down the curvature of her cheeks, ruining the makeup she put on. She’s not hysterically sobbing or making a scene, but I’m thankful the diner is empty except for an elderly couple eating on the opposite end of the train car. I had no idea she would react this emotionally to my question. Why couldn’t you have waited until we were in your car to do this? I didn’t plan to have this conversation until the day was over. Why are you ruining my attempts at a clean and easy separation? She seems to be waiting for my response, so I’ll switch this around on her.

“I’m right here, so how can I be pulling away? I’m sorry if my near-death experience has made you feel like I’m being distant. I guess coming face-to-face with your own mortality can do that to you. You said we both could’ve died, but only one of us ended up in the hospital in a coma. My head is still spinning, so forgive me for not immediately checking on you. I’m trying my best here. Sorry if it isn’t good enough.” Redirect it and make it seem like she’s an asshole for even bringing it up. She should apologize and drop it so we can continue our date.

“You’re twisting my words, Eryk. I’m your girlfriend, not your enemy. But you’re keeping things from me and neglecting our relationship. Whatever you’ve got going on, you can talk to me.”

“Why are you making things up to try and start a fight? You’re ruining our date. All I wanted was to spend some time with you, but now you’re acting paranoid. I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.” Deny her words and blame it on her feelings.

“We’ve dated for over two years, and I know you better than anybody. Something else is going on. We’ve never kept secrets from each other, so why are you lying to me? I love you, Eryk, and I’m here for whatever you need. But don’t look me in the eyes and lie to my face. After everything, I deserve better than that.”

“I’m not lying or hiding anything from you. You sound crazy, Maria,” I said. Double down and target her again.

“I am not crazy. I’ve been trying to give you the opportunity to talk to me honestly since you got back, but it looks like you refuse to take it. Just tell me the truth; there’s nothing you can say that would make me love you any less,” Maria said pleadingly.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, babe. I can’t materialize truth out of thin air,” I said. Deny, deny, deny. Use a hyperbolic statement to try to downplay her accusations. She should give up and apologize.

“I want you to talk to me. I’m your girlfriend, and you’re treating me like a stranger. Is there someone else? Is it Aubrey? Please tell me it isn’t Aubrey.”

She thinks I’m cheating on her. And with Aubrey, of all people. I’m trying to escape this relationship, not get into another one.

“I’m not seeing anybody else, Maria. I would never cheat on you. Aubrey is just a friend, you know that.”

“I love you, Eryk, but I won’t sit here and pretend everything is fine. I have too much respect for myself to let that happen,” Maria said.

The tears are pouring down as she gets up and walks out. I look out the window and see her car pulling away. Wait, she’s leaving me here? This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. She was supposed to apologize for doubting me, and then everything would return to normal. We’d see a movie and go shopping; I’d buy her a necklace and then break up through text as I head to Quinstin on a Quickrail. This works just as well. I’ll have more time to pack now. I signal the waitress over for the check. I need to get going if I want to make it home in less than twenty minutes. She puts the bill on the table but keeps her hand on it, prompting me to look at her.

“Don’t worry, honey. Young love can be complicated and messy, but anything worth fighting for is,” the waitress said.

I leave fifty on the table, far more than our meal was worth. It’s good to tip well, and it’ll make the waitress remember me as the boy who gave a huge tip, not as the boy who got into a public argument with his girlfriend. “Thanks for the tip, and you can keep the change.”

She picks up the money and waves at me with a smile. “No. Thank you for the tip.”

Dave’s Diner is on the opposite end of town from my house. I stretch a bit before beginning a jog. I slowly ramp myself up until my side flares up, causing me to stop. Coughing and wheezing until I have to crouch down on the sidewalk. This can’t wait much longer; it’s getting hard to breathe. My injury will make the trip take me well over forty minutes, and that’s if I’m lucky and don’t have to stop. As soon as I’m home, I’m packing and buying the Quickrail ticket.

After my almost hour-long hike back home, I’m exhausted and sweaty. My clothes are soaked through, and my hair is hanging over my face, sticking to my forehead. Everything physical is becoming more and more difficult. Even walking is causing me issues now. As I round the corner to home, I can see my red truck, my father’s Jeep, and a pristine-looking white SUV parked in the driveway. It’s a lot newer and nicer than my truck. Dad was working when I left, and his manic creative episodes usually last for hours. He wouldn’t have invited anybody over. Who is at my house? Who’s vehicle is that? It’s nice. I want it. A strange possessive greed for the SUV is filling me. Is this the effect of Daeshim’s piece on my psyche? My ability is rewriting my brain chemistry on the fly, and there’s no telling what the long-term effects are. I need to find a way to get some testing done. These personality chunks will be just like it was with Davis’ rage. I need to recognize when someone else’s urges or emotions affect me and clamp down on them. A steady head and hand are needed in life.

I take a chance to catch my breath before heading to the door. I hear my father talking in the living room to someone while I take my shoes off. There’s a pair of women’s running shoes on the mat. The voice is feminine, but it doesn’t sound like Maria or any other woman I know. I can’t think of anyone who’d be visiting right now. Daniel doesn’t bring anyone from work around the house, and he’s too lonely to have any friends. Regardless, I’ll leave the man to whoever he’s talking to. Sudden laughter halts my advance up the stairs. I haven’t heard my father laugh in years, at least not in front of me—no doubt it’s related to me looking like my mother. There is not much to laugh at when you’re reminded of your dead spouse by the mere sight of your offspring.

“Son, is that you? Come on in. Your friend from the hospital is here,” he yelled from the other room.

Hospital friend? I didn’t make any friends in the hospital. I don’t know anyone from the hospital besides the three agents and Doctor Sol. A woman is here, eliminating the doctor and the man in the striped suit, but I can’t imagine Agents Hale or Sigrid laughing. Whoever is in the house is lying about how they know me. Unless the person here isn’t here for Eryk Blakely, they’re here for Nobody. I slowly sneak back down the stairs and go to the kitchen. I grab a knife from the drawer and slide it up my sleeve. I am in no shape to fight anybody if this becomes a problem, but I’d rather have a weapon on me in case.

I approach the living room cautiously and with a carefree smile on my face. Whoever this is should be handled carefully. Deny everything, don’t give anything away. There’s no evidence tying Eryk to Nobody. Could it be a detective related to Aubrey? It can’t be. It’s been less than twelve hours since I left her at St. Augustine. So, I’m back to square one. Think, my intellect is my greatest strength. To stop thinking is to die. Improvise and take control of the situation. I enter the room and see my dad sporting a nearly face-splitting smile, sitting on the couch across from someone who shouldn’t be here, who can’t possibly be here.

“Hey bud, I was just talking to Vivienne about what it was like at the hospital. I’m glad to hear you were so kind to others. Makes me proud,” he said.

How the fuck did Lavagirl find where I live?